Chloe looked up from Trixie’s worried face. Dan’s urgent tone made it clear his statement wasn’t just about getting Trixie dinner in the hospital cafeteria. Chloe looked back at her little girl (who she was going to be leaving once the poison ran its course) and gave her small fingers a squeeze. “Go on, monkey. Make sure your dad eats too, ok?”
Trixie looked up at her with huge eyes, her chin tipped down, and her hand gripping Chloe’s fiercely. “I’m afraid to leave you, Mommy.”
Chloe stroked Trixie’s hair. “I know, monkey, but the doctors said I’ll be ok for a couple days. I’ll still be here when you get back.”
Chloe blinked back tears. “I promise, monkey.” She sniffed and reached down to tickle her little munchkin. “Now, make sure you bring me back a chocolate bar, ok?”
Trixie nodded fiercely, gave her mom another hug, and then reluctantly followed Dan out of the room. Chloe waited until the door clicked closed before she leaned back into her thin pillow, bit her lip, and silently began to cry. It’s too much. I can’t do this. I can’t. I have to be strong, for Trixie. At the thought of her daughter, Chloe let out a sob, and curled into herself. She heard the door handle turn, and took a deep breath, trying to get her emotions under control. I can’t let them see me like this. She left her back to the door, hoping it was just a nurse.
Footsteps quietly tapped across the linoleum floor. Chloe closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. The footsteps paused beside the bed, and Chloe waited for the nurse to finish reading her vitals. She opened her eyes, surprised, as she felt someone’s fingertips brush against her wet cheek.
“Sorry if I startled you,” Lucifer said, quickly withdrawing his hand. “I just…” He paused, and rubbed thumb over his wet fingers. “Are you all right, Det–Chl…” He trailed off.
Chloe swiped quickly at her eyes. “I’m fine.” She inhaled deeply and tried to give Lucifer a smile. “It’s just been a rough day.”
One corner of Lucifer’s mouth quirked up. “What, did someone forget to give you that horrible gelatinous substance they call Jello?” Chloe laughed a little, and some of the worry left Lucifer’s eyes. “I’d be happy seek out that wobbly horror if it makes you feel better.”
Lucifer was trying so hard to cheer her up, and Chloe was mortified when she felt herself tearing up again. “No– Lucifer, I… That’s ok. I don’t need any.”
Lucifer crouched down so that he was eye level with her, and leaned on the railing. “Don’t lose hope, Detective.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Lucifer.” Chloe was surprised at the harshness of her own words, but her emotions were completely raw right now. “I don’t need a hope speech.”
“But I have a plan to find the anecdote!”
“No!” Chloe interrupted. She lowered her voice. “I don’t want to hear it. The cure died with the professor, and the sooner you accept that, the easier it’s going to be.”
Lucifer leap up. “I refuse to accept this fate. I have a plan–”
“Lucifer, stop,” Chloe choked out. “Please. I can’t deal with your anger. I can’t deal with Dan’s guilt. I can’t deal with my daughter’s sadness.” There were tears in her eyes again, but she didn’t care. “Everyone is grieving around me. When do I get to grieve?”
Lucifer looked confused and unsure, but tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. Chloe reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tight. Lucifer bent down and put his arms around her. Chloe breathed deeply of his aftershave and drew strength from his solid chest. “Please, Lucifer, just stay.” Chloe pulled back a little and gave him a watery smile. “Just for a bit.”
Lucifer reached out to brush Chloe’s hair back behind her ear. “You don’t have much time,” he said, looking worried.
“I’ll make time for you,” Chloe said, and tugged on his arm.
Lucifer reluctantly swung his large frame over the hospital bed’s raised arm. The mattress gave a slight crinkle as he settled next to her, unsure what to do with his arms. Chloe settled against his chest with a sigh, and Lucifer carefully slid his arm under her until his shoulder was in the crook of her neck. Chloe felt his hand settle on her shoulder, gently at first, then tighter, with his other hand coming up to stroke her cheek. “Only for a moment, Chloe,” Lucifer whispered.
Lucifer waited until she drifted off in his arms, and then gently extracted himself from the bed. He reached down and tucked the blanket around Chloe. “I’m sorry, Detective,” he whispered. “I have to try.” Lucifer quietly opened the door, and left to find a nearby room to send himself to hell.
Anyway, while I’m having overwhelming Bispearlnet feelings, might as well dump them here.
I love Bismuth! I love her thousand-year-old camaraderie with Garnet and Pearl! I love that she has that established, proud call-and-response with Pearl: “Who do you belong to?” “Nobody!”, that Pearl launches herself at her from across half the room, that the SU wiki has a very important entry for her and Pearl’s relationship that says that they “have bonded over their common disregard of the Gem caste system” - in which the two of them are right there at the bottom, and look at them go! How delighted she is to see Pearl demonstrate a cool new skill (lasers, man!). I love that they spend 95% of their shared screentime in entirely unnecessary physical contact, and that Bismuth tears up at the sight of Pearl crying because she “can’t take it”. How she apparently made like 50 different swords for Pearl and how Pearl treasures them and takes great care of them thousands of years later, long after Bismuth was presumed lost.
I love her carefree roughhousing with Garnet, the teasing and banter, the extent to which Garnet is relaxed and smiley around her because she doesn’t have to hold anything back (neither physically nor emotionally) or hide any part of herself. I love that way back in Giant Woman Garnet told Amethyst and Pearl they couldn’t come with her on a mission because only she could swim in lava, but guess who else takes hot lava dips? I bet nice lava baths were her and Bismuth’s #1 relaxing method, especially after extra gruelling battles, or before them - but after Garnet combed through vision after vision, a thousand Bad Ends, trying to ensure the best possible future outcome for all of them. (I get extra sad thinking about Garnet blaming herself after the Battle of the Ziggurat where Rose told them Bismuth was lost, kicking herself for not seeing this, for not managing to find a good enough future when it really counted.)
I love how all three of them reminisce about the war and the old days (both bad and good) and how they relentlessly support each other and
build each other up
(Bismuth is building what she wants to now, after all). The way they hold hands! Look at that! Tiny hands.
Anyway I want this
to un-happen with the intensity of a thousand suns and I am upset.