here is part one


This one was definitely my favourite of all the fake fics for the Rivals series I came up with and so I couldn’t help but writing a bit more! 

Original post here 

Part 1 here

Disclaimer - this is a mock up of what one of the fics written by Viktuuri fans in the Rivals universe on the alternate AO3 might look like and therefore is a reflection of how fans see umfb!Yuuri and Viktor not as they actually are. Also again this is a quick fun piece of writing so please don’t take it seriously!

Keep reading

Like She’s Mine (part three) - Stiles Stilinski

part one here
part two here

warnings: swearing, teen pregnancy, depressing content that’s possibly triggering (???)

We left the building in silence

We drove home in silence.

We walked inside in silence.

It wasn’t until I sunk to the floor by my bed that I spoke to her since hearing the news.

“You can’t tell Stiles”

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as the shower was warming up.  I pulled my shirt over my head, and took off my shorts.  I still stared at my stomach in the mirror, turning to different sides, wondering if I’d seen a change.  Sure, three weeks along I’m not gonna have a full on stomach, but I thought I’d notice a difference.

Tears welled in my eyes as the situation really caught up with me.  I was pregnant.  With Theo’s child.  The lying dick twitch never used a condom like he said he did.  How stupid was I? I looked down at my belly, rubbing my hands over the skin smoothly.  What was I going to do? What do I tell my family? My friends? Only Allison knew.  She could keep a secret but could the others? Could I even? This was hug what if it accidentally slipped? Sooner or later guilt would catch up and I’d force myself to tell them.  Scott, Lydia…


No no he can never know.  He’d be too disappointed, it would just ruin our friendship, it would ruin everything-

What about college? Could I even go if I got in now? A freshman girl in college expecting her baby any day now? Who wouldn’t ridicule me?

The tears spilled over the longer I thought, and soon I was just standing naked in the bathroom sobbing to my reflection.  When I got cold I sat in the shower, curling up in a ball and sobbing there some more.  What mess had I gotten myself into?

I was sitting in the living room, binge watching Netflix when Allison called me.  It was about nine, and I figured she was home from her date.

“Hi Alli” I said softly into the phone.

“Hey, hey honey how’re you holding up?” I shrugged, knowing she’d figure out the answer without my verbal one.  “I was thinking you’d want someone to talk to, ask questions” She offered.

“Yeah, that’d be nice” I whispered.

“You wanna talk in person tonight? Or tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow would be good, maybe we can get coffee or something” I said, and I could tell by her voice that she smiled.

“Sounds good y/n.  I’m here for you for anything, okay? No matter what, I love you so much, and I want you to have all the support you need” I teared up at her words, or maybe it was the hormones, but I think it was her.

“I love you too Alli” Your voice cracked.  “We’ll talk tomorrow for sure okay?”

“Yeah, yes of course” Allison said, and you took in a shaky breath.  “Take it easy honey, goodnight”

“Goodnight Allie”

“I love you”

“Love you too Al, I’ll text you in the morning”

With that the call was over, and I sunk further into the couch.  The show currently playing was a dull background noise.  But it will all be okay soon.  Well, at least, manageable.  I’ll talk to Allison, and we’ll sort everything out.  

“It’s going to be okay” I whispered to myself.  “It’s going to be okay”

I accidentally fell asleep on the couch, but I wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable.  It just happened to be I’d pushed myself to far in the day without rest, and I couldn’t stay awake anymore.

I dreamed about paint, swatches of pastel pinks and blues, buying little stuffed animals and lots of rattles, bottles, blankies.  I dreamed off bouncing a little baby on my knee, tickling their face with feather light kisses.  Of rocking a little boy or girl in a chair, holding them in my arms and gazing lovingly down at their angelic features.

I awoke to my phone’s alarm at nine am the next morning.  I stretched, rubbing my hand softly over my stomach as I made my way upstairs, plugging my phone in as I went through my dresser.  I easily settled on jeans and a loose tee shirt.  I brushed my hands over the material, slipping under the fabric and skin running on skin.  I did this for a few minutes before Allison texted saying she was ready whenever I was.  I told her she could swing by and get me anytime.

Ten minutes later I was sitting across from Allison at the cafe by Lou’s Flower Shop.  There was a fresh cup of french vanilla coffee in front of me, and Allison sat with her legs crossed and her hands wrapped around a mug of caramel machiatto.

“Let’s take this slow, yeah?” She murmured.  I nodded in response.  “One thing at a time, go ahead and say or ask anything, it’s just me” I licked my lips as I thought about where to start.

“I guess… I guess we begin with what I’m going to do with it- them” I caught myself.  “I can’t keep them… I can’t afford to I don’t have the time to raise a.. A baby” I whispered the last part out of paranoia.

“There’s other options, lots of people are out there wishing they could have a baby, there’s adoption.  But if you don’t think you can handle the pregnancy-”

“No, no not abortion” I said.  Yes, I was all for pro choice and I guess I’d thought about it before in these situations.  Of course back then I didn’t think it would be bad.  But now, looking down at my belly, there was a little boy or girl in there, my little boy or girl.  I couldn’t kill them, I couldn’t abort them.

“Okay” Allison nodded slowly.  “Are you thinking adoption?” I chewed on my cheek as I nodded.

“There’s lots of good parents out there who can’t have children, and I’m in the opposite pair of shoes” I said.  “It would be wrong of me not to give the responsible adults- they deserve to be happy, and if I can do that for them, then I must.  It just seems like the right thing to do” Allison smiled softly and nodded.

