here's a detail shot of all of them

anonymous asked:

I was just wondering, what do some of your pieces look like unedited? Some of your linework looks so detailed and complex that I wondered if you layer images or if it's all on one piece?

Here’s a little wip shot I posted on twitter earlier today:

I had already adjusted the contrast and inverted parts of it. As you can see, the halos are missing, I drew and scanned them separately and put them on their places before starting coloring. It’s easier to keep them cohesive when you don’t have to worry about composition or ruining the existing line work.

...and now you're gone...

Hey guys! So this is my first writing, so feedback is really appreciated :) it’s based on I Don’t Even Know Your Name, hope you enjoy!

——-

Eyes.

All I saw was one pair of deep brown eyes.

My heart beat fast as I got lost in those round dark orbs. Her eyes were glued to mine, just as mine were glued to hers. I could feel the sweat collecting as a gripped the neck of my acoustic guitar. Luckily the words of Life of the Party were engrained in my memory, because lyrics were the last thing on my mind. The words spilled out of my mouth out of habit as my gazed was locked on one thing… one girl.

Her hair fell in cascades down to her bare shoulders. Her soft pink dress brought out the rosiness of her cheeks. I could tell she was doing her best to hold her petit frame up on her tip-toes to see over the crowd. Her pink lips curled at the ends into a subtle and irresistible smile.

As the final words of the song found their way out of me, the wild movement and cheering of the crowd took my attention for a mere second. When I turned to dive back into those chocolatey spheres, they weren’t there. I felt my heart sunk deeper and deeper into my stomach as a realized she was gone.


The rest of the show was a blur. I can’t picture the rest of the crowd, or even the venue. As I sat on the bus, southbound from the Twin Cities, I could feel an ache in my heart. I felt her eyes locked on mine, and pictured her face. She was the closest thing I’d ever seen to perfection.


The rest of the tour dragged on. Time seemed to stand still as one thought, one person filled my mind. We played our last show in Toronto, and I finally exited to bus for good as I stood in my Pickering driveway.

I spent day after day with a pen in my hand and a guitar in my lap. I wrote and sang and for the first time, the words had meaning. There was no imaginary girl, no figment of my own creation, for whom these words were meant. She was real… she was out there… and I was going to find her.


A new album meant a new tour. The plans were set and dates announced, catering to my one request: a stop in Minneapolis.

August 6. I took another sip of coffee as I saw the bright red lights of the arena sign. My eyes had not seen sleep since we crossed the crooked border from Wisconsin to Minnesota.

“Here we are,” Andrew said with a sigh. “Happy yet, Shawn?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t know what this show meant to me. He didn’t know the pain that shot through my chest when I thought of the last time I was here. He didn’t know the meaning behind the worst I would belt on the stage that night. He didn’t know.

“Not yet,” was all I said.


As I stood on the side, ready to take the stage, I closed my eyes. I pictured exactly where I saw her. I pictured every detail of the girl who consumed my thoughts for over a year. I opened them and took the stage.


With each song I sang, my eyes scanned the crown. I looked for her familiar smirk, and those deep, dark eyes. But as each song ended, I was left with disappointment as she was no where to be seen.

Anxiety filled me as a realized I had one song left. I was disappointed that I hadn’t seen her face, and disappointed that she wouldn’t here the song I wrote for her.

“Ooo, you dressed up so nice, but all I could see was your eyes…

Another scan. No luck.

"And you’ll never know what you did to me, and now you’re gone…”

My heart sank as I sang the final line.

“I don’t even know your name…”

I sat alone in my dressing room with my head in my hands. She wasn’t there. She was gone. Lost forever, only to live in my memory.

Andrew knocked on my door, telling me it was time to head out. I rubbed my eyes on final time, hoping to get the sight of her out of my head. No luck. I grabbed my backpack and trudged my way to the back door towards the bus.

I dreaded stepping on the iron beast. It was filled with the words I had written for her, that I sang with her face on my mind and hope in my heart of seeing her again. That hope was gone. We had come back, but she did not return. She was gone.

I watched my boots hit the ground as I trudged towards the bus. Running my hand through my hair, I took one final look at the venue, and laid my hope of seeing her to rest right there in the parking lot.

I looked back down and took painstaking steps towards the bus. Just as I reached the door, I heard a small voice from behind stopped me in my tracks.

“Umm excuse me,” it said. It was so soft I almost didn’t believe it was real. I kept my eyes on the stairs of the bus, until I heard it one more time.

“Shawn?” it said. With the use of my name, I slowly turned around, only to be met with the deep brown eyes that had consumed my thoughts for what felt like centuries.

“Y/n,” those beautiful lips said. “It’s y/n.”

White Rabbit - Three

Spencer dashed into Agent Hotchner’s office, not even stopping to knock. Luckily, his supervisor was alone and didn’t berate him for his lack of professionalism.

“Dr Reid, is everything okay? I thought you were lecturing today?” Hotch glanced up from his paperwork, greeting the younger man with a concerned look on his face. Spencer was out of breath from hurrying from his car and into the office, and Aaron knew that something must be wrong.

“Hotch, I’m really not sure. One of the students handed me this and then ran off.” Reid placed the folder onto the next watching as Hotch flipped it open and started leafing through the papers.

“Spencer, help me out here. I can’t read as quickly as you.” Aaron picked through the crime scene photos that appeared in front of him, finally seeing the handwritten letter and scanning it.

“This girl, Alice. She claims she knows who killed these people, that the cases are all linked. She shouldn’t even have these photos or some of the information that she does. And there’s a Polaroid… ” Spencer rummaged through the many papers searching for it and finding it, handing it to his boss “…here. She’s with two of the girls that turned up dead. She knows them.”

“You think she’s got something here?” Hotch looked at the Polaroid and back to the crime scene photos.

“I think she might. Hotch, I remember three of the cases coming across our desks but we didn’t have anything. No leads, nothing. But she’s picked out more, saying they’re linked and that she knows how. And she was nervous, she practically threw the file at me and ran, but then she was stood watching as I got into my car, like she was making sure I’d read it. As soon as she saw that I’d seen her, she ran again.”

“So she is definitely a student there then? Did her Professor say anything about her behaviour?” Hotch was studying the Polaroid carefully.

“Only that she wasn’t usually that nervous, he said she was quiet but she was one of the smartest in the class.”

“Hmmm.” Aaron eyed the photos of the bodies. “What do you think, Reid. If you think there’s something here, I can make a few calls and we can go and speak with her. I trust your judgement.”

Spencer moved around the table and stood behind his supervisor, bending over and pointing to the photo.

“The bracelets, everyone in that photo has them on, even the people in the background have them on. And the children only have one on. The way they’re all dressed as well, very simply.”

“You think it’s some kinda of group? A cult?”

“It’s something. She’s younger in the photo but it’s definitely her. And in her letter she makes a reference to knowing the victims, but not by the names they were given. A lot of groups or cults, whatever we want to call them, will assign members different names in an attempt to detract from the previous identity. That’s if the followers don’t change their names in the first place.”

“Okay, I agree, we might have something. Do you have any contact details for this girl, Alice, did you say her name was?” Hotch put down the photo, looking up to Reid.

“Yes Alice. And no. She hadn’t even signed her full name. I’ll call Professor Frost though. He should have her details.”

