herp me herp me

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• You have colored my life with something I didn’t think I could ever deserve •

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Submitted by @dannysneksbang

My python’s enclosure! Danny is a spoiled 2-year-old ball python who is currently on Zoomed Repti Soil, has 4 hides, tons of rocks/seashells, so many fake plants, and things to climb on. He absolutely LOVES his new setup (I just put it together a few days ago) and I’m so proud of it. He’s very receptive to changes in his enclosure and he’s out every night to find new crooks and crannies. Hope you enjoy it!!

This is beautiful! You did a wonderful job with this, thank you for sharing :)

The Stages of  Grief (Herpes Edition)

Denial.
I woke up on a Monday morning; after a Sunday night of rough sex. I went to the bathroom and could barely get anything out. Great, I have a UTI because I fell asleep right after. *Eye-roll*
Days go by, I’m drinking tons of water, drinking sugar-free cranberry juice. My UTI is not letting up. I should go see a doctor.
Thursday comes along and I have to go to the ER because I am in so much pain when I do pee. Extreme burning. Extremely fatigued. My bladder is spasming - which is painful. I get some antibiotics, and some medication to help with the bladder spasming. I am informed that if I vomit, I need to come back.
Friday at 4AM, I projectile vomit all over the bathroom. I resort to peeing in the shower because water helps take away the sting. I cry. I touch my labia, and that’s when I notice it… a bump. What the fuck is this? I take a picture (after getting out of the shower). Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I have herpes.
Friday at 10PM, I work up enough courage to go back to the ER. I get the visual diagnosis, and swabs done to confirm.

Anger.
In the moments following the visual diagnosis. I am crying. My life is ruined. No one will love me. My boyfriend is going to accuse me of cheating, and I have done nothing wrong! Why does this hurt so bad? I should go over to his house and confront him! How is he going to do this to me?! He told me he got checked for STD’s and was clear! I shouldn’t have trusted him.

Bargaining.
Why can’t I have chlamydia? What about gonorrhea? Why did I have to get something that’s incurable? Why me? What did I do wrong?

Depression.
I didn’t move for days; with the exception of going to my partners house to inform him of my 2AM diagnosis. We cried together, and he apologized. I went home, called off work, and laid in bed. I cried. I wondered how I was going to tell my mom. What was she going to think of my boyfriend that she already didn’t like? Should I just commit suicide? Is life even worth living at this point?

Acceptance.
This only came with research. Ninety percent of people have HSV. One in Five have genital herpes. I am not alone. I am not a minority. I can still have children. I can still live a normal life. I am a human being. I am not dirty. I did nothing wrong. Life is still worth living; it is beautiful, even when it’s painful.
Not everyone is worthy to know of my diagnosis. My mom doesn’t need to know. My gossipy friend does not need to know. The only person that needs to know is myself, my partner, and any future partners. Herpes does not change me, it does not make me.

Successful Emotional Disclosure

OK so I’ve mentioned previously that I have recently got back in the dating game. Well I’ve met this amazing guy who honestly seems too good to be true. So I’ve met up with him twice and we get along fantastic and we are so similar in so many ways. Well last night I had a a few more lovely followers from Tumblr so I decided to tell him about my blog and my experience with my ex. Long story short I told him that I ran a blog about sexual health and asked if he had ever had a cold sore, which he said yes. Then I explained that I also had cold sores but not on my mouth but ‘down there.’

This was his reply “oh herpes, you can get medication for that anyway can’t you? So that means we can have sex then. Was that what you have been stressing about?

His response completely took me by surprise because since contracting herpes from my ex, who cheated on me, I honestly have wondered if I would be accepted and loved by someone else again. I lost so much weight within the first 6 months of being diagnosed with the stress, worry and feeling disgusted that I couldn’t even look in the mirror for a long time. I know that I have come a long way in the past year in terms of loving myself and putting on weight but to hear someone that I like to say something so positive, I just broke down crying. He cuddled me for a long time and kissed me all over and said “of course I want to still see you. What are you up to tomorrow?”

I just wanted to share another milestone in my life with you all as everyone on here has helped me through so much and I’m truely grateful ❤