here look at my life's failures

8

“I love this industry, but it certainly puts you into scenarios where you can see very clearly the cyclical struggle that life can present. I know that sounds kind of apathetic. It shouldn’t be looked at as complacent or indifferent. We have that awful saying here in LA, ‘Show me a content man, and I’ll show you a failure’. That’s the most disgusting Western saying I’ve ever heard. That’s not the way it is with other places in the world. It’s not the way I want to live my life. I love to be content.”

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

Dear Damian Part 4 (Older Damian Wayne x Reader)

Schninner: Part four of pain and feels- Er! I mean Dear Damian! *Nervous laughter* Heh, definitely no angst here! Anyways guys, thank you all for the wonderful comments and feedback for other parts of Dear Damian, it has truly made me a happy Squirtle! :D

Tagging @the-singing-canary to share the angst >:) as well as @isabellegunawan and @maruthor

Part 1 * Part 2 * Part 3 * Part 5 * Part 6 * Part 7

(Reader is a Girl)

Warnings: Swearing and oh so much of the angst

Word count:  1001

Mater List


You were 16 years old, standing out in the Wayne mansion’s garden looking up into the heavily polluted sky. Barely any stars were visible thanks to the light pollution, which caused your lips to form a slight frown. That was the only thing that you missed about your home, the stars.

You felt a pair of strong warm arms wrap around your waist, you let out a small gasp of surprise, then turned your head slightly to see your boyfriend, Damian Wayne.

“Oh, Dami! It’s you.” You said relieved.

“Of course it is beloved, who else would it be?” He inquired, before kissing you on top of your head.

“I don’t know, you just startled me.” You said with a sigh, your cheeks turning bright pick as he kissed you. You two had been dating for quite some time now, but you still weren’t used to his affections, not that they weren’t appreciated! They just surprised you.

“What are you doing out here at this hour?” He asked, his voice muffled by your hair.

You looked back up at the sky and sighed once more, “Just looking at the stars.”

Damian tilted his head upwards and squinted, “What stars?”

“Exactly,” You answered wistfully.

There was a long pause before Damian spoke again, “[F/N], are you… Unhappy here?”

Your eyes widened in shock at his words, and turned around in his arms to face him. The look on his face made your heart drop, his eyes were full of somber and fear. “If you are, you don’t have to stay here. I don’t want you to leave, but I don’t want to be the reason why you so miserable, and- “

You placed your hands gently on either side of his face, gently rubbing his check with one of your thumbs. He stopped talking immediately, and looked into your eyes. You gave him a gentle and warm smile,

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m happy as long as you’re here with me, and don’t ever forget that.”

He smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat, and leaned into your touch.

“I just don’t want you to be in pain, and don’t want to be the reason why.”

You leaned in and softly kissed him, gently breaking the kiss, but remaining mere centimeters away from his face.

“Damian Wayne, you could never hurt me, and I could never hurt you.”


You sat numbly on your bed, staring at your bloodied hands. It wasn’t your blood, no, it was something much worse, it was his blood, it was Damian’s blood.  

“He’s not dead.” You silently reminded yourself.

“No, not dead, but hurt.”

He had been stabbed, by none other than his horrible excuse of an Ex-girlfriend, you. You stabbed him, cursed him, said all of those nasty things, to save him.

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and onto your clenched fists. Your mind kept going back to the look of anguish on his face as the blade pierced his flesh and bone. You remembered his beautiful blue eyes, full of heartbreak as you told him you hated him. You recalled how he never fought back, not even when you released a full blown assault on him, just because the damn idiot still loved you!

“It was the only way.” You repeated to yourself over and over again, trying to convince yourself that that was the case.

But no matter how many times you tried to justify your actions, no matter how many times you told yourself that it was for the best, you still felt as if someone had ripped your heart out. Because not matter how many times you told yourself these things, you had still hurt the man you love, and you could never forgive yourself for that.


Months passed, months in which you had numbly went through, never fully present. It was always the same routine, your called into your father’s throne room, you are given a target, you go off and kill target, you come back, then it repeats. Today was no exception, you were called into your father’s throne room, undoubtedly for your next target. But when you got there, you noticed right away that something was wrong.

A large male figure with a burlap sack covering his face, was bound and kneeling in front of her father’s throne with a few of her father’s lackey’s guarding him to make sure he didn’t do anything. You walked over to your father, who had a shit eating grin on his face, making your skin crawl. You bowed to him.

“Father, you summoned me?”

“Ah yes! [F/N]! So wonderful for you to join us for our celebration!” Your father said, excitedly clapping his hand together.

You raised an eyebrow, “A celebration of what father?”

His eyes shone with twisted amusement, “It’s a party for our guest of honor here!” He sang out, pointing to the man that was bound. “We are celebrating his life and all of its glorious failures!”

You gave your father a confused and slightly unimpressed look.

He feigned shock, “Why my dear? Haven’t you figured it out yet?”

He signaled for the guard to remove the bag over the male’s face. You gasped, as you gazed into the eyes of your lover. His eye was swollen and bruised, and he had cuts all over his face. You head shot back to your father, who was maniacally smiling down at you.

“Dearest [F/N], today is the day we celebrate the death of Damian Wayne.”

“SEE LUNA SAFE TO ALTISSIA” - part 7

Pair: Nyx Ulric / Lunafreya Nox Fleuret

Previously: For some reasons, if I insert the Ao3 link here, the post doesn’t show up in the tags. So if you want the previous chapters, just message me privately ;)

Words: 4785

Plot: Luna and Nyx didn’t fell in the Empire’s trap, Nyx didn’t had to use the ring and he survived. What would have happened if Nyx really had the chance to ‘see Luna safe to Altissia’, like he promised to Regis? Here the part 7: Galdin Quay. Magic atmosphere. Dancing. Dino shipping Lunyx in the background. What do you expect to happen? ;)  

I have to thank again my beta reader @loveiscosmicsin … and this time. OMG. THE ART. Look at the art this time. @ramibriidge for the drawing and @viianki (yeah, we pulled you in all this too!) for the coloring <3 

What an amazing staff I have beyond the curtains <3 I feel blessed.