“How noble” She said, and I laughed lightly through my nose.  I didn’t say anything. But took a drink from my coffee.  “And, and the other day you asked me not to tell Stiles-”

“No no he can’t know” I pleaded.  Allison’s eyes widened in shock.

“It just surprised me, I figured you would’ve told him first” I ran my fingers around the top of my mug.

“I would disappoint him Allison, he just got through telling me I wasn’t a whore because it was safe” I ran my hands through my hair.  “What will I do? What will I do about college?”

“You can still go y/n-”

“No Allison that would be humiliating” I said, shooting down the idea of going.

“Alright, well there is online courses as well, if you’re still interested”

“Yeah…. Yeah that could work” I whispered.  And suddenly an idea sprung.  “Stiles could go to Washington DC, I’ll stay here, take online courses, have… have the baby” The slightest of smiles grew on my face.  “It could work Alli” She pursed her lips and nodded.

“I’m staying here for University, I could help you out, you know if you get cravings or… just anything like that” I smiled softly and nodded.  “Are you going to tell anyone else?”

“I guess… I guess Lydia?” I said, and Allison nodded again.

“And Theo-”

“No.  No, no, never” I decided.  “That would end.. No I can’t, we can’t, no one can” I rushed.

“y/n he is the father..”

“No, no he’s not, whatever man choices to adopt them, that’s the father” Allison gave me a look.  “I’m serious Alli, he can never know” She nodded, slow, a barely there movement.

“Okay, just me and maybe Lyd” I nodded, finishing the last of my drink.  Allison reached a hand over the table, placing it on mine.  “It’s going to be okay y/n” She said gently.

I was laying in bed, knees propped up and holding a book against them.  There was a can of pringles next to me, leaning against my stomach that was now half empty.  I’d long stopped reading and again my mind was plagued with thoughts of the baby inside of me.  I’d barely even thought about telling my parents.  But at the same time they were hardly around.  I mean, I guess I could always pick up a few extra shifts at Lou’s, maybe make enough for an apartment and I could live on my own.  That’d keep the secret well.

But it felt a lot like going into hiding.

My phone began to ring, and I answered without looking at the screen.

“Hey it’s y/n”

“y/n, y/n come over!” Stiles’ enthusiastic voice came through, and I began to shuffle out of bed and pull on a pair of red socks.

“Okay what is it?” I asked, rushing down the steps, phone in hand and in search of shoes to wear.

“The letter from that detective place- it’s- just come here as fast as you can!”

“Okay I’m out the door”” I yelled, hanging up as I ran through the neighborhood.  The shoes I’d picked, flats, were not exactly the best for sprinting, and soon I was wheezing but in a  few minutes I’d arrived at Stiles’ house, clutching my stomach, and rolling my ankles to relieve the pain in my feet.  I opened the door, and Stiles was pacing by the stairwell.

“It’s from George Washington University” Was all he said, holding out an envelope to me.  My eyes widened as I stared at him.

“That’s the letter-”

“This is the letter” He confirmed, begin to chew at his nails.

“Have you opened it?” He shook his head rapidly.

“No, no I wanted you to do it I want you to- will you open it?” I hesitantly stepped forward, taking the letter with trembling fingers.

“Slowly or quickly?” I asked.  Stiles shrugged, still biting his nails and shaking his head.  “How about on the count of three?” I suggested.  He nodded, and I took in a deep breath.  “One… two… three!” I ripped it open and hastily pulled out the paper.  “Mieczyslaw Stilinski we are proud to inform you that you have been enrolled-” I stopped reading, my excited squeal taking over as I jumped up and down, shaking Stiles as he grinned so big his face probably hurt.

“I got in!”

“You got in!” I screamed happily, and his arms wound around my waist, lifting me and spinning me around in the air.  We were both yelling and laughing, and it just felt… good.  One of us achieved something actually worth everything.  One of us will live an amazing life.  When he set me down, I was catching my breath from the immense enthusiasm that was just surging through my bloodstream.

“Have you heard back from Corcoran yet? Miss school of the arts” He grinned and tickled my sides.  I laughed, but shook my head.

“No not yet, but any day now I’m sure” I said, mustering the best smile I could.  Stiles gave a pout.

“It better, I can’t go across the country without you” My face grew pink I’m sure, as a wave of guilt came over me.

“Don’t worry Stiles, it’ll come in soon I’m sure” I said, smiling and nodding again.  Then put my hands up on his shoulders, shaking and squeezing him slightly.  “You got into your dream school Stiles” I said, giving him a real smile.  “I’m so proud of you” He smiled and hugged me close.  I buried my nose in the crook of his neck.  “I’m so proud of you” I repeated, a few tears in my eyes.

“I’m proud of you too y/n”

It felt like someone grabbed my heart and squeezed it.

“But I haven’t done anything” I said, pulling away.  Stiles gave me a half smile.

“You have” He said surely.  “And you still will”

I could nearly see my heart in the hand of a black leather glove, spurts of blood dripping and the pink flesh being squished through the cracks of their fingers.  The guilt was more than I could bear.

We’d decided on celebrating later, with Scott, Allison, and Lydia by going out to dinner.  But for now him and I just plopped on the couch and picked out something to watch.  It was probably two minutes in when I abruptly asked if he had any popcorn.

“Yeah I always do” He said, standing up.

“I’ll make it I know where it is” I said, and made my way to the kitchen, grabbing the bag and ripping the plastic off faster than you can say craving.  I put the bag into the microwave and tapped my foot impatiently as it began to slowly pop.  When it was ready I dumped the bag into a large plastic bowl and made my way back to the living room.  Stiles pushed play on the show and I laid down across his lap, my head on the arm rest.  I set the bowl on my belly, and Stiles snatched a few pieces.

