here you go you egg

Ar lasa mala revas. You are free. 

ಥ╭╮ಥ

10

Well, I just killed off Daisuga in this AU…

Atlantis - Haikyuu AU SCENE 1

Just Ask - Part 2

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” You think, after being alive for this long and leading an team of superheroes, Steve Rogers would’ve perfected his communication skills, but apparently, when it comes to women, he just likes to assume, and that is never a good thing.

A/N: Wow, I’m literally overwhelmed with the amount of positive response I got for the fist chapter, thank you guys so much for commenting/liking/reblogging!

Thank you @nathalieruaudel for letting me use you as the best friend, I love you

Part 1

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a life with you || tyler posey (posey week)

author: @broodybell
pairing: tyler x reader
word count: 2,228

warnings: nsfw; kissing, teasing, swearing, etc. 

authors note: this is the start of lauphiesposeyweek or poseyweek2k17 so here you go @thelittlestkitsune, happy birthday egg! i hope you have the best birthday you could possibly imagine, you really deserve the best. i love you unconditionally!!

summary: it’s lau’s birthday and tyler surprises her with a special date. 


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Playing Wrong Pt.3

Pairing: You x Bang Yongguk

Genres: Angst with a little swearing and all the mafia stuff, mention of Smut

Word Count: 2,562

Short Summary: Bang Yongguk is a mysterious character to you and will forever be. While you are having breakfast, he is busy fucking a girl an floor over you. After breakfast he sends two of his men to drive to your apparent with you, where you died multiple deaths.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17E | 18E | 19E 

Originally posted by bapoverflowers

There wasn’t much you could do now anyways and the though of a shower wasn’t completely unpleasant to you. You entered the bathroom once again,  this time looking around a little. A giant shower, a medium sized whirlpool, a really big mirror, two washbasins and of course a toilet. What surprised you even more were the fragrance sticks. You certainly didn’t expect the bathroom of a mafia leader to smell like a mix of vanilla and fruit, but you certainly didn’t complain. The scent lingering in the air had something oddly comforting and for the first time you felt safe in a house full of mafia. You wanted to strip of your clothes, but hesitated, when the thought came back to your head, that technically everyone could walk in. You quickly locked the door and stripped of your clothes. Only when you were completely naked, you noticed something was missing. Yongguk gave you his clothes for afterwards, but he didn’t gave you shower gel or shampoo. You opened the shelfs of the small drawer, only finding condom boxes. Great. But you were lucky in the last shelf, finding at least shower gel. Of course it was not for woman and afterwards you would smell like Yongguk, but it was better than nothing. You hoped your boyfriend used his brain and did place beauty products in you apartment and not only clothes or you would definitely have a problem. You adjusted the water temperature for your liking before stepping inside. The shower was really nice and for once you didn’t thought about the situation you were currently in. Living with six mafia killers in the same house and in one month your boyfriend would come with his gang and kill Yongguk and most likely the rest of them. You stood in the shower a little longer, enjoying the feeling of the water running down your skin, before you stepped out and wrapped a towel around you. Yongguk wasn’t lying, his clothes really fitted you. Well depends how you describe fit. They still were too big for you, but better than nothing. You quickly made yourself a ponytail and unlocked the door again.

You thought it would be around morning time, since your stomach was slowly grumbling. You spotted a clock on Yongguks nightstand and you checked the time. 6:21. Yep, you definitely needed breakfast, but where to go? You remembered Yongguk telling you, that he is in his office and you should come if you needed something. You silently stepped outside, not wanting to disturb anyone and stepped down the stairs. Since you weren’t in a hurry you could take a better look at your surroundings. There were a lot of paintings and even if you didn’t know much about paintings, basically nothing, you could say that they were really expensive. You stopped in your tracks in front Yongguks door, hearing kissing noises and panting from the inside. What the fuck was going on in there? You wanted to turn around and leave, but your hunger was bigger than the fear of what you are going to walk in. You knocked and opened the door, seeing Yongguk on a chair in the room, making out with a girl in his lap, straddling him. You could tell Yongguk was enjoying himself, since his dick was begging to break free in his dress pants. You just stood there, not knowing what do do, until Yongguk lifted his head up. 