His supervisor nodded at him and Reid pulled out his cell, scrolling for the number the Professor had provided him with.

“Dr Reid, How can I help?” The scholar seemed surprised to be hearing from him so quickly.

“Professor Frost, I need to speak with one of your students about something in the papers they gave me. Are you still at the school?”

“I’m afraid I’m not and I don’t have their personal files at home with me. If it’s of absolute urgency, I can return to the school within an hour or two.”

Spencer mouthed to Hotch, “is Garcia still here?” He nodded.

“Could you just provide me with a surname then. We should be able to find her from that? It’s the girl you called Alice that I need to speak with.”

“Of course, I’m surprised she didn’t leave it on her file though. But it’s Manchester. Alice Manchester.”

“Thank you Sir, sorry to have bothered you at home.”

Spencer rung off, the Professor telling him to call if he needed anything else.

“Got it. I just need to see if Garcia can find her based on just her name.”

Hotch shot him a withering look. “Do you know Penelope at all?”

They walked down the hall together, Hotch having gathered up the contents of the file.

“Hey Boy Wonder, wasn’t expecting to see you back here today.” Penelope Garcia greeted her colleagues, spinning around in her chair to see them, a grin plastered across her brightly coloured lips.

“I wasn’t expecting to be back here today either. Penelope, I need you to find me contact details for one of the students who attended the lecture I gave today.”

Penelope didn’t need to ask which college he’d been at, she kept tabs on all of her team; liking to know where they all were at any given time. They were like family to her. She tapped away at her keyboard and within seconds, had gained access to the college’s central database.

“Name please, Genius.” Her fingers poised and ready to type.

“Alice Manchester, spelt like the city.”

A few more clicks and Spencer had the information he needed, Penelope reeling off an address and contact number.

“249 Carson Grove. That’s not too far from here right? Says she lives with her sister Ellen and her brother in law Robert Manchester.”

“Thanks Penny, you’re the best.” Spencer turned to leave, intending to drive there straight away if Hotch would agree to accompany him. A phone call might spook her and she’d seemed nervous enough already.

“Wait!”

The two men turned around to face their female colleague who had a perturbed look on her face.

“Isn’t that odd?” she asked.

“What, exactly?” Hotch responded to her.

“Well it says she lives with her sister and her sisters husband. But they all share the same surname. Surely, she’d have a different one to them right?”

Penelope had an excellent point, one which both Spencer and Aaron had missed.

“Garcia can you do a quick search on Alice Manchester outside of the school’s database.”

She tapped a few more keys, pulling up multiple windows and tabs.

“Erm… There’s literally nothing. She has a drivers license attached to her school records as identification, but there’s no actual records of that being issued either.”

She tapped again, searching further whilst the men waited patiently.

“Nope, nada, zilch. Beyond the school database, that name doesn’t appear anywhere. Well, except for an Alice Manchester born in 1845 but I doubt that’s our girl. Why is she ‘our girl’ anyway? What has she done?”

“We’re not sure yet,” Aaron told her, thinking. “Can you find out her sister’s maiden name?”

“Can I find out her sister’s maiden name,” Penelope scoffed. “Is the Pope catholic? It’s….. Ellen Bradley. Okay, okay… So…”

She amended her search, looking for an Alice Bradley.

“Here we go. Alice Bradley born September 28th 1990, daughter to Paul and Marlene Bradley, tragically killed in 2000, she was left to the care of her older sister Ellen who was thirteen years older.. Yadda yadda yadda… Reporting missing by her sister in June 2005, three months before her sixteen birthday, she’d been spending the summer with her best friend Rebecca Olson in Rylon County. Um um um…. Here, picture. Is this the person you’re looking for?”

She pulled up an image from the missing person’s report.

That was the girl Spencer had seen this afternoon, and the girl from the Polaroid.

“Was the missing person’s report ever closed?” Spencer asked.

“Nope. It’s still active.”

“So her sister filed the report ten years ago and never bothered to inform the police when she turned up again?” Hotch turned to Spencer, the two men now confused.

This was getting curiouser and curiouser.

8

SunsetDragon’s Garnet WIP

Here’s all the progress shots from working on this unique take on Garnet.

Crown - For the flower crown, I dyed some star shaped light covers blue and pink and wove them in with a fake flower vine and additional flowers. I did a test run of the crown at Sakuracon even though I wasn’t able to wear the costume.

Bodice & Shawl - The bodice was draped and gathered out of the matching skirt fabric and some extra pink fabric I had on hand. The waistband (not pictured) was detailed with silver lace and attached to the dress. The shawl was sewn, had a star applique added on the right style and then trimmed with a sparkle grey fabric and covered in rhinestones.

Skirt - And lastly the skirt had to be screen-printed with custom screens in a pale pink ink and then brush painted with glitter (not pictured) for a shimmer effect.

I unfortunately make the skirt a little too long to walk around con in and it was the last day, so I had to checkout of the hotel before I could change. But I am planning to photograph this sparkly creation this weekend. Then I plan to shorten the skirt so it can be worn on the con floor at future conventions, add a few more rhinestones and draw on the star details.

anonymous asked:

IT'S SO HARD TO FIND FANFICS (SMUT 😏😏) ABOUT CHRIS/HERMANNNNN! HELP MEEEE

I honestly don’t know any :/ Even I don’t put (detailed) smut in my fanfics. I’m not good/comfortable with it. But I know that there aren’t any on ff.net (because I’ve read them all) and as for ao3 I haven’t seen any. Tumblr is still your best shot, I guess?

I’ll still give you a few things to check out, these are either Chris/Reader or Chris/Eva! Mostly Chris/Eva tho.

But as for good non smutty fanfics you can read @reivenesque (here) @arieschris (here) and @s-kamimagines‘ fanfictions (on her tumblr). There are other I like, I’ll just list them here:

- Every scene was a sign

- Let’s keep it fun

- I’ll love you till death

- No strings no marks

- Cool Girl

- Keep your mouth shut

- Santa baby

- History

- Christmas

- Fine Then

- Late Night and no-so early mornings

- Problem?

 And voilà!

FanFic: The Fall of Friar

A/N: This fic takes place during college. I had mentioned a Rucas breakup in several other stories and @siennese asked if I intended to write about what happened.  I have 5 chapters planned for this fic and 3 new related one-shots/drabbles that will take us from here through to the start of the IG series. This takes place several months before Charmed Moments.  As with 99% of my other stories, this is a Maya-free universe. 

A/N: They are in college and while I won’t be providing details about intimate moments, they will be alluded to… 

Chapter 1- Only the Name Remains

Keep reading

RWBY V4E11 - What was the point of that last scene?

WARNING: HUGE SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN RWBY VOLUME FOUR EPISODE ELEVEN: TAKING CONTROL.  I URGE YOU TO SEE THAT BEFORE YOU READ THIS.  THE ENTIRE EPISODE WAS ONE BIG REIGN OF HYPE AND TERROR.  IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE EPISODE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS RWBY, DO NOT READ THIS.


Okay, now that that’s out of the way.  The last scene of Taking Control did not just tease the Nuckelavee Grimm again.  I think it showed us that the Nuckelavee has some kind of special ability.

Let’s go through the last scene again.  Ren and Nora are running through Kuroyuri, scared and intent on making sure Ruby and Jaune are okay.  They collapse outside an archway, out of breath and terrified.

