her sass is off the charts

Things I Want From ACOWAR: A final wish list

• first things first, I want bitches to be served a big slice of karma within the first 100 pages 🔫🗿 (I’m looking at you tool and ionthesis)
•feyre to scam the hoes and leave the spring court ASAP RUN [insert chicken running meme]
•high lords ganging up against tamale and rhysand leading them like BOIII YOU IS ABOUT TO GET F*CKED UP BIG TIME👊
• I would also absolutely not mind rhys clawing his face off….just throwing it out there 👀👏
• ionthesis being taken care of by the ladies of the inner circle, teach her some manners laid ease 💋
•lucien siding with feyre and ditching the tool, yes I’m ordering one (1) serving of redemption arc thank ✌️
• tarquin and rhysand working side by side when the battle begins (the brootp potential is off the charts for them come on now)
•feyre gaining control of her abilities and using them on the battlefield 👯💃
• amren unleashing her fulL FORM ONTO HYBERN’S ARMIES YEAH BOIII 😈
• mor’s full power being shown (we still don’t know how much damage our girl can do)
• azriel finding someone who truly loves him back and makes him feel like the best man in the world (idc who it is tbh I want my mans to be happy 😩)
•nessian snippy bickering: feed me the sass SJM 😛
• feysaND SHIT LOTS AND LOTS OF IT domestic, fluff, protective GIVE ME ALLL OF IT 😋 (i know know we’ve eaten good 😳 but im thirsty for more)
•elain and lucien warming up to each other slowly but steadily, we getting there…
•MY MANS SURIEL TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE (help these ships sail cause he the Ship King ⛴ or to communicate stuff to feyre at the spring court 📝)
•nesta and elain apologizing to feyre for the way they treated her and them patching things up
•velaris and its beauty no longer to be hidden by the end but shown off to all, so they can see that my mans rhysand is a Real One that’s right 🗣that’s right 🗣
•amren finding a way back home :(( i have bittersweet feelings towards this 😔
•feyre to be crowned officially in front of everyone and to sit on the throne with rhys on her side I’m already dying thinking about this 👌🙍
• a beautiful bomb ass epilogue hopefully talking about a feysand wedding or them discussing the future cause I wish to die from the feels yo 🙏🙏🗣🗣

Too Fast - Part 1

Words: 2699
Dean x Reader
Based on this imagine!
Summary: You meet Dean when you are both in the hospital and feel a connection to the handsome stranger, knowing nothing about what he does for a living…

Warning: some language
This is Part 1 of a series! More to come soon! :)

Your name: submit What is this?

You dragged the metal stand on wheels along beside you as you hobbled down the hallway. You looked at the bag of IV fluid hanging there with the line connected to your arm and scrunched your nose at it. Livin’ the dream, you thought to yourself.

You heard a crash down the hall and saw a guy about your age, stitches on his forehead, getting up out of a wheelchair and looking around to check if anyone was watching him. There were hospital supplies all over the floor nearby.

You made your way curiously over.

He was bent down shoving the supplies back onto the cart they had fallen off and didn’t see you.

“Hey,” you said.

He jumped and turned around. “Oh. Hey. I thought you were that crazy dictator nurse,” he said, looking you up and down, and giving you a sheepish smile.

You gave him a weak smile. “You have Nurse Michaels too?”

He nodded. “She kinda scares me.”

You gave him a conspiratorial look. “Me too,” you whispered. He smiled at you. “So, uhh what happened over here?” you asked, gesturing to the cart and spilled supplies behind him.

“Heh,” he gave you a boyish grin. “Wheelchair wheelie gone wrong.”

You laughed and nodded. “Ahh, we’ve all been there,” you replied smiling at him. “I’m Y/N,” you said extending a hand.

“Dean.” He grasped your hand, which felt small in his and gave you another smile. “So, what are you in for?” He asked, slipping his hands into the pockets of his standard issue hospital pants.

“Gang fight.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, knitting his eyebrows together, and opened his mouth to say something only to close it again.

You laughed loudly. “I’m kidding. A drunk driver hit my car.”

