her story always makes me cry

2

I was slow to walk, you know… the doctors, even Father, they told Mother I would be fine in my own time. It would happen one day. But “one day” wasn’t fast enough for her. She couldn’t be the queen with the crippled, slow son. Not after Coriane gave the kingdom a prince like Cal, always smiling and talking and laughing and perfect. She had my nurse discarded, blamed her for my shortcomings, and took it upon herself to make me stand.

I don’t remember it, but she told me the story so many times. She thought it showed how much she loved me.

Sakura Haruno Fic Recommendations

I’m an admitted serial Sakura shipper. If there’s a single man in Konoha (or outside of it), you can almost bet I’ll find a way to somehow ship them. But honestly, even if I don’t necessarily ship them, I may find the story beautiful and put it here for others who ship them. Most are in the Naruto-verse but will be stated otherwise if not. 

Most, if not all, are Rated M. So be warned that almost all of them contain smut/adult content of some kind. I’m trying to branch out and read things that don’t contain smut but it’s a little challenging. I like steamy reads. 

Happy Reading!

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I hate her, except that I don’t hate her. I love her, but she makes me cry, she gives me headaches. She triggers my anxiety attacks and she blames me for things I didn’t do. She screams and gets mad at me over the smallest things. She has always treated me that way, and I know I’m acting just like her sometimes. I hate her for that, I hate her for screwing me up. She should have raised me but instead she just stood there and watched me become a mentally unstable girl. Thanks mom.
—  Excerpts of stories I’ll never finish// #202

me: yeah i love every rogue one member! cassian andor, chirrut imwe, baze malbus, bodhi rook, k2so and *looks at smudged writing on hand* gin earsore

The Opposite of Loneliness

Requested: the Reader discovers Reid with a book of social cues/making friends so that he can get her to like him.


Spencer gave her a spare key to his apartment a long time ago, when they first became good friends. Living only a few doors down, she is the one he entrusted to take care of his plants and make sure his fish don’t die while he’s away on a case. He’s been away for a few days when she notices the large package waiting for him at the front desk. The man behind the desk is familiar with their arrangement, and allows her to collect Spencer’s mail for him. Careful not to drop anything, she lets herself in and deposits everything on the coffee table in his living room.

It’s then that she notices the books stacked on the couch, and she can’t help but to look at the covers. Spencer never leaves books out like this. How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less; Emotional Intelligence: Socially Awkward No More; Improve Your Social Skills. The last one really strikes her – Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships and Deep Relationships. Is he lonely? Has he been hurting all this time and she never noticed? Next to the books is a ring of index cards, and though she feels bad snooping, she’s worried about him.

Picking them up, she briefly flips through them, expecting to find tips on making friends, or perhaps insights into his emotions. Instead, his messy handwriting has marked each card with short notes.

The Breakfast Club is a movie from the 80’s, directed by John Hughes, not a restaurant.
The phrase “Challenge Accepted” is from a TV show called How I Met Your Mother.
Tumblr is a website where people create customized blogs, not a cup to mix drinks in.
When she talks about Hamilton, she usually means the musical, not the historical canon.
Taylor Swift is not related to Jonathan Swift. She likes the video of Taylor Swift’s song mixed with the screaming baby goat. It makes her laugh.
Her favorite musician is Regina Spektor. Ode To Divorce always makes her cry – it reminds her of her parents. When it does, she doesn’t want to talk about it, but she does want someone to hold her hand.

That card makes her breath hitch in her throat, and stands paralyzed with them in her hands. Every index card is filled with pop culture references, but what’s more, they’re all her favorite things. One by one she flips through them, scanning for anything else, but they’re all her. He’s been taking notes on all the things she likes so that he’ll understand what she’s saying or what she’s referencing.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” The sound of his voice makes her jump, and she turns to see him standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He’s been home this whole time? He must have gotten back late last night, as he always calls her to let her know when he’s returned. When he realizes what she has in her hands, his eyes grow wide, and his mouth falls open. Horror-stricken. “Wh-what… how did – where did you get that?”

“It was on the couch,” she says softly. In sharp contrast, her heart is beating too loudly, so loud she cannot think. It’s hard to breathe. The only thing she can think to do is flee. “Um – I didn’t think you were home. I brought your mail. I’ll just be going, then.”

She starts towards the door, but just before she can open it, something stops her. That title flashes in her mind – Stop Being Lonely. What will he think if she runs away now? So she turns back to look at him, still rooted to floor in the doorway of his bedroom.

“Those index cards- what are they for?”

The sigh he heaves is so deep it seems he’s exhaled his very spirit. He rests his head in his hands and mumbles, “They’re references to pop culture. Things I wanted to learn.”

Fingers shaking, she glances back down at the stack. White paper covered in his messy, scrawling script. “But these things – they’re all about me.