The first thing on Ren’s face is relief, because he sees that they’re okay.

It seems that it’s only them in the clearing, and that they haven’t been hurt.  

“What are you guys doing here?” asks Ruby.

“Did you hear that noise?  What was that?” asks Jaune.

Ren starts to answer, but immediately sees something and slowly drops to his knees, his head hanging low, pure terror in his eyes as he repeats “No…” over and over again.

“Ren?!  What is it?” screams Ruby, off-screen.  Suddenly we hear hoof-beats and hissing noises, slow and menacing.

“Wait…do you guys hear that?” asks Jaune, off-screen.

“Ren…?” says Nora, fear building in her voice, off-screen.

And then…

We see it.  The Nuckelavee Grimm, with arrows from previous brawls still sticking out of its back, its eyes and mouth like fire inside it.  And then the episode ends.  Stop with the cliffhangers, RT!!!

This entire scene was just a little bit off to me.  Ren and Nora arrive, but directly after Jaune and Ruby speak, Ren sees the Grimm.  There’s even a part where his eyes dart around before he sees it.

So…um…where is it?

In the shot where we see the Nuckelavee, it looks like it’s close enough for Ren to see the details on its face…and I say Ren because it was obvious that he saw it.  Everyone else was all “What are you doing here” and “What’s going on”.  None of them ever mentioned seeing it.

Is Ren the only one that can see the Nuckelavee?

They could definitely hear it; Jaune mentioned hearing the hissing and clopping.  But none of them seemed really scared.  And here’s another thing to note: Every time the camera zoomed in on Ren, everyone else was heard off-screen. 

Which makes me wonder if Ruby, Jaune, and Qrow are even there to begin with.  Is this an illusion cast by the Nuckelavee?  What is Ren really seeing?

What the hell is going on?

5

Jerome x Reader

AN:I kind of feel Jerome’s a little OC in this, hopefully if I keep writing for him I’ll find the right balance of crazy :P



Run! That was all that ran through your head. The door had been left open and your restraints were loose so you yanked yourself free and hurtled out to the hallway. You began to panic when you found the front door of the penthouse room locked but you quickly spied the fire escape and despite being several hundred feet in the air, you decided to risk falling over staying, especially if it meant staying in a building full of escaped criminals.

 

“Come on Doll come back inside.” Jerome chirped as he hung dangerously over the bannister so he could watch your long descent.

 

Just as he started climbing down, realising you had no intention of coming back up, you found an open window that lead into a hallway. You vanished through it and you could hear him shrieking angrily like a demented bird.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Your reblog prompted a question - who is Onision and what has he/she/it done to deserve sex offender registry? I have heard his/her/its name a few times, but I know nothing about him/her/it.

There’s 10 years worth of stuff that I would have to go through to really answer this question in full and that’s a lot of energy tbh cause holy fucking shit is there a lot. But I will always encourage people knowing the truth because his fan base is young and impressionable, and he’s a monster.

Google “Encyclopedia Dramatica Onision” for an overview, a starting point. There are threads on lolcow, prettyuglylittleliars, and kiwifarms that have been archiving his shit for years too if you want all the details and screen shots, etc. Also blogs on here such as onisiondrama. I would also point you to google the letter Adrianne wrote about him (actually: http://www.lifeofonion.com/index.php?title=The_Letter ) and listen to the series voicemails he left her, it’s on YT. ( https://youtu.be/DPnC3n2fpYs) I’m gonna do this cause last time I did some people had the nerve to still try to defend him and act like I’m making shit up, asking for citations and shit like I didn’t tell them where to go looking at the top of the post….. (http://specialsnowflakesanonymous.tumblr.com/post/149340202191/jetpack-jenny-specialsnowflakesanonymous)

The long and short of it is he’s a 30 year old man who prays on girls around 16, grooms them, traps them including financially, abuses them, forces himself on them, and uses them as props in videos. Eventually they’re dead inside and crazy for having to put up with him. And He puts it all on his youtube channel cause he’s very black and white about things so as long as it isn’t technically illegal he thinks it’s ok. I’ll give you like the worst of the worst that I can think of right now but know there’s A LOOOOOOT more where that came from. I’m trying to keep it brief. And it’ll still be long as shit anyway. I’ll toss some links in here and there, ones I didn’t have to dig for.

- He flys underage girls to states where the statutory rape age is lower so he can fuck them (admitted in his own videos)

-His current wife was like 15/16 when they first started talking so he rented a house in her state so he could sit on her and wait for her to graduate and take her back to WA with him. Also they’ve admitted that she gave him head when they first met. He was like 27. Knocked her up soon after.

-He recorded his ex (met her at 17) having some sort of mental episode and put it on youtube for profit (which could have been faked but that doesn’t make it much better) https://youtu.be/cz_9s9SgQao

-He recorded the same girl having a mental breakdown because she was saying she wanted to kill herself and such and put it on youtube for profit, videos basically her saying he destroyed her and she’ll destroy him back or w.e… keep in mind she went from a happy lil popstar to this, though: https://youtu.be/r7HcGsMb5PQ

-He also recorded her in the shower and put it on youtube as a joke
-He also shaved her head while she was asleep and claimed it was a joke, but I should mention it’s hard to know what’s what with these people, they’re both crazy and do shit like fake miscarriages and fatal diseases for attention so.. she’s made other videos and blog posts sobbing hysterically about what he put her thro btw but I cbf, her name was Draculah and I think it was on livejournal

The Shiloh saga is too long and complicated tbqh, Google a time line or something if you want

-He’s been bullying a girl on youtube for having an eating disorder. He made a parody skit about her (use adblock: “Eugenia Cooney’s Cooking Show”) then tried to be like “I’m doing this so she’ll get help” like ok bro, also he’s trying to get her banned from youtube for the eating disorder he assumes she has. (Which she probably does tbh but it’s not his buisness and she’s not encouraging it in any way other than existing)

-He berates his wife and others on his twitter and channel to publicly humiliate them when they don’t do what he wants

-Like when he made fun of markiplier after his friend committed suicide

-Literally one of his series is just him picking a YouTuber and talking shit about them and the other YouTuber us usually like ??? “Who are you??” He’s just trying to stir drama and leech off their name

-His wife came out as bisexual so he found her a teen girl to be her gf which eventually became a 3way relationship and then moreso an excuse for him to fuck the teen girl himself

-He made fun of fans of Christina Grimmie (sp) after she was shot, berating them and being generally disrespectful to them for mourning her

-His current scandal is about how he has his own forum where young girls post pictures of themselves half naked with his name on them so he can rate how attractive they are in his videos (p.s. he claims to be a feminist). Girls as young as 11. After shit hit the fan he’s made videos trying to guess if girls are legal or not

-He tried to make the teen girl from the 3 some cut off ties with her best friend (cause the girl was being a good friend telling her to leave the obviously abusive situation) and also demanded the girl get a tattoo of his wife and her’s ship name (Billy + Lainey= Lillie…btw his wife’s name is Taylor but he renamed her) and a flower as a way of proving she can be trusted again. Her crime was smoking weed by the way, and for sitting on a guy’s shoulders at a concert so she could see the stage. He made this girl make out with his wife for his channel. Lots of smearing going on in his channel too, revealing intimate and personal details, text messages that make him look worse than how he’s trying to paint her…

-Currently there’s some 16 year old girl that lives in his house that he’s basically always calling fat and recently people have noticed she’s becoming active in pro-mia/Ana circles. On his way to destroying another one…

-He forces his girls to be a certain size so that they can remain attractive to him, going as far as monitoring/dictating what they eat and when

-He literally ruins the lives of every female that decides to date him, traps them, and makes it really hard for them to leave or recover. Like, that’s one of the common themes here.

