herp-a

uh oh.

you know what sucks the most about being turned down on my first disclosure? it’s that now i have this kind of negative view as to if someone will be accepting, or not. i think i am more scared now than i was before i disclosed and that truly sucks. i know it’s possible to find someone, so many of you lovely folks have, but i can’t help but feel very cynical about it all concerning me. life goes on though and with, or without someone i will survive. 

Send me an ask with the snake that best suits my blog

Ball python = Cute and harmless

Boa Constrictor = Clingy and hard to get rid of 

Gaboon Viper: Adorable but lethal

Rattlesnake = Loud and mean

Black Mamba = Unsafe! Run! Do not want! 

King Cobra = The best blog! So wise and fearsome

Western hognose = All talk no bite

Sand boa = Super sweet

Corn Snake = The blog everyone recommends

Blood python = Moody and loud with lots of attitude

Anaconda = Your reputation doesn’t do you justice

King snake = Will devour others mind body and soul

Reticulated Python = Large and in charge

Boelen Python = Brilliant and a rare gem

Milk snake = Never stops posting, constant activity

(Made with the help of herps-and-derps)

youtube

this is the purest video on the whole internet

So you just got Herpes...

Welcome to the glitter club! I’m Glitter Slut, your guru of all thing sparkly, kinky, and not to mention sexy.

I know you’re itchy, you are hating yourself HARD, and you feel very, very alone. You’re not.. one and four have this shit. That’s a fucking lot. You have a whole community here that will support and love you. You are anything but alone, okay?

We are going to cover everything from how to love yourself again, getting the itch to stop and disclosing like a mother fucker.

This is Master-post #1 and this will cover the basics: self love, taking care of shit, getting rid of the itch and not to mention looking sexy while you do it. Master-post #2 Will cover disclosing like a mother fucker, safe sex, and good to know facts.

But don’t worry, we’ll do this one step at a time.

So take a deep breath.

Deeper.

Deeper… come one don’t be a bitch…

and let it out.

Do this two more times…

Feeling better? Good.

Now let’s tackle this shit.

I’m going to walk you through the do’s and don’ts and give you a dick ton of posts to read through to make this as pain free as possible.

Here are my most asked questions….

#1. How do I stop feeling gross and start loving myself again?!?!?

Welcome to Love yourself 101, this is the first of many bad bitch lessons you will learn from me…young glitter padawan.

The first week is a roller coaster, you sort of have to take a step back and reevaluate yourself.

You have this concept of who you are, what represents you as a person. There are things that you don’t like about yourself. Now is the time to dig in those dark nooks and crannies lay all that shit out and let it the fuck go.

I just had my one year glitterversory, and I bought some VERY expensive shoes to mark the occasion (and some jewelry and a killer dress)….  I am addicted to fabulous.

But let me tell you what I learned.

I have herpes and very openly might I add. Everyone knows, friends, family, clients, anyone who asks.

Get laid ALLLLL the time. I mean girls, guys, transgenders, all the beautiful people. They all know I have it, totally not a big deal in the dating pool.

I am dominatrix who openly has herpes and people will PAY ME MONEY to stick my panties in their mouth and make them cry.

A lot of money.

The only person who is stopping you… is you.

So you had sex? Sex has consequences: unrequited emotional attachment, stds, babies, ect…

Everything has risks, you can lesson them by being responsible: only have sex with people you love, and always wear a condom, and get on birth control. But life isnt perfect, and it would be boring if it was.

But here you are, you had sex and got the glitter… now it’s time to take care of shit.

Work out, eat your veggies, get on anti-virals, take you’re L-lysine so that way when you are ready to have sex (which doesn’t have to be anytime soon) you can inform you partner the statistics, how you’re going to protect them, and let them know it’s not a big deal.

I have disclosed: on a plain, on a train,  over the phone, on the internet, on first dates, on third dates, during a business meeting, during a make out session. (this is starting to sounds like a Dr. Seuss poem).

And never have I once been told no.

Why is that you might ask?

Because I’m a fucking Queen.

Straight up!!!! no ifs, ands or buts about it. I love myself and the glitter is a part of who I am now, and I love it just as much as the other shit that makes me fabulous. I know my worth and i wont be treated any less than that.

period.

And this would have never happened, this self love, this fierceness unless I got the glitter. Herpes has changed my life for the better in SO many way I cant count.

Don’t let fear control your life.

It’s like riding in the car with the windows up, you are so afraid of what’s out there that you miss all the good stuff.

This is HELL week (just like college) but it will get better, you will get stronger. You will learn to love yourself in ways you NEVER thought possible and people will notice.

They’ll ask you what happened…

Did you meet someone?

Did you get a new awesome job?

Why do you have this amazing new glow about you?!?

And you can tell them you got herpes… and you’re sexy as fuck. 

And they will be in awe, because it takes one bad bitch to make herpes hot.

You are that bad bitch.

Here is some of my extra curricular reading that will help you feel empowered as fuck.

-My first and most famous post..

The herpes grieving process.

-Dealing with the stigma

Slut Shaming

#2- How the fuck do these tests work?

  • My test came out negative but i’m pretty sure I have herpes!?!?
  • My doctor said I have herpes but my test came out negative!?!?

These are commonly asked questions for herpes testing. It’s confusing as fuck so let me help break it down.

So this virus is actually not floating around in your blood, (for genital it is in the lower spine, oral behind the cheek bone) but the antibodies are. Those antibodies are IgG and IgM and they are programed to fight the virus and protect you.