„What do you need, Y/N?“ 

„I-I‘m hungry.“ 

The girl in his lap noticed you now, visibly growing uncomfortable with the situation she was in. She was only in lingerie, while you stood there in Yongguks clothes. 

„Ah, sure. Go down the stairs, turn left and walk forward until you are in the dining hall. Knock on the door there. One of the cooks will be there. Just tell him what you want and he will do it.“ 

„Thanks.“ 

You left as quickly as possible, the scene repeating over and over in your head. How could Yongguk talk to you like that and why did he look so unbothered by the girl? Okay, he was hard, but all the moaning came from her. At least Yongguks way description was right and you were in the dining hall, knocking on the door as he told you. A really small guy, that obviously not only enjoyed cooking his food, but also eating it, opened up. 

„Hello. What can I do for you?“ 

„Yongguk said I should come here and tell you what I want to eat.“ The cook just nodded. „Can you do eggs?“

„Sure. Sit down I’ll bring them to you, when they are done.“ 

„Thank you.“ You sat down at the gigantic wooden table and waited, your thoughts drifting away. 

„Here you go.“, the cook said, placing the eggs before you. „Should I call you a taxi or something?“, he asked and you looked at him confused. „Why?“ The cook cleared his throat. „You are one of Yongguks girls, right?“ 

„Whatever you mean with ‚one of of Yongguks girls’, no I’m not. I’m being kept here, because I walked into a deal of them.“ 

„I’m sorry. For both.“ The cook quickly left again and you were alone, but not for long. You got joined by one of Yongguks men. He had blonde hair, a little shorter than Yongguk and on his wrist is a ‚HOLD‘ tattoo. „Good morning, Y/N.“, he greeted you, his voice sounding really happy and cheerful. 

„Good morning-“ 

„Daehyun. My name is Daehyun.“ 

You smiled at him. „Good morning, Daehyun.“ 

Daehyun also knocked on the door and ordered the usual, the cook immediately disappearing and he sat down next to you. You tried to hide your thoughts, but there was no way. 

„Y/N, I can see you are extremely uncomfortable and I probably would feel the same, if I would be in the situation you are in curently, but I promise you, that we are really nice guys and won’t hurt you.“ 

„It’s not even that.“, you answered, picking around in your food. 

„What is it then?“ Daehyun was a master in facial expressions, he really looked shocked and surprised. 

„Yongguk makes out with a girl in his office, his bathroom is full of condoms and the cook thought I am ‚one of Yongguks girls‘.“ 

Daehyun nodded understanding. „That’s one way of our boss to release stress.“

„That’s disgusting.“ Of course, because you had literally no luck, Yongguk walked in. „I heard I’m disgusting.“ You just wanted to disappear somehow, but you weren’t a magician, so you just stared down at your eggs and hoped Yongguk would go away, but that wasn’t the case. Yongguk took the place across from you. 

„Is it good?“, he asked and you just nodded. „Daehyun-ah. You and Jongup-ah drive later with Y/N to her place to get her stuff.“, Yongguk commanded. „Yes, boss.“ Yongguk stood up again, leaving the two of you alone. 

„He already had breakfast.“, you mumbled a little too loud, so that Daehyun heard you and he simply laughed at your comment. „Cmon. Finish up.“ You looked at your plate, seeing still a bit food being left and over at his plate, all pancakes away. Either he was really hungry or he could eat for two. Feeling pressured, you quickly ate the rest of your eggs and the small guy appeared again and you heard him speak for the first time. 