“I was gonna say—you don’t look the type. Drunk driver huh? What a douche…You’re gonna be ok though?” He said, starting to walk with you back up the hallway.

You gave him a small smile and nodded. “What about you? That looks like a nasty cut you have there.”

He pursed his lips and considered you for a moment, nodding absentmindedly. “Hunting accident.”

Keep reading

One of My Favorite Banters with Solas

Solas: Have you ever had any interest in learning magic, Sera?
Sera: Get off.
Solas: While it has not manifested naturally, there are ways to determine whether arcane gifts lie dormant within you.
Sera: What?? Don’t make me think about that. I have to sleep at night!
Solas: Sleeping would give you the chance to explore the Fade. I could introduce you to spirits!
Sera: Right, you’re messing with me on purpose!
Solas: {innocently} Why would I do that? It is not as though I know WHO filled my bedroll with lizards…
Sera: {laughing} Fair point. That was pretty good.

I love this banter between Solas and Sera for quite a few reasons, a couple of which I’ll mention here. One, Sera finally gets a prank pulled on her and has the good nature to say it was a “pretty good” prank. Two, the prank was pulled by Solas and it is BEAUTIFUL.

It cracks me up that some people paint Solas as this completely serious and/or constantly depressed stick in the mud. I feel like asking “You’ve…actually traveled with him, right?” Pair him with Sera or Vivienne and the sass levels will fly off of the charts (not to mention some of his interactions with Dorian. His “PLEASE SPEAK UP. I CANNOT HEAR YOU OVER YOUR OUTFIT” remark was PRICELESS).

I mean, yes, he does carry himself differently than some of the other sarcastic types within the Inquisition - The Iron Bull and Varric, for instance. Solas’ demeanor is usually (but not consistently) more pensive. However, that doesn’t mean he’s any less humorous - it just means his delivery is not as traditional. In fact, I will wager from certain dialogues we hear that Solas’ sarcasm is not only more subtle but also much sharper than that of his Inquisition counterparts. Take for instance this conversation with Vivienne.

Vivienne: So…an apostate. 
Solas: That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your circle. 
Vivienne: Well, dear, I hope you can take care of yourself should we encounter anything outside of your experience. 
Solas: I will try, in my own fumbling way, to learn from how you helped seal the rifts at Haven. Ah, wait! My memory misleads me. You were not there. 

Solas’ remark starts out subtle, almost sounding like a compliment initially. However, the end result is a stab of sarcasm as piercing as a double-edged blade.
Also, the fact that you gain approval with certain sarcastic responses when speaking with him would (in my opinion) generally indicate his appreciation for the fine art of wit and sarcasm. I mean, one of his nicknames is quite literally “The Trickster.” You don’t get a nickname like that by being completely serious all the time (at least not in my experience… ;b ).

And before anyone mentions this - yes, I do realize “Trickster” has other implications (namely what Fen'Harel may or may have not have done in the very distant past), but work with me here. They didn’t give The Joker his name just because that’s the one card out of the deck that he favors (literally or figuratively).

All of that to say I really believe Solas is much more multifaceted than people generally give him credit for - even beyond his sarcasm which I just happened to highlight here. Appreciate his wisdom and pensive nature but don’t forget to look for the gems of his humor as well. Trust me, they’re quite amazing. :D


Hello hi this is actually my first fic I’ve ever written (like EVER ever I am v late to the party) so how better to pop my fic cherry than with Jily TOTALLY not being dead? I just really like baby names and I like to imagine Lily and James having a bunch of babies and arguing about said names, so that is what I have done. I hope y'all enjoy it!


“Nah, it’s been done.” 

“True. Dandelion?”

“That’s a rubbish flower. That’s not even a flower. That’s a weed.”

“Okay, crossing off Dandelion. Iris?”

“Not bad, but I used to know an Iris I didn’t like.”

“Who? I don’t remember anyone in our year named Iris.”

 “No, she was in my kindergarten class.”