Somehow, Dino monopolized their attention for the rest of the day. He offered to pay for their drinks and Coctura cooked dishes from the freshest caught seafood they could ever eat. From the water and straight to the frying pan as the chef put it simply. In spite of first impressions, Dino was quite an enjoyable company – if you were ready to ignore his sad flirting attempts with basically every living girl around him. He traveled a lot in his life so he could entertained them with spicy anecdotes about almost everything. For his own sake, he didn’t dare to comment the delicate relationship between the Oracle and the Glaive anymore, but he kept observing every move of them, every eye contact and every slightly touch. That was a bit weird but both Luna and Nyx learned to deal with it pretty fast. Only when the evening came, Dino offered another drink to Lunafreya and left her with Coctura while he casually took Nyx’s arm and whispered: “Can I talk with you for a second?” Nyx was creeped by what the question could possibly imply but didn’t have other choice than please him.

“What’s the matter?” he asked as they reached the pier.

Dino smirked and took a key out of his pocket, placing it into the Glaive’s hand. Then he sneered, “You’re gonna thank me one day.”

“If this is what I think it is, I –” 

“You’ll gonna owe me big one day, I know.”

“This is getting embarrassing. Me and the Princess, not what you’re thinking and I would neve–”

“Oh, sure, like you can fool me. Anyway, how you use it is up to you. Haven’t you two ever shared a room?”

“Yeah, we did but–”

“So what’s the problem? Look, you have to sleep somewhere, right? Don’t overthink too much, it doesn’t help you.” 

Nyx sighed but in the end accepted the key. “Why are you doing it?”

Dino shrugged. “I could write another article about the way I recognize gems among tons of useless stones but… maybe the truth is that I just understand when a man needs help with a girl.”

Nyx bit his down lip and admitted, “That is not a simple girl I can pick up and then let go. That is the Princess. That is the Oracle of Eos.”

Dino seemed deeply puzzled by the insinuation: “Well, beyond that, isn’t she just a girl, anyway?”

Nyx smiled, putting the key in his pocket. “You are not as stupid as you look.”


Later that night, the music was played to entertain the clients and Galdin Quay got even more magical. The soft lights painted in red, orange and yellow the water of ocean, the air smelled like sea and cocktails, the gentle breeze caressed the skin of them all. Luna was so carried away by the atmosphere that she almost forgot her problems. Coctura was constantly excited of being in her company and spoiled her in every possible way, so hunger was the least concern on Luna’s mind tonight.

Nyx decided to stay a bit in the distance instead, watching over her as always, but in the most discreet way. He just knew that she preferred like that right now because of the ‘dream’ and of course he was right. Luna was kind of relieved in not having him around, constantly remembering the sensual moments they shared in the dream. Yet, she looked in his direction every time she could, just to be sure he was still there, never abandoning her. And when she got the confirmation of that, her heart warmed up more than it should have.

After two hours of watching the local band playing music, Lunafreya sighed. Coctura was fun, but all she discussed was about food or recipes while Dino was flirting with a blond girl on the bridge and he didn’t seemed to have any interest in conversing with someone else. In the end, Luna got bored and had to go back to Nyx. 

“Maybe I should retire for the night.” 

“Really? It’s still early and the night life here is amazing” Nyx said, revealing how much he was enjoying the music and the atmosphere. “You should stay a bit more.” 

“I have nothing to do.” 

“You could dance.” 

“And with who? You?”

Nyx raised his eyebrows and sighed, going back to look to the distance. "Wouldn’t that be nice…”

Luna’s first attempt of making a joke ended in a huge failure, because nobody there was laughing at all. On the contrary, it looked like she just putted salt on a open wound. 

“Nyx, I cannot hold my tongue on this any longer. I’m truly sorry about that dream” she started, whispering in a neutral tone, “I don’t know how it happened and I couldn’t control it at the time. I’m also sorry for telling you and for every discourteous act that came right after. Maybe we should both forget about all this and go back to our usual professional relationship.”

Nyx swallowed and smiled, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "Sure. At least until the next time we can have a conversation without you being snappy with me or red in the face to tell me what’s going on.”

Luna rolled her eyes. "Yes, this is exactly what I wanted to apologize about.” 

"It’s okay. If we go back to our professional relationship, may I have this dance?” 

Luna froze and faltered. "Ah, I…”

Nyx tried again: "Very professional dancing, I mean. I’ll just take it as the olive branch. You know, peace.”

The princess closed her eyes and hid the lips beyond her hand. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, but she also knew what was her duty to do and the two things didn’t coincide.

“Just one quick dance…” she said in the end, hoping that her heart and her mind would have accept such a compromise.

For Nyx it was enough: he tendered his hand, waiting for her to take it. She did it with a certain reluctance and regretted it immediately after, understanding where this would have lead in the moment she noticed Dino glancing at them with a victorious smile, raising his glass in the air. 

Nyx didn’t ever had a lot of dancing experience, but the battles of the past forged his body for every kind of movement, so he didn’t take a lot before settling for the dance. He rested a hand on Luna’s waist without looking shy, on the contrary, he searched for Luna’s eyes to sense if that wasn’t too much for her to bear.

Her cheeks were already burning hot, but she didn’t try to escape. She just positioned herself for the dance as the etiquette required and started on. The music was a soft jazz, which didn’t give them the opportunity to really keep the distance.

"Like I said before, Princess, it’s just a dance between two professional people. You can relax. And more, nobody except Dino and Coctura recognized us, so you can just enjoy the moment without fearing of ruining your reputation with a miserable Glaive like me.”

Luna took a deep breath and realized he was right. She was just too tense, so she relaxed her muscles and got closer to him, resting in the end her cheek on his shoulder. "A miserable Glaive…” she smiled. An unexpected feeling of protection and tranquillity invested her, making her closing her eyes. “You’re far from that.”

When a minute has passed and Nyx was sure she wouldn’t have freak out, he tightened his arms around her, smelling the sweet perfume of her hair mixed with the one of the salted sea. He was never been so close to her and the new experience lit up senses he didn’t even know he had. Suddenly, he felt everything at once. Like supernatural powers triggered by her closeness, his taste, sight, hearing, touch, smell were amplified, and at the same time he also experimented the electrical and magnetic vibes she radiated, enjoying them like a breath of fresh air. 

"Yeah? What do you think I am?” he asked, knowing that yes, he was such a miserable Glaive. For wanting a woman that was not his to have. “Just tell me if I’m getting warmer or colder.”