„The boss told me I should drive with you and Y/N to her apartment.“ At least you knew now all their names. Yongguk, Himchan, Daehyun, Youngjae, Jongup and Junhong. „Then let’s get going.“, Daehyun stated and got up and you followed them. The way you walked was familiar to you, since it was the same way you got in here, but still there were too many doors to at least find a little orientation. Entering the big car park you were surprised again. How many times do they want to surprise you? 3 big black vans, 6 sport cars and 6 more „normal“ cars, if you could call it normal. You didn’t even want to know how much money was standing around here. 

„Which one?“, Jongup asked. 

„The black Mercedes, I would say.“ Jongup went to a safe, unlocking it and took the key out, taking place in the drivers seat, while Daehyun and you sat down in the back of the car. Jongup drove out of the parking lot and out in the daylight. You hoped you can see a little of the mansion this time, but all the windows were black, so your hopes where shattered. You just sat back and tried to be relaxed somehow. Soon you would be in your extra rented apartment and would see the work of your boyfriend. You really missed him and most likely visiting that place would only make it worse. In your thoughts you remembered, you didn’t had the address of your apartment, neither had it Jongup. Shit. You plan will fail and they will most likely kill you. You nudged Daehyun and he turned his head, looking at you expectingly. 

„Does Jongup even know were to drive?“ 

„Yes, he knows. Youngjae told him.“ 

„Ah.“, you nodded and leaned back again, being more panicked than before. Somehow he found out where you lived, what if he found out about your background? Why you are really here and what your boyfriend plans? It was not even a full day, but you are certain the mission would fail. It’s impossible to get close to Yongguk. He isn’t exactly nice to you, but also not intimidating. He is a mix you can’t describe. After nearly an hour ride Jongup stops the car in front of an old apartment complex. 

„That’s where you live?“, Daehyun asked, strangely looking at you. 

„Well, certainly when you jut moved here you can’t live in a mansion with 15 cars unless you work for the mafia.“, you spat back, not really knowing how you suddenly got so confident. Maybe you just wanted to defend the choice of your boyfriend. 

„Sorry.“, Daehyun answered, opening the door to get out and at you followed him. The next hurdle. You had no key. You were about to die for a second time, when Jongup got a key out of his pocket and opened the door. What. The. Fuck. Jongup proceeded to walk and you followed him, Daehyun behind you. On the third floor he stopped, opening the door on the right and entering it. You wanted to follow him, but Daehyun held you back. 

„Wait.“, he said with a stern voice, no hint of the nice and fluffy boy you talked to this morning. 

„Clear!“, Jongup screamed from inside and Daehyun gave you a nod, showing you to go inside. Inside it was a little more modern than on the outside. On your right was a really small kitchen with a table and a chair and a small living room. On your left a small bathroom and a bedroom with a closet. 

„Do you have a suitcase or something?“, Daehyun asked, leaving you scared again. What if your boyfriend hasn’t planned this? In that moment you caught a glimpse of something suitcase looking in your bedroom. 

„Yes. Bedroom.“, you answered a little too fast, but both of them didn’t notice it. They sat down on your bed, watching you pack your stuff. And your boyfriend didn’t mess up. He put in all your favorite clothes and shoes, something more elegant, but also outfits for you to laze around. The first two suitcases where soon filled and the boys gave each other looks, playing rock paper scissors on who had to carry all this. Yes, in the mafia you play rock paper scissors. 

„Guys, I still need to go to the bathroom and pack my stuff there.“ Jongup let his head drop. „Sure.“ He thought you couldn’t hear him anymore, when you left the room, but you could. „Next time I hope the boss sends someone else.“ The bathroom was quicker for you to finish and you smiled to yourself, when you noticed certain bottles. Your boyfriend placed your favorite shampoo, shower gel, soap and so on in your bathroom. You quickly stuffed it into a bag and made your way back into the bedroom. 

