(mixed with the prompt “I don’t want to love somebody else”)
The room was blanketed in black and that, mixed with being utterly drained from a late hunt, had caused Alec to stumble through the bedroom, knocking his knees against the wooden frame of the bed. His eyes adjusted slowly, noticing the lump sprawled across the bed. He moved quickly to his side, gently pulling the blankets back and shedding his jeans, opting to shower tomorrow. He’d swiftly changed at the institute, no one receiving more than superficial cuts and bruises, before darting out towards his boyfriend’s flat.
“Alec?” The voice murmured, Magnus’s fingers slowly grappling the sheets, accidentally brushing Alec’s forearm.
“Magnus?” Alec looked down surprised, before kissing him apologetically, gently brushing his thumb across Magnus’s collarbone. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”
“No.” Magnus’s voice sounded inexplicably loud. “I wasn’t sleeping.”
“What are you still doing up?”
“Oh?” Alec curled into Magnus’s chest, breathing in his smell. He didn’t want to move, as if movement would scare away Magnus’s thoughts and knit his lips back together. “About what?”
“You. My life. My past. Myself.” Magnus paused. “Us.”
Alec treaded carefully, he knew Magnus’s past was a sensitive topic and he didn’t want to overstep. It was something he was afraid of mentioning ever since Camille.
“Do you-You know I’m always here Magnus, for anything. If you ever want to talk about it.” Alec whispered earnestly, pulling away to stare at the dark silhouette of Magnus’s face.
“What are we doing?”
Alec frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Exhaustion dripped from Magnus’s tongue, words forming sentences of the heart. “How did we ever think this was going to work?”
Alec’s face soured before he pulled himself out of Magnus’s warm grasp, shifting back on the bed, dangerously close to the edge. “Why are you saying this?”
Magnus’s gleaming eyes were wide, as if he just realized what had spilled from his mouth, making no move to reach for his boyfriend. He pressed his lips together tightly, forming a bloody line.
“Magnus.” Alec tilted his chin up, his eyes impossibly blue. “Talk to me.”
Magnus’s entire body shuddered, as if Alec’s words ran along his spin, a chilly path forming in their wake. He took a deep breath, his thoughts threatening to burst. He thought he would’ve died from the impact.
“It’s just-” Magnus pursed his lips together, piecing his words together. “You’re an angel, Alec. I mean, you’re not but, you’ve got all this angel in you, in your blood, and you’re busy saving lives-”
Alec’s face scrunched shut. “Is this because we haven’t seen each other lately? You know I’ve been trying Magnus, but with my parents gone and the institute-”
“No,” Magnus sighed. “It’s not that. I know you’re busy. But, with Izzy you’re such… And with the institute, and with the demon activity. Just last week that group of werewolves that had been injured, and then helping Simon-”
Alec shifted closer, gently squeezing Magnus’s wrist. His eyebrow sprung up curiously, albeit worryingly, Magnus had never babbled like this. “You’re not making much sense.”
Magnus propped up on his elbow, running his other hand through his hair. His eyes slipped shut, bracing himself, the words physically painful to say. “You’re a good person. Too good of a person for something like me.”
“You’ve lived for so long and you’ve helped so many people. How many times have you saved my life?” Alec’s eyes dropped sadly, wrapping his arm around Magnus’s shoulder, across his back, tugging them closer. “You’re a good person too.”
“I’m a demon.” Magnus responded bitterly.
“You’re a person.” Alec repeated.
Magnus ripped himself away violently. “No, I’m a demon. That’s just what I am and I’ve had millenniums to accept it, at least I thought I did,” Magnus’s gaze was downcast, looking over the sheets, wanting to tie them around his mouth as if it’d be enough to silence him. “And then you came along, and I’ve never wanted to not be a demon so much in my life.”
“Being half-demon doesn’t make you bad.” Alec slowly lifted himself up, Magnus’s crouched figure tugged towards the end of the bed. He moved deliberately slow. “You’re one of the kindest, most selfless people I know.”
Magnus looked up, his eyes so incredibly heartbreaking, that Alec wanted to shrivel up and cry. “You don’t know me at all.”
Alec pushed past the last inches of space between the two, slowly littering Magnus’s hand in kisses. “I know that you’d do anything for those you care about. You can’t look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn’t give Clary or Catarina or Ragnor or me the entire world if we’d asked for it. I’ve seen how you look at Raphael, sometimes I think that he’s one of your unofficially, adopted children. Even Jace, how many times have you helped him even when he’s being an asshole?”
Magnus stayed silent. Alec had hoped he was listening.
“Magnus, you’re not a demon, I mean you are, but you’re so much more than that. You’re a mentor. You’re a friend. You’re family. You’re loved, so so loved, by so many people because you’ve changed our lives. You’ve given me things I’d never thought I’d have.” Alec softly pressed his lips against Magnus’s nose, his words far more intimate than the kiss. “I love you.”
Magnus choked. “But you could love anyone. Anyone could fall in love with you too. You’re easy to love.”
“Magnus.” His hands cupped Magnus’s cheeks, his emerald eyes glowing as if the darkness couldn’t drown them. “I don’t want to love somebody else.”
“But my eyes…” Magnus whispered, trailing off. He’s instinctively shut them, self-consciously pressing his fingertips against the closed lid.
“Are beautiful. Do you know why I think they’re beautiful?”
Magnus let out a strangled laugh. “Because you’re my boyfriend and that’s what you’re suppose to say?”
“No.” Alec responded, somber and serious and genuine. “Some have a window to their heart on their sleeve, but not you, yours is through your eyes. You have eyes that narrow so fiercely when you’re in the midst of battle, fighting to save lives, to scream out justice when it feels like millions of gunshots of defeat are firing in the background. Those same eyes that widen in astonishment when I surprise you with take out. The eyes that flutter tiredly when you refuse to fall asleep because you ‘need’ to finish the movie, that I’d given up on hours ago. Eyes that shine when you refuse to cry or that smile when your lips can’t stretch far enough.”
“They’re just eyes.”
“Could you look at my eyes and say the same thing?”
“Yours are different.” Magnus mumbled. “Yours are-”
“I’m not superman, Magnus.” Alec interrupted. “I’m not an angel. You’re putting me up on this pedestal and then crushing yourself when you can’t reach it. I’m here, with you, and we’re both amazing. And we both deserved to be loved. I love you.” Alec spoke with so much conviction, willing that Magnus understood, willing that Magnus saw what he embodied rather than the demonic aura sprinkled around him, embedded in his skin, coursing through his blood.
“I love you too.”
Magnus wasn’t sure if it was enough, but in the moment, it felt like it was.