The tentative statement rests in the air, and her heart beats so loudly as she waits for him to respond.

“Yes,” is all he gives her.

“Why?”

“Because…” Spencer looks up at the ceiling, eyes searching for answer that won’t appear for him, no matter how hard he wills it to be so. “Because I don’t want to be lonely anymore. I want to make friends, and I want to understand people. I’m not good at that.”

The books on the couch tell her as much, and it breaks her heart that he’s so achingly lonely, longing for a connection. Still, it hasn’t answered her question. “But why me? Why only the things I like?” She’s not sure why her voice has fallen so soft, but she feels she is treading lightly, afraid to wake up whatever revelation lies sleeping.

Spencer walks over to her and takes the index cards gently from her hands, setting them aside with the self-help books. He gazes down at her, and never did she think that a single look would be able to take her breath away. All she can focus on is the softness in his eyes and how near he is to her.

“Of all the people I want to understand, you mean the most. When we talk, I want to catch all the references you make to books and music. I want to know what movies make you happy and what movies make you cry. I want to be able to read you, as easily as I can read my favorite stories. I want to feel the opposite of loneliness, but I want to feel it with you.”

Like a broken record, she repeats, “Why me?”

He shakes his head, bemused by all her questions. “It had to be you. It’s always been you. Ever since that first day you came racing up the steps and nearly knocked me over. There was so much life in your eyes, and just by proximity to you I felt more alive. I wanted to feel that away every day. Then that night you fell asleep on my couch after we watched The Breakfast Club, and you told me about your parents, something in my heart changed. You changed me, and I’ve never been one to like change, but it’s different with you. I feel better with you. You make me better.”

The air around them feels heavier and she struggles to breathe it in. There are so many words, so many things to process, and she can’t quite wrap her head around the pieces of the puzzle that are falling into place.

“That can’t be right. I’m not anyone special.” There’s no way that someone like her can have changed someone like him – someone so brilliant, so brave.

He takes half a step closer, and she swears that for a moment, the world stops spinning. “You are the most beautiful person I have ever known.” Briefly, his hand cups her cheek, before he pulls away. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I – I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You haven’t,” she assures him.

“I know I’m weird, and I’m awkward, and I’m not particularly attractive, but I do care about you. Very much. It’s just that I’ve been alone for so long, and I know that doesn’t exactly help, but…” He’s rambling faster than his brain can keep up with, face red and jaw clenched. Anxious. Scared. It’s then that she realizes he’s bracing himself for what he thinks is going to be an inevitable rejection. Apologizing for allowing himself to feel something for her.

“Spencer,” she says, cutting him off. “You don’t need to explain anything. I understand.” Then, she places one hand on his chest, right over his heart. “And you’re not alone. You’re not, okay? I’m right here. I know you, and I don’t care whether or not you know about John Hughes movies or popular songs. None of that changes how I feel about you.” Though she has to admit, she’s overwhelmed by the gesture. Who else would take the time to keep track of all of the things she loved simply because they wanted to make her happy? There is nobody else on the planet like him. This man before her, he’s nothing short of incredible.

“H-how do you feel, exactly?” he asks. She decides not to justify that with words. Instead she pulls him closer, stands on her toes, and presses her lips to his. Once, soft, for just a heartbeat, before pulling away to meet his eyes. When he doesn’t protest, she moves back in, and he responds in kind, kissing her deeply, passionately. His hand in her hair, her arms around his neck. Nothing is left unsaid in the movements between them.

“I don’t want you to be lonely,” she whispers, when they part. “I want to be with you. I want to be by your side. I’ve wanted that for so long.” When he pulls her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her shoulder, she can feel him trembling. That burden of isolation he’s been bearing for so long has finally been set down. The disbelief and shock overtakes him, and it’s all she can do to hold him as he cries. She’s crying too, and she doesn’t know why – only that there is some empty ache within her that has now been filled, a place she didn’t realize had been hollow before.

With time, the books slowly disappear. The spend some much time enveloped in the opposite of loneliness together, and it’s deliriously blissful. He takes her to meet his team, and she can see how much they love him. How much they care.

He needs no book to tell him how to form deep relationships and meaningful connections. All the connections have been there before him, all along. Waiting for him to realize the love he has for them is not one-sided. Waiting for him to accept the love he is more than worthy of.

And when it’s late and they’re lying side by side, all she can think of is how lucky she is that she is the one who gets to give such love to him. And she is the one who is so loved by him.

No, they aren’t alone anymore. This, this is exactly the opposite. An emotion she cannot name, but knows by heart each time he looks her way.

evyjpeg  asked:

I just saw your post about being thankful for all your followers and what not and you had one line that really stuck out for me. Something about that your posts may have let someone smile a little bit. So, I thought that I would share my little story with you. My sister first showed me your blog and I was looking at her favorite posts and I started laughing so hard I fell on the ground. I was crying, I couldn't breathe and it was fantastic. So, I guess I just want to say thanks for that 👍👍

Aww, dat’s awesome!