Luna placed her arms around him and shook her head. She started to think and think, and the line of her thoughts got darker as the time passed. "Nyx,” she whispered when the song was almost over. She stood on the tips of her toes, reaching his cheek and slightly kissing him right were his small tattoo was. The Glaive almost felt his heart explode in pure joy but totally froze when he heard she saying: “Once we arrive in Tenebrae, I’ll be safe. I won’t need a bodyguard anymore. We should go separate paths. I’m sorry.”

And then, she abandoned his arms and ran away.


Nyx was so shocked he couldn’t move until Dino came, clearly worried by the scene he just watched.

“Whoa, buddy, what the hell happened? Not even the girls I flirt with run away like that! How did you screw up such a perfect opportunity?”

Nyx wasn’t even able to answer. He was just trying to realize the real sense of what Luna just told him, but actually there was no sense at all. He just couldn’t believe at what he heard. Being safe in Tenebrae? No needing a bodyguard anymore? Getting separate? Three sentences hurt him like a stone squashing on his heart, destroying his expectations, mortifying his pride. Nyx mentally knew she never needed him, but in fact, all he hoped was to prove himself worthy of protecting her and cherish her even if he was just a mere immigrant Glaive, with no title and no magic to make him special.

"Hey big guy, are you listening to me? The suite is already paid for the night, you better solve your problem because I’m not getting that refund back.”

Nyx stared blankly at the man before him, thinking about the details he didn’t notice before: the princess’s sad eyes as he watched him, the soft kiss on the cheek which felt like a goodbye.

“Hello! Could you please act like a man and run after her?” Dino screamed in the end, cupping the hands on his mouth like he was using a amplifier. Nyx caught a deep breath and finally straightened up. “Good boy! Now go! Go!” 

And Nyx did so. He turned on his heels and followed the Princess down the bridge, until his feet met the white sand. The full moon was ready to illuminate his path, like it was giving him a sort of blessing.


Luna took her sandals off, walking fast in the sea to scroll away the tension and the sadness. The water was warm also at that time of the night, sparkling under the shining moon and the air was so restoring she already felt better. That until she heard him calling her name. “Princess!” She turned around, feeling tears wetting her eyes. 

“Go away!” and quickened her pace.

Nyx took really a short while to reach for her, entering in the water like he didn’t care of getting his boots soaking wet. “The hell I will!” He was pretty upset, she could tell only by the sound of his voice. When she saw his face though, Luna realized he was deeply mortified, too. “Have you lost your mind? What crazy idea did you come up with this time? Going on with the journey alone?”

She hadn’t the courage to talk to his face so she turned around a bit and looked down. “Nyx, you just can’t be my bodyguard forever, it’s too…” 

“Embarrassing? Inappropriate? Dangerous?” 

"Complicated.”

Nyx opened his mouth, closed it again, squeezed the eyes and pointed at the restaurant at his back. “So that’s the professionalism you were talking about just a couple of minutes ago? Wow, the coherence!”

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for both of us and for the rest of the world as well!” Her voice raised in the air a bit more, in a tone of frustrated sadness which was not usual to her.

“I don’t care about me and I don’t care about the world either, because I made a promise to my king to see you safe to Altissia and that I will, even if I’ll have to follow you around against your will.”

“Well, technically, your king isn’t Regis anymore so speaking about duties to the Crown, I’m certain Noctis would be enchanted to know how far you are ready to go just to ‘protect’ me!”

Nyx wide opened his eyes, in a very comical expression: “Excuse me? Are you trying to blame me for doing my job?” He got closer, leaning down on her to see her face in the darkness but she tried to step back, giving up when she noticed she couldn’t hide anymore.

She raised her hand and closed her eyes. “That’s not what I wanted to–!” 

"YOU’RE the one having dirty dreams about ME and now I’M the one going too far!” 

“Yes, having that dream was my fault but you certainly didn’t help me, with all your teasing and at the same time, being… kind!” She was so desperate she was getting ridiculous, causing Nyx to be even more confused. 

“Are you saying I was wrong being nice to you?” 

“No!” 

“Then I don’t get the point you’re driving at.”

“My point is that I can’t control myself when you are around and this not only scares me but it’s wrong!” she blurted out in the end. “The more I want to be professional, the more I end up closer to you and this can’t lead to anything good. I can’t have it, Nyx. I just can’t. For so many reasons I can’t even start to explain!”

Nyx waited for her to finish the sentence with the mouth open in surprise, then he slowly shook his head and lowered his voice, even if he was still strongly upset when he answered: 

“Listen, Princess. We don’t know each other for long, but I dare to say I understood a lot about you, more than you think. And you know what impression you made to me?” He looked her straight in the eyes, with a burning resolution, “You’re a frustrated woman.” Luna tried to reply but he cut her down with a light move of the hand. “Don’t even try to deny it! You’re a frustrated woman. You sold your body and soul to an important cause, and even though this is admirable, you now discover that beyond the façade of the ‘holy Oracle who will save the world with her merciful deeds’ you are just a normal girl which is scared by Kenny Crow and likes to listen to all kind of music on the radio! You love life, even if you’re ready to sacrifice it to appear like the most flawless being of all time and you inspire people. I’m not surprised that with all the people in the world you’re attracted by me - a common immigrant who joined the Kingsglaive as a sign of gratitude for the person who helped him - because for the first time in forever, with me you can do what you really want and not what other people tell you to do. With me you can be yourself and not what other people expect you to be!” 

He marked every word with a tenacious gesture and looked at her, talking with his heart in his sleeve. He was so brutally honest, so perfectly sincere, Luna couldn’t help but feel touched. Nobody ever talked to her like that. 

"Nyx, I–“ 

"I’ve not finished, because I want you to know that I know you hide things from me, which probably means I don’t have the whole picture of the situation. But one thing is clear, Princess: you-should-live-your-own-life!” At that point of the preach, he was warming up a bit too much, and almost screamed: “Why do you think you don’t deserve it? After being hostage of Niflheim for years, after being used as a bait in Insomnia’s fall, after being idolized by people, after all the fights you fought in secret, after being the only inspiration of Eos; why do you still think you don’t deserve to be selfish sometimes and do what the hell you want?” He took out of his shirt the necklace with the Ring of Lucis hung on it and showed it to her. “I accepted to take this for you only because I wanted to give you a break, for the Astrals’ sake! You should give the same opportunity to yourself, too!” 

After all that yelling, Luna was almost crying, swallowing down every word she wanted to say because it wouldn’t have make justice to the purity of heart Nyx let blow out in that very moment. 