IgG- stays for life.

IgM- Is the first antibody to show up, like the front line. But this one can leave you like your first love.

So, it’s very important that you take the correct blood test depending where you in this relationship with this virus. If the glitter is new to you, then you need to take a test that looks for IgM. But like your situation if you have had this for a while you need a test that looks for IgG.

Now, since our health care here in ‘Merica is a industry made to rape and pillage you (and yes I understand the severity of my words and I feel that I am using them appropriately), a lot of time practitioners will pick the most expensive test, or whatever company is giving them insensitive.

So unfortunately, you need to go in guns blazing knowing what you’re talking about.

Here is a herpes blood test guide that is super awesome! Print that bitch out and bring it with you… your nurse will be very impressed.

#3- I’m pretty confident my pussy is on fire.

I am going to give you a set of links that is going educate you on how to take care of your shit. The less breakouts you have the happier of a person you will be.

My first recommendation is to read outbreak battle plan this will help get your shit in control. I know your first outbreak can be terrible. This will break everything down and show you step by step how to stop that itch.

Since I used to work in holistic health i’ve been lucky as fuck to find some AMAZING cheap easy ways to keep the immune system up and glitter attacks down. Holistic stuff for yo glitter

Essential oil and i’m not talking about lube. Essential oils are another really dope tool that can help prevent glitter attacks and provide relief, and help you glitter heal faster. So all the things.

Cool down coconut glitter stick. This is self explanatory not to mention life changing. You’re welcome. 

Taking your pussy from drab to fab in no time.


#4 - How the fuck do I look cute when my vagina is on fire?

I get this question a lot and here is looking fabulous with the glitter.

This will break down what to wear, and how to wear it for optimum hotness and comfort.


#5- Shaving? The FUCK.

I know, it’s terrible anyway but when you’re faced with glitter attacks from hell… well it’s easy to let thing get out of hand.

Let me ask you this?

How long has it been since you shaved?

I thought so.

Welcome to Shaving waxing and everything in between (your legs that is).

My most requested post EVER. This will help break down all your options and how to make the whole experience as painless as possible. Taking you from that guy there to this beautiful bitch.


#6- People just like you.

Here are commonly asked questions, and stories from people just like you.

That Bitch lied.

I would bet money I have the glitter

Has herpes changed the way you’ve dated?

Where did you come up with glitter to describe herpes?


#7- Who the fuck are you?!?!?

I’m Glitter Slut, the sexy face of herpes.

And I have finally found a cause I’m passionate about. And you guys have a lot to do with it. This blog has really changed my life. You guy’s bravery has really changed my life.  I preach the Glitter Gospel wherever I go from the person next to me on the plane, to the guy hitting on me at the bar.  I give out my tumblr url more then my phone number.

“Why are you being so open with me about this?” asked the guy sitting next to me on the plane home from my business trip this weekend.

“Because, all you know about herpes is what the media has told you. That it’s this big scary monster that’s going to swallow your dick up. It’s just a rash, most people get a few times a year. If I tell you about this now, the next time you go on a date, with a beautiful girl, when she discloses to you you’re going to be informed. You’re going to be compassionate. And you’ll probably fuck her brains out”.

He asked me out for dinner as soon as we walked off the plane.

I am the spokeswoman for herpes, and my marketing skills have never been put to better use.

I’m a well educated sexual deviant who doesn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. I’m here to help, educate, and be a positive outlet for anyone who needs it.

You are not alone.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
― Tupac Shakur

I hate sweeping anyway,

XOXO,

        Glitter Slut

The signs as reptiles

Aries: Green Iguana
Taurus: Corn Snake
Gemini: Rainbow Agama
Cancer: Veiled Chameleon
Leo: Savannah Monitor
Virgo: Albino Milk Snake
Libra: Bearded Dragon
Scorpio: Ball Python
Saggitarus: Frilled Lizard
Capricorn: Blue Tongue Skink
Aquarius: African Grey Python
Pisces: Gargoyle Gecko

lots of people talkin, few of them know; soul of a woman was created below

youtube

You may have seen this video floating around already but I want to share it here in case anyone needs a pick-me-up tonight or later. Rain frogs are soft and round and pure of heart, they’re pretty high up on my “dream frogs” list.

Signs as Quotes from the Mindy Project
  • Aries:"I want to tell you something but my New Year's resolution was to stop calling people dicks at work."
  • Taurus:"My apartment is the only place that I feel safe right now. I have food. I have alcohol. I have 600 channels. And none of them want to hurt me."
  • Gemini:"Your secret is safe with me. Largely because I don't care, and I'll probably forget."
  • Cancer:"And when your love story ends, all you can do is cry, listen to sad music, and drink wine you bought from a gas station."
  • Leo:"My phone! That has like 8 years of photos in it. All my selfies!"
  • Virgo:"But I'll tell you something that always lasts forever. Herpes."
  • Libra:"I'm not good at saying no, okay? One time I left a flea market with a samurai sword."
  • Scorpio:"My body is very attracted to your body, but when you speak, my brain gets angry."
  • Sagittarius:"I hate it when people say girl crush. No ones going to think you're a lesbian if you just say crush."
  • Capricorn:"I'm sorry. I'm just texting so that we don't have have to make conversation."
  • Aquarius:"We're here to talk chemistry and biology and your-ologly."
  • Pisces:"People seem to have these amazing sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with."