It always feels so weird to read awesome stories like this, and be reminded that, uh… this *is* all real. 

Seeing numbers that quantify “audience reception” is so abstract, but hearing stories of people laughing so hard they fall over… well, that definitely makes it feel real <3

Colin

Best friend (a.i)

Originally posted by beforeilose

GIF: Not mine
WORDS: 1633
PLOT: You are in love with each other but you’re best friends.

“Ash, can you get us some popcorn?” I yelled as Michael and I continued our Call of Duty game. “Sure.” He yelled back from the kitchen. “You know, he’d do anything for you.” Michael commented. “I would do anything for him too, he is my best friend.” I said, focussing on the game. Michael paused it. I snapped my head to him. “What the hell?” I asked, confused. “That’s not what I meant, Y/N. Think about it, you guys act like so much more than just friends.” Michael said. I have always liked Ashton as more that just my friend but I would never tell him that. We have been friends since we were 4 years old, I didn’t want to ruin that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mikey.” I said, not making eye contact. “Y/N, I know you like him.” Michael said. “Who does Y/N like?” Ashton asked, walking in from the kitchen. We both froze. “oh, u-uhm nobody…” I stammered. Ashton looked at me weirdly. “I, uh actually have to get going so-“ I said, standing up. “But I just made the popcorn?” Ashton said confused. “Sorry!” I said, running out of Ashton’s apartment.

Ashton and I grew up together. We were prom dates and we spent every Christmas together. Where Ashton went I went and where I went Ashton went. He was there for my first break up and I was there for his. He was there when I got into a car accident and I was there when he did his first gig with the boys. He made me laugh and smile when all I wanted to do was cry. He gave me advice and told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. He made even the worst of days better. I was absolutely in love with Ashton, but if he knew that he would probably never speak to me again. I snapped out of my thoughts when Michael called me.

“Sup.” I said, lying on the carpet. “You should have told him.” Michael said. “Mike, just let it go.” I sighed. “Fine, whatever. The reason I called is there’s a party over at Calum’s tonight, you should join.” He said. “Is Ash going?” I asked, hoping he was. Michael laughed. “Yeah, he is.” “Okay, I’ll go.” I said. “Cool, Ash and I will pick you up around 6.” He said. After that we talked for a while longer and then hung up. Michael was like a brother to me, out of all the boys, apart from Ashton, he and I were probably the closest. When Ashton wasn’t around I’d be with Michael.

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Smoaked 2/?

Summary: Felicity and her young daughter Molly move to Star City to escape a stalker ex-boyfriend.Thank you so much for proofing @almondblossomme!

All chapters are available on AO3.


                                               2. We Are Family

“Felicity, I don’t know if you know but there is a pretty creepy looking dude standing outside your shop. Do you want me to do something about it?” Sara Lance walked into Smoaked making her way toward Felicity, it was getting close to mid-afternoon so it was quiet again.

“Yes, I know. He’s there for my protection. So, you don’t need to do anything.” Felicity knew she was going to have to explain all this to her friends. They knew some but not all of her story. She invited Sara and Caitlin over for coffee so she could explain things before collecting Molly from school.

“Your protection? Something you want to tell me about?” Sara was a police detective, recently promoted, and she had assured Felicity when arrived back in Star City she would have her back from whatever she was running from.

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anonymous asked:

Hi, Do you have any ereri\rireni fic suggestions? or a link to any?

Hello anon! I definitely can recommend you some! Sorry this took a while, I was very busy yesterday.

I went to check the bookmarks on my other browser (I really have to update my new AO3 account already and add all my favorite fics to bookmarks in there, but I always forget to do it, I’m such a mess ;_;) and I’m listing some for you.

You didn’t specify any genre or preferences so there’s a bit of everything in here. All of these are personal favorites of mine, and are very special for me for different reasons, so I hope you like them!


Don’t Speak Against the Sun, by appleapple.
If I had to choose a favorite fic from this author, I probably wouldn’t be able to. Everything they write is spectacular. I’ve always had a preference for canonverse fics, so when I first found their works, it was like christmas came early for me. Still, I’m choosing this story, because it made my chest hurt in all the best ways, and everyone who likes canonverse should read it at least once, you will love it.

Fireside, by twisting_vine_x. [ @twisting-vine-x ]
I always loved this author’s writing style, because it’s the kind that gets you squealing, jumping, covering your face with your hands and making silly sounds at every minimal interaction, and builds anticipation masterfully to the point that gets you trembling with them just as much as holding hands. It has such an effect on me, it’s so embarrassing lol. Fireside is one of my favorites, I love the fact that these two just can’t help falling in love with each other no matter the circumstances, even if they just met and are stuck together in a house in the middle of a snow storm.