„I’m finished.“ Both of them got up, taking one suitcase and walking down the stairs. You just stood there, not knowing if you should follow or not, but your question was soon answered when Jongup came upstairs again and locked the door. „Come on. We don’t want to make the boss wait.“ You followed him downstairs and handed your bed to the on the trunk waiting Daehyun. You got into your seat and sighed. 

„Something wrong?“, Daehyun asked, who was now sitting next to you again.

„Just tired from packing.“, you lied. You couldn’t tell him you were relieved, that your boyfriend did everything right. You remember nothing from the car ride, since you fell asleep. You only woke up by Daehyun poking your shoulder. „Y/N, we are here. Get up.“ You yawned and stretched the best you could inside the car and got out, walking with Daehyun again through the gray hallways, while Jongup was somewhere behind you with your suitcases. 

„I go to the boss and tell him we are back. You go to your room and wait for Jongup-ah.“ With that Daehyun left you alone and continued to walk, knocking on Yongguks office door. You were already on the stairs, when you heard the door open. You continued to make your way upstairs, when you met the CEO lookalike. 

„Y/N. Food is in a bout a hour. You better be on time or Yongguk will be mad. You can walk around the mansion if you want and look around. The only rule is, that locked doors stay locked.“ 

„Okay, Thank you Himchan.“ You really thought about his offer, exploring everything that could help your boyfriends gang later, but you just wanted to lay down now and think about what happened the last hours. You opened the door and walked in without looking, knowing that Yongguk isn’t there. You let yourself fall back into the soft mattress, closing your eyes, but you opened then, when you heard footsteps nearing. It was Jongup with your suitcases. 

„I’ll place them in front of your dresser.“, he said. „Wrong one. That’s mine.“ Out of sudden Yongguk appeared in the doorframe and Jongup held track in his movements. „Sorry boss. I forgot.“ He changed his directions and placed it in front of another one. „I leave now. See the two of you later.“ He quickly left and left you alone with Yongguk. 

„Can you stop shaking for once?“, Yongguk asked, slight annoyance in his voice. You didn’t even notice you were shaking. It must be his sudden appearance that scared you a little. 

„How do you-“ 

“I say it again. Stop shaking. I- We won’t hurt you, if you follow our rules. If you act up, you have a problem. Understood?” You scooted away a little, his hard words with the harsh voice really scaring you. 

Yongguk sighed, looking down at the floor before looking up again with way more gentle eyes and voice. „How about I show you around?“

{Monsta X Scenario/Reaction} to taking solo wedding photos with you

Scene: It’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship and it feels like all of your friends are married and starting families. They all have their futures planned, all but you. To shake some of the shrinking uneasiness of your single life, you decide to do solo wedding photos. It was all the rage for single women, and it would be nice to be the bride instead of the bridesmaid. The only issue you had was that there was no groom.  It dawns on you that you could ask your bestest friend in the whole world, but your self-conscious spirit was uneasy about him knowing about it.Not only that, you knew he had feelings for you, but with all the trainee work and their upcoming debut, you just weren’t sure if you could handle all that time away, or backlash from fans. Eventually, after much thought, you give in and shoot him a text. Much to your surprise he agrees to the idea, no questions asked. The day is here and you figured, go big or go home; you found this beautiful egg-shell white, mermaid gown for an affordable price, and did a lot of practice on your makeup the night before. You were ready for this. Everything was in place, all you had to do was step out and get on with the shoot. Upon entering the room, you look up and your eyes immediately find his.

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  • Lance cooking : bake this at 350 degrees F for 25 mins and then you sprinkle this with some fried onions and bake for another 5 minutes. Also my best friend hunk says this dish will taste better with some sauce on
  • Keith cooking : yeah and then you throw this egg into hot water and here you go, an edible boiled egg *puts the whole egg in his mouth and eats it*
balls (au kai parker one-shot)

Prompt: Saffron and her sorority sister Liv Parker were supposed to meet up tonight to make a hell of a lot of cake balls for a fundraiser that all the Pan-Helenic organizations were a part of. Problem is, Liv is a no-show and she’s stuck with 50 boxes of cake mix at 11 pm the night before the fundraiser. Thankfully, a night in shining sweats comes to Saffron’s rescue.

