here you little shits

anonymous asked:

Undertale Papyrus and Underfell Papyrus tickling their Sans, only to figure out that they laugh like Blueberry.

Prompt from anonymous: undertale Papyrus and underfell Papyrus tickling their sans, only to figure out that they laugh like blueberry.

(A/N: Quick warning, this fic contains some swearing. Also, I’m gonna refer to underfell sans as Red, and underfell Papyrus as Pap, just so it doesn’t get confusing. Don’t be shy to send a prompt, and here we go!)
———————————–
“YOU CAN’T RUN FROM ME, SANS!”
“RED YOU LITTLE SHIT! GET BACK HERE!”

Loud crashes and bangs could be heard as the two Sanses raced through the house, their respective Papyruses not far behind.

“shiiiit. what the hell are we supposed to do now?!”

Red yelled frantically at his counterpart, as the two of them sped hastily down the corridor that lead to the bedrooms.

“i dunno! uhhh…. oh! in here! quickly!”

Sans yelled, before grabbing Red by the arm and dragging him into Papyrus’ bedroom and diving into the space between the race car bed and the wall. They hushed their breathing, listening for the other skeletons footsteps.

They didn’t have to listen for long.

“FOUND YOU!”

“COME HERE!”

Both Sanses were immediately dragged from their hiding spot, with Sans being carefully tossed onto the bed, while Red was significantly less carefully thrown onto the ground at the foot of the bed.

“b-boss, cmon, th-there’s really no need for this…”

“AH, BUT THERE IS BROTHER! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO LITTLE SHITS WHO TELL TOO MANY PUNS!”

And Pap’s wiggling fingers descended on Red’s
ribcage.

“papyrus, i swear to god if you so much as touch me i’ll-”

Sans was cut of as Papyrus scribbled his fingers behind the smaller skeletons knees.

“nahahahahohoho! pahahahapyruhuhuhuhs!”

“bohohohoss nahahohoho!”

“AWW! TICKLE TICKLE SANS! WHAT A TICKLISH LITTLE BABY BONES!”

“STILL TICKLISH RED? HOW PATHETIC! I CAN’T BELIE-”

Pap’s teasing was cut of by a simultaneous noise that erupted from both victims.
It was certainly a laugh, but…
This laugh was quite…familiar…

“m-mwehehehehe! b-boss! stahahahp! mweheheheh!”

“pahahpyruhuhs! stahahp thahahaht thihihis sehehcohohond! mwehehehehe! mwehehe-st-stop!”

In a flash, both Sanses were on the other side of the room, panting and letting residual giggles escape them. The taller skeletons looked on in shock, before bursting into amused laughter.

“NYEHEHEH! RED OHOHOH MY GOD! YOU LAUGH LIKE THAT STUPID ORANGE TWITS BROTHER!”

“THE BLUEBERRY, THATS RIGHT! WOW SANS! I HAD NO IDEA YOU LAUGHED LIKE THAT!”

“boss for fuck’s sake! this would have happened if y'hadn’t tickled me in the first place ya twit! I’m outta here. ya coming, sans?”

The other skeleton, who’s face had turned a rather flattering shade of baby blue nodded, swiftly exiting the room with the other, and leaving two cackling Papyruses in their wake.

tumblr user in 2013 teaching kindergartners

LISTEN UP YOU LIL MOTHERFUCKERS… YOU SEE THIS BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SHIT HERE? THAT’S THE LETTER A. THIS PIECE OF SHIT LETTER CAN BE COMBINED WITH OTHER LETTERS TO MAKE LITTLE DROPS OF HEAVEN CALLED WORDS! HOLD ON TO YOUR ASSES BECAUSE WHAT COMES NEXT MIGHT MAKE YOU SHIT YOURSELF, CAUSE A IS FOR MOTHERFUCKING APPLE, DOUCHEBAGS

Now listen here you little shit one tiny kudos does not fully express the how I feel when I read a good fanfic and I am no where near being able to express in words the shear heartbreak or pure happiness that these authors can make me feel so let me send another fucking kudos

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

I am really annoyed with the idea that Slytherins are always cool, calm and unemotional. Most of the Slytherins we see are very emotional, and make a lot of important decisions based on strong emotion, and even foil themselves because they get too emotional. They’ll absolutely tear themselves apart for whatever they love, whether that’s a person or power. You have to feel strongly about something to be truly ambitious.

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THE EXAMPLES. Someone insulted you/your family/someone you care about? Forget the snide comebacks, it’s time to SCREAM, YELL, CURSE THEM WITH BOILS. Family doesn’t approve of your boyfriend? ELOPE, it doesn’t matter whether this turns out to be a terrible decision. Boy Who Lived refuses to be your friend? OBSESS OVER HIM FOR THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS. Telepathic Dark Lord is threatening your son/childhood friend? Lie on the spot AND RISK A TORTUROUS DEATH TO DEFY HIM. Dark Lord is threatening your house elf? DRINK POISON AND THROW YOURSELF INTO A PIT OF ZOMBIES.

Slytherin is the House of cunning, not the House of rational decision-making??

Now listen here you little piece of shit.
This fanfic was so frigging amazing and adorable and worthy of thirty-hundred-millions of kudos! One teeny tiny kudos doesn’t express how wonderful(in many occasions how heart broken) I was after reading the fanfic! So let me give the awesome author another fidgity fudge kudos

“I’ll never lie to you about anything.”

“I might lie to you!”

Tom Holland Laughing

- Ignis, can you… sense light?
- To a degree, yes.
- So when dawn breaks, you’ll know it.
- I should.
- Good to know.

instead of getting nicky to text neil incessantly, andrew figures the best way to get neil accustomed to his phone is to sext him. 

He’s – not wrong.

Let me tell you a thing or two about tattooed volleyball boys.

Inspired by this gem of a fic by saigennaku

Bonus:

I’ll just… see myself out then.

What Your Overwatch Main Say About You
  • Genji: I need healing [distance mercy screaming]
  • McCree: Ship McHanzo, or you love spaghetti westerns
  • Pharah: You love pharmercy or the its raining justice vine on a loop for 12 hours
  • Reaper: You live in a hot topic
  • Soldier 76: You're new here
  • Sombra: You have an undercut and may be a little shit
  • Tracer: Gay. sorry the straights, you can't main her
  • Bastion: Why are you like this. too strong for this world
  • Hanzo: You can never have too many snipers. even 6 hanzos.
  • Junkrat: You're a trash boy or you love dirty boys
  • Mei: Evil incarnate. no exceptions
  • Torbjorn: You want the world to hate you
  • Widowmaker: 46 shots, one kill
  • D.Va: Gamer aesthetic [rage gamer, probably], or pastel
  • Reinhardt: Battle grandpa
  • Roadhog: The team needed a tank. alternatively, you nasty fucker
  • Winston: Probably a cryptid. Do you exist? Probably not
  • Zarya: Gay. thats it
  • Ana: Friendly fire enabled
  • Lucio: Pure, doing the lords work
  • Mercy: You love suffering
  • Symmetra: You would probably let her step on you
  • Zenyatta: Trying your best
  • Alya: so do you like Marinette? more than a friend?
  • Adrien: well... idk
  • Alya: listen here you little shit
  • Alya: Marinette is as hot as a summer day in Arizona
  • Alya: and she's as amazing as the most amazing thing you can think of, times one hundred
  • Alya: why don't you just date her?
  • Adrien: why don't YOU just date her?
  • Alya:
  • Alya: maybe I will