It’s kinda insane how “Instead” by Blake McGrath is like an anthem for all shows that queerbait their fandom because all those shows put the female character with a Dude that doesn’t deserve her.
(Feel free to had more ships)
AU: Years after Hook and Robin’s deaths, Regina and Emma realise they have fallen deeply in love, but are terrified of opening themselves up to love again. Until Emma finally confronts Regina and tells her how she feels.
My entry for day 2 of the Swan Queen Week, prompt “MILF”. Usual disclaimer applies. Thanks for reading!
If there was one thing Emma
Swan liked about her job as a sheriff in a town such as Storybrooke, it was
patrolling by car. The town was always pretty peaceful, except for the
occasional teenage quibble, dog running out of their master’s garden or Leroy drunkenly
wandering about, so those car rides were the perfect occasion to cruise through
town, greeting her neighbors and taking in the beautiful sight that was
As she turned a corner, she
saw a group of teenagers on the sidewalk to her left, right outside of the
park. She would normally simply drive past them and wave, but something struck
her as unusual. The teenagers were all standing perfectly still, too still for
it to be natural. She could practically feel the tension floating around, and
their immobility clearly screamed that they’d barely stopped doing something
reprehensible. She stopped her car and pretended to look at something on her
phone to sneak a look at the teens. There were half a dozen of them, mostly
boys and a couple of girls and – Emma raised an eyebrow at this – Henry. And
Henry didn’t look too pleased with whatever situation he was in: he kept
shooting angry looks at the boys in front of him and his fists were clenched so
tightly his knuckles were white. Upon seeing her normally so agreeable son so
upset, Emma decided to take the matter into her own hands and got out of the
“How’re you doing, kids?
You’re all having fun?” She asked as she walked towards them.
“Oh yeah, we’re having fun
all right, Sheriff Swan.” One of the boys said, a sarcastic smile playing on
his lips. She recognized him as some kid a year older than Henry, whose parents
lived a couple of blocks behind Granny’s diner. The boy – Edward? Ernest? – put
his arm around Henry’s shoulder, looking way too friendly for any of it to be
Henry hurriedly shrugged his
arm off from around his shoulders and took a step to the side, inching closer
to where his friends – the Zimmer siblings and Paige – were standing. He shot
the boy a death glare but still remained silent.
“Come on, Henry. We’re
friends, aren’t we?”
Emma definitely didn’t like
that boy’s tone, nor the way he was looking at her son. Her eyes met Henry’s,
but he looked away before she could try to convey any kind of message to him.
“Henry’s just being shy,
Sheriff. Maybe he’d like you to call his mommy?” taunted the boy.
“Don’t talk about my mother!”
Henry spat out. The boy shook his head and cackled, looking very pleased with
“Why, Henry? You don’t like it
when we bring up your lovely mommy, Mayor Milf?”
Everything after that
happened in a blur: in the blink of an eye, Henry had thrown himself at the boy
and it took all of Nicholas and Ava Zimmer’s strengths combined to hold him
back. The boy jumped back and one of his friends went to pat him on the back.
Emma instinctively stepped up to break any potential fighting, disoriented by
the fact her son had pretty much started a fight, as well as by the pleading
look Paige was throwing her. Henry’s eyes were throwing daggers and he
struggled for a few more seconds, until Paige went to place a hand on his arm
and told him to calm down. Emma raised an eyebrow at this, but any kind of question
this sparked would have to wait; she first had to keep Henry from jumping at
the other boy’s throat.
“What’s stopping you, pal?
Scared of your mom?”
“Shut up, Edgar! I swear, if
you don’t shut up about my family your little friends are gonna have to collect
your teeth from the sidewalk!”
Emma had never seen Henry so
angry. She could feel him tensing up again, and she knew this time his friends
wouldn’t be able to hold him back.
“Henry, what’s going on?”
She asked. “Come on kid, talk to me. I don’t want to have to take you to the
station for getting into a fight.” She pressed when he kept quiet.
“He… he called Mom…
disrespectful names… He said… He said she’s a MILF!” Henry managed through
“I’m only telling the truth!
Come on, everybody in this damn town knows this! Am I right, Sheriff Swan? You
must’ve noticed, I’ve seen you looking at her!”