For a minute, there was only silence, interrupted by the low crashing of the waves of the ocean. 

Then, Nyx sighed and turned around, moving away. 

Luna didn’t expected it and screamed in a broken voice, “W-where are you going now?”

“Where do you think? I’m going to sit on the sand, and watch over you, business as usual!” he answered, opening his arms, still very upset. “I told you I will never let you go!”

And so he did. He got out of the water, sat on the beach, trying to recuperate his composure. He took awhile, since he didn’t get so mad since he argued with Selena years before. Exactly like his little sister, Luna was stubborn and spoiled, but she was also more layered and complicated which made Nyx’s job of standing by her side very difficult.

He took a deep and frustrated breath and finally felt better. Looking at the distant figure of the Princess in the water also helped in the end, because if he could ignore the argument they just had, he should have admitted that it was the perfect picture, pure art. Everything of her was perfect: the way she looked at the moon in the distance with a thoughtful expression, the shape of her slender body, the way she let her hair down on her shoulders and turned in his direction. 

Nyx swallowed hard.

All the imperfections he - and probably only he - noticed made her so real and so perfect, and such a perfection only hurt him more in the end, knowing she was not something that would have ever been under his reach. Yet, she slowly came out of the water, beautiful under the moonlight like the goddess she used to represent.

Nyx watched her without saying a word, he totally fell under her spell. “Can I sit by you?” she asked after awhile. She was calm now, and even a bit sad. Nyx couldn’t tell if he nodded in response or what, but Luna sat down next to him anyway. Her breath was regular, barely audible because of the waves of the sea and so was his.

“About what you just said…” Luna started, “Every single word was a knife in the stomach but… I fear you are right. Yes. I think I really fear it.”

Nyx couldn’t say a word, her profile was just so ethereal to watch, he was captured by her words and couldn’t react. “My duty is my destiny, Nyx. I held on to this my whole life and I just… can’t imagine myself without it. Not only this, but people are depending on me. Helping Noctis and supporting him during in his ascension means giving hope to the whole world and I can’t falter especially now. Knowing all this forged my existence. You’re telling me to live my own life and do whatever I want but… I just can’t. I never actually could.”

Nyx turned around on the sand, casually touching her side with his knee. “But it’s not right. You know that, don’t you?” he asked, lowering his voice to let her know his concern. “You deserve to be happy.”

She looked at him, allowing herself to admire details she never really observed, like the form of his little tattoos, the scars underneath the beard, the braids in his hair, the changing color of his eyes under the moonlight. Suddenly, all those details were so dear to her, because they were part of him. 

“Happiness comes in different forms and perhaps mine is in fulfilling my destiny.”

“This is ridiculous…” he murmured, leaning a bit. They were so close now, she could almost hear his heart beating. He had fire in his eyes when he added: “I think you’re smart enough to know what makes you happy.” 

Luna felt her heart sunk, her arms going limp, and whole body go weak. Nobody ever gave her so much credit, so much space, or so much freedom. 

Surprising herself, she reached for his hand, entwining her fingers in his, looking for warmth. She didn’t care if his skin was rough or if his grip was too strong. She just wanted him again closer and closer, exactly like in the dream which tormented her for two days already. And his body was there in front of her, ready to surrender. If she only would have let him…

“Are you saying all this just because you want to take advantage of me?” she asked instead.

Nyx didn’t even get mad for the insinuation this time, he was just too enchanted by the rare occasions she was cheeky towards him. “No” he answered, very seriously. “If I wanted to take advantage of you, I wouldn’t have get angry when you asked me to leave you without protection, nor I wouldn’t have accepted to see you to Altissia where you’re gonna marry another man.” He raised a hand, caressing her cheek with a surreal gentleness. “…And maybe I wouldn’t have invited you to dance with me and gone off with the brunette who watched me the whole evening.”

That surprised her. “There was a woman watching you?” 

Nyx smiled and with that smile he didn’t caressed her cheek: he caressed her heart.

“Remember what King Regis said to you before he died? He wanted you to live happily. And as long as there’s life in me, I will work to make his last wish to come true. Even though it’s not gonna be with me, even though this would damage me, I want you to live happily, Princess. If this doesn’t prove I’m not trying to take advantage of you, I don’t–”

“It’s enough to me.” Luna swallowed, clutching the grip on his shirt: “I’m sorry, I was asking because my whole life men looked at me like that, they used me, they forced me into–”

“It’s okay.” Nyx shushed her, moving the thumb on her lips, while his whole hand was still cupping her cheek. “I didn’t ask for your reasons.” And then he stared at her lips, letting the desire grow stronger. She noticed.

“This is not good. In the end, I will be the one taking advantage of you.”

“Fine with it …” He sighed, too distracted to pay any heed to the warning.

"Let’s enjoy the moment?”

“Let’s enjoy the moment” he agreed.

Luna closed her eyes and opened her mouth, feeling him putting an arm around her waist to pull her closer. They had to move on the sand until they found the right position, but this didn’t stopped them. She touched his biceps, tracing a line to his neck, holding on to it like it was an anchor in the ocean of her bursting feelings. She longed for the kiss she thought would come, but immediately realized when he backed up from it. She opened her eyes and looked at his yearning look, wandering what made him to hesitate now.

“Ask me,” he begged. “I won’t do anything if you don’t ask me.”

Luna’s eyes got wet. “Nyx…” She tightened the grip around his neck and got so close until their lips touched. His breath was smelling like the cocktail Coctura served them before. 

“I just want it to be your choice, Princess.”

“It is. Kiss me.” 

She didn’t have to repeat it twice. He immediately rushed his nose against her cheek, kissing her opened lips, lingering on it to feel the flavor and the warmth. It tasted like liberation, like they both finally broke down the dam holding back their bursting feelings. Being that her first kiss, Luna didn’t even know how to handle things, so she let him take control, focusing on what she was receiving instead and enjoying every single instant of it. Nyx couldn’t ask for better. Even though he never allowed himself to indulge on that thought, he instinctively knew how to set his Princess on fire. He bit her down lip, and then the upper one and then he kissed her deeply, stealing her breath. Luna had to shrink back a moment to catch some air but he immediately pulled her closer again, forcing the princess to gasp in his mouth. She didn’t dare to escape ever again.