“This show’s sorta dumb” He said as we were both eating my snack.  But I didn’t make a scene about literally needing to eat it and needing to eat it now.  Because then he’d start asking questions.  Stiles is a smart guy, he’d figure out the tie between an abrupt popcorn craving and getting sick a lot.

“It is” I replied, trying to eat quickly.

“Why do we watch it?” I shrugged.

“Because we watched everything else” I responded.  It was quiet as we just watched intently.  The people were all fighting now, trying to kill the girl in the pale blue dress.  I hadn’t caught onto her name yet, she wasn’t really an important character.  But I jumped when one of them drove a sword through her stomach.  She died crying to her lover about a baby he never knew about.  My heart rate was so fast I thought it would leap from my chest and plop into the bowl on my belly.  I looked to it, and shifted it off of my stomach and onto the floor.  It was empty anyways.

I must’ve fallen asleep, because my eyes felt heavy when I opened them.  I yawned and stretched, taking in the brightness of the room.  The tv read would you still like to continue watching Netflix? I fumbled for the remote sitting next to Stiles, and turned it off.  Then rolled over and curled back against him.  He was passed out, his head sitting on the back of the couch as his soft snores filled the room.  I chuckled quietly, pillowing my head on his arm, breathing in his scent.  I would miss that a lot when he’s away.  His hand moved, brushing across my cheek and stroking through my hair just barely.  He wasn’t awake enough to do much else but comb my hair.  So I just smiled a little and fell back asleep.

I was dressed in a black dress that fell a little above my knee, long lace patterned sleeves that stopped at my wrists.  It was a nice restaurant, so Lydia and Allison came over to get ready with me.  Lydia was curling her hair at my vanity, and Allison was sat on my bed, already ready to go.  I had to hand it to her, she always was flawless.  They both were.  But Allison just zipped up a white dress that hugged her just the right way and she combed nonchalantly through her hair and she was ready.  While Lydia and I took our time, she was just.. Ready.

“So MIT Lyd, we’re celebrating you here too” I chuckled, but she rolled her eyes.

“I knew I was going there since I was ten y/n, this isn’t about me, it’s about Stiles” She told me.  I smiled at her, still feeling proud of the strawberry blonde.  “How about you? Hear back from your art school?” I bit my lip, looking at Allison for a moment.

“Um, yes actually” I said softly.

“You did?” Allison asked in shock.

“Sort of?” I said, walking over to my desk.  Lydia raised a brow, releasing her last curl and turning off the iron rod.

“y/n.. What does sort of mean?”

“Well, well I got a letter” I said, opening a drawer, and pulling out an envelope.

“WHAT!?” Both Allison and Lydia yelled.

“I haven’t opened it-”

“Why not?” Lydia asked, and I looked down to the paper with my name on it.

“I… I’m scared”

“Honey I’m sure you got in” Lydia assured, stepping forward and putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.  I swallowed thickly.

“That’s what I’m afraid of” I whispered.  Her brows cinched together, and now Allison had gotten off of the bad to stand next to me.

“I don’t understand” Lydia said, shaking her head slightly.

“I can’t go to Corcoran because…” I said quietly again.  Lydia waited patiently for me to finish.  “Because I’m pregnant” Her brows raised, but no one said anything.

“Okay” Eventually she murmured out.  “Stiles’?” My head snapped up, and despite the situation I let out a choked laugh.

The next twenty minutes was the three of us sitting on the floor and me spilling about the situation.  I felt a lot more comfortable now, explaining the story to Lydia knowing that I’d already done this once and Allison made me feel so cared about and protected that I wasn’t afraid this time.  It took some further talks when she asked why Stiles couldn’t know, but eventually we reached an understanding with each other.

“Are you sad that you won’t be going to DC together like you planned?” Lydia asked as I went through my jewelry.

“Yeah… yeah it’s one of the worst parts” I replied with a frown.  But the baby is due in early February” I said.  “So he’ll be gone for school while I’m visibly pregnant, and I’ll give the baby up for adoption and it’ll all work out okay” I said with a grin.  Lydia gave me a sad smile.

“What about your dream school?” My heart fell at her sad tone.

“I’ll take online college courses, I’ll still get a degree, and that’s… that’s what’s important” I think I said this more for me than her.  Not that it worked.

“I wish I was sticking around to help you out” Lydia told me.

“It’s alright, I’ve got Alli here and I know how to take care of myself fine” I said with a watery smile.  “Thank you so much Lydia, both of you, you’re the greatest friends a girl could have” ‘

Cue group hug as I held back tears to not ruin my makeup.

I walked into the restaurant, behind Lydia and next to Allison as the waitress led us to our table.  My eyes were scanning over the beautiful place.  It was like in the movies.  Red velvet looking floors muffling the sound of our heels.  Murals on the walls of gorgeous women, most having to do with flowers in their hair or scattered on their skin.  Even the light fixtures were designed like chandeliers.

“Here’s your table” I barely heard the woman say, still staring all around me.  I’d managed to turn myself around, gazing at the tables with candles, and smooth white tablecloths.  There was even live music, cellos, violins, an elegant grand piano.

“Wow” I spun around nervously upon the voice, and smiled anxiously at Stiles.

“Hey” I said, giving him a more genuine smile.

“You-you look really nice y/n” I looked down at my dress and short black boot wedges.

“Thanks” I replied, surely blushing.  “You cleaned up nice yourself” I said, nodding to his deep blue button up and khakis.  Stiles couldn’t bite back his smile as he put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his shoes.

