heres a llama

Llamas with Hats starter meme
  • There's a dead human in our house.
  • I do not kill people. That is- that is my LEAST favourite thing to do.
  • And I, uh, well I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.
  • Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck.
  • My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands would satisfy.
  • You sunk an entire cruise ship.
  • I would think I would remember something like that.
  • Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?
  • I will not apologize for art.
  • Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean.
  • I have a problem. I have a serious problem.
  • Shh, do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.
  • That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.
  • I don't know about you but I am having a wonderful time here.
  • The people have spoken. Viva la resistance!
  • That was a foot. I appear to have swallowed an entire person.
  • Well, that explains why my mojito is taking so long...
  • It was horrifying. Your mouth unhinged like a snake.
  • That hurt my feelings. Now we're BOTH in the wrong.
  • Well, I'm building a meat dragon, and not just ANY meat will do.
  • I feel like I've been issued a challenge.
  • I totally don't remember your name.
  • Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some pictures to delete from my computer.
  • I'm not responsible for this. I've been jamming on the saxophone all morning.
  • Clue number 1- the imposter is a phantom.
  • What's that? It's hard to hear you over the sound of a melting city.
  • I ripped the tag off a mattress.
  • Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people who just exploded.
  • Friendship is two friends munching on a well-cooked face together.
  • You're right, it's not nearly as tasteful as I pictured in my head.
  • Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
  • It's a lovely day out, we're having a great time, what have you done.
  • I stepped on a ladybug by accident.
  • I may have created a crack in space-time.
  • I think I was expecting worse.
  • But this is totally fucked, bro!
  • I don't understand how or why you do anything!
  • And the payment is baby hands.
  • I'm the Henry Ford of human meat.
  • It's not a meat grinder, it's an orphan stomper.
  • It's everything. Everything you've done, ever.
  • That looks like a meat dragon.
  • Did you finish your meat dragon?
  • Now how would you feel if I called your work a monstrosity?
  • Of course I had to use faces. Anything else would be disrespecting the art.
  • I disagreed with the election results.
  • I think their bodies are still in my blood canal.
  • You're sitting. You never sit.
  • Pianos aren't supposed to bleed and scream!
  • Why can't you go horrify someone else?
  • You made a mask of my face?
  • To some, you are now known as Nikolai Sponakoff, brutal leader of the Russian opium cartel.
  • I used up the rest of my savings buying the swans.
  • I buried a large chest of dubloons once, I could go dig that up.
  • A lot of something is in a hole somewhere.
  • I'm putting on some music. I'm not listening anymore.
  • I think I would have remembered dismembering someone and putting all their bits on the ground right here.
  • You said you weren't coming back.
  • I'm kind of just freestyling it these days.
  • Oh, it's my gore pit.
  • I think my legs are broken.
  • That's probably a basilisk. It probably won't bother us. The stupid thing only eats CHIPOTLE!
  • Were you always this creepy?
  • All the hands are eaten, all the meat creatures are made, unleashed, and then also eaten...
  • Yelling. Also a felony.
  • I'm sorry if this violates your restraining order, but it's important.
  • Oh, hey. I didn't do that...

morally-ambiguous-llama  asked:

can i ask why you like bismuth so much? this isn't a callout or an accusation or anything - i just want to understand your reasoning behind finding bismuth to be one of your faves, if that's ok

I like how loving and protective she is of her friends. I identify with her anger and her feelings of helplessness and that her immediate response to betrayal is to feel worthless and self-loathing–she’s obviously mad about what Rose did, but she never calls her bad or even wrong for doing it; she tells Steven about how much she admired her despite knowing she betrayed her, like she doesn’t forgive her for it but she still respects her and wants to understand. I love her because all her flaws happen because her good points exist at such extremes.

I love what she brings out in the main Crystal Gems team!!! Garnet and Pearl are the selves they normally only show glimpses of (that is to say, both radicalized and self-accepting but also deeply vulnerable oppressed people, and old soldiers of a noble resistance to tyranny) the entire time she’s with them. She makes Amethyst feel better about herself and shows immediate respect for her, and even though Steven doesn’t understand her (and like, I don’t like the way it was written but I think he DID innocently misunderstand her; I would have responded the same way at 14…maybe not the re-bubbling) she recognizes him for what he is: Rose’s attempt to completely understand Earth and do better than she did the first time around.

I love her design…I love how interesting and complex but also deeply, fiercely loving and supportive she is in a well-done ship with Garnet and/or Pearl…I love her Working Class Hero vibe, I love her hair. I love the idea that her gem is a very brittle and low-hardness one, she could have cracked or shattered even more easily than Pearl could have? I love the idea that she went into every battle knowing, expecting that it could be her last, that she was the bravest of Rose’s army but would never call attention to it or take credit for it.