-He thinks people who are suicidal or cut themselves are weak and that it’s their own fault that they’re depressed. When a fan wrote him saying he was suicidal and looked up to Onision and needed advice, Onision pretty much shit all over him

-He feeds his dogs a vegan diet. He also forces his wife to be a vegetarian (tried to force her vegan) because he thinks meat eaters are murders. She says it makes her sick and he says she’s just not committed to the diet and is lazy for not doing as he says

-One time his wife wanted to shout out a “mother of the year” thing to her mom so he retweeted it detailing stuff about how her mom abused her. Yknow, for all his fans to see

-He was a cult leader

-He sends his fanbase after people if they disagree with them and leads full blown witch hunts after those he finds to be in the wrong, like when he went after ShayCarl for having his son circumsized

-He left a turtle in the sun under a container with no holes, resulting I’m it being cooked alive

-He constantly uses his military training as a way to intimidate people (like anyone would ever be, he was kicked out anyway)

-He encourages people to stop taking their prescription meds for their mental illnesses “head drugs” he calls them, because apparently he’s a doctor and if he doesn’t think someone has a problem then it must be true. And taking drugs is selfish you see, because you alter your natural state and it’s not fair to your lover. Logic…

-He used and then turned on “friends” such as Shane Dawson and Cyr, and then went on a smear campaign on his channel, “exposing them” (virtue signals really). He does this to anyone who commits the crime of not licking his ball sack. Like he purposefully misrepresents others so his fan base will attack them, like with Jacquelyn Glenn. (P.S don’t take this to mean I care for any of those people, it’s just that wrong is wrong)

-Forced his ex to miscarry by slamming her into a door. Or possibly faked it for views.

-Did I already say he raped his ex? Within 30 seconds of meeting her? And pressured her into oral every morning. Like she would wake up with his dick in her face and him saying “suk mi?” …Or “pressured her into it” for those who want to play semantics.

That’s all I got for now but it all generally revolves around him being a piece of self righteous shit who berates anyone who disagrees with him and prays on underage girls so he can take advantage of them and use them basically like toys for his amusement. He treats women so horribly it’s insane he still has fans. But he tries to look forever 17 to please the 12 year Olds who don’t know any better so…

https://lolcow.farm/pt/res/29193.html

That’s one of his many threads on lolcow to get you started where people provide screen shots and whatnot of everything. (But admittedly theres a lot of tin foil hay shit going on too)but there’s like 9 threads cause they always max out cause he’s literally always doing something. You’ll be there for days on that alone…

That’s all I got right now off top, the link above to my other post is a lot of this repeated but slightly more in detail, maybe? But I was trying to be brief then too. Impossible to do when you’re speaking of this guy really since there’s just SO FUCKING MUCH. I just hope this helps inform more people about how much of a psychopath this guy is man. And do me a favor and never watch his videos, do your best to not support him and watch on 3rd party sites or with adblock enabled…but even then that’s views he doesn’t need…

And here’s a timeline:
http://www.lifeofonion.com/index.php?title=Timeline

Like I said, starting points are at the top to get you started but literally all you really need is Google. I’d go thro and add more links but …kind of tired now..

So we’re here in Santa Cruz for my birthday, and all we’ve done is eat. I think I might have went a bit overboard, LOOK AT THIS FOOD BABY!!!! ;) Alright…. So there’s a regular baby in there, too! haha That’s right, folks… I’m gonna be a mama! Surprise! @kevinjcastle and I are thrilled, fa sho. For a more detailed story of our baby love journey, check out my personal page: @thebombnoms. #BabyLove

HUGE thank you to @sewtrendyaccessories for the dresses!! I’ve shot in two so far, but I think this one is my favorite of them all. I can’t wait to do more shoots in these beautiful gowns, you guys are amazing! To all my mommy-to-be friends, you should definitely check them out!! ALSO- thank you to @maemephoto for doing my first mommy/daddy photoshoot, and for reminding me I need to breath. haha

anonymous asked:

Hello! Can you please write a one shot where the team is on vacation and they are at a party at Rossi's and they suspect that Reid and the reader like each other so the team drunkenly makes a secret plan to lock them in a room and make them define their relationship?? Eventually one of them admits that they like the other and they kiss and stuff or some other really cute fluffy ending. (btw they are all drunk) Thanks! :) (srry for so much detail btw, its prob confusing)

Hahaha, I can most certainly do this one!  Here is your one-shot, comin’ ‘atcha!


Sitting down with your glass of wine, you cross your legs and scoot your back in to the comfortable upright chair in Rossi’s living area.  There was a fire roaring in the fireplace, and you found the dancing of the shadows mesmerizing.

“So, how did you like dinner?” Rossi comes and sits next to you, smiling at you as he holds his hands out to the flames.

“David Rossi, always fishing for compliments,” you giggle, your face starting to redden from your third glass of wine.

“You can never be too careful with the food you prepare for others,” he says, smiling in your direction as he catches you staring over his head at Spencer.

“Out of all of the men in this world, he was the last one I figured you for,” he states, a sly grin crossing his face.

“I-I-I…uh…have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” you stammer, downing the last of your glass of wine as Rossi gets up and pats your shoulder.

“You know, he stares at you like that, too,” he says, slowly walking off as he continues to chuckle.

Sighing as Spencer looks over at you, you dart your gaze back to the fire, tipping your glass back up before you realize that it is empty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I say we devise a plan,” Garcia lulls.

“Heeeere we go,” Morgan chuckles, rolling his eyes as he looks over at Prentiss, “One of her faaaamous plans.”

“Plan for what?” Hotch asks, walking over to the group after pouring himself another glass of wine.

“For our blind lovesick puppies, boss!” Garcia whispers harshly.

“For once, I agree with the drunken Oracle,” Rossi sasses, eyeing Spencer on the stool over in the corner by the bookshelf.  “The two of them need a serious reality check.”

“So, what’s the plan?” J.J. say, her face starting to glisten as it processes the alcohol in her system.

“Rossi, you got a room we can lock them in?” Garcia slurs, taking another sip of her wine.

“My study is over there, and we could slide something thru the handles,” he says, his voice getting giddier by the second.

“We can use this!” Morgan says, holding up a Swiffer sweeper.

“You mean Morgan’s gonna clean something?” you ask, coming up to the group as the all jump.

“You guys alright?” you ask, your body lightly swaying as Rossi takes your wine glass and pours you another.

“Yeah!” Garcia says a little too cheerfully.

“Have you seen my study?” Rossi says with a grin on his face as he hands you your full wine glass.

“No…?” you draw out, eyeing the team hesitantly.

“Oh, you should,” Spencer says as he stumbles over, slamming his wine glass on the table as he smiles crookedly, “So.  Many.  Books.”

Laughing at his current state, Rossi turns to Spencer and says, “Lets go show her.”

Feeling Rossi’s hand on your lower back as he pushes you into his study, Spencer following closely behind, you hear the team start to chuckle as you turn your head around, seeing Rossi dash out of the room and close the huge double doors behind you both.