A Learned Misbehavior, by sciencefictioness. [ @sciencefictioness ]
One of the best takes at a student/teacher relationship I have ever read. Student/teacher usually isn’t one of my favorite things to read about, I find there’s always something all these kind of stories lack for me, so I don’t really read that many.  But then I found this story and it was like FINALLY, this is exactly what I was looking for all this time. It doesn’t ignore all the complications a relationship like this would have, the struggle in the mind of someone who suddenly feels a strong attraction for someone he shouldn’t, the consequences of acting on their desires. It touches every single thing realistically and that just makes this story even more beautiful, their love more intense, their connection stronger, their commitment even more meaningful. It’s one of my top favorites and I strongly recommend you to read it!

Eight Times the Fun, by ryuusea. [ @ryuusea ]
So, how do you feel about tentacles anon? (´ヮ`) This is definitely one of the best smut fics on this fandom, a must read. It’s very original, hot, and funny (especially the end, oh my god). I do not want to say much more because I don’t want to spoil anything, but trust me, you need to read this asap because it’s amazing!

Leave Your Lover, by SailorHeichou. [ @sailorheichou ]
The way this author uses music, descriptions, and pictures to tell their stories is fantastic. It allows you to get fully immersed in their world, and visualize every single detail, and I love that so much. (I even have a playlist collecting all the songs from their fics and I go back to listen to it sometimes lol). All of their fics are really good but this one has a very special place in my heart. You will daydream about Eren singing for weeks after reading this, trust me!

Lips like Sugar, by TheSpazzBot. [ @fuzzyporcupine ]
I honestly could fill another whole list of faves just with fics from this author (I just can’t help it, I love bottom Levi too much), but I’m choosing this one because it gives me everything I’ve ever wanted, it seriously has every single one of my favorite things I would want to see on a story and combines them together to form my dream fic. Older, rich, and caring sugar daddy Eren, taking care of a younger, inexperienced and adorable Levi, who has a heart of gold, and makes sure that even stray cats get to eat even if he barely can feed himself. And on top of that it’s also so well written, it’s just perfect, I just adore this fic.

Inanimatum Quoddam Sidus, by Miku.
This fic is the one that will make you cry hysterically. It has a major character death warning, but please, trust me and don’t let that discourage you from reading it. I usually avoid sad fics, because I get very emotional very fast. But I gave this story a chance and I am so glad I did. It will break your heart but it will do it so beautifully that you will be fine with it, believe me!

Flight (When None Pursueth), by mongoose_bite. [ @mongoose-bite ]
When days and even weeks since you have read a story have passed, and you still find yourself thinking about it almost everyday, you know it was really good. This happened to me with this story. I read it in one sitting (to be honest I could not stop once I had already started) and I was obsessed with it for weeks. This story touches so many things I wanted to see on a reincarnation fic, especially the repercussions that remembering another life, full of painful memories, could have and how that would affect someone trying to live their new life while dealing with all that.

Fever, by noero. [ @lancefanclub ]
From all the amazing works this author has, I’ve come to dig up the oldest! But I really can’t help it, because I love it a lot and it’s one of my favorites. I have terrible memory, and I’ve read lots of smutty one shots, and I’ve forgotten most of them, but this one caused an impression on me and it comes back to my mind often. What can I say, It’s just really fucking hot. The continuation made it even better so don’t forget checking out that one too!

Eight Months, by elliewritesthings. [ @crying-abt-fictional-people ]
Of course I could not finish this list without mentioning Ellie ♡. Eight Months is such a sweet and heartwarming story. The cutest, most adorable Eren, doing his best to please Levi, loving him so much with such a pure heart. The most gentle Levi, trying to do what’s best for Eren, but wanting him so much at the same time, taking care of him, loving him back with equal intensity. If I ever have a bad day, reading anything by this author always makes me feel better. Her stories are filled with love and happiness, and it definitely reaches you. Please give it a chance I promise you won’t regret it.


Honestly this is only a small part of so many good stories and writers we have on the fandom, we are really lucky we have so much talented people that give us so much. I had to leave many out of this list but the post is already super long and I wanted to keep it at only 10 recs or so. I’ve also added their tumblr urls on the post in case you want to follow them here (except appleapple’s and Miku’s, I don’t know their url or if they have an account here, sorry about that u.u).

Anyways, I hope you enjoy these, anon! Also, with this you gave me an excuse to go back and reread most of these fics again, so thank you for that ♡ .