Nyx putted his fingers through her hair, guiding her moves. Then his hands slipped down on her neck, on her breast, until they reached her hips, where they stopped. 
He gently pushed her down on the beach and after watching her for a second - her golden hair loose on the sand, the innocent expression confused by her first effusion of affection and yet, the big blue eyes eager for him - he leaned down on her and kissed her lips again, this time with more tenderness, knowing she deserved it. The most beautiful flower of all Eos was in his hands and he needed to take care of it.

Luna putted a hand on his chest, exploring his shape, experimenting new sensations, looking for his natural warmth and then stopped when she heard his heart beating. She immediately understood that would always been her favorite sound from now on. 

They didn’t stop for a long while, not even caring if someone saw them or if the temperature was getting lower. 

They took all the time they need to learn to know each other’s lips, each other’s movements and breathing. Luna didn’t feel like rushing. If kissing a man for the first time meant feeling what she was feeling right now, she wanted to learn and understand every detail of it and she wasn’t ready to halt. Not now, at least. She let him take the lead and followed his instructions. It felt better than she expected.

In the end, it was Nyx the one who decided to stop, when he started to feel the urge to explore her body and give in to basic instincts. It took all the restraint he could muster to pull away.

“Princess,” he whispered, kissing her cheek and then her ear. She shivered deeply and hold on his back, instinctively sinking her nails in his shirt. He smiled and didn’t complain, because even that hurt was pleasure if it came from her. “It’s better if I stop now.” 

She sighed and opened her eyes to look straight at him. She found a sweet note on his face, like he was completely satisfied by how that conversation ended and not just that. Like he was proud of her. “… W-why?”

He raised himself up on one elbow, and looked for something in his pocket. Doing so, he had to distance him a bit and Luna already missed having him on her.
In the end, Nyx took out the key Dino previously gave him and put it under the moonlight. 

Luna wide opened her eyes and started to stutter: “Nyx, w-wait, I–”

Nyx bit his lip and then started laughing.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” he said, his beautiful large smile shining only for her. “Relax. It’s not what you think it is. Or better, it is, but I’m not even gonna enter in the room where you will sleep tonight, otherwise I would totally ‘take advantage of you’. I know, big contradiction to what I said a couple minutes ago.”

Luna sighed in relief but at the same time she rested her hands on his chest. She didn’t want to let him go. “And where will you sleep?”

“I’ll pay for another room. Or in the car.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Luna caressed his face, feeling his beard brushing against her fingertips. They were looking in the eyes like it was the last time and Luna couldn’t help but ask: “Just… another kiss before I go?” 

That was a request he would have always accepted. Fearing that it was their last moment of intimacy and that next day Luna would have regretted letting her walls down, Nyx kissed her again passionately and it was his deep devotion that she felt safe between his arms unlike any she never was anywhere else.

Whatever it would have come next, it wouldn’t have change what they felt that night. It was wrong, it was useless, it was not fair, yet, it was theirs and only theirs. And they enjoyed every second of it.

I created this spread during one of my many three in the morning depression events that leave me feeling like a failure. The intention of this spread is to make me feel better and remind me that “I’m Not Worthless." 

Position One: My Strength. This position reminds me that through all that I’ve been through, all the ups, downs, crazy left turns that life has thrown my way I am still here. This position puts my strength and self-worth front and center while reminding me of the badass that I am.

Position Two: Acknowledgment. This position brings the feelings of worthlessness to the forefront. I make sure to look at this card, allow myself to feel my pain, my sadness and then give myself the permission to process it and then let it go. I think acknowledging my feelings is important rather than masking them or covering them up with something else. This position allows me to do that.

Position Three: Self Care. This position is the suggested advice and first step for my self-care and healing. With this position, I become accountable for my thoughts and healing process until I can obtain external resources if needed to better myself and the situation.


Post Notes:
Please do not remove the captions.
Spread: I’m Not Worthless by @tarotprose
Copyright
:  © Ivan Ambrose 2016
Spread Disclaimer: This is my own personal spread. I am not a medical professional, nor claim to be, nor do I suggest this spread to be used in replace of medical treatment. This is just what helps me and I wanted to share it with others. 

anonymous asked:

How did you face your social anxiety? I've been dealing with it all my life and my family doesn't understand that. They think I'm shy or a snob but I'm not, I'm just scared. They think I'm lazy bc I don't go anywhere nor do I have a job. I've turned down like 6 jobs. Each day it gets worse and worse. I feel like a failure. I hate social anxiety. I don't want it.

I’ve gotten two asks like this, so I’ll just answer them both here. I know recovery looks different for everyone. For me, time, prayer, and gently and gradually putting myself into situations that made me afraid or uncomfortable helped. It’s hard though. Social anxiety made me feel like a flaw, like I wasn’t normal, that maybe there was some switch inside of me that wasn’t flipped right that made me incapable of human connection/relationship. I felt that maybe I was meant to live in a bubble all my life, on the outside looking in, forever letting fear run my life and make my choices for me. Sometimes I still have those fears, but deep down I know that isn’t God’s will for me. He doesn’t want me to live my life in constant worry and fear and pain like that.

Making yourself go places and do things you’re afraid to is really hard, but you’re never going to get better at something if you don’t work at it. Taking small steps is key. Maybe one day you go to your favorite food place on your own and purchase something, even just one thing. Then maybe another day you decide to say hi to someone you pass by, and it feels good. Then another day you decide to walk or drive somewhere on your own for the first time. That’s progress, even if it feels small. Even if it breaks you, I truly believe it helps you grow too.

To be honest, my boyfriend really helped me too. Being in a relationship really pulled me out of the box that social anxiety kept me in, mainly because it forced me to open up and allow someone to see the deepest, rawest parts of me that I always kept hidden because I cared too much about what people thought of me. I had to share more, and overtime I’ve become better at it. Of course you don’t need a boyfriend for this to happen, but just having someone by your side who knows what you’re going through can really make a difference. Opening up about your issue is important. Maybe people won’t always understand at first, like my mom for example, but given time, God willing, they’ll come to realize that your anxiety is real but not your fault. I know telling people about this stuff is brutally painful and hard, but keeping it in can be dangerous, especially when anxiety drives you to the darkest places. Telling my mom about what I was going through was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, but I thank God she eventually understood.