I love that her hands and arms are so big and she could carry Ruby or Sapphire or Pearl and probably even Garnet away from danger in one hand

wrt the bravery/brittle gem thing, I love the idea of Pearl comforting her when she was out of commission with a cracked gem on the battlefield and all they could do was wait on the ground, weapons ready, for Rose to get there, consoling each other with daydreams of freedom

tinycactus-tinyllama  asked:

Hey! You're awesome! Those sleeping headcannon were so good :3 It made me wanna go back to bed and snuggle haha I'd like to see your thoughts on gladnis and their first time together. Also, gladnis kinks? ;D PS. Don't forgot that you're awesome

So you asked me this AGES ago, and it’s been sitting here waiting for me to do something about it. Well, finally, here it is. Tiny Llama, you’re awesome. 

Gladnis first time. Ho boy. And Gladnis kinks. Yes please. How about a post where the two kind of meld? *shrugs* Moderately NSFW. Mentions of BDSM.

  • Gladio was nervous of asking Ignis out. Ignis is smart, sassy, successful, and beautiful as all fuck. Not that Gladio isn’t those things, but Ignis’ exterior is so flawless that he just never worked up the courage to do it.
  • So when he does finally do it, there’s a lot of pent up feeling and long-term pining…
  • They’ve been best friends for years
  • Sparring sessions were hard for Gladio. Pun intended. Cue Gladio trying not to pop a boner when he finds out just how flexible Ignis is.
  • Gladio does pop a boner during one particularly hot, late evening sparring session and calls it off early, heading to the showers. Ignis comes across him in the shower.
  • Gladio is ready to die of embarrassment, but Ignis just steps in under the shower beside him, completely surprising him with how forward he is, in such a public space. Admittedly it’s late at night, but still…
  • Cue very hot shower sex
  • Cue Ignis discovering his kink for doing it in public places where they could be discovered
  • Cue Gladio finding shower sex even hotter than he ever did before
  • They don’t talk about it the next day, but Ignis starts giving him The Eye™ in meetings until Gladio can’t take it any longer.
  • One night they’re out with Prompto and Noctis as chaperones, and, while the younger pair is off on the dance floor, Gladio pounces on Ignis in the semi-privacy of their booth. “I can’t stand this any longer. Stop torturing me,” he growls, hands in Ignis’ hair, knocking his glasses askew, and kissing him with a raw passion.
  • Ignis smiles beneath that kiss, and returns it. “I was wondering how long it would take you,” he breathes between kisses. Then he yanks Gladio back off him by his hair with a strength that takes Gladio’s breath away. “We’re working tonight. Later.”
  • Gladio finds the sharp tone of command in his voice intoxicating, and also finds his body obeying completely and utterly.
  • Ignis smirks.
  • Cue some dom!Ignis and sub!Gladio play, with Ignis calling him ‘soldier’.
  • They fall into their relationship in a tangle of steamy, stolen kisses around the palace and passionate nights releasing lots of pent up emotion and tension on each other. Gladio is an attentive partner, knowing when to give Ignis a shoulder rub and when to blow him, and Ignis is a tender, sassy partner, knowing when Gladio needs to have all his control taken away from him so he can relax and be taken care of (in whatever way seems most fitting at the time…), and when he just needs someone to curl up with to take his mind off the pressures of his role as shield.

As a thank you for reaching 150 followers (though I’m now somehow at over 300), I’m writing 150 word drabbles. Send me a person or a pairing plus a word or a sentence, and I’ll write you a 150 word drabble (or headcanon) in return! (note, drabble requests will close around Friday/Saturday 23rd/24th June)

Scribble-Doodle: Limpet

“Up and at them,” Magnus says fondly, as he tugs at Alec’s arm which is hanging limply from their overstuffed couch.

Alec raises his head slightly and looks around blearily. “… re we goin’?”

Smiling, Magnus tugs and pushes and heaves until he finally has his lover vertical. “To bed. If you sleep on the couch again, you’ll feel like a herd of llamas ran you over in the morning.”

Alec frowns but allows himself to be led towards their bedroom, stumbling clumsily over his bow lying discarded on the floor. “Llamas? Here?”

Carefully steering Alec around the doorjamb, Magnus grins. “Yes, honey, llamas. Dangerous beasts, those llamas.”

“Oh.” Then Alec perks up slightly when their bed comes into sight. “Bed now?”

“Yes, bed now,” agrees Magnus and lets go of his lover’s arm. “But first, we need to get you out of your gear.” 

Alec blinks at him owlishly for a moment, then he tries - very unsuccessfully so - to get out of his ichor stained jacket. Magnus watches him struggle for a few seconds, then he rolls his eyes, snaps his fingers and lets Alec’s clothes - all except for his underwear - disappear.

“Woah!” Alec yelps, flailing when he meets a sudden lack of resistance. In an attempt not to fall he grabs at Magnus who yelps just as indignantly, when he ends up buried under the near nakedness of his lover as they both fall into their bed. 

Sighing, Alec curls around Magnus like a giant octopus and goes limp. “Nice…” he breathes out.

Magnus blinks, then tries to wriggle and squirm out of his lover’s arms. To no avail. Alec’s deeply asleep, hanging on like a limpet.

“Erm… Alec? Dear? This is not what I meant. Could you just… Alec?”