James Potter, dignified father of three-about-to-be-four, clutched at his hair so hard that a few strands came out. The scrap of paper in his hand fluttered sadly onto the floor. “Kindergarten? You’re vetoing a perfectly good floral name because of some bloody girl you knew when you were five?“ 

“It’s not a veto, it’s just a let’s-shelve-that-one-for-the-time-being.” Lily pouted. “And she was awful! She stole my favorite crayon! How was I supposed to finish the pastoral masterpiece of the century without Kelly Green?” 

“’Pastoral masterpiece?’ Is that what you call one of those approximately seventy million rolling-hills landscapes with the blobby sheep that your mum has all over the, whatchamacallit, refrideragor?” 

“Look, what else have you got? Sirius can only keep them entertained for so long and then God knows when we’ll have another hour to ourselves to discuss this.” 

James cursed mentally before leaning forward and retrieving the paper. “Azalea?” 

“Ugh. No.”


“There’s already a Pansy who’ll be in Harry’s year at Hogwarts. The Parkinsons.”

“Oh. Eurgh. Yeah, Pansy’s out. Daphne?”

 “Harry’s year. Greengrass.”

“Damn. Astoria?” 

“Younger Greengrass.”

“What are they doing, growing a bloody garden?”

“Pot, this is kettle, I’ve something to tell you and you’re not going to like it—”

“Oh, shut up. Agapanthus?”

Lily buried her face in her hands and let out a guttural moan. “Agapanthus? Agapanthus Potter? Have you lost your mind?”

“Hey, they’re pretty flowers. We could call her Aggie,” James suggested hopefully. “Or Panther? Or, here’s a crazy thought, we could name her something that isn’t flower-related. Like…Liz.” 

“Right,” Lily said, a touch more sarcastically than James personally thought necessary. “Liz. Perfect. That’ll go great with the rest of the family, won’t it? I can picture it now. Come along, Harry, Violet, Camellia, and Liz, let’s play a fun game where we try to guess the exact point at which Mummy and Daddy stopped trying.” 

“Okay, okay, point taken,” James said hastily. Eight months into her pregnancy, his wife currently shared roughly the size and, hormonally speaking, the temperament of an active volcano, and the best thing he could do at this point was steer the subject into slightly less dangerous waters. “Shall we take a break from girl names and discuss possibilities for a boy? I still think Fl—” 

Lily’s nostrils flared. “For the last time, we are NOT naming ANYONE Fleamont.”

“It’s a family name!” James said, stung. “And it’d build character!”

She opened her mouth to argue, but when she glanced at him, his expression made her bite her lip. “Look, I know you miss him. Them.”

 “It’s got nothing to do with—”

“And much as I wish your dad had gotten to meet his grandchildren, believe me when I say he’d’ve hated the idea of one of them bearing his name.”

James closed his eyes. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. And so do you. He specifically put it in the will, as you very well remember. So did your mum.” Lily put an arm around James’s shoulders, her matter-of-fact voice belying the sympathy in her eyes. She’d learned long ago that coddling her husband only led to him wallowing; he did much better talking out whatever was bothering him and then moving on.

He rested his cheek against her head. “Is it wrong of me to be jealous of you?”

“No, of course not.”

“Because I am, a bit. When we visit your parents’ house and your mum is so excited to put up one of Harry or Vi’s finger-paintings…and Camellia sees your dad and her whole face lights up—sometimes literally, as in the case of last month’s involuntary wandless magic incident—and I look at that big baby-picture collage that crams in all of ours next to those ones of your nephew where he looks like a beige Quaffle, and I think ‘I could hang some of those above the fireplace, now that Dad’s moved his old dueling awards to the sitting room,’ and then I remember.”

“I know,” Lily said, wishing she could say something more helpful. “I mean, I don’t know know, obviously. But. You know.”


“Er. I don’t know.”

They both giggled, and James wiped his eyes. “I just wish they’d gotten to meet the kids, is all. And that the kids had gotten to meet them.” 

“Well, Harry definitely has your dad’s knees,” Lily said. “And Vi’s eyes are exactly like your mum’s. Camellia’s sass levels, much like your father’s, are off the charts, if yesterday’s pea-transfiguration ordeal is anything to go by. Who knows what of your parents this little one’s going to inherit?”