“Hey!” you say, kicking of your heels and clumsily running for the door, trying to open it to no avail.

“You two are lovesick for each other,” you hear Garcia slur, “And you’re not comin’ out ‘til you admit it!”

Sighing as you lean your head against the doors, you slowly turn around and set your wine glass down, the room tilting slightly as you grab on to a ledge and try to steady yourself.

Watching Spencer shuffle nervously, you make it to a chair and plop down, your legs outstretched as you close your eyes and sigh.

“A-are you alright?” Spencer stutters sheepishly, appearing at your side as he sits down in the chair beside you.

“Yeah just…a little too much wine, I think,” you slur, taking deep breaths as the room continues to tilt.

As silence dons the room, a huge bang comes at the door.

“Wake up, you two!  Get to talkin’!” Morgan bellows.

Opening one eye and sighing as you look at Spencer, you see his hands curled up in his lap with his head bowed.

“Reid, you alright?” you ask, reaching out for his hands as he curls away from you.

“Spencer, look…I’ll just admit it so we can get out of here.  I think you’re wonderful.  You’re quirky and quiet, intelligent and handsome, and incredibly kind and always very attentive to people’s needs around you.  And I would be incredibly lucky to have someone like you take interest in me…but the truth is that it doesn’t work that way in my world.  And that’s ok.  I’ve accepted that.”

Leaning back as you continue to breathe deep, you feel a warmth cover your hand.

“Are you serious?”

Opening your eyes again, you see a wobbling Spencer crouched down in front of you, his entire being trying ever so hard to keep himself steady as he looks you in your eyes.

“I’m too drunk not to be,” you say, tears welling in your eyes as the burn of embarrassment wafts over your face.

Feeling him teeter, you jump up and reach out for him, the both of you careening to the ground as the two of you begin to laugh.

Grabbing your stomach from laughing so hard, you turn your body towards Spencer who is wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as the hilarity of your drunken state starts to die down.

Watching him turn to meet your body, the two of you stare at each other for quite some time before Spencer slowly brings his hand up to cup your face.

“Why does it not work like that in your wold?” he asks.

“Oh Spencer,” you muse, “Beautiful men like you don’t take in damaged women like me.  I have scars and weird little ticks and a very unhealthy desire for Chinese food…I’m estranged from my family and I have a job that takes me away from a place I consider home for most of the year.  I’m not a catch,” you sigh, rolling over on to your back and staring up at the ceiling, your dress hiking itself up to the middle of your thighs.

“I mean…those things could be beautiful to someone, you know?” Spencer says, his voice cracking at it gets higher.

“But not to men like you,” you sigh, feeling your drunken emotional tears start to well in your eyes.

“Look, we’ve talked about it.  I admitted it, and now we can get out of here,” you say, rolling onto your stomach and raising yourself up on all fours.

“Oh holy god,” you say, swallowing hard and slowly laying yourself back down, not caring that your dress has hiked itself even higher onto your legs.

“You alright?” Spencer inquires, rolling towards you as he rubs your back steadily.

“Just…uh…yikes…” you sigh, swallowing hard again as you close your eyes.

Feeling him leave, you groan as you think about the precarious position the team is going to see you in when they come barreling thru that door.

But instead, you feel someone kneel next to you, helping your torso up off of the floor and perching you back on all fours.

Feeling Spencer’s wobbling body crouch down over yours, his knees on either side of yours as he straddles you, his arms wrapped around your stomach to hold you up, he scoots a trash can under your mouth before moving one of his hands to your stomach.

“Relax,” he murmurs in to your ear, bending down and gathering your hair up as you take a deep breath, heaving your dinner up in to the trash can in front of your face as you feel Spencer blow cool air onto the back of your neck.

“You guys alright in there?” you hear a muffled Rossi ask behind the door.

“Yeah, just fine,” Spencer slurs back to him, his hand rubbing your back as you continue to silently heave into the waste basket.

“Oh….god…” you say between heaves.  “I’m….so sorry…”

“Shhhh,” Spencer coos into your ear, “It’s alright.”

Feeling him blow back onto your neck again, a light groan emanates from your throat.

Hearing him chuckle lightly, he leans in and says, “Does that feel good?”

Feeling your breath hitch before another heave barrels thru your core, you take a deep breath and nod.

“Alright,” he says, gathering your hair once again as you wipe as your mouth and slowly sit back onto your feet.

“Oh god,” you say as you press your head to your hands.

“Here, open up,” Spencer says.

Dropping your jaw, you feel him stick something cottony into your mouth, wiping at the inside of your cheeks and your tongue, swiping the roof of your mouth from back to front before wiping it over your teeth.

Feeling him remove the substance, you close your mouth and open your eyes, watching as the stained part of his shirt that he has untucked flutter back down to his belt line.

Wiping the sweat off of your face and taking a deep breath, you look at him sheepishly and say, “Thank you.”

And as he scoots towards you on his knees, taking your face in his hands and pulling you close, he places a light kiss on the tip of your nose before murmuring lowly, “Anything for the woman I love.”

Caffeine Trip [Chase’s 12 Days of Christmas - Day 11]

Anonymous: i got banned from the cafe you work at because “i assaulted an employee” more like your creepy coworker kept slapping your butt whenever he walked past you, so i tripped him over on the way past and he accidentally broke his nose against the tiled floor


“Cooper, stop!” the barista behind the counter said for the third time that morning as Oliver sat at his usual spot by the window at the back of the cafe. He’d heard her co-worker slap her behind and had looked up to see the events unfold.

“What?” the guy, Cooper, asked. He gave her a leering smile as he passed, his eyes zeroing in on her ass yet again. “That skirt you got on is way too sexy today. Your butt is just begging for the attention.” He winked, making both Oliver and the girl cringe. How could she tolerate that kind of behavior? It was unacceptable at best, sexual harassment at worst.

Oliver knew. Back in his younger days, he’d been accused of it on several occasions. For years, his parents threw money at the problem until they could no longer take it and cut him off. In the last nine years he had gone from a pretentious party boy to the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. With that in mind, he watched the young man continue taunting his co-worker. It made his blood boil, and his hands clenched around his empty coffee cup.

Deciding now would be a good time for a refresher, Oliver got up and headed to the counter, mug in hand. “Excuse me,” he politely called the barista over. “Could you top me up?”

“Of course,” she replied, giving him a warm, bright smile as she grabbed the cup. The nameplate on her shirt read ‘Felicity.’ It was the first time he’d really taken a moment to notice the little things about her. Ever since he first found this place about three blocks from his apartment, her charm and cheerful demeanor kept him coming back week after week.

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anonymous asked:

Hi! Do you still take prompts? I'd love if you would do this one: "I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately." + (Pre-)Klaine. Maybe they're babysitting someone's kid or something? Also, I love your drabbles, they always bring a huge smile to my face :D

I’m glad you like my stories nonnie ^^ Thank you so much for reading !

Blaine has …

No words.

All he can do is blink, as his brain reboots itself.

“I’m … sorry.”

Blaine nods, because of course Kurt is apologetic, and it’s very heartfelt, and of course Blaine accepts his apologies, it’s just …

A lot to take in.

“Blaine?”

Blaine keeps on nodding.

“Blaine, look at me.”

“Hm-hm.” Blink. Blink.