The Originals 4x03 thoughts ( SPOILERS )

Where to begin. That scene with the Mikaelsons on the porch. Klaus has really bad yell timing. And poor Hope! She looked so scared and overwhelmed and I don’t blame her. Meeting all of her family in one day. Klaus looked so sad when she didn’t immediately jump into his arms. 😭 but that later Klope scene was so cute! The bonding begins! The Klayley talk was cute, Hayley telling Klaus that he was Hope’s fav fairytale prince was adorable. 😍 and that scene with Hope and Klaus walking through the woods! She was holding his hand and they were talking about Kol snoring and I was crying. 😭 and when she healed the butterfly, she is innocent and must be protected. And the Klope hug!! And Klaus saying he will always protect her aww! And Hope seeing that dark thing in the woods? She looked so scared, my poor baby! The Haylijah in that episode was on point 😍 the I love you’s and the love making made me swoon! And Poor Hope! Her nose was bleeding and I love how Klaus went into father concern mode instantly. That whole Vincent flashbacks though damn, I’m hooked on that story. And lastly, Freya. I didn’t like her in the start of the series. Warmed up to her a bit and the hated her when she sacrificed Davina. Now I hate her even more. No appreciation towards Hayley for saving her and her family. Ugh. I wanted to slap her. And last lastly, Kol and Rebekah. Yes my children, run away and be safe! Two less fav characters for me to worry about being killed off!

anonymous asked:

Finally ! I am so happy ! I was watching every day for a new chapter Helsa! As usual, I laugh a lot. Elsa is really touching: she still feels guilty, whereas she is not responsible (the opposite of Hans). But she's a born leader! I think Anna can help her, but rather for balls than socio-political-economic stuff. I always love your characters and your story. When a new chapter is there, it illuminates my day.

o oh gosh, you’re gonna make me cry!!
Thank you so much, you have no idea how great it is for me to hear that

I know it’s not how I should think, but it has been hard for me to stay motivated to make these when they seem to get less and less attention… but this story gives me so much inspiration that I just couldn’t let it go!!

So thank you again, i’ll try to make time to update soon ;;;

anonymous asked:

What is your favorite things about Victoria and Daniel love story? What makes you love them so much? I just curious about why they are your favorite couple :)

There is literally SO MUCH I LOVE ABOUT THEM. 

So I always have a soft spot for relationships which come out of a difficult place. Victoria had a public battle with anorexia and Daniel was her trainer. He was the one who helped her to get healthy and strong and turn her body in to a source of pride rather than something she was ashamed of so I love that she managed to find love after all of that. They were together for a long time because people didn’t think Daniel was good enough but she fought for him. I love a relationship which weathers storms and comes out the other side strong and healthy. The fact everyone was crying at her wedding just shows me how much she deserved to find love and how happy everyone was about her making the choice to be with Daniel. 

There’s the fact they’re so tactile. I love that about them. There are so many pictures of them cuddling, kissing, holding hands and so on. It’s just a beautiful expression of their love for each other and they always seem to make each other smile. 

The story he told at their wedding about how she left a letter for him for every day she’d be on tour was adorable and beautiful and made me want to cry. I love that they have that sense of romance in private too. 

They are incredibly brilliant parents to two children who are growing in to funny, smart, independent little people. The fact that they split parental care and Daniel took paternity leave is so progressive and awesome. 

They are just an example of a really healthy couple. They let each other shine, they obviously admire and respect each other, they are romantic and tactile but they are also professional, they are great parents, and they just have more love for each other than I can even describe. 

i love fnv SO much. i love the crappy 2010 graphics of the desert i love irl, and i love the weirdass looking coyotes and giant geckos and benny’s painfully delivered lines and how fucking scared i was the first time playing dead money. and i love joshua graham’s ass and dr. usanagi’s lines - which i think are forever seared in my brain for how often i went to that clinic.

i love the factions and their flaws, i love shooting caesar in the face, i love being insulted by the think tank for my penis toes. i love ulysses being fucking dramatic and monologuing at me, i love christine and veronica, i love the long dick johnson conversation with cass as well as everything about her.

i love arcade and every single ghoul- ESPECIALLY my fucking tio raul. i love primm slim and and the followers and the unique culture of every family on the strip. i love the fact that no ending is perfectly good - because no one in the game is perfectly good, they’re all just doing their best. (except the legion, fuck the legion)

i love the orange tint to daylight and the dusky blue desert sky and the moon shining bright as you jog down an empty highway under the stars. i love that everything has a history to it, the shape of a story that you can observe or influence and then deal with the consequences when the ending tally comes.

i love my courier solving her own murder and trying to influence the state of an entire region where money, luck, and the smoking end of a gun are the only powers that be.

Lessons Learned (JB X Yugyeom X Reader Smut)

You’d had sex before him. Good sex, amazing sex, even mindblowing sex. But sex with Yugyeom didn’t even include orgasms. He was different than the men you usually went for. He was younger. He was inexperienced. He was a virgin when you’d met him and at first, deflowering him had been fun, but now it was getting old. You were getting quite tired of Yugyeom’s inability to bring you to climax.