“That’s true,” James said. He was silent for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and lifted his head. “It’ll never be the same, though.”

“I know,” Lily said again. She chewed her lip and then carefully said, “What about a middle name?”


“All your dad said was that he didn’t want any of his grandchildren to be called Fleamont in a fit of sentimentality. But he didn’t say anything about a middle name. And people stick children with horrible middle names all the time.”

“That’s true,” James said, his expression brightening impossibly quickly. He gave her a loud, overdramatic kiss, and she grinned. “God, how are you always the best?”

“I’ll remind you of that the next time you whinge about my not letting you put an invisibility booster on the Camry.”

James side-eyed her and decided to drop the subject before his current streak of emotional honesty could guilt him into admitting that he’d successfully installed the booster nearly six months ago. Considering the hormonal volcano and all that, it was self-preservation. “Hey, now we’re getting somewhere! What are some names that’d sound good before Fleamont or Euphemia?” 

“That’d be none of them,” Lily sighed, and then a crash from downstairs, a muffled oath, and a delighted shriek of “UNCLE SIRIUS, THAT’S A BAD WORD” signaled that the matter would have to be shelved for another day.

Enemies Part 2 Joker x Reader

Warning: Torture

Part 1

J laughed as he saw his new toy, her face black and blue. She glared back at him, something he admired.

“There’s my pumpkin!” He playfully sat on her lap and cupped her face. His grin got even wider when she winced.

“Just wait until I get out of here, clown. I’ll make you scream.” She grimaced when he shut his eyes and let out a moan.

“Oh, baby. I bet you can. I promise to return the favor.” He laughed and leaned closer towards her.  She yanked her head back and succeeded in banging her head against the back of the chair, making her muffle a yelp. J, being the infuriating asshole he is, laughed at her. He then casually caressed her shoulders and arms, looking up at the ceiling in thought.

“What was it you said to me at the meeting? It wasn’t a pleasure doing business with me? Aw, I’m sorry, pumpkin. Is it a pleasure now?”  She continued to glare, no words could describe the hate she was feeling. Her legs were falling asleep under his weight, leaving them with an uncomfortable tingling sensation.

“Did you think you can just demand half of Gotham? Say ‘no’ to my generous offer of being my queen? Oh no, no, no. Do you want to see my toys?” The creepy grin never left his face.

“I want to see you dead.” She spat out. He pouted.

“For a nice looking girl, you aren’t very nice.” She didn’t know how to respond to that. She wasn’t used to people commenting on her looks, even if it wasn’t a great compliment. When she didn’t reply, he sighed and got off of her lap. She discreetly took in gulps of air, she literally couldn’t breathe with him on top of her.

“What shall we do today?” He muttered to himself while picking up a shock collar. Her eyes widened. When he looked back at her, he smiled.

“You seem to like this! Maybe it can be used in a different context in the future.” He winked. She gulped despite herself. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.

He placed it on her neck and made sure it was on tight, almost choking her. I will not beg. I will not beg. I will not beg.

“Maybe this will spark something between us. I’m ecstatic to meet the new you!” She wished her hands weren’t tied down so she could dig her nails into his neck. Although she was positive that a shock collar wouldn’t ‘change’ her, she didn’t know how high it was set up or how many times he planned on shocking her with it.

“Psycho.” She muttered. His jaw tensed and he zapped her. Her teeth clenched and her hands strained against the binds, desperate to tear the collar off. O-K he definitely had it on the highest setting. He shocked her again for good measure. An embarrassing high pitched squeal escaped her. Do not cry. You’re worthless if you cry.

“Well that is about the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. Care to make that noise again, princess?”

“I hope you burst into flames.” She panted.

“Watt? You want more watts?” He giggled.

“Yeah that was terrible.” He frowned and shocked her again. Her teeth clicked and she grunted.

“Christ, would you stop that!”

“Now, here’s how things will go; you will be a good little girl and do as daddy says, if not, you get electricity running through that pretty little head of yours. I guess you could say I’m in charge of you.” He giggled again and she rolled her eyes, earning another shock.