That was when the boy –
Edgar, as Henry had called him – crossed a line for Emma. She would have let
the taunting slide, and she would have looked away from his obvious intention
to pick up a fight with Henry, but him saying those things about Regina were
just too much.
“What did you just say?” She
barked, whipping around and grabbing the teen by the arm. A flash of fear came
over his face, and Emma could practically see him think that he shouldn’t have
“I… I said…” he stuttered,
obviously anxious. Behind Emma, Paige snorted and Nicholas muttered something
she couldn’t hear.
“I heard you. Now you listen
to me: I never want to hear you, or any one of your buddies say anything like
that about women of Storybrooke in general, or Mayor Mills in particular.
Otherwise, as Henry so nicely put it, there’ll be consequences. You get that, pal? Did I make myself clear?”
The teenage boy swallowed
and nodded. “Yes ma’am. Cristal clear.”
Emma smiled with
satisfaction. “Good. Now all of you get out of here before I call your parents
to collect you and tell them exactly
what you’ve been up too.”
In a split second, the
teenagers had all scattered and run off to what Emma assumed were their
respective homes or another meeting spot, with the exception of Nicholas, Ava
and Paige, who said goodbye to Henry and Emma before taking off, with the
promise to text Henry shortly to figure out another hand out.
Emma and Henry were left
alone. She put her hand over Henry’s shoulder and smiled at him.
“You okay, Henry?”
“I’m fine, Ma. Thanks.” He
took a breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Why did you intervene?”
“I’m a Sheriff, kid. It’s my
job to prevent fights.”
“I mean, why did you defend
Mom like this? I figured you’d just tell Edgar to leave me alone and you’d
scold me for getting upset to the point of almost getting into a fight.”
“Well, I just don’t like
when people are disrespectful to your mother.” Emma was getting uncomfortable
with the whole situation, and she just wanted to drive Henry home quickly.
“But why my mom? Why do you
want to defend her honor like this? You’re usually not that bothered when it
comes to other people…”
“Henry, I – I don’t know,
okay? I just hate it when people think it’s okay to be rude to her, because
they feel justified in some way because of her past actions. Also, your mother
is a human being, not a piece of meat, and I seriously don’t want to think
about anyone wanting to – you know –
with the mother of my son, let alone another teenager.”
Emma blurted out the last
part without thinking, and even she seemed surprised by her words. Henry looked
startled at first, before smiling brighter than his mother had seen him smile
in a little while.
“Sooooo… Are you still gonna
pretend you don’t like Mom? Not even a little bit? I mean come on, Ma, it’s so
obvious you like her!” Nudging his mother, he added “I think I could allow you to call her a MILF, you know.”
Emma blushed and gently
shoved her son away. “Ew, Henry. Definitely not
the kind of talk I want to be having with you!” She glanced sideways at her
son, and the look of pure hope on his face made her think that, maybe, it
wouldn’t be so bad if she told Regina about the confusing feelings she’d always
had for her. Maybe.
AU of the fight
between Regina and the Queen. Regina gets injured and the Queen is surprised to
learn she cares. She calls the one person they both trust to look after her.
Split Queen angst and some Swan Queen feels. Hope you all enjoy :)
The noise makes her jump.
It shouldn’t. After all, all powerful and feared Evil Queens
don’t jump at loud noises. Not anymore.
Regina does. Did. Loud noises meant mother or worse and so
jumping was inevitable. She tamped it down over time but every now and then the
instinct would kick in, just a flinch here and there but those who paid
attention would see it.
The Queen knows who pays attention. She knows she should
have been paying attention too. This fight was with herself after all, which
means she knew how and where to hit, but in her anger she forgot about past
injuries. She forgot about warnings to try and avoid further head injuries.
She let her rage kick in and now…well now…Regina isn’t
moving at all.
lazing around in bed when her phone chirps. Before she can even reach for it,
it chirps again. Someone’s in a hurry.
We can’t go out tonight. I’m sorry. R.
her eyebrow. Okay, date night is cancelled, but why? She checks the other
I know you’re wondering why. You’ve done
nothing wrong, I just have the worst cramps. <3 R.
a valid reason for skipping date night. But it doesn’t mean Regina needs to
a shower, puts on shorts and a hoodie, drives to the store to get some
chocolate ice cream, mozzarella sticks (Regina’s ultimate food vice) and a
dozen red roses. Soon she’s parking in front of Regina’s house.
opens the door and first sees the roses. “Oh Emma,” she sniffles.
