“Why Did You Have To Leave?” || Conor Maynard Imagine
A/N – It’s already 21:49 here and I still have two more to go after this!. Thanks for sending in your requests guys,They’ve been cool to write all day. GUYS IM SO PROUD OF THIS SO LEMME KNOW IF ITS BAD SO I KNOW. Love you all x
- E x
— Conor’s POV —
“We did everything we could. We’re so sorry. Your wife didn’t make it.”
Those words keep replaying in my head, she was gone.
I couldn’t breathe, but I couldn’t cry either.
I was completely numb. I didn’t feel anything. It was like time stood still and nothing happened, it felt like a dream.
‘It was just a nightmare, you’ll wake up soon’ I say to myself as I start walking away.
I just run, no where in particular, but I just run. I’ve lost her and I’m alone. I can hear my brother and my friends shouting my name, telling me to come back but I just carry on running to a complete no where.
She’s gone, but I can’t let her go.
— 2 weeks later —
“Today, we lie to rest Y/N Y/L/N. The beloved Wife, mother, and daughter. May she rest in peace for eternity.” Are the words spoken as my wife is laid to rest, two weeks after the car accident.
“Now, we welcome her husband, Conor Maynard to say a few words.” He says, inviting me to where he was stood, to tell all these people how much I loved her when I should be telling her.
She should be here.
“Y/N was the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out. The first day we met, she was too scared to speak back to me so she just smiled, our first date she told me that I was the only guy to ever ask her on a date, our wedding day I cried on the alter seeing her in that dress, the day she gave birth to our little boy Y/S/N was the day my life changed forever.” I say, a single tear dropping onto my cheek regardless of how much I push them down, my son doesn’t need to see me cry.
“Her heart was the warmest thing I have ever encountered. She sat with me until three am making sure I was ok from my stress with the covers, she helped with everything - she supplied me with the oxygen I needed everyday.” I say, unable to hold back to tears as I stand before the place where she now lays, my son holding my hand.
To lose you mother at 4 years old, I can not imagine the pain. The emptiness it will bring him as he grows, as he develops into a man.
“What I can promise her is I will watch our son grow up, become a man and make sure he’s the best damn man I can make him. She protected him with everything, and if she were still here she would. So I’m going to do that. I love you, Y/N. I always will.” I say, before picking up my son and walking away.
Everyone says sorry all the time, that everything will be ok. But they don’t know how it feels. What it’s like to lose someone you love with every single particle of your body.
Later on, after the funeral, I go back to where she permanently sleeps.
Where she sleeps peacefully at last.
“He’s gone home with Jack and Joe. He loves you, so do I babe.” I say, sitting down on the floor in front of the slab of stone that now represents her.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have been the one to protect you, to make sure you were ok and I didn’t do that. I failed you.” I say, now not making an effort to hide the tears due to a lack of people around me.
“Waking up next to you in the morning was the best thing. The first time it happened I felt like I’d won the world as a prize. You were the only thing to make me smile when I was down, you and him.” I whisper as I let more tears fall down my cheeks.
“Why did you have to leave?” I ask her, breaking down into hysterics at the thought of her being gone.
“I swear to you now, he will be the best man we could have made hi. I’ll protect him with my life I swear to you now Y/N. I love you more than I will ever love anyone.” I say, attempting to control my breathing but failing, letting my tears stream down my already stained and rosy cheeks.
I get up, and turn around and get ready to leave, wiping the tears of my cheeks the best I could.
“I love you, forever and always.” I whisper, blowing a kiss to where she lays.
She may be gone, but she will never die. She lives through my son, she lives through the half of my heart she owned.
My one and only has left the world, but remains in my heart forever.
136. Was I named after anyone: nope no family name or anything
137. See previous post
148. What I’m really bad at: to keep this post from being pages long, I’ll go with cooking because holy fuck am I awful at that.
152. See previous post
49. Am I excited for anything: the fact that nothing really came to mind is a bit pathetic really, because I know what I would like to be excited about and that’s making me sad. I suppose moving somewhere south/warm, because that’s my plan as soon as my youngest is out of school.
50. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to: I do - as I mentioned in my previous post, my bff is a guy, and most of my close friends seem to be guys. Brad was a guy, I’m really close to a group of Tumblrs (in addition to several females that are part of that group) and those people I could tell anything to.
do the impossible: rank every 1975 song (no dlid songs, just songs from the self titled and iliwys) good luck HAHA
okay this took like 2 days soz lol but here we go. i did the deluxe edition of the self titled to spice it up idk if u meant standard but too bad LOL
i *tried* to go by 3 basic questions to guide my rankings: 1 - how often do i listen to the song, 2 - how strong of an emotion does it evoke, and 3 - how cool is it live/how cool would it be live. so here’s what i came up with:
The Brookdale Lodge (recently known as the Brookdale Spa and Lodge) was once a booming inn for weary travelers. Boasting a river that ran through its main restaurant ,and the Mermaid Room ,where guests could lounge while peering into windows which provided a unique under water look into the deep end of the swimming pool, the Brookdale Lodge was also a popular spot during the Prohibition. In the 1950s, it was even one of the hangouts of stars like Marilyn Monroe and James Dean. Rumor has it that the living weren’t the only ones who frequented the lodge. According to visitors and staff, the Brookdale Lodge is also the home of several ghosts.
Perhaps the most frequently seen spirit in the place was that of Sarah Logan. When Sarah was six, she had fallen into the river and drowned. Sarah could be spotted wearing a blue and white dress ,walking in the lounge or through the hallways. Several people have spotted her playing on the balcony. Employees noted that when she was seen she always looked.like a “real” person, until she either disappeared or walked through a wall. Other guests have reported that they have walked up to her crying figure. When guests asked her what was wrong she would reply that she is looking for her mother before disappearing.
Unfortunately, Sarah was not the only person to meet their untimely death at the Lodge. In 1972, a thirteen year old girl drowned in the pool of the Mermaid room. It is also rumored that during the time of the Prohibition, gangsters who frequented the place hid numerous bodies in secret tunnels below the building. Visiting psychics have said that their spirits, as well as that of up to 49 more, still reside here. And they are all very active.
People would often hear voices, soft music, and the clinking of glasses in the Mermaid a Room when no one was present. A jukebox located in the room would also turn itself on and off by itself. Late at night when the building was empty, the sounds of a busy dining room, including loud ghostly conversations, could be heard. The spirit of a woman could also be seen roaming around the river in the Brookroom. This spirit is believed to be the mother of Sarah, still searching for her long lost daughter. Strange smells, such as flowers and cigar smoke would often appear out of no where, doors would slam, footsteps could be heard echoing throughout the building. In the a Fireside room, the haunting sounds of a long gone big band could be hear still playing to an invisible audience. People in the pool room have also provided accounts of cold spots, feelings of an unseen presence, and being touched.
Finally room 46, or recently 2009, was thought to be the most haunted room in all the Lodge. It’s previous tenant, a woman who worked in exchange for lodging at the Brookdale Lodge, states that mysterious occurrences happened all the time. At night, objects and strange shapes would fly around the room, and spirits would materialize before her bed. The woman said that some of the more frequent visitors were the ghosts of a teenage boy, a man with a knife wound across his face, and a man with an eye hanging loose around his cheek. She could also sometimes feel someone sitting at the edge of her bed while she slept, although she never could see who it was.
Although it was a popular destination, the Brookdale Lodge eventually fell into disrepair and, finally, abandonment. After several fires, its doors were permanently closed in 2009.
Page 48 is the most important page in the CBO report
This is the web version of VoxCare, a daily newsletter from Vox on the latest twists and turns in America’s health care debate. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that 22 million Americans would lose coverage under the Senate health bill. The CBO report is a dense 49-page document that you can read here. Read more
I have always wanted a “When the Levee Breaks” like episode only with Dean being the one locked up and even though we don’t know if we’ll see Dean going through withdrawl (though I assume we will - see also here for some more spec), this 49 seconds clip, capture so well how on edge and how strung out Dean is.
How far off the reservation, how far into the rabbit hole he has run. Completely and undeniably out of control - only he thinks he is the exact opposite. He is unable to see himself, face the addiction, admit to his problem.
And so he lashes out. At Cas. At Sam. Aims where he knows it’ll hurt most. And yet, when they turn around you can see this moment of “oh oh” creep over his face. And even more so the little look he shoots Cas. He hadn’t expected for Sam to give in (I guess), but he didn’t expect Cas to leave him hanging, as he would see it through his drug addled mind, not seeing straight, only thinking about the next hit.
So when they leave him, he tries to make ~amends, because he dreads the moment he is alone. And maybe not just because he knows he’ll hurt, but maybe because that blissful calm he felt will be replaced by all different kinds of voices in his head. Kind of like Tessa must have heard them. Only that Dean is not hearing the dead. He is hearing his dad, Sammy, Cas and most of all the voice, that begs for more.