I swear I spend an ungodly amount of money on heroin every day man. My life is so pathetic. It’s getting to the point where I genuinely wish I could quit but my tolerance is so high that it would be so hard on my body physically to try to.
Being homeless and strung out is such a damn chore sometimes. I have good and bad through out my days, that’s for sure. I meet a lot of interesting people being out here, but I hate how much money I spend on heroin when I wish I could buy an apartment, or makeup, or god knows what else. Food? I don’t know. I like going out to eat a lot. I’ve come to realize that I’ve been spending all my money on dope for so long that I’m not use to buying other things. I don’t even think I enjoy other things besides getting high on dope, food, and spending time with select people in my life like P and my dog Poppy.
Sometimes I convince myself I’m fine on the daily, but lately I can’t help but feel lost in where I’m at in life.
Also my friend just frantically messaged me at like 12 pm here saying she’s needing some dope and I messaged a few people to try and get her some. We have one of the same dealers and I messaged him, he got back to me and not her because I always bring him a lot of money, like over $100 a day, and she never comes to him with more than $10 like once a week. I told him she needs a dime because her anxiety is terrible and it helps her mellow out and he said he would met us if she gets here before midnight. It’s past that time and when her boy messaged me saying they are on their way to me he goes “Never mind, we found someone else, we’re on the way to them now.” I asked them if his girlfriend and I’s mutual dealer had gotten back to them and he randomly gave me attitude by being all like “Um? It doesn’t matter?!?” Like dude, I literally introduced your girlfriend to that dealer a couple of years ago. She wouldn’t be going through him if it weren’t for me in the first place. Also I literally just did her/you a favor BY MESSAGING THE DEALER and telling him to meet with her/you guys even though he’s about to go to bed by telling him how bad her panic attack is. Your girl would literally have gone home early because of her anxiety if it weren’t for the fact that I messaged him telling him to stay up to meet those two. It really pisses me off how rude people are to me when I go out of my way to help them and do nothing wrong to them. Like sorryyyyy. Don’t act rude to those you’re asking help from. ✋