looked down at the pile of books he had just rearranged on the floor to look
particularly unappealing, ‘where’ve you gone?’
To any stranger, and
indeed to the woman currently wondering why an account of the mid-twentieth
century in the Soviet Union had been shelved between a vegan cookbook and a pamphlet
from the American National Park Service, it appeared as though the proprietor
of the bookshop was looking for the snake that had been contentedly coiled
around the plastic ingenico credit card reader on the table that was
sort-of-but-not-really a check out counter only moments before.
‘Oh dear. Not today.
You’ll freeze out there…’
‘Lost your associate, Mr.
Fell?’ the customer inquired politely.
‘Don’t touch anything from
before 1975 or printed in the last four months. Or any of the literary
‘I understand. You can go
look for your snake.’
‘And don’t go in the back
‘I’d really rather you
leave so I can lock up.’
‘How do you know he went
‘Because he’s stupid.’
Aziraphale managed to
steer the customer out the door and generally in the direction of the coffee
shop further down the street. Then he turned around to see a familiar figure at
the end of the next block merging into the crowd crossing the road, hands
shoved into newly materialized pockets.
Aziraphale sighed. He
caught up to Crowley near the corner of Leicester Square Christmas market.
‘All I said was that it
was overpriced and that I’d rather not-’
‘Rather not what, angel?’
‘I’d rather stay inside.
What were you thinking going out the door as a snake? You could get stepped
‘Only one person who does
‘You shouldn’t be on the
floor. You never get out of the way.’
‘I have bruises d’you know
‘Ooh! Look at this!’ Crowley
had picked up a long piece of blue and white jelly candy that was moulded in
the shape of a snake.
‘If you touch it you buy
it,’ the person minding the stall pronounced saccharinely.
‘Isn’t that like,
‘Hmm?’ Crowley had bitten
the head off of the jelly snake.
‘It’s the same thing as
‘There are people shaped
candies, like- What are those things… Sour babies?’
‘Sour Patch Kids?
‘Aren’t those American?’
‘You could have shared,’
Aziraphale said finally, watching the tail of the snake disappear between the
‘That’d be awkward, like,
you know that movie where they’re eating pasta from either end?’
‘Lady and the Tramp?’
one.’ Crowley walked over to the next nearest stall, returning his hands
to his pockets.
‘Are those supposed to be
angels?’ Aziraphale asked idly, looking over the figures carved in tree bark.
‘That one’s you.’ Crowley
nodded at one of the statues.
‘Just because it’s holding
a book doesn’t mean it’s me.’
‘Yeah it does.’
‘You do that, a sort of-’
Crowley imitated the humming noise Aziraphale made when he was trying to
‘That’s not singing.’
‘Do you need a hat?’
Aziraphale gestured to a display of headgear that would have looked more at
home in eighteenth century Russia.
‘Don’t like fur.’
‘What about a scarf?’
‘Have a scarf.’
‘A bruise coloured knit
ribbon doesn’t count as a scarf.’
Listen. One of us has to stay down here and blow up a lot of silly tin men, and one of has to go up there and look after a lot of very scared people, day after day, for the rest of their lives, and keep them safe. Now the question is this, Nardole: which one of us is stronger?
b99week// day seven ⤷ free day ⇢ the jake and amy (and charles) story “Oh, you sweet, naive boy.
I haven’t even begun to pressure you two.
I’ve already written my best man speech for your wedding.
Oh, I’m gonna need you to get married on a farm.
A lot of my jokes rely on that.”
If the trolls didn’t play Sgrub, assuming they all live long enough, they’d each have decedents of their own. So I made some edits for hypothetical ones!
This is all just for fun and purely hypothetical, but here they are! I’ll put names them, i only put a little bit of research into each name and used some from an old conversation, so sorry if they’re off base myth-wise and all.
Kionna Megido (From Yuki-onna, a Japanese spirit. The name literally translates to “snow woman” a reference to Sn0wman.)
Auroch Nitram (From the ancestor of modern cattle, aurochs)
Teomim Captor (From the Hebrew name for Gemini)
Kardin Vantas (From the shade of red and a Catholic title)
Lodari Leijon (From the Greek word for Lion)
Zaniah Maryam (From a triple star system in Virgo)
Kaegor Pyrope (From the Aramaic for prosecutor and the caegar coins Terezi flips)
Lesath Serket (From a a subgiant star in Scorpio)
Elatus Zahhak (From a centaur in Greek mythology)
Amalth Makara (From Amalthea, who is sometimes identified as Capricorn in mythology)
Aquari Ampora (From R. Aquarii, which is notable for being a symbiotic star in Aquarius)
Kanloa Pexies (From Kanaloa, a god of the ocean with forms of cephalopods in traditional Hawaiian religion)
uhh… i know there are rumors that the repack date is september 4th but umm… there’s literally gonna be a full moon on september 6th (09/06) which is eerily the same numbers as when the teasers were released on the day of the eclipse at 09:06:43 AM PDT so uhhh… just… keep that in mind i guess