One more just because.

“Blaine, I’m going to slap you but it’s for your own good.”

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The Mercury in Sagiattarius mind soars to heights above all others, exploring and delving into deep questioning through philosophy, science and humanities subjects. There is a wonderful quality of optimism here, ruled by the cosmic pot of Gold that is Jupiter. This mind prefers sweeping shots over zoomed in details, leaving them open to being irresponsible and reckless at times, yet also giving them the potential for boundless levels of wisdom. 

How We Met

I am at Harry Potter world for the first time and to day that I am excited is an understatement. I have been dying to go for fucking forever but now that I am here, I am also by myself. My friends all bailed on me so I came here by myself. The queue isn’t too bad and we are put in groups for the tour.

I don’t pay much attention to the people that I’m with as I am far too absorbed  with the place itself. I feel the magic around me, it is so beautiful. I want to touch everything but I know that I can’t. There are murmers behind me, the voices are Canadian and male. Cute. 

I turn around and I see Shawn Mendes. Ugh. He’s so attractive. He is smiling and talking, he too is a fan of Harry Potter. He smiles at me and I smile back, it’s a little awkward considering that I know who he is but he doesn’t know who I am. I hear footsteps approach me. “Hey. Are you here by yourself?” I recognize the voice as Shawn’s and I turn to face him. 

“Yup. First time here as well.” I laugh a little because I really don’t mind. 

“Why?” His voice is laced with curiosity and a little worry which accentuates his beautiful accent.

I let out a giggle. Damn, this boy is attractive. “well, my friends bailed on me and I really wanted to come so I am here by myself. naturally.”

“I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that you’re a fan of Harry Potter.” He says it with a hint of amusement on his face. 

“Really? What makes you think that?” My voice is sarcastic yet it is laced with humour. 

Soon the tour ends and we continue to talk throughout the tour. The pair of us were in awe of all of the props in front of us. Each one of them were made with attention to detail. Afterwards, we both go to coffee while Shawn’s bodyguard kinda just trails behind, he gives us space but I can still feel his presence lingering. 

Shawn and I talk for ages, I learn a lot about him and sadly that he goes back to Canada tomorrow morning. We exchange numbers and I head back home. Shawn walks me to the train station and I leave him with a parting peck on the cheek. We both blush at that and he promises to keep in touch. I hope he does. He is so genuine and sweet. 

There Are Worse Things I Can Do (Grease AU) Part 2

Summary: Dean and the reader meet during summer vacation and fall in love, only to have to separate at the end. They’re both surprised when they end up at the same school after the reader moves. (Basically Grease but in modern times).

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 1,415

Warnings: None.

Part 1

A/N: Sorry it’s so short! Hope you guys like, feedback is appreciated!

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Death of the Party

Could this day get anymore fucked up? Atria had narrowly made it out alive after her last hit. Things had gone south when she realized that the information given to her had forgotten to include one very crucial detail. The couple she had been sent in to eliminate had a small toddler. Her heart had gone still as silvery hues had laid upon the sleeping babe in the bassinet next to the bed. A clench of her jaw was the only sign of the emotion boiling within her breast.

Two clean shots. That’s all she had fired, but even with the silencer, the child had shifted and awoken. She didn’t have time to remove the slugs, she had to get out of here before the neighbors figured out that something had happened. Swiftly she recovered the spent casings, shoving them into the pocket of her jacket. It was then that she turned to leave, using the pre-planned escape route. Yet something inside her forced her to turn.

Ignoring the sound of her partner yelling in her earpiece to get the fuck out of the house, Atria turned and dug through the mother’s purse. Finally finding the cellphone, she dialed 9-1-1. She left it sitting on the dresser before darting out of the building.

It had been a risky move, Atria would willingly admit that, but in no way could she have left the child there perhaps for days before being found. She did not know the reasoning behind having the parents killed in their sleep, but that was not something she questioned– that wasn’t her job.

So after cleaning herself up, the woman had headed to her favorite haunt– a bar on the other side of town. And there she sat, tipping back shot after shot of whiskey. She was trying to forget the child’s screams as well as the screams that were burned into her brain from the past.

Glancing to the side, Atria noticed someone watching her. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” she snapped, slapping the bar for the bar tender to pour another shot.

116: One and Done

This is pretty long, but I’m leaving it all in. If you want to skip to the end, I will save you the trouble: I am done with this show. I am not coming back for Season 2.

Boy, do I wish I felt differently. Boy, do I wish this show was good. Boy, did I try to like it. But, alas, it’s not to be.

If I lower my expectations to a Lifetime movie, I can enjoy this episode. Thing is, I don’t watch Lifetime movies. And I don’t watch them for a reason. I shouldn’t have to lower my expectations that far to enjoy something, anything, but especially a story I love so much.


I’m going to try and be fair here because I do see what they were trying to get across.  I really do. I’ve read all the good reviews and even posted some. My reaction was still my reaction.

The Good

Anna Foerster’s masterful direction. She is brilliant. She can make a heard of coos look like Shakespeare. Every shot is noticeable for its beautiful composition and attention to detail. Scotland has never looked more beautiful than through her lens.


The escape. Except for Claire standing in the road in Dolce & Gabanna pants and no discernable breast support, it was fantastic. Rupert’s line about the tea was great. This is where Ron Moore and Ira Behr are at their best. Stay in this zone guys.


The continued threat to Claire. I’ve got to hand it to them. They did improve the text by explaining that Jamie continually submits to keep BJR distracted and not send troops after Claire. I have heard in forums people trash Jamie for not just breaking BJR’s neck as soon as Claire leaves and they did a great job clarifying why he could not do that.


Jamie’s return and smile. Dammitt Heughan! You are the only reason to watch this show. My only moment of happiness in this show was that brief smile at the end. 


The first rape scene. It’s hard to say I liked it, but it was masterfully done by the actors. The thing I remember most was Jack making Jamie spread his legs slowly and the shame on Jamie’s face. The slowness and the gentleness were excruciating to watch. Sam Heughan is incredible.

Sam Heughan. Even when I thought the scene was preposterous, he was great in it. He moved me emotionally every time.

The Bad Judgment Overall

Everything I dislike about this episode and this season comes down to bad judgement – specifically, Ron Moore’s bad judgement. He doesn’t seem to understand the balance required to make this story coherent and get the point across: great love overcoming great evil. 


He’s so enamored with rape and violence that he didn’t get that he was supposed to emphasize the bravery and dignity of Jamie and Claire, the power of their love, and their recovery together. This is Claire’s shining moment and he blew it.


You don’t have to adapt everything word for word, but you should get the main point right in one way or another and they didn’t even try, from what I saw.
Ron likes to gorge himself on the less important things while shortchanging the essence of the story.

Again and again, he doesn’t know where to stop to make the point and it killed the story and the show. Some prime examples:

  • Episode 6 (Ira), 30 minutes of invented soliloquies and amputations, but no time to show Jamie staring Black Jack down in front of the crowd after the flogging, which is what really set Jack’s pursuit of Jamie in motion.
  • Episode 8 (Moore), some Frank OK, but 40 minutes?! No time to show Jamie and Claire falling in love and happy, which sets the relationship for the rest of the book.
  • Episode 11 (Moore edited), OK a witch trial, but 40 minutes?! And then the scene at the stones was rushed and confusing. People still don’t know why she chose him based on the show alone.