“Whenever you two are done” Lydia chirped.  “I’d like to talk about this school of yours, Stiles” I giggled softly, making my way to the seat next to Allison at the circular table.  But Stiles beat me, pulling it out.  I raised my brows as I couldn’t stop another giggle, but sat in the seat.  He pushed in the chair and sat next to me.  Lydia on his other side, Scott next to her, and then Allison.  It was the perfect sized table for us.

Allison held my hand under the table the entire night.  As Stiles talked about his excitement for GWU and about how him and I were gonna visit all the monuments in DC, maybe even get an apartment together because god knows he sucks at laundry.  Everytime he smiled my way, saying how excited he was for us to slay college together, I squeezed Allison’s hand, but nodded reassuringly to Stiles.

Food came and we ate our soups and salads as well as whatever expensive meal we bought.  Scott talked about going to UC Davis, and how he’s mostly excited to be able to stick around with Allison.  Lydia MIT was too far from the shopping in NYC, and Allison spoke little of how she was staying in Beacon Hills for community college.  But that she would manage.

I was comfortable, until the waitress came over with a glass of celebratory champagne for us, saying one glass wouldn’t kill some underage teens who sure deserved it.  I gave a secret look to Allison, knowing I’d have to think of some excuse for not wanting any.  She’d poured Lydia and Stiles’ glass, then went to pour one for me, but I held up my hand and shook my head.

“No thank you, not for me” I said.  She nodded simply and gave the glass to Allison.  Stiles gave me a funny look.

“Since when do you turn down free booze l/n?” Stiles asked.

“First of all, it’s not really booze, it’s champagne, and it’s not free” I said.  “Second of all, last time I drank I ended up sleeping with Theo” I gagged on his name, but luckily no bile rose in my throat.

“One glass isn’t going to get you drunk” Stiles said, brows furrowed.  I began to squeeze Alli’s hand, just to know I wasn’t alone at this table.  But I shrugged to Stiles.

“I just don’t want to be reminded of it” I said coldly.

But the cravings and morning sickness told me I’d be reminded of it for the rest of my life.

“Hey, y/n?” I was stood outside on the curb, trying to enjoy the crisp nightly California breeze.  Allison had gone home with Scott, and Lydia, my ride home was in the bathroom inside.  I turned to Stiles, who’d just walked outside next to me.

“Hi Stiles” I said softly, not protesting him being near.  It was strange how he brought me comfort, but every time he was around I just felt guilty.

“I’m sorry if I upset you, I don’t want to force you to do anything and that’s probably what it sounded like I was trying to do-”

“Don’t apologize” I whispered, eyes falling to the gleaming city around me.  It was prettier in these parts of Beacon Hills.

“I just feel bad it was dumb of me-”

“Stiles” My voice cracked on his name and he turned to me instantly.  I did as well, but was unable to look up to his eyes.  Mine were watering as I stared at out feet, toes inches from touching.  “Stiles I have to tell you something” I whispered.  He nodded and hald out both hands for me, but I wrapped my own arms around myself, refusing to hold them.


“I didn’t get into Corcoran” I said.  I looked up at him through my eyelashes, and his features visibly fell.

“Wh- you didn’t?” He sounded out of breath, and a few tears spilled onto my cheeks.

“No… no I didn’t” i whispered.

“How.. how long have you known? I don’t understand how did you not get in the site said you qualified-!”

“Stiles you’re yelling” I said, looking around at passing by people, of the upper class might I add, scowling at me for causing a scene.  He sighed, and put his hands on my shoulders.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out” I pulled out of his hold, and shook my head.

“You’re going to George Washington, Stiles” I whispered.  He began to shake his head, and more tears flowed from my eyes.

“y/n not without-”

“It’s your dream school” I choked.  “It’s all you’ve ever wanted” Stiles’ brows furrowed, and his eyes swelled with tears.  “I’ll be here when you’re back” I reached my hands up, curling them on the base of his neck, running along his shoulders and back to his collarbone softly.  “There’s FaceTime, and you’ll be back for the summer” You told him.  “We’ve still got a month left of this summer, we’ll make it count, right?” He nodded, and my hands curled around his jaw.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get in” He murmured, and I sniffed.

“Me too” I whispered back, eyes flicking up to his.  “But hey, maybe that means it wasn’t meant to be”

“But your paintings they’re-”

“Not good enough” I finished.  “Don’t bother with flattery now Stiles” I let out a bitter chuckle, and his own hands cupped my cheeks.  I sighed, pulling my lips into half a smile.

“But they were perfect” I shook my head.

“Not by their stand-”

“But they were” He said, voice final.  I accidentally let out a sharp breath, the tears taking over.  “I’m sorry y/n, out of everyone, you deserved it most” I leaned up, and he pursed his lips.  I buried my head in his shoulder, and Stiles hesitantly hugged me.

“Hey y/n ready to- oh” Lydia stopped as she exited the building and I pulled away from his hug.

“Yeah I’m ready to go” I said softly.  I nodded to Stiles, then followed behind her to her car.

The whole ride home, I was sure she wanted to ask what happened between Stiles and I, but thankfully she didn’t.  One of my favorite things about Lydia? She knows when someone doesn’t feel like answering questions.

She dropped me off, told me to take it easy and that she had a nice night, then drove off again.  I went upstairs, unzipping my dress, and pulling on a pair of cotton shorts.  Unclipping my bra was probably the best thing I felt in the past week.  I put on an old band tee shirt and wiped my face clean of makeup.  I was about to crawl into bed, when my eyes landed on something on the floor.