Requested: No, but derived from “I have like 50 boxes of cake mix, we need to start making the cake balls ASAP where are you???”  “I think you got the wrong number but wait i heard cake balls do you need help??” by the wonderful @shittyaus xoxox

Pairing: Kai Parker x Saffron (The Reader)

Warnings: cursing probably, sexy Kai, bla bla bla

A/N: hello loves! This is my first Kai Parker one-shot, and I’m so excited. Yes, Saffron is the name I picked for you/the reader in all my TVD fics. I’m excited to write more of him & other TVD characters. Pls tell me what you darlings think. Thank you for your patience & support! Much love xoxox

me: I have like 50 boxes of cake mix, we need to start making the cake balls ASAP where are you???

Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have counted on my stupid sister to remember that we were making cake balls for our sorority fundraiser tomorrow. I promised to convert exactly 50 boxes of cake mix (that’s all we had the budget for) into these fucking balls that everyone and their mother loves, no offense to anyone’s mother. And here I am, at 11 PM on a Sunday night, in my dorm hall kitchen waiting for her to respond to me. Will she at least– ding!

17738630275: I think you got the wrong number but wait i heard cake balls do you need help??

And of course, she’d give me the wrong number. Who the hell would actually be willing to help me make cake balls at this time of night? I groan and stare down at my phone, a crazy thought popping into my head.

me: actually, yes. i’m desperate here.

I changed the number to “pls don’t b a creep” and waited for the response, which seemed to come almost immediately.

pls don’t b a creep: alright, where would you like to meet?

me: are you near UCLA by any chance at all?

pls don’t b a creep: lol yeah i go to school there. what’s up?

me: okay perfect, i’m at the centennial hall kitchen #334. pls hurry. these 50 boxes of cake mix will suffer with me

pls don’t b a creep: i’ll come to their rescue. be there in a few

I sigh, slightly content that I’ll be getting help in ten minutes and slightly scared because--fuck I just asked a complete stranger for help. What if this person is a major creep? Shit is campus security still around? What number can I reach them at? Shit I should’ve paid attention at Orientation. Maybe I could sneak up to my room and grab my pamphlets or some pepper spray or–

“AHEM,” someone loudly clears their throat and I spin around, almost knocking myself into the one and only Malachi Parker: irresistible bad guy, ultimate frat  boy, and one hell of a good volleyball player. We’d met at a frat party and immediately clicked. Why was he here?

“Malachi Parker?” I chuckle and shake my head. “What’s up?”

“I got a text from a random number, asking me for help with making cake balls. And because you’re standing right next to an ungodly amount of cake mix, I’m gonna say it’s safe to assume that you sent the text?” The ends of his lips quirk upward and I almost face palm myself.

“Oh my god, I owe you big time! Holy shit, than you thank you thank you!” I smile widely as he pulls me into a hug, my insides melting as his strong arms wrap themselves around me. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know how I got your number. Liv swore that was her number and–”

“She set us up,” he shrugs and pulls away. “Not that I mind, but whatever.”

“Your sister–” I groan and hold all my negativity back. “I’m gonna strangle your sister. She’s been trying to get me to go on all these blind dates, but c’mon I’m the queen of date evasion.”

“And she’s the queen of revenge. We can talk about how evil my sister is, but we really need to get started on these cake balls or we actually will not sleep at all tonight,” he pulls up his sleeves and I almost drool. Actually, Liv? God bless your soul. I eye him up and down:a white sweater poking out from under his navy blue cardigan, his grey sweatpants riding low on his hips. God those hips–no, nope, snapping out of it.