Another thing was that I knew I had to stop caring so much about other peoples’ perception of me. I had to ingrain in my head that I have nothing to prove to anyone, so there was no reason for me to get hung up on overanalyzing what people may think about the things I do or say. I remind myself that people aren’t always looking at me, judging me, or remembering my every mistake as I think they are. Do I do that to others? No, so why would they do that to me? Who honestly does that anyway? I had to remember that God was the only one I needed to please, and He loves me and understands me, therefore why do other peoples’ opinions matter?

Also, don’t forget to celebrate your small victories. Even if no one else understands, if it’s an accomplishment to you, it’s important and it matters. Reward yourself when you’re faced with something you’re afraid of but do it anyway. Remember that there will be setbacks sometimes, lots of them. One day you might think you’re getting better and then the next day you’ll feel stuck again and like your world is caving in. It’s okay; recovery isn’t a straight path. It may take years to get where you want to be, but I truly believe time is the answer. Also, I think it’s important to take into account your environment. For me, starting college was where my anxiety really peaked, mainly because of my living situation and the fact that I was always alone. It made it easier to hide that way. But once that changed, gradually I found that some of my issues faded.

To be honest, I am amazed every day by how far I’ve come. It seems almost crazy to think that a year ago anxiety controlled my life. I know I owe it all to God though. Don’t give up on yourself; you’re not a hopeless cause. You’re not a failure. You can get through this. xx

10

Hank Rizzoli Autistic Moments (2/?)

Discovering He’s On The Spectrum 

“Look at this, right there - ‘difficulty expressing emotions’. Yeah, here. 'insensitive to nonverbal cues of others’, 'taking directions literally’, 'failure to read between the lines’, 'uncomfortable with the eye contact’! Everything. Check, check, check. You know, I’m seeing my life here. I’m seeing my life. I’m seeing everything, the whole thing. Why stuff happens." 

It’s about time this cat came out of the bag. Or more accurately, this pussy took the paper bag off. I keep pushing the pronouns of “you” and “her” and “she” off like you or her or anyone are a planet keeping me in orbit. But in reality, I’m merely trying to strangulate myself with these tetherings. Of course, I couldn’t hit a target if the centre of my brain was a bullseye. They say the pen is mightier than the spear, so a lobotomy with one is perfect use of this weapon. My existence is a disclaimer to my anthology and an apology to my past life. My apologies look like cold packs being applied onto something swollen, but feel like what evil had taken the warmth and deemed it stolen. I am an action figure that hasn’t had the recall warning put out yet, even when there are innocent people choking on me, choking from me. I keep typing “you” as if I’m talking to someone else, but if I’m conversing with anyone it’s the masses of people I’ve disappointed. The fact they look like me is merely coincidental. I inhale clouds of smoke, spit out lightning bolts, and conduce an inhumane amount of electricity into people. I also blink out tears but that is done away with like the light showers I take in trying to feel clean. I’m not an addict to anything except that which accelerates my regression which is love in places hate should fall to. I hate you partially because you resemble me and we resemble each other and I remember this sentence started off directed at someone else but did ricochet off every empty glare inside of myself and now I am more two dimensional reflection than three dimensional anything. My feelings are carbon copies of duplicates of doppelgangers of look-alikes in other people. I used to believe life fit between a television set, until I learned that means putting myself in situations I don’t want to be in. Unconsciousness of how awake to my misery I am lies in how I lie awake planning and positioning trivialities of something that won’t be worth a second look in a million seconds, let alone a million years. Inconsequential, incorrect, insubordinate, infuriating, indescribable idiot. I am finally taking ownership of the failures I have found, become, and lived as instead of whatever portrayal lives on out there. In here, I am tumbling in and out dreams, stumbling into shallow graves of memories, and buried in how much I have to take and misplace and disgrace and rearrange and discombobulate and disassemble. I’m too scared to die, so I let my sadness chop me down, inch by painless inch, instead. Last year, I was a visage of tears hiding a face. This year, that face is turned inside out so someone can see my inner workings.

If you think I’d be fulfilled living in a hole, you wouldn’t be far from the truth. If you think I can start a fire inside of myself, there aren’t many matches left and I’m ready to start burning down, whatever that means. I’m sickly and frail and break a lot easier than you could ever think. The very notion that I’m supposed to be something great is just another benchmark I’m a little too short to touch. If my skin were any thinner, a papercut would prove fatal. If my heart were any softer, it would cease to hold any form and slither around inside of me. If my mind were any weaker, I wouldn’t have said a word.

These days, I’d rather water a plant and sit mindfully with it than douse my mind in social media or other distractions. Instagram seems to have retained a shred of honesty, even if most people focus on the positive aspects of their lives. But that’s really what we should be doing – focussing on the beautiful things in our lives and spending our energy strengthening these aspects.

Positivity can only defeat negativity if we give it energy. Solidarity can defeat inequality. Mindfulness can smother materialism. The good in ourselves will feed the good in others, and that’s really where it all begins: in ourselves. I won’t share with you my detached depressive state, that’s for me to disrupt. I won’t bother you with my mistakes and my failures, that’s for me to learn from and to grow with. I want to be a beacon for the positivity that’s here in the world, and there within you. I don’t want to be a cute dog you look at to distract yourself. I want to be useful in a way that you can find the beauty in your own life and become a stronger and better person because of it.

My hopes are that my feed offers you strength. But don’t praise me for shedding light on something that you already knew, take pride in yourself for illuminating it. Because this feed isn’t necessarily a reflection of me and my life, but rather who I wish I was.

8

Happy 35th birthday, Christopher Robert Evans! (June 13, 1981)

I love this industry, but it certainly puts you into scenarios where you can see very clearly the cyclical struggle that life can present. I know that sounds kind of apathetic. It shouldn’t be looked at as complacent or indifferent. We have that awful saying here in LA, ‘Show me a content man, and I’ll show you a failure’. That’s the most disgusting Western saying I’ve ever heard. That’s not the way it is with other places in the world. It’s not the way I want to live my life. I love to be content.

6

“I love this industry, but it certainly puts you into scenarios where you can see very clearly the cyclical struggle that life can present. I know that sounds kind of apathetic. It shouldn’t be looked at as complacent or indifferent. We have that awful saying here in LA, ‘Show me a content man, and I’ll show you a failure’. That’s the most disgusting Western saying I’ve ever heard. That’s not the way it is with other places in the world. It’s not the way I want to live my life. I love to be content.”

