here-my-dear

Letters (pt. 5)

part onepart twopart threepart four

Summary: It’s been months since you left the Avengers base, and moved into a little apartment. Everything seems to be at peace except for, well, you. After finding an envelope between your windows, old feelings begin to resurface.

Words: 976 whoops

Warnings: Misuse of shower curtain rod

Notes: I’m sorry I take so long to update. If it helps, I’ve been side-writing (is that a thing/word?) a few other fics? :D Maybe not.. I should stick to one fic at a time hahaha. Anyways, enjoy this short part. ~ feedback is rad.


By the time one o’clock rolled around, your room was completely full of light. The oiliness that coated your forehead and around your nose made you cringe. As you stretched out your limbs, a lengthy yawn escaped your mouth. You sat up on your bed, realizing how incredibly icky you felt. You were never one to sleep in worn day clothes, despite how tired you were.

It didn’t help that you had left your windows completely uncovered, basically granting permission to the sun rays that radiated their heat all throughout your room. You could feel the atmosphere still warming up, so you covered half the window and dragged yourself into the bathroom. 

The feeling of regret from your attempt to stay up all night and morning caught up with you, with tired eyes and exhausted mind. 

While the shower ran, you idly stripped the clothes off your body. Right away, goosebumps decorated your skin. Even with the warmth engulfing your apartment, the lack of clothes still caused a chill to run down your spine. Before stepping into the shower, you connected your ipod to the speaker and hit shuffle.


James-

Why didn’t you stop me?
Please, for the love of god, let me help you remember. You’re missing the important parts of us, of those memories. Going back into cryo was your decision, and even though it hurt like hell to leave you, I didn’t stutter when I said I can wait. You remember me crying, begging… But not me telling you that it’s worth it? I don’t care how long it takes Bucky. Days, months or years. If it means that we have a future, then I will wait. I can retire, the both of us can find Steve and the others. We can help you put the pieces together.
You managed to remember some parts of us, wouldn’t you like to know the rest?

If you really are reading this, come home.

Bucky sighed as he found himself walking down the familiar path, with your letter folded nicely in his pocket. Sooner or later, he would have to face you. He wouldn’t have any choice. There was no escaping the memories that were left of his past. It would be better to get this over with. The worst you could do, was reject him.

He walked up to your side of the building, noticing the window half covered right away. Considering the fact that your window was completely uncovered when he grabbed your letter, he knew you were up. As he made his away into the complex, he took the stairway that led to your apartment.

Barely halfway up the stairs, he felt his heart beginning to speed up. Maybe it was because of the stairs? No, of course not. It would take dozens of stairs to raise his heart rate. This was different. By the time he made it to your door, his heart was nearly pounding against his ribs.

What if she isn’t even home? What if she changes her mind? It’s not too late to turn back now?

Slowly, he raised his left fist up to your door and knocked gently.

Now it is.

No response. For a moment he thought he knocked too softly; only to realize the sound of metal on wood isn’t a soft sound. You definitely would of heard that. Immediately, panic started to set in. Without even thinking of possible consequences, Bucky punched a hole through the door and unlocked it from the inside.

Frantically, he looked around the apartment for any signs of struggle. Nothing. The only thing that caught his attention, was the music that was blasting from the backside. Cautiously, he made his way past the small kitchen, through the living room and finally, outside the bathroom door.

Bucky knocked once again, calling out your name right after.

“Y/N?” he called out. No response still. He gripped the doorknob. Locked. At this point, the panic had created even more adrenaline.

“Y/N, I’m coming in!” he yelled, kicking the door in with ease.


As you finished rinsing off your body, a loud noticeable thud echoed through the bathroom, slightly shaking the walls. You knew for a fact that it wasn’t anyone you know. The idea of Nat breaking into your place seemed valid at first, until you recalled telling her about the spare key under one of the flower pots outside your apartment.

You turned off the water, but let the music stay on. There was an absence of movement from outside your bathroom, which was reassuring and terrifying at the same time. It meant that whoever was in your home, wasn’t looking for anything to steal. But it could also mean that they were looking for you.

Quickly, you wrapped your towel around your body and as quietly as possible, you grabbed the rod and gently removed the shower curtains off it. You weren’t going down without a fight.

Your body tensed up when you heard the knock on the door.

“Y/N?” a voice called out. With the music still playing, the voice sounded unrecognizable. The doorknob fidgeted for a second, making your heart stop. Your body relaxed when you realized you had locked the door.

Before you could do anything else, you heard the voice yell out.

“Y/N, I’m coming in!”

Promptly, the door flung open and hit the wall. Without hesitation, you ran towards the intruder swinging the rod at them. The rod came in contact with something hard, causing a loud cling.

“Hey! Wait, sto-” you cut their voice out as the rod collided with something softer. They hit the floor with a thump, a deep groan following right after. You stopped swinging the rod, and studied the person on the floor. Right when you were about to question them, you noticed the silver hand rubbing the trespasser’s head.

“…Bucky?”


commmments? thoughts?

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2

Since you’ll eventually become witches, you should be called magical girls.

7

Happy Birthday to my super lovely Daph-chan♪ (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ ♫ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

4
2

“run my dear, from anything that may not strengthen your precious budding wings. run like hell my dear, from anyone likely to put a sharp knife into the sacred, tender vision of your beautiful heart.” ~hafiz

this. this has been seven years in the making. two months of running. no injuries, no pain. not fast, but running. seven years of countless “i don’t know what we can do anymore,” and “maybe your body isn’t capable of running.” 

finding out i had been silently battling lyme’s disease for years was the weirdest mixture of relief and fear i have ever experienced - realizing i had a reason and an explanation was gratifying, but wondering what that would mean going forward was intimidating. but here i am today, 3 months lyme’s free, and helping my body grow into the best version it can be. like i said - i’m not running fast - but it’s thirty magnificent, breathless minutes of running with seven years of gratitude in each step.

p.s. a tremendous thank you to @championsaremade and @rachaeldee - thank you for being gloriously inspirational beams of light, hope, and motivation. it has been nothing but encouraging and empowering to see you, christiana, conquer your injury and come back with even more fire and passion than ever. and rachael, watching you dominate your marathon and continue blossoming into the gorgeous go-getter you are today has been so unbelievably wonderful. you both are such beautiful souls that inspire so many people to continue striving to be the best they can be. thank you both for encouraging so many people to fearlessly chase their dreams.

{my beautiful bracelet courtesy of dan - my biggest fan and dearest supporter}