“Right, well I’ll stir and you can pour them into the little ball shaped things?” I crinkle my nose as I pull out the trays for the cake balls. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us, Mal.”

“Mal?” Now it’s his turn to crinkle his nose as I pull out a big mixing bowl.

“Yes, you don’t like it?” I bite my lip, feigning hurt.

“Well,” he frowns, his eyes travelling between my lips and eyes. “Ugh you’re not playing fair, Saffron.”

“Hm, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” I smile sweetly and turn around, my back to him as I begin mixing the batters. “Hand me the eggs will you?”

“Here you go,” he places them on the table and stands directly behind me, his hands on my hips. My breath gets caught in my throat as he lifts my hair to the side and places gentle kisses along the side of my neck. I clench the bowl in one hand and the mixer in the other.

“K-Kai,” my breath comes out raspy as I try to control my breathing. “What the hell are you playing at?”

Originally posted by wickedfatality

“Hm?” He pulls away, standing directly next to me and smiling wide. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Me either,” I glare at his smirking face before going back to mixing. “Get your trays ready, we’re about to make a shit ton of balls.”

Protection Eggs!

For the New Moon, I thought I’d make some renewal and cleansing eggs, but it sort of evolved into a protection from negative energy… egg. Here you go!

-Eggs, as many as you want or need

-Salt, for protection and to dispel negative energy

-Onion flakes, for protection

-Black pepper, for protection

Cook it up however you want - scrambled, omlette, or a cool sunnyside up with stuff in/on it. However! I used the fire as the energy for the spell, envisioning it’s energy going into my egg and creating the magic. I ate it with the intent of cleansing and protection :) and now I’m grounding afterwards.

Hope this helps y’all!

7 Million Eggs & Ice Cream

Request:

Originally posted by bwiseoks

“During fetal life, there are about 6 million to 7 million eggs.”

A/N: Having one of those impulsive, uncontrolled writing nights again :P Enjoy

-Ray <3


“During fetal life, there are about 6 million to 7 million eggs.”
Jimin had to look up at you to confirm whether you were talking to him or not. He had just walked in from a hard day’s practice and found you lying on the couch watching TV. He had briefly greeted you before running into the shower. All he really wanted to do was have his dinner and then collapse in bed. However, now that he was out, with just a towel wrapped around his waist, in the kitchen making food, this is what you were saying to him. You were still laying on the couch, but this time with your eyes fixed on the small screen of your phone.
“Were you saying something to me, Jagi?” Jimin asked. There was no reply, so he assumed not. Turning around to head back into your shared bedroom, your words suddenly stopped him in place.
“Did you not hear me, Jimin? During fetal life, there are about 6 million to 7 million eggs.”
Jimin turned back to you to find you, this time, perched up on the couch and looking at him with anger etched on your face.
“7 million eggs?” Jimin repeated.
“Yeah.”
“Uh…where?”
“In me.”
What? Now?”

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The Jealous Marauders

I was in a bit of a rush writing this, so I hope it’s alright. I also researched stars in the seventies… so, I hope John Travolta was around the right time? I’m hopeless, I know.

Enjoy!

Requested

“James, they’re here!” you squealed, jumping onto your brothers’ bed, and smacking him with a pillow. “Wake up, you git, they’re here. I saw Lily’s car outside my window!”

“I heard you the first time, (Y/N),” he laughed, his brown eyes sparling as he reached for the glasses that lay on his bed side table. You ran to stand by his door, tapping your foot impatiently as he stretched.

“Come on James.” you whined.

“I’m up, I’m up.” he grinned, getting out of bed and ruffling your hair as he walked through the doorway. He was only a year older than you, but still he towered above you and you scowled, following him down the stairs. You hated your height, and being the smallest out of your friends, and you especially hated it when your brother ruffled your hair… But you couldn’t think about that right now. They were here, and you were finally going to see Lily and Sirius. That thought alone was enough to have you bounding to the front door and swinging it open.

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