So here we are, at episode 16 (Ira and Moore), two rape scenes after a sexual assault in the last episode. That was one too many. There was no time made for the healing, the kindness, the gentleness, and the compassion that define this part of the book and are the essence of Jamie and Clare … and, you know, that pesky little thing like the whole point of the story.


The lack of time argument is crap. You make time for what matters, but you have to know what matters. I don’t think Ron does and so he has twisted a painful but beautiful part of Outlander into torture porn for reasons known only to him. I’ve heard him say in interviews that sexual violence was so graphic because he had to get to “the truth” of the story. That’s funny because I wasn’t aware that the truth of story was brutal rapes. 


The truth of this story is the power of selfless, unconditional love to heal anything and how much strength it takes on both their parts. What mattered to him was violent rape. Not love. Not recovery. Not the triumph of the human spirit. And he couldn’t be more wrong.


This episode was full of bad judgement calls that I find unforgivable. 

Abusing the Abused With Emotional Blackmail

In the book, this is Claire’s finest hour. Claire is the embodiment of love as described in 1 Corinthians 13. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love does not shove a trauma survivor around and yell in his face to force a confession for purely selfish reasons. It might be understandable given how dire the situation is. I might do it were I in her shoes. The real Claire did NOT. 


In the book, Claire never asked him anything about what happened. She doesn’t need to. She knows. They all know. She allows him to speak because he needs to and listens with love – even though she really doesn’t want to hear it.

  • It’s what makes her great.
  • It’s what shows you her strength.
  • It’s what maker her a hero. Some heroes have capes. Claire wears the mantle of selfless compassion and unconditional love.
  • It’s what makes you forgive her for any character flaw she has or will have in the future.

In the show, she seems to be possessed by the anti-Claire who’s using her mouth like a sock puppet.


At the beginning, Jamie starts to talk about his experience twice:

  • The first time, she gets uncomfortable and changes the subject.
  • The second time, she says nothing, but it’s clear she doesn’t want to hear it and was about to change the subject.

She then spends the rest of the episode angry that he won’t talk and resentful that he won’t heal fast enough. They wrote her dumb enough and heartless enough to ask Murtaugh why Jamie wants to kill himself and he actually has to explain to her what she already knows. Then, she still refuses to understand.

Wow. Don’t bowl me over with her loving kindness and intelligence. Please. It’s too much. 


This is not Claire. This is a selfish woman obsessed with her own needs who needs a lesson in love and compassion from Murtaugh. Murtaugh!!


In the climactic scene, she shames Jamie into confessing by yelling at him and shoving him around. So, let’s assess: she shuts him down when he tries to talk at the beginning and then bitch-slaps him into a confession at the end. Pick a lane lady! 


This scene is not inspired by love and not because she’s strong. She’s letting her fear take over and making her desperation more important than Jamie. It’s selfish and cruel. She’s not going to bat for him, she’s beating him up and he has been beaten up enough – on her behalf. 


What was this supposed to be? An episode of Scared Straight?


Then, she threatens to kill herself with him if he doesn’t snap out of it. That’s emotional blackmail and it never healed anyone. It’s too selfish and manipulative to have any healing power. 

  • You promised me.
  • You have to be there for me.
  • You are the only thing that makes sense to me.
  • If I kill myself, it’s your fault.

It’s not about you Claire! Book Claire knows this and never pulls this crap on Jamie. 


I hope none of you are never hurt badly enough to need a book Claire and get a TV Claire instead. I have and I did and I don’t talk to those people anymore. 


This is so far beneath Claire and the spirit of the story that I can’t forgive it and I can’t put the book down. The show gave us the opposite of the book. The OPPOSITE.

Adjustments for the constraints of the visual medium and time is one thing and understandable but filming the exact OPPOSITE of the character and the relationship is unforgivable. 


I am used to them destroying Jamie’s character. There are so many bits in this episode that are the antithesis of the King of Men, but I’m going to whistle right past them because I’m used to it. Why even bother? 


Destroying Claire’s character this way stunned me. The writers pretty much removed her kindness and compassion and loving gentleness all season long. I thought it would come back here. I thought maybe they were saving it all up but that was giving them too much credit.

Honestly, this is the worst part of the episode for me. This healing is what makes the whole book worth reading. It’s the payoff for all the pain. It’s Claire’s ascent into true power and heroism …. And they made her a scared, angry, selfish bitch. Unbelievable.


(For those of you who think the violence was justified because of the conjuring incident, you need to go read this chapter again. Never does she yell at him and demand a confession. Never does she mistreat him and think of herself first. Even in the guise of Black Jack, she is gentle with him. He attacks her and then we don’t really know what happened because Claire doesn’t really know what happened. The violence is all self-defense and induced by opium.)

Jamie “Rousing”

This whole sequence was so wrong and so preposterous that it didn’t move me emotionally. They were trying to capture Jamie telling Claire that the worst part of the abuse (and what’s making him want to die) is that it:

  • Aroused him to the point of erection (and possibly orgasm)
  • Put her in his mind the whole time while he was doing it so that he can’t separate sex with her from rape by BJR

Jamie should have told this to Claire with quick flashes back. The whole scene should not have been filmed. It was a gratuitous time waster. Again, bad judgement. What matters here, really? Jamie’s devastation and shame. 


We should hear him tell it so we can see that and feel that. To me, Sam is the best actor on the show. He would have knocked this out of the park. What did we gain by seeing this full-on except more horrendous images we can’t erase?

The following list describes the parts would have been horrendous if it wasn’t for the fact that they made no sense whatsoever


Jamie hallucinating it was Clare. Why on earth would he ever do that? Do torture victims sometimes hallucinate that their spouses are doing it instead of their abuser? Are we supposed to assume that Randall drugged him? This is so random that it lost all its power. 


Randall liking that Jamie thought it was Claire and using it. Randall wants to break Jamie by using his love for Claire against him, not use it to get laid. He would be angry that Jamie thought he was screwing Claire. He wants Jamie to know that he, BJR, is arousing him and comparing it with Claire just to torture him. Randall didn’t want to see Jamie enjoy it. That’s not what a sadist does.


Jamie confusing anal penetration with sex with Claire. Since when does anal penetration feel anything like sex with a woman? I don’t remember Claire messing around with his anus. And even so, there is no way to confuse the two sensations no matter how delirious you are.


Jamie being aroused by anal rape. Excuse me. This is not even PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. Anal sex hurts at first. Even between consenting adults who are doing it for … well, an attempt at pleasure. We just saw the violent anal rape of a virgin. They showed the table shaking and how terribly painful it was. Jamie’s anus was brutalized and bleeding. Any kind of penetration after that would be very painful – lube or no lube. 


There is NO WAY a man recovering from an anal rape that brutal - especially when he was a virgin in that respect – would feel pleasure – even if he was masturbating. That pain of the penetration would take him right out of it. And to add stoopid to stupid, he tells Claire that he responded because it felt so good to not be in pain. This is when the show officially jumped the shark.

 
Yes, men sexually abused are often aroused by forced genital stimulation by hand or by mouth. Blood rushes to an area full of nerve endings and the response is purely physical. There is no shame in it; it happens to women too. Nerve endings are nerve endings and the body is built to respond in some way when that area is stimulated; it can’t be helped. 


