her voicee

im so scared of being alone even tthought i live with so amny people i still feel like im aalone and sometimes i mess living with my dad and i miss being hit and being told how useless i am over and over because i know thats what i deserve,, even my mom is growing tired of me i can see it in her eyes and hear it ijn her voicee. i hate feeling ilike i dint belong anywhere i hate that none off my friends talk to me anymore even though i dont talk to them either i hate being heer andi hate how i cna feel my life getting away from me. im so tired adni  feel so ungrateful because one of my dearest friensd is suffering so much because he cant get his hormone replacement therapy and im so suicidal even though i got it. i have  no right to be like this. i just want to die