Greek Gods as Things I’ve Overheard in My School

I got a request for Greek Gods as things I’ve overheard, and since school is- quite possibly the best place for these things, I figured why not!

Zeus: “Bold of you to assume that I can’t be more of an asshole.”
Poseidon: “People never drink water in class. Drink water throughout class. Drink water instead of class. Don’t go to class.”
Hades: “My math grade is almost lower than my will to live.”
Hestia: “Sometimes I just want to sit in that fire pit and roast marshmallows as I let the ashes reclaim me.”
Demeter: “They said we need more plants around. Replace me with a plant.”
Hera: “I need feminism because clearly my future husband is going to be a dumbass and I want to prove I’m better.”
Athena: “I like the smell of old books.” *proceeds to stuff face into textbook*
Hermes: “I can steal your heart, yes- but can I steal myself a personality?”
Apollo: “Music class these days is just idiots trying to find happiness.”
Artemis: “I just want to be gay with an instinct to kill.”
Hephaestus: “I want to build myself a girlfriend.”
Aphrodite: “Maybe one day people will appreciate my inner beauty and not my numerous pimples.”
Dionysus: “Time to get DRUNK!” *chugs water bottle*
Persephone: “I love flower crowns. They make me want to-” *cracks knuckles* “Kick ass.”

Hermes: *walking around still disappointed six hours after visiting an aquarium*

Poseidon: what did you think a tiger fish was, Hermes?

common misconceptions of greek or roman mythology

» Nike & Dike are two different gods. Nike is the goddess of victory & Dike is the goddess of justice

» Hades is the god of the underworld & Thanatos is the god of death

» Persephone isn’t just the queen of the underworld, she’s the goddess of spring

» There’s two goddesses named Thalia, one of the muses, and one of graces

» In Greek, a name like Hekate or Kassandra would be spelled with a K, but in other languages it can be spelled with a C

» In Roman Mythology, Apollo is still Apollo (there many be other wording to how it’s spelt, but it’s still Apollo)

» Hermes could fly without his sandals as they were simply symbols for him

» The definition of the twelve Olympians changes because multiple texts decipher other gods/goddesses as being apart of the twelve Olympians

» The titans were not ultimately bad gods, some would say they were nicer to humanity and never tried to destroy humanity (this idea was popularized by Percy Jackson), and the Olympians attacked first

» There is no “Pandora’s” box, Pandora, who is actually a woman created, actually opened the box after being gifted it on her wedding day

» Not many people worshiped Ares because he was majority of the time on the losing side & he was considered too violent and difficult to have on your side 

» At first Rome’s gods had no appearance until they absorbed more Greek Mythology

» The Trojan War is still being debated as actually happening, there has been debris found that could indicate that there was a siege to the city

» Male demigods tended to have higher-than-average ambition and physical powers, while female demigods (like Helen of Troy) only were gifted with exceptional beauty

»  Death gods were pretty laid back compared to other gods & the only person/god Hades ever killed was Asclepius, but only because Asclepius was bringing the dead back to life & disrupting the cycle of life