I use the drugs to forget you.
But for some reason when I’m so high I can’t remember my name, but I can remember the first time I meet you.
I get reminded of the butterflies I got when you pushed my hair behind my ear.
I remember our first time together, and how gentle you were.
But I also live through you leaving me again.
How you said, “I can’t handle you anymore.” I was “just to much baggage.”
You got clean before I did, you got your life together.
I was just weighing you down.
I guess I get it, no one wants to take care of someone who can overdose at any point.
But I took care of you.
And in return you introduced me to a world I never knew.
You left me because the gift you gave me started coming before you.
I don’t know why I could think getting high would make me forget you.
Once my warmth feels my body, I can feel you with me again.
Sometimes I’m mad you had me try it. Sometimes I thank you because it’s the only think keeping me alive without you.
“Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide. And this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart… I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart.”