The Little Pieces of Us

by  otayuri_oh_nice

Read it here

Throughout the years many moments and events shaped Yuri’s and Otabek’s lives, but between the medals, failures and stolen kisses, these were the most memorable ones.

A look behind the scenes of Yuri’s life as Russia’s figure skating hope and private person age 16-24, and Otabek’s influence and significance along the way.

* * *

Age 18:

“I mean, why me? Even I know I’m an asshole most of the time, any of the finalists present today can confirm that, and across the past year I was insufferable, even for my standards.”

Otabek’s eyes turned softer then. “That’s not true. Yes you can be a bit of an ass sometimes, but that’s not everything. Trust me, the positives most definitely outweigh the negatives.”

Words: 94666, Chapter: 20/20, Language: English

Fandom:  Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)  

Rating: Not Rated

Characters: Otabek Altin, Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Mila Babicheva, Phichit Chulanont, Jean-Jaques Leroy, Isabella Yang, Lilia Baranovskaya, Nikolai Plisetsky, Nishigori Triplets, Leo de la Iglesia, Sara Crispino

Relationship(s): Otabek Altin/Yuri PlisetskyKatsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov

Keith Vlogging

*Touring his apartment, talking to the camera*

Keith: I have learned a great deal of things while living with Lance. For example: what the moon would taste like, how many years it would take to travel to mars in a canoe. But in all my years of living here I can still never find the FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER!!!

Lance: *in the distance* It’s in the fridge!

Keith: It’s in the fridge. It’s in the fridge! *sighs deeply* WHO THE FUCK KEEP PEANUT BUTTER, IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE????? 

Lance: *slides into the background* I like to keep my nuts chilly!

Keith: *rubs the bridge of his nose* *looks at lance* I hate you.

The 2ps As Rap Songs

2p! America: I’m the Greatest (FUTURISTIC)

“Double XL, man, I want the cover, there’s no way that I’m not in the conversation.
I don’t have no patience unless it’s patients from playing operation
I’m castrating anybody that’s hating.”

2p! China: Young, Wild and Free (Snoop Dogg& Wiz khalifa ft. Bruno Marz)

“Roll joints bigger than King Kong’s fingers
And smoke them hoes down ’til they stingers
You a class clown and if I skip for the day
I’m with your bitch smokin’ grade A.”

2p! England Nice Clean Rap (Family Guy)

“I respect women when I’m on a date


I’ll take ‘em to the park or maybe the museum


And I only try to kiss 'em if they’re ready


Whoo hoo what what what a what a say what what”

2p! France; Hot Fuck No Love (Clipping ft. Maxi Wild & Cakes Da Killa)

“And so what is love?
It’s just frame of mind
And boxed in by sex
It’s toxic.”

2p Russia: Monster (Kanye West ft. Rick Ross, Jay-Z, Bon Iver & Nicki Minaj)

“I still hear fiends scream in my dreams
murder murder in black convertibles
I kill a block I murder the avenues
rape and pillage a village, women and children
everybody wanna know what my Achilles’ heel is
Love I don’t get enough of it.”

2p! Canada: Papaouta (Stromae Angel Haze remix)

“And realized you weren’t in this race

And I ran for the finish line, hand falling to the ground

Sorrow building in my mind, tears nearly had me drowned

How I grew without you is a task never mastered

Tell me what’s a father. What’s a father to a bastard?

How’d you feel when you let me go?”

2p! Italy Tonight (Clipping ft. Gangsta Boo)

“Flashing lights, molly dreams, face down low
DJ screaming “last call”, that liquor dark, that dick gone hard
With visions of her legs up in the air over your face under her ass
And breaking lamps from beating pussy purple cause she like it fast.”

2p! Romano Too Easy (FUTURISTIC) 

“Like a troll flow cold, north pole with it, my clothes so vintage
I make hits like a tennis match
Fucking bitches, only time I ever finish last
In my shows, everybody put they hands up
Like a smart kid in chemistry class, goddamn, it’s too easy.”

2p! Germany: Can’t Hold Us (Macklemore and Ryan Lewis)

“Raise those hands, this is our party
We came here to live life like nobody was watching
I got my city right behind me, if I fall, they got me
Learn from that failure, gain humility, and then we keep marching,”

2p! Japan: Dream (Clipping)

“Here the sun refracts so much the prisons look like prisms

Rainbow chains ain’t shit but long division

A vision of a suited black man peddling dream logic overlooks a park bench
Kids kaleidoscope into an arc and two by two are Lorax’d off the block”

2p! Prussia: m.A.A.d city (Kendrick Lamar)

“Brace yourself, I’ll take you on a trip down memory lane
This is not a rap on how I’m slinging crack or move cocaine
This is cul-de-sac and plenty Cognac and major pain
Not the drill sergeant, but the stress that weighing on your brain”

2p! Austria: Sweat Pants (Childish Gambino)

“I’m winnin’, yeah, yeah, I’m winnin’ (What?)
I’m winnin’, yeah, yeah, I’m winnin’ (What?)
I’m winnin’, yeah, yeah, I’m winnin’ (What?)
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain”

askthemafioso  asked:

21!

-Do I look like a failure to you?

Leo exhales, letting out whispy clouds of smoke. 

 “honestly. yeah, you do” He starts to laugh, but it quickly evolves into a dry cough.

 “sorry-” cough “-that was mean. just messin’ around. You sure you don’t want any?” He holds the pipe in front of nicks face, smiling lazily at the mafioso.

True Test Pt. 9

Catch Up: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Group & Member: BTS’ Jimin

Genre: Angst/fluff-ish

Warnings: none


The studio was dark with the exception of one small desk lamp. You could see Yoongis brown hair shining beneath the light as he rests his head on his arm. 

The sound of the door opening stirs him awake and he sits up, his eyes blinking quickly, adjusting to his surroundings. He takes the sight of you in. 

“Who told you I was here?” He asks softly, but with edge to his voice. He wasn’t ready to talk to you yet, not until he could figure out his feelings. 

You rolled your eyes at him. 

“No one told me, I know this is where you come when you get frustrated” You said plainly. 

He leans back in his chair, swiveling back around so that his back is to you. 

“Well coming here to escape frustration doesn’t quite work when the frustration follows you” He mumbles, and you can feel the hurt radiating from him. 