“You didn’t have to.”
my girlfriend, this is what I wanna do. I brought Netflix, a warm and comfy
massaging pillow,” she says pointing at herself, “and some goodies
from the store. May I join you and keep you company and maybe ease your pain a
doesn’t answer, she just pulls Emma inside and melts in her arms. “I
already feel so much better.”
“Regina, please, you don’t have to cast that curse. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not doing anything. I’m sorry for not fighting against our families. I’m sorry for not understanding what was happening right in front of me. It’s not too late. You can stop this madness. Ripping hearts. Cursing people. This is not who you are. I will fight for you. I will.”
Why I’m feeling good about Swan Queen endgame right now:
1) Emma literally made every possible excuse she could think of in that icky scene to get out of being “stabbed” by H00k’s “sword”. That was NOT the behavior of a woman in love driven mad by passion! She is still uncomfortable about sex with him, and I suspect the reasons will unfold later this season.
2) Emma blatantly lied to H00k when they were drinking at Granny’s. She didn’t just tell him a little white lie that she was okay. She lied big time and told him she went to see Archie (um…seems rather late and sudden to be having an appointment with the therapist, no?) and that everything was okay. Granted, you can tell that H00k is not totally buying it, but nonetheless, this shows that Emma is still holding back from being completely open with him. Their relationship does NOT have a solid foundation of trust.
3) Regina’s monologue, man. I made a much shorter post about it earlier tonight in my haste and excitement, but watching it again just really makes it all so much clearer! When Regina says that some see her as a hero, it’s no coincidence that they show Emma. And when she says, “I see my strength,” they show Emma staring at her trembling hand - showing her weakness. They are deliberately setting Emma and Regina up to be foils of one another. While Emma has been Regina’s savior, now it’s looking like it’s time for Regina to finally save Emma. And the cherry on top? The True Love Theme played over that whole sequence! But as soon as the scene shifted away from Emma and back to Regina and Snow on the bench, the music changes back to normal again. Lastly, Regina vows to start a new story - one that has a better ending than her last. Can we say SWAN QUEEN?!?!
All this talk about tattoos got me thinking…You know what would be just about perfect? After returning to Storybrooke, Regina learns that no one can leave and therefore she can’t be reunited with Henry & Emma. One night, in a melancholy mood and after a bit too much hard apple cider, she gets a tattoo of a swan feather on the underside of her right wrist as a reminder in moments when she is really down and distraught that ’You are where you need to be. Just take a deep breath’ and have faith that the savior will return to bring back the happy endings, hers included.
lol for the phone screenies on this, the only one where i used a text generator was for belle’s, but even that i kind of tweaked and edited a bit, but emma’s and ruby’s were from screenies on my own phone that i edited and messed around with
also lol i kinda wanted to give one of them an android but i didn’t wanna bother with having to bug my brother for screenies from his phone so blargh let’s just say they all have iphones because regina decrees it because apple products because apple
also snow’s joke was one i came up with while lying on the floor and it was funny at the time but idk if it’s still gonna be funny to anyone else oh well
As far as her health went, Regina was feeling significantly better. She’d recovered enough to walk short distances and heat up her own food. The journey down the stairs had been draining and dizzying, but it was rewarding to accomplish getting to the kitchen in one piece.
What soured today’s little victories was the fact that her magic was still severely limited. Lifting small objects still required effort and made her head and lungs hurt with the strain it caused.
Tonight, Christmas Eve of all nights, she was reduced to sitting on the sofa with Henry resting his head on her lap while holiday-themed Disney cartoons aired on the television.
“I miss Emma,” Henry sighed, “I wish I could hug both my moms for Christmas Eve.”
Regina still invades Emma’s personal space (like in season 1) but I see genuine fear in Emma whenever she does that e.g. in the first gif, Emma looked panicked and in the second one, Emma sort of backed away when Regina went up to her to hold her arms.
I read Emma as suffering from “gay panic” (not the writers themselves) and that’s why there is a world of difference in their interactions from season 1 and season 6.
The narrative tells us that SQ trust each other with their lives and are ready to die for each other. They should be able to hug like Snow/Emma, Snow/Regina or Zelena/Regina but they don’t… because they aren’t just platonic friends.