Yugyeom was kind. He was sweet and amazing. That was another difference in Yugyeom and your usual type. He always made sure you were happy and you felt bad about resenting his lack of bedroom skills.

Keep reading

gehji  asked:

what abt tracer?

  • First impression: Now That Looks Like A Lesbian
  • Impression now: NOW THAT LOOKS LIKE A LESBIAN!!!!!!!
  • Favorite moment: remember when she kissed her girlfriend? right on the lips?? yeah me too
  • Idea for a story: emily n lena get married and winston is best ape-man and he cries
  • Unpopular opinion: none i dont think? 
  • Favorite relationship: i LIVE for lucio n tracers friendship, i find it so incredibly charming. that bit of trivia thats st like “lucios meant to embody tracers ‘the world could always use more heroes!’” MADE ME CRY and is STILL MAKING ME CRY RN ACTUALLY
  • Favorite headcanon: shes been trying to ask emily to marry her for weeks but shes too shy. she has the ring on her 24/7
Stop telling your "story", ending the game.

Shuddering with pain, yet still looking for the light. This is the human struggle. It’s why I got into acting. It has made me who I am. Living in the present moment is key. Why do I feel this… Undertow of emotion so strong inside me? Always pulling me back as I try to swim forward. People can’t understand it if they do not struggle with sentimentality. I have lived inside fantasies to survive all my life. At this point, one reaches an existential crisis. The sharp stab of horror that we are alone, with no excuses.

Watching a documentary on the making of the little mermaid… Had me realizing just how much we act out our favorite stories from childhood. Seemingly unconscious. Ariel (or the mermaid from the original story), feels she does not fit in where she is from. There is a feeling deep inside her that she does not belong. She searches to find meaning in her life. The day she first sets eyes upon the prince, she knew she was in trouble. After she rescued him, she watches sadly from the beach, knowing they inhabit different worlds. That they can never be together.

The purity of her love and the intensity of her devotion, lead her to sacrifice the most beautiful gift she possessed (her voice) just to be with him. Abandoning her family, her kingdom, the only home she ever knew for a single grain of hope. There were no guarantees that he would return her feelings, she sacrificed all she had for the mere chance of being with him.

It is hard not to be endeared by the mermaid. She is sweet, with an otherworldly beauty. Tenderly she follows him like a lovable puppy. Yet, she is silent, and the prince decides she cannot be his dream girl because she lacks the beautiful voice he heard the day he was rescued from shipwreck. He decides she is lacking, and though he has warm feelings of love towards her, she is not enough for him, in the end the prince chooses another girl (in the Hans Christian Andersen story).

Broken hearted, knowing she will die with the sunrise, the little mermaid sweetly carries the train at their wedding, and smiles gently when he kisses her forehead. In the 1968 Russian film version (Rusalochka), i was always struck by her silent tears at the end. Quaking with emotion, yet still she smiles and dances with the sun rise, because she was happy just to have had the chance to be with him. That part always has me in tears. It’s so pure, the unconditional love. There is no jealousy, or self pity, an uncontrolled response of sadness, yet overriding that… A glowing love.

I have only ever seen that love once in real life. The boys I looked after for seven years… When their mother was on hospice care… The little one sat by her bed, the cancer had completely overtaken her brain, so she could no longer remember who any of us were. Yet when he sat by her, she recognized him. I’ll never forget it… she beamed this beautiful glowing love. It was unlike anything I have ever seen, so beautiful and sad.

In the Disney version, Ariel gets her happy ending. I find the relationship between Ariel and King Triton to be exactly like my relationship with my own father:

Ariel: “–but if you would just listen!”
Triton: “NOT ANOTHER WORD! And I am never to hear of you going to the surface again! Is that clear?”

How he immediately feels badly after he yells at her, and how hard it is for him to realize she has grown up, and that he must let her go. At the end, he makes her a human, and I always cry when they hug goodbye and she whispers: “I love you daddy.”

These themes of love with sacrifice and loss has pervaded my life for 28 years. My challenge now is to change the tape on my head. There is no desire in me to tell my past to others when I meet them anymore. It is tiresome.

Musing on life in the sultry afternoons in my grandmothers garden, I can to realize a poignant truth. We all grow so attached to our story. When you tell your story, it pulls on others energy. You are sucking them into the “game” we all unconsciously play. The game where we are a victim of our past, looking for a savior to make it alright.

There are three roles in this game, as my grandmother outlined to me, the first being the savior. The savior goes around trying to fix everyone else to mask the emptiness they feel inside. They compensate for their own lack of source energy, by giving up for others in order to receive validation.

The second position is perpetrator, this person feels that the only way they can compensate for their lack of source energy, is by forcibly taking it from others. They bully, demean, gaslight, and intimidate others into giving them their energy. They are takers, and their main concern is power and control.