My envelope.  I hastily made my way across the room, picking it up, and hooking my index finger into the flap of the letter.  I paused.  If I threw it away now, I’d never have to know.  Never have to know if I lied to Stiles, if I truly was not good enough, never have to know if what could have been, actually could have.  But if I left it closed… I would always wonder.  I’d never know, I’d never be satisfied.

I ripped open the envelope, quickly yanking out the folded piece of paper.

Dear y/n l/n” I read aloud.  “We are privileged to inform you that you have been enrolled in the next semester at the Corcoran School of Arts-”

My hand clamped over my mouth, the paper shaking as my whole body trembled.  I sunk to the floor against the bed.  I’ve never screamed while crying before, but I sure felt helpless now.

Maybe it was the hormones and mood swings.

Maybe it was because now I’ve let everyone down.

oh no she lied to stiles, what will come of that? 

tagged: @morganschiebel @bunnyboo10154 and @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday

note to the readers: lying is bad! ;)

xoxo ~ jordie

anonymous asked:

Hey I wanna thank you for speaking out against pedophilia on here because it really seems like an "acceptable" thing on here like either no one cares or they're a part of it and see no harm in it and it makes me so angry and I'm glad I'm not the only one disgusted by it

I think most people here know it’s wrong, but second guess their own feelings and discomfort towards it due to the way more vocal users weasel around and excuse it, and I think there ends up being a lot of people scared to speak up.

I also think it’s partly due to the way this site gages the seriousness of issues as all being of the same level as eachother reguardless of what it is (consitering how many people consiter pedophilia within fandom communities “shipping dscourse”).

Maybe I’m being optimistic, but I think the people who are disgusted by it but are scared to get involved in the end of the day outnumber those who truely think its acceptable.

Damian’s Coeliac Saga ~Pt.1

A/N: So after @its-a-goddamn-heartbreak and I discussed how Damian found out about his gluten intolerance, we essentially planned an entire multichapter fic about it - and so I’m writing it! Here is part one, get ready for angst, pain and just general torture of 14 year old Damian (and fucking snarky 12 y/o Jude). I hope you enjoy ~ more will follow in days to come!

           “Damian, Damian!” A hand shook his shoulder roughly and he opened his eyes blearily to see his mother looking down at him, frustration on her face.

           “Mmmm…. What?” He mumbled, moving slightly in bed to get away from his mum’s hand.

           “It’s quarter past eight!” She replied briskly. “You need to get up, you’re going to be late for school.”

           “Alright, alright…” He placated, moving his cosy bed covers away from his face.

           “I thought you wanted a shower this morning,” she’d begun to move to the door.

           “I did…” Damian said, sitting up in his bed and feeling that sudden woozy sensation which accompanies moving too quickly.

           “You’re not going to have enough time,” she shook her head, “you’ll just have to put up with it for a day. Come on, out of bed! I’ll put the kettle on so you can have a cup of coffee before you leave!”

           “Okay,” he rubbed his hand across his face as his mum left his bedroom. He was just so tired… He couldn’t explain it either; he’d gone to bed relatively early and hadn’t done any extra study or anything. He knew that being in fourth year, with the imminent reality of exams which could make or break his future, was going to be tough, but he hadn’t thought it would be this hard.

           “I’m not hearing any movement!” His mum called from downstairs.

           “Alright!” He shouted, and dragged himself out of bed. He couldn’t explain why he felt so tired… It wasn’t just tonight either, but for the past couple of weeks he’d felt like he was teetering on the edge of exhaustion – and despite knowing his goal of getting in to study medicine, he hadn’t quite been able to make his brain do what he wanted… He felt like weights had been stitched under his skin as he dragged on his school uniform.

           His mum had left him a mug of coffee and a slice of toast on the counter, but he couldn’t face taking more than a few bites while downing his cup of coffee.

           “Good morning sleeping beauty!” Jude smirked and make a mock curtsey towards Damian, before picking his own slice of toast up.

           “Shut up,” Damian replied curtly, placing his mug into the dishwasher. “Hurry up, we need to leave in two minutes.”

           “Says the boy who got out of bed ten minutes ago!” Jude scoffed with his mouth full, but Damian chose to ignore him and headed to clean his teeth.

           In the whiter light of the bathroom Damian was confronted by how awful he looked – his skin pale, and dark circles bloomed underneath his eyes. He tried to ignore looking at himself in the mirror as he rapidly cleaned his teeth, then grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Jude was standing at the bottom of the stairs, ready to go.

           “Come on, let’s go,” Jude jostled impatiently while Damian set their house alarm.

           “Hold your horses!” Damian snapped as he fished his key out from his bag and locked the door.

           The morning was crisp and bright, the sun was low as they walked down their road and turned along the main road towards the end of the street that Cain and Eden lived in. In the morning light, Damian could see the white blonde hair of his best mate. Jude had sped up to meet Eden, and the two of them were already quarter of the way up the hill before Damian even made it to Cain.

           “You alright?” Cain asked as Damian caught him and the two began making their way up to the school.

           “Yeah…” Damian said. “You?”

           “Yeah,” Cain nodded. “How did you find the maths homework?”

           Damian’s heart skipped a beat, and he clapped his hand to his forehead with considerable force. Cain was looking at him strangely, his eyebrows raised.

           “I totally forgot!” If it was possible for him to feel any worse then this would be the moment, but he already felt so weighed down that it was impossible to grind him down anymore.

           “That’s not like you…” Cain commented, his eyebrows raised. “Were you busy last night?”

           “Kind of,” Damian lied, running his hands through his hair. “I’ll have to do it during registration.” He couldn’t believe that had slipped his mind, but being so tired it felt like things were slipping from his brain in a manner beyond his control.