Oral or manual stimulation is the only believable way for Jamie to have felt pure pleasure from what he could possibly think of as his wife (even though that angle makes no sense as I described above). To make matters worse, they showed him not responding to forced genital stimulation earlier. Are they trying to make him seem bisexual? WTF?!


And don’t give me delirious, nobody is that delirious without a hallucinogen or a roofie.


[NOTE: While working on this blog, I have since learned that some people actually found this arousing. Not perverts; regular fans who post normally cogent responses. I am shocked. However, it pointed out to me just how badly they handled this scene and just how important it was to get it right. They confused when they should have clarified. ]

Jamie’s Attempted Suicide

Jamie would never attempt to kill himself. He says so more than once that it’s a mortal sin and BJR “damned him in life and would not do so in Heaven.” Jamie wastes away and wants to die, but he would not take action to kill himself. 

Healing In No Time

I’ve already mentioned that they didn’t give enough time for healing and the horror of Claire’s emotional blackmail and abuse. The worst part of it was that it worked – instantly. Jamie suddenly snaps out of it. A slap fight and some emotional blackmail and he’s healed. Just like that. Wow.

If only I had had counselors bitch-slap and threaten me, I would have gotten over my own abuse so much faster! Ron should write a book and go on Oprah Super Soul Sunday! 

The Ever So Funny Sexual Assault

Angus sexually assaulting Claire when saying goodbye while everyone stands around and laughs.
http://outlanderitaly.tumblr.com/post/120282986556/may-i-kiss-ye-farewell

Was that supposed to be funny? Stop trying to be funny. You suck at it. In such a dark episode about sexual abuse, they have Angus sexually violate Claire and it’s all supposed to be in good fun? 


Make a joke about literally ANYTHING ELSE! You tone-deaf asshats!


Could their judgement be any worse? Well, these are the people who thought it was OK to have Jamie grab the boob of a teenage girl in the same episode where he beats his wife, so I shouldn’t be surprised.


Here’s a tip: Stop pretending this is a feminist show. You have no idea what it means.

Making It An Ensemble

The biggest mistake of the whole season but especially this episode. Trying to make what belongs only to Jamie and Claire a group effort. It is not. And it steals even more time just to give the McKenzies something to do.


Even worse, all that flashing back and forth between characters makes Jamie a non-entity and shows tremendous disrespect to the survivor in the other room. Instead of Jamie’s dark night of the soul, we see all the people who supposedly love him complaining about why he won’t heal fast enough. Wow!


And there seems to be a never-ending stream of people lecturing Jamie that he’s wrong to feel what he feels and what he should be doing to get better for other people’s sake. They all seem to have gone to the Claire school of healing: berate the victim till he snaps out of it.


This material is so far beyond the ken of Mr. Moore and Mr. Behr that it’s stunning.

The “Happy” Ending

What was that – 3 minutes? They talk about Culloden on the boat. Culloden!! I heard Ron say in an interview that the healing was done and it was time to move on. No Ron, you just don’t care. Otherwise, you would know the job wasn’t even close to being done and it’s not the time to talk politics.


Jamie and Claire are obviously still fractured and disjointed on the boat. They have no ease with each other. Claire is so unsure of them and him that she’s terrified to tell him she’s pregnant. 

  • In the book, this is joyful and loving and a rebirth for the two of them.
  • In the show, it’s a fragmented, fearful mess.

Another OPPOSITE for your list if you’re keeping score.

The Final Judgement

What it comes down to is this:

  • Do the bright spots overcome the egregious errors?
  • Does Sam Heughan working his magic make up for what they’ve done (and will continue to do) to Jamie’s character?
  • Do those pangs I have when they come close make it worth all the rest?

NO.

All season, there were only two difficult scenes they did right: the wedding and the beating. In fact, they improved on the book in both. For me, two is not enough. When it comes to what really matters – the stones, Lallybroch, Wentworth, and the abbey – their judgement is just too bad to trust. And I can’t whistle past it and pretend it’s okay.

I gave them 16 hours to prove themselves and what they proved is they don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.

I have read reviews hoping next season will be better regarding Jamie and Claire. It won’t be. Ron has already said there will be more Frank in Season 2 just because he likes having Tobias on the show. When I’m right, I’m right. 


Diana Gabaldon may trust them with the story, I don’t and I’m done.

THE INKTASTIC SPRINKLER

Yo, do you see this thing? This thing right here?!

this is the SPRINKLER, baby!

It ain’t here to water your lawns, nor is it gonna put out any fires, nah, this beautiful little machine is  your new best friend in turf inking.

Don’t believe me? Well are you sitting comfortably because I’m about to learn you a thing or two!

You ever thought your team could use another  member? Well look no further because your Sprinkler is the best 5th team mate you could ever ask for! Chuck that sucker and watch it do its job! What’s that job? It inks, it inks everything within its radius.

It’s so good at what it does it deserves a promotion! 

As if Sprinklers weren’t already the greatest thing since sliced bread there’s even more! 

Wanna know what else?

Come real close, it’s top secret.

You ready for this?

They stick to virtually everything.

You heard me right!

Chuck up at a wall, as high or as low as you want. Chuck them at the ceiling if you can– they WILL stick

Ink from heaven, baby!

While the Sprinkler might be a better team mate than most squids out there, you gotta know what you’re doing with it. Treat it with knowledge and respect, ya hear?

Here’s some tips on how to work for your Sprinkler so it will work for you

  • You can only have out one at a time

The Sprinkler is one in a million so if you try to use one while you’ve already got one deployed, the first one’ll vamoose. Be absolutely sure that your first one has done its job before calling out the second soldier. Is the first one still covering turf and getting you some valuable points toward your Special? Maybe wait a little bit.

  • It makes a fantastic distraction

Nobody wants their turf inked, not in any mode so if you send this baby out, more than likely it’s gonna get targeted by the enemy. Unfortunately for them though they gotta show themselves and use their ink to destroy it, leaving them potentially vulnerable for you to swoop in for an easy splat!

  • It can be used for both offense and defense

The versatility of this puppy is second to none! Hurl it in front of yourself to get a quick shield up so you can make a quick escape! Watch out though, it’s not as tall as a Beacon so a good shot who aims a little high will make quick work of you if you’re not fast.

Not only that but try throwing it behind you opponents to cut off their escape or if not even that, it’ll distract them just for the second you and your team need to gain the ground needed to win the skirmish.

  • throw it up way high!

Channel your inner American Footballer or Olympic Shotputter and throw that thing as high up onto a wall as you possibly can. In some areas of the game you can chuck it so high that most rollers and shooters will struggle for days to reach it.


These things have helped me cover so much turf and helped me win many a ranked battle, particularly in Splat Zones– they’ve also used a lot of my ink to.

I don’t know the details completely but I’m pretty sure Sprinklers are undoubtedly the most ink hungry sub-weapon in the game. Maybe Splash Walls beat them out but I don’t know. Watch your ink gauge carefully when you use them because chances are you’ll only be able to squeeze out a few shots before you’re left completely helpless.

But this much power and this much utility is worth that level of responsibility! Agree? Disagree? Am I a total idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about? I’d love to here what all you kids and squids at home think about Sprinklers

((a little something fun I wrote based on @skyplayssplatoon‘s totally stellar essay on Beacons. Although I had fun acting like an obnoxious, pretentious commercial salesman type about it))