The third is the victim, and the victim is the one who wields all the power in actuality. They have the power to make you the perpetrator or the savior depending upon how you interact with them, enable their behaviors, or meet their needs. If you stop saving them the way they like to be saved–you become the perpetrator in their story.

We slide to all positions in our life. Different dynamics with different people will have us sliding from one role into the other. The fact of the matter, is this is a game. It is a web. The attachment to our story (how we were hurt and what we lost), keeps us from being able to be in the present moment.

The goal for any enlightened or content being, is to step out of the game, and into the circle of the champion. To speak your truth in a harmless way, to be your own savior. This does not mean self sacrifice, this does not mean send deprecation or isolation, it does not mean being unkind to take back personal power. It means standing tall and strong inside who you are. Knowing what you will and will not allow. Having healthy boundaries, and above all–valuing yourself. If your self concept is not determined by another’s actions, then and only then are you being a champion in your own life.

anonymous asked:

Hi! It's the anon who requested the v and jumin reaction. I meant in the past the mc was dating this guy and he cheated on her so in her anger she cheated on him as revenge, get what I mean?i hope you do. I am so bad at explaining 😭 but it kind of comes up one day in a conversation so I'd just like to know what their reaction would be. Thaanks ✌🏼

 Yeah, actually when I post your request someone said that it was probably was what you just said soon maybe the problem was me…but what here is your request.

Jumin 

- “You did what?”

- you explain the whole thing 

- He just stays in silence for a minute and then said ”I just don´t understand why they cheated on you? and why you lower yourself to their level?”When people say he is dead honest they are not kidding

-”I was angry and I was heart broken”

-”Why? if he cheated on you, why you would care?”

-”Because I-I…” That made you remember it all and you could handle it so you started to cry

-”Sorry…I didn´t mean to make you upset.I would never do something soo like that”

-”I know that” You couldn’t stop crying

- Jumin took you into hi arms ”sh sh I´m here” He tried to confer you by taking you strong and holding you feeling your tears  “I love you” he said it to make you see that he is there but you crying in his arms just made him tear up too.

V

  • Sorry but I-I don’t know how V would react I just know that he will just support you if you still had anger in you or something bad.
  • He will stay quite.
  • You would try to break the silence by saying

- “If you ever stop loving me…please say it to me and don´t go with somebody els-”

- V didn´t let you finish and said “That´s the only thing I hate about you” 

- V was so sweet and just say those words in a cool way made you say “What?”

- “You are soo heart broken and you still have wounds open”V lower his face “You think that you can get hurt again so you trust nobody”Then V lift his angelic face to reveal tears and taking you by the arms “But mc you have to know that there are people that will love you without a doubt, that will give their life for you and will not leave you but that´s impossible to do because without you … they can´t live.One of those people is me”

- “Jihyun…”

- “And that thing that I hate about you I have it too”He smile at you so natural always trying to be strong “But I´m here you just got to trust”

- “But I´m just too scared”

- He hug you and whisper “I´m scared too.I´m scared to repeat the same story” 

-  You could feel V shaking “I´m not her”

- “And I´m not him”


Sorry…I was literally crying while making this I was about to write more but I just can´t sorry if it is short

Special Agent 606, Out.If you want to request here are the rules: HERE/Masterlist: Here

anonymous asked:

Do you have a fic recs page? :)

I do now :) 

Here are a few of my favorites:

Caged by @mrsmon : This is honestly one of my favorites- it was one of the first and only fics I actually cried over. The way she writes is captivating and just… wow. She’ll pull you right in. 

Underworld by @onlylovekpop : Holy. Crap. I die every time she updates this amazing series. It’s so unique and beautifully written- and there are so many plot twists that you’ll always be on the edge of your seat. 

Vampire!Yoongi by @versigny : This girl. She’s one of the most talented writers I have ever come across. Basically all of her fics are perfect, but her vampire Yoongi just makes me feel so many emotions. I don’t read smut, so I can’t say anything about a lot of her stuff, but honestly the fluff and angst I’ve read just leave me feeling so nice and warm or dead and sad- and I’m not sure which I like more. 

EVERYTHING by @dreamscript : I can’t even choose one to link so I just linked her masterlist. I died when I found her blog and I stayed up for an entire night just reading all of it. I’m absolutely in love with her style and imagination and W O W go read her stuff right this second!!!

EVERYTHING by @wasabi-duck : Are you sad? Read all of her completely adorable and lovely and perfect scenarios. I cry at father!bts and I always run to Ally’s blog when I’m having a bad day. She’s honestly the sweetest person alive too. Read her stuff. Especially father!bts because it makes me cry with joy. 

I can Fix That by @eureka-its-zico : fun fact: we’re staying in the same hotel in Anaheim for the BTS concert!!! Anyways, this is my favorite fic by her just because it’s so cute and fluffy and amazing and did I mention fluffy???? I love her.