           The loud, boisterous chatter in his registration class made it nigh impossible for him to concentrate on the simultaneous equations he should have solved last night. Cain was trying not to seem worried, because he’d never been in this situation; he’d watched other classmates frantically trying to finish homework but never Damian… He couldn’t help but notice that his friend’s face looked a little waxy, maybe ill – but Damian was the last person you could suggest the possibility of being ill to, he’d simply ignore any comments until Cain gave up trying.

           “How are you getting on?” Cain asked, aware that the bell to signify the start of their first period was imminent.

           “I’m – nearly – done,” Damian finished with a flourish, then sank his head down onto his arm.

           “Are you okay?” Cain was slightly alarmed by this action as it was so out of character for his friend. Slowly Damian raised his head, he didn’t look okay.

           “Just tired,” Damian shrugged, although apart from the lingering tiredness that had been around since he woke up, there was a strange discomfort in his abdomen. He wasn’t quite sure whether that was because he’d only had three bites of toast along with his coffee, or for another reason.

           The bell rang, interrupting Cain’s ability to question further as he’d risen immediately. Cain didn’t sit next to Damian in maths, but he couldn’t help but cast anxious glances over in his direction. Damian really didn’t look at all well – his eyes were glazed over and Cain could tell that he wasn’t concentrating on hi work which was most unlike him.

           From the position Cain sat, he could see Damian’s hand at his stomach and a grimace on his pale face. Perhaps he was coming down with something? Cain barely managed to focus on his own work as he thought over what might be going on with his friend. What if he really was burning himself out? Cain had joked about that with Damian for as long as he’d known him, but he’d never considered that it might happen. As they left class for break Cain couldn’t quite decide whether to say anything, but before he got the chance Damian said something about going to physics a bit early and disappeared.

           Damian felt like he was being dragged, suspended through treacle, as time went so slowly, and he was so tired. By the time he’d gotten through physics by the skin of his teeth, and sat next to the radiator in his English class he was ready to give up. He wanted to go home, his stomach felt weird and he couldn’t tell whether he was overheating because he had been sat next to the radiator or for another reason. Then he saw Cain’s face at lunch time, and he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of wanting to go home.

           “Are you coming to the art room for lunch?” Cain questioned; one of the teacher’s opened their room for some people to study in, and the two of them sometimes went along. Damian weighed it up in his head, he could have a bit of rest for an hour and maybe eat something to bring his blood sugar back up; then he could reassess whether he wanted to go home or not.

           “Yeah, okay,” Damian nodded. He followed Cain along to the art studio, perching on one of the high stools and resisting the urge to put his head down onto the table straight away. Watching Cain unpacking his art stuff from his folder, Damian pulled out the Tupperware box that his mum had packed his lunch into. He didn’t recall a time when his usual ham sandwich had looked more unappealing, but he took a bite anyway, telling himself that it’d make him feel better.

           “Are you alright?” Cain asked, normally Damian would have some of his work spread out on the table while Cain sketched.

           “Yeah,” Damian answered, although his jaw felt like it was wired shut as he tried to chew on his sandwich.

           “Are you sure?” Cain persisted. “You’ve been kinda quiet and off all day – I mean, normally you’d be trying to explain to me how sine waves work in physics or something…”

           “I’m just tired that’s all…” Damian passed it off. “What are you drawing?”

           Cain pursed his lips for a second, then seemed to accept Damian’s explanation and began to talk about shading or something while Damian tried really hard to pay attention.

           He didn’t bother with the second half of his sandwich, but sipped on his bottle of water, but barely ten minutes later he felt like his stomach was expanding. He tried to shift the waistband of his school trousers, but there was nowhere he could move it to that didn’t hurt. He placed his head in his hand and took some deep breaths in through his nose, and when that didn’t help he wrapped his free arm around his stomach.

           “Damian?” Suddenly Cain’s voice was right next to him and he felt Cain’s hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

           “I don’t feel good…” Damian whispered honestly, only then realising that he’d closed his eyes. “Brrruuuurp! Oh! Excuse me…” The deep belch broke past his lips before he could stop it and his hand sprang to his mouth.

           “I thought you were looking off… Do you feel sick?” Cain questioned, Damian nodded slightly – he wasn’t quite sure how to explain the strange puffy sensation inside his abdomen. “Come on, I think we should go to the office.”

           “Just – buuurp – give me a minute please…” Damian requested, then he heard Cain packing his stuff up for him.

           “Let’s get you home,” Cain coaxed him off the stool, “I’ll carry your bag, you just have to walk, okay?”

           “Thanks Cain,” Damian muttered, the weird sensation in his stomach causing more pressure every second.

           “It’s absolutely no problem,” Cain assured.

Games - Part 8 - S.M

I will be wrapping this one up soon.

part 7 here 

I run until the air in my own lungs feels like its choking me, till It’s coming down in smalls gasps and my throats constricts to just get a feel of it.  But I continue to run and run. I run to the bridge. My feet hit the hard floor painfully but it’s a pain I welcome, I hadn’t realised I had no shoes on till I had run. As soon as my feet hit the bridge I stop, I breathe once. Twice. It’s not helping. The rain slowly starts.

I run my fingers over the cold rusted metal of the bridge’s railing, once I reach a bump in the railing I stop. I stare down at the body of the water and I close my eyes. I breath and I breath again. I breath in the dirty nature that’s surrounding me, I breath in the deep dark water under me, I breath in the freshness of the rain and I breath in the deadly calm of the place. I just want the voice in my head to stop and stop.

“shut up, shut up” I mutter hitting my head.