Keep reading

A Bug's Life Sentence Starters
  • It’s a rock. 
  • We’ll just use our imaginations. Now, now do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and voilá! 
  • This rock will be a tree? 
  • Now, y-you might not feel like you can’t do much now, but that’s just because, well, you’re not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You’re still a seed. 
  • Don’t you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I’ve spent a lot of time around rocks! 
  • You’re weird, but I like you. 
  • I swear, if I hadn’t promised Mother on her deathbed that I wouldn’t kill you, I would kill you! 
  • And believe me, no one appreciates that more than I do. 
  • Shut up! I don’t wanna hear another word out of you while we’re on this island. Do you understand me? 
  • I said do you understand me? 
  • Well, how can I answer? You said I couldn’t say another word! 
  • First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.
  • I’m lost! Where’s the line? It just went away. What do I do? What do I do? 
  • Do not panic, do not panic. We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. 
  • I only got twenty-four hours to live, and I ain’t gonna waste it here. 
  • Oh, will you *shut up*? 
  • They can’t know the truth! The truth, you see, is bad! I will be branded with this mistake for the rest of my life! My children’s children will walk down the street and people will point and say, “Look, there goes the spawn of ___ the Loser”! 
  • Give him pie! Give him pie!
  • Hey, bartender! Bloody Mary, O-positive.
  • You listen to me. I’ve made a living out of being a failure, and you are not a failure. 
  • Get off the stage, you old hag! 
  • Shoo, fly. Don’t bother me.
  • What’s the point of going out there? They’ll only laugh at me.
  • What ho, Robin! Justice is my sword and truth shall be my quiver. 
  • He’s quite the motivational speaker, isn’t he?
  • Let’s ride! 
  • Ideas are very dangerous things! You are mindless, soil-shoving losers, put on this Earth to serve us
  • And that’s how my twelfth husband died
  • Hey, turn your butt off! 
  • Are you saying I’m stupid? 
  • Do I look stupid to you? 
  • Just do what he says. You don’t wanna make him mad, believe me. 

Never Enough

Hey I as wondering if I could get a personal one? My name is Danielle I’m 21 from Australia I’m 5'2 and a bit on the heavy side and i think Daryl hates me cause I’m not as fit as everyone else and I hold everyone up but he really thinks I’m cute please and thank you :) p.s. you’re other imagines are pretty good so far :)
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“RUN!” Rick screamed as an entire heard of walkers came toward us, we couldn’t hold off anymore. I was anxious because I knew everyone was faster, they didn’t have to outrun the walkers, they just needed to outrun me. I picked up my pace and tried to keep up with everyone.

We came to a blockage and there was nowhere to go, we were gonna have to climb it. It seemed like everyone was going over with ease except for me, of course.

“Danielle, give me your hand!” Tera said as she extended her arm. I grabbed on, but as soon as I did I felt something grab my foot. I looked back to see a walker trying to pull me down. I screamed and kicked it in the head with my other foot. I got pulled up and I laid right in the dirt. We were safe for now and I couldn’t bring myself to move. I was breathing heavily and sweating.

“We almost died.” I said as I closed my eyes.

“No, you almost died.” Rosita said and rolled her eyes.

I knew she didn’t really like me because more than half the time I held the group back. It’s not my fault my legs couldn’t keep up with theirs.

“Whatever, we just need to get back to Alexandria, it’s gonna be dark soon.” Rick said as he started to walk away.

I grunted as I got up off the ground. I trudged behind them as we made our way back to the rest of the group.

I watched Daryl as he walked ahead of me. I studied the way he moved, the way he was so aware of everything.

We finally arrived back at the gates of Alexandria, and when we did I went straight for the house. I stayed in the shower forever and when I finally got out I decided to spend time alone.

I went out into the back porch and looked up at the stars. I felt like a complete failure, I knew this group hated me. I couldn’t do anything right for them ever. I pulled out a cigarette and gave it life.

“Hey.” I heard a voice and before I knew it, Daryl was sitting on the step next to me. “Those kill ya.” He pointed out.

“Want one?” I asked.

“Light me.” He said as I handed it to him.

“Why are you out here?” I asked blowing the smoke out of my mouth.

“Can’t sleep, why are you?” He looked up at the sky.

“Just thinking.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Care to tell?”

“Not really.” I was no longer looking at him, but the burning end of the cigarette.

“C'mon.” He said nudging me. This was so out of place for us, he never really paid much attention to me.

“I guess just how I’m not too useful to you guys. I kinda hold you back.” I don’t know why I decided to be honest, it just happened.

“Why would ya say so?”

“Come on, I almost get us all killed on a daily basis, ask Rosita.” I made sure to put the emphasis on her name as I put my cigarette out.

He laughed which made me look over at him. “Exactly.” I said as I started to stand up.

“I’m laughin’ cause yer lettin’ her get to ya. If ya really were holdin’ us back Carol woulda killed ya by now.”

“Oh my god.” I laughed and nudged him. He threw his arm around me and gave me a quick squeeze. When he went to take his arm off of me I quickly grabbed it and held it there in place. This was odd for the both of us, usually I tried to stay away from him, but in this moment I wasn’t sure if I needed someone or if I needed him.

“Ya okay?” He asked giving me another squeeze.

“Have to be.” I said tucking myself into him.

“Ya.” He pressed his cheek to my head and leaned on me. This made me think so differently of him, that maybe he did care about somethings, or maybe he did care about me. I’m not sure what he used to be like before this, but I had a feeling he wasn’t the soft type. I felt him kiss the top of my head and with that he stood up.

“G’ night.” He said as he stood up and headed for the door. He left me there wondering what came over the both of us.

I hung outside for awhile until I decided to just sleep on it and see him in the morning.
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Thank you so much for being patient, I am so sorry I take forever to write these. I’m not even going to give excuses lol. But I’ll be on spring break for the next week so expect a few more coming! Let me know how I did and leave me some requests or just stop by and say hello!

Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate where you are now until you look at where you used to be.

There’s a lot to be said about these two pictures and the time in between them.
I hardly even recognize that girl on the left. I was sick, miserable…I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but fat and failure. I didn’t know how to enjoy life. I didn’t even want to keep living.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that lifting saved me.

While it might have taken years of pain, tears, breakdowns and set backs, here I am today, breathing happiness.

Today, I am the strongest and healthiest I have ever been, both mentally and physically. And I have nowhere to go but up.

I refuse to go back to being that girl on the left.
I am my own motivation.