Blue Orchids by @inktae : This story is one of the most creative and beautiful works I’ve ever read on this entire site. Here’s how it works: She’ll rip your heart out about 9000 times, but then she’ll come and put a soft blanket over you and kiss you on the forehead and everything will seem okay even though you’ve been crying for the past 10k words of her story. Honestly her fics are so elaborate and beautiful; you can just immerse yourself right in. 

Painting the Meadow’s Void by @jungblue : This is a work of art. I was squealing by the end of it and I honestly don’t think I can express in words how much I admire her writing. 

These are honestly just a few of the amazing fics I’ve read, and I wish I could remember and put down all of the ones I’ve fallen in love with. Below are a few noteworthy blogs to check out who never fail to amaze me. They are all absolutely worth checking out and I’ll be really sad if you don’t.

@bangtanhmu, @ggukyng, @asexpectedofthestork, @syugatae, @taetaetown, @park-jimeme, @mochirapgod, @your-miss-right

And honestly so many more that I’m going to hate myself for not tagging?? 

Please give all these amazing people lots of love and feedback and happiness because they all deserve it. 

~L

Grey’s Anatomy rant

I want to talk about four ladies from Grey’s Anatomy that I feel deserve more love. These ladies are Sarah Drew, Jerrika Hinton, Kelly McCreary and Caterina Scorsone, or how we know them, April, Stephany, Maggie and Amelie

The four of them are great actress, IMO, the best actress on the show alongside Chandra Willson. But Chandra gets all the compliments, the awards and even the screen time

Sarah and Jerrika have shown numerous times that they are great dramatic actresses, they have had deep and meaningful archs and they have excelled on their acting. However, lately, they have been showing us that can shine on something else… Comic scenes together. Their comic timing is great and the chemistry between them is, IMO, one of the finding of the season. It’s a shame that just when we are starting to enjoy them we are going to lose one of them.

Kelly and Caterina are excellent dramatic actresses. The deep of emotions that Caterina can show with just one look has me in awe, and Kelly was wonderful on Maggie centric episode this season. The dialogues between Maggie and her mother were beautiful

The tragedy here is that Steph, April and Amelia have so little screen time, although at least the little they have they can use it to shine a little more. IMO, they were the best parts of the last episode. Sarah and Jerrica were so good alongside with James Pikens Jr that they performed a miracle, they made DeLuca interesting and funny. Now I want to see more of the four of them, together. They were funny, and good, and entertaining. I think that asking a TV show to be entertaining isn’t too much to ask. So, yes, I have a good time with them, I laughed and and smiled and I realised how much I miss the comic moments on GA, they used to be great and they happened often enough. The problem is that even though I had fun with them, I want to see emotional development for them. We don’t know anything about these two women lifes since Japril The Sequel where April and Jackson had sex, in April case, and that episode where Steph have a boy dying in the OR, and any of those events have had a follow up. What happens with April and Jackson now? What happens with all the people who made the cold shoulder to April? Does she have any friend on the hospital? How is she feeling after weeks or months of being isolated and abandoned by her so called friends? And Steph, how is she feeling now? Is she so pro Minnick now, after the woman ignored her when she asked for help after that kid’s death? I don’t understand why the writers started these stories and then abandoned them to focus on Merrdigs/Maggie story, it just doesn’t make any sense to me

Amelia had me crying, and I don’t cry easily. Veronica’s goodbye was heartbreaking and Amelia was there, telling us a thousand of things with just one gaze. I felt her pain, I know she was thinking about her son, I know she was devastated for Veronica’s death. And she didn’t have to say anything to let me know that, I was aware of all her feelings way before she started to cry in the elevator. Caterina always has me in awe. Which makes her arch even worse than it is. I mean, the writers have this wonderful actress and they waste her talent in a repetitive plot about Hunt wanting kids and marrying with a woman who doesn’t want kids… Again. Hunt could very well ask his fiancés if they want kids before getting married, because frankly, it’s becoming ridiculous

And then we have the greatest tragedy happening on GA. It’s not a death, an accident or a shooting, it’s the terrible treatment that, IMO, Kelly is getting. She is wonderful actress, she has already showed us that, and Maggie was funny and cute at the beginning, she was always there for Mer and Amelia, she was the voice of reason among this sisterhood of three. And then the writers decided to transform her into a whinning inmature judgemental brat that went so fas as stealing the OR where her sister had to operate, and all for a man. Which means that she played with somebody health in order to punish her sister because her crush didn’t love her back. So, to sum it up, the writers have taken this likeable character played by an excelent actress and they have transformed it into the less likeable character of all the show. And then gave her all the screen time and the episodes while they forgot about unfinished plots. They have made her into a hateful character and then they have shoved her down our collective throats, which makes her even more hateful.

I really hope the writers have an endgame here because these characters, these four faboulous actresses, deserve better