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Re: The Blue One (3/3)

Part 2 here:

I’m actually racing against time to finish this since I have some brainstorming to do and come up with something to write for Wahid and Gilas’ character tributes, and tentatively for Pirena and Ybrahim from Lira and Mira’s POVs.

Part 3/3

Big-time disappointments, moving on (?) and final words

Encantadia has been smooth sailing, always at the top of the trends list, fans were happy and noisy and are just generally having a good time in social media…

Then came the final battle of book 1, the Hadezar arc. Through the help of Ether and Arde, Hagorn brought an entire zombie army from the underworld called Hadezars. They were impossible to kill, and their only weakness was another ivtre, obviously Hitano can’t do it alone, and the fire, water and spirit gems were in Hagorn’s possession. Soon Encantadia will be doomed, as queen, Amihan had to make the biggest and most difficult sacrifice—die and become an ivtre. Everyone including me thought it was all part of the plot, the original Amihan died but her will power brought her back to life thus earning the privilege to create her own destiny, or very much likely I assumed was it will be Pirena who will take the final blow to save Amihan thus redeeming her character in the story, I went for that route since Pirena died in the original series as well, and character redemption is life. And then came this rumor about Kylie being pregnant which is the reason why Amihan will die in the show, then this BTS photo surfaced on social media, a photo where everyone was mourning for the death of (presumably) Amihan, of course the fans were alarmed, everyone went crazy. The first time I heard this rumor, I dismissed it as a hoax, I thought it was the bashers’ lame way of putting Kylie down, but this rumor had been the talk of the town over the weekend and I was getting alarmed that neither Kylie nor the network has spoken about it, but I decided to wait for a confirmation. Finally it came, it was confirmed, Kylie is pregnant with Aljur’s baby.

Initial reaction: shock, and then it turned into worry, and then disappointment, a huge disappointment…

I’m not going to sugar coat and say that I was happy for Ky the first time I heard it, I was terrified. I usually don’t give a fuck when it comes to showbiz rumors, or even an artista’s personal life unless I really, really like the actor/actress. Which happens only 1% of the time, who cares? It’s their life and I’ve got mine, that’s how I usually think. It just so happens that Kylie is part of that 1% and heck she’s playing Amihan—AMIHAN. The idea of Amihan no longer existing in the show was probably the most dreadful thing I have ever heard as a fan, I don’t want Kylie to leave, I don’t want Amihan dead, I want to see all four sang’gres kicking some ass together like before. I want to see all four sisters grow like in the original trilogy, that until the very end they were together. DMR and SD had to justify their decision, fans were fuming and sending the prod, and Aljur with hateful tweets, comments, etc. most of the fans blamed Aljur saying he ruined Kylie’s career, blah, blah, blah. I’m not going to be plastic, I don’t like Aljur that much even before he started dating Kylie, don’t ask why—I just don’t okay? We all have that feeling when you feel some sort of dislike towards someone even if they’re not doing anything to you. And if you ask me if I think that Aljur brought Kylie’s career down, yes I think so—that was my initial response. But I never said anything against Aljur, I never machine gunned him with hateful words whatsoever, I chose to defend the guy. Why? First and foremost, I hate being surrounded by negativity, it’s suffocating and it’s making me anxious, in short, it drives me nuts, and my social media is flooded with so much of that and I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. Second, what will I get from bashing Aljur? What will I get from shooting fires against his fans who are doing their best to defend him? Third and last, I feel bad for the guy, he’s being hated on so much yet he chose to be silent and let everyone judge him. That sucks. Big time. DMR’s words assuring everyone that “no one is replacing Kylie” helped ease the tension, I was relieved. Maybe they came up with a plan to #keepAmihan in the show. Nevertheless I continued following Amihan’s story.

But hell to the fuck no…

I knew Amihan was going to die, but held on to that part when Emre granted Amihan full control of her destiny. Unfortunately a noticeable plot hole was…well…noticed by fans including I. Emre allowed Amihan and Kahlil to go back to Encantadia to finish their mission and that is to kill the Hadezars and finally restore peace in Encantadia. But staying long wasn’t a part of Emre’s package deal, the time was very limited and I was like, wait—what? That was a big “?” that I still don’t get until now. Then this sarkosi thing happened, the plot hole worsened, granting Amihan the privilege to write her own destiny wasn’t really a prize for sacrificing so much for Encantadia, it was a curse. Her soul will take another body and she’ll have no recollection of her past life, in short, a completely different character. That was the solution they came up to keep Amihan’s story going. For the man she loves and their daughter, Amihan took the risk. That’s how Ariana came to life. If you really think of it, it’s an interesting story, problem here is the actress portraying Ariana, who by the way is technically Kylie’s REPLACEMENT! Yay! (insert sarcastic smile + slow clap). No one is replacing Kylie, yep, sure I’m buying it (sigh). Anyway, Arra’s performance since her first appearance ranges from “so-so” to “is that even acting?” kind of performance. I saw potential, but she hasn’t really showed her best so far. She reminds me so much of Kylie in her early days as Amihan. And she’s not even working it with Ruru, God! I hate to admit but she’s worse than Kylie, and Gabbi, Gabbi too during her pabebe Alena days. She’s always disconnected, always giving that confused look, the way she delivered her lines sounded like she was reading it straight from the script itself. And don’t even make me talk about Ariana being motherly towards Lira because I’m frustrated af with how she did nothing to save Lira from last night’s ep. But anyway, it would be unfair for me not to give Arra a chance, after all she’s working hard and she deserves to be given a chance, so yes, chance—until the story ends.

I guess my biggest frustration is that the one who gave justice to Amihan’s character is also the same person who gave the biggest injustice to her ever…

Do I think Kylie ruined the entire show? Do I think that Kylie brought the entire team down? Am I still disappointed of how Amihan’s story turned out? Have I moved on from this whole preggy issue? All of it are a big YES. I think it’s unfair for people to put the blame on DMR, SD and the entire team for changing the story’s route so suddenly. Kylie is old enough to make decisions for herself and every decision has it’s consequence, and the consequence is sacrificing Amihan’s character and everything they planned for her in the show. To be fair on both sides, I’d say it’s not bad to be passionate about love, but for me, one should never let love be a way to affect others negatively. I guess the moral lesson here is to think before doing anything, picture the possible out come of whatever you’re planning to do. Don’t give that “it just happened” excuse, life is a matter of choices. The way you live your life is how you make decisions. Whatever the outcome is, learn to stand for it. I’m glad Kylie and Aljur did. Yes, Kylie brought the entire team AND the fandom down, she is committed to the show, and doing Encantadia requires a lot of team work, it’s a chain reaction, when one messes up, the rest will follow. Honestly speaking if I am the writer, I will be so, so frustrated. I will be pained to change everything I worked so hard for over the years just because of one cast member who sadly can’t be a part of the show anymore, I will forever be frustrated about it, for someone who is passionate about writing, his or her craft is a part of her, it’s not just her imagination that’s in it, every poem, essay, story or even fan fiction represents the writer’s heart and soul, to others it may seem worthless, but to every writer, it’s their craft, a priceless piece of art, and to see it crumble before your very eyes is the most painful thing in the world. On the bright side, Ms Suzette and DMR deserve every fan’s admiration for taking this as a challenge, these two are strong enough not to let anything or anyone ruin their masterpiece, they worked so hard and continue to work hard, for that I have such high respect for these two.

For the third yes, I wouldn’t really say that I am disappointed, I am more of unsatisfied. Dearest Kylie, we share the same wish for Amihan. I want Amihan to get the life that she deserves, she sacrificed so much for everyone and if there’s anyone who deserves to be happy it’s Amihan. I would love to see her and Ybrahim get married, and live happily with their daughter, watch her grow and become mature, I would love to see Ybrahim kicking every man’s ass who tries to take his baby girl away from him, I want to see Amihan give birth to a second, third, fourth—I don’t care how many YbraMihan kids, Lira watching her little brothers and sisters like a boss. I want to witness how Lira tells her parents’ love story to her daughter and granddaughter if she’s lucky enough to live that long, and finally reunite with them in Devas when the time comes. As of now, Amihan’s story is very far from what we both hope for, her future is very vague. What I do wish right now is for Arra to own the spotlight the way Kylie did or even better, maybe then I’ll start enjoying this whole sarkosi plot, and I am holding on to that slim chance, that Kylie will appear in the finale as Amihan, and reunite with her family once again. In case you’re wondering, I fought for Amihan, I fought so hard for both her and Kylie to stay, but sometimes, things just doesn’t go our way, we have to let go in exchange for something better—no, let’s hope for something better.

Right now, I can say that I am genuinely happy for Kylie, having a baby is the best gift any woman could receive. Not everyone is given the privilege to become a mother, I do wish that Kylie will have an easy pregnancy and for her baby to be healthy. Would love to see her do a project with Ru and Mikee in the future, but for now, I’m happy to binge watch her YouTube videos and get inspiration from her blog posts. Maybe someday I’ll be able to write a book as well.

Avisala meiste, see you around Amihan! E correi diu, remember my words, you have me no matter what, hanggang wakas.

An Unexpected Adventure - Part 1 (Extreme Randomiser Nuzlocke)

Hello, hello!! I’m super excited to be trying something new and this may actually help me finish a nuzlocke for once! I don’t really have anything to put here yet, in the parts to follow, I’ll list the Pokemon I have, and those that have sadly died, here! But, for now, here are the rules I am playing by!

First Part - You’re here friend!

1) Only one Pokemon from each Route can be caught. If it’s killed or runs away, you have missed your chance and must wait for the next route. (Static encounters, such as legendaries, count as a separate encounter.)
2) If a Pokemon faints, it’s dead. It must be deposited or released.
3) All Pokemon must be nicknamed to form a stronger bond.
4) All Pokemon have been randomised completely! This means typings, abilities, movesets and evolutions have all been changed! As have item placements and TMs.
5) Rules start once you first obtain Pokeballs (ie. next part)

I sighed, flicking through channels and rocking my feet to and fro in front of me on the cool, wooden floor. It was not unlike most other days I spent in the house those days, the outside world “too dangerous” and “too unpredictable”, the news reports of strange variations of Pokemon scaring everyone into their houses. I wasn’t too sure what the big deal was, in all honesty; sure, apparently there were reports of Weedle breathing the intense fire capable of burning down a couple of houses, but there were also Dragonite simply wanting to nap in trees and leaf piles.

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i do this. this is final pam. you remember how your backyard barbeque go, the smiths. pretty good it doesn’t seem. ha ha. i tell little joke. next time, you invite pam.


It’s a real get-together.

–Dogs of Future Past–


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Masterpost and FAQ


Can you believe I actually sat down and lined this personally I can’t

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ed sheeran / ÷ (Part 1)

(all were made by me)

listen to ÷ here:

like/reblog if you use to share with everyone else!

i had soooooo many requests for ed’s new album so here we go (this is only part one; part two and three will be coming very soon…)

also thanks so much for 9.5k !!


David Tennant + Tumblr [Part 1/6] (insp.)