“No. Sass.” He said through gritted teeth. Somehow she knew he would burn a hole through her neck, because there was no way in hell she wasn’t going to smart off to him.

“You don’t own me. Chart that up on your stupid puns-” His hand shot out to grab her chin.

“Do you have any tattoos?” Her eyes widened.

“Screw you.”

“In due time, now answer my question.”

“Seriously, screw you.”

“Don’t make me go looking, although I’ll be happy to-”

“Jesus Christ- No! Alright, no!”

“Oh! Goody, I’ll be nice, where do you want it?”

“I hope you get thrown out of a plane, and then get hit by another plane mid-air.” His lips twitched in amusement.

“Navel? Chest?”

“I’m going to destroy you.”

“Wrist? Lower….extremities?” He looked her up and down and smirked.

“Demolished.” He leaned in close, almost touching her lips.

“Tramp stamp?”

“Nothing left. No salvageable remnants whatsoever.” She gritted her teeth and stared at the wall directly behind him, refusing to make eye contact.

“Navel?”  Something flickered behind her eyes. He noticed and forced her to look at him.

“Don’t.” She wasn’t going to beg, but it sounded like a plea. He feigned confused innocence and cupped a hand to his ear.

“Wha?” She did a slow blink and clenched her jaw.

“Don’t. Please.” The hand stayed by his ear. He theatrically widened his eyes.


“Annihilated.” Y/N whispered. She jumped as he let out his unusual laugh, the room quickly filling with the sound of him gasping for breath. Despite every defiant bone in her body telling her not to, she smiled. She didn’t know why it amused her so much to see the Clown Prince laughing on the ground, tears streaming down his cheeks. Her giggle surprised even her, and soon she found she was unable to wipe the smile off of her face. J got up off of the ground and sat in her lap again.

“Oh, doll, I knew I would like you.” Suddenly his touch wasn’t repulsing, and she remembered how his lips felt against hers in his club.

“Now, doll, why don’t you rule this kingdom with me? Be my….be my…”

And despite every defiant bone in her body, she whispered out,

“Your queen.”

Ashicolo Headcanons

Before I forget them all, I just had to get them down. Thanks @ashurcortas for your help and for fangirling with me XD

  • Nic being super angry when finding out Ashur is still alive and lashing out until he realizes that Ashur is simply just TAKING it because he knows Nic has the right to be mad
  • Ashur being super charming around Nic and Nic being uncomfortable half the time and having no idea what to do about it
  • Ashur and Nic teaming up for the same goal and being BOSS at it
  • Other characters being uncomfortable when Nic and Ashur get really into their banter because they have no idea whether they should break it up, let it continue, or…
  • Comedy gold and off the chart sass levels
  • Both being absolute dorks half the time
  • Cleo as the #1 Ashicolo shipper… as soon as she proves that Ashur will do absolutely NOTHING to endanger her best friend’s happiness
  • Ashur being accepted into Cleo and Nic’s friend group
  • Magneo and Ashicolo double date: Nic and Magnus argue the whole time while Cleo and Ashur, after trying to get them to stop, simply hold polite conversation until Nic and Magnus run out of steam
  • Ashur being extremely protective over Nic because he is aware of the full danger Amara can be
  • Constant casually touching and constant excuses
  • Adopting a dog when all of this is over and naming her Mira. Or Amara just so they can casually call her a bitch.
  • Basically them being the weird gay uncles of the series 

I officially forgot how much of a mess this god damn show turns me into after a single episode. I don’t even know what to say or where to start, but lets try…

  • The sass in this episode was off the charts 
  • Frucien - my heart, my poor heart. No okay I don’t know how I am going to deal with this. It is obvious he’s been keeping her safe because he needs her to do the spell, but at the same I still feel like he probably actually does like her. And it is so cruel to give me scenes with him buying flowers & protecting her. I don’t know what to feel because they are two of my favourite characters and I wanted it to happen so badly. 
  • Lucien - it’s about time we get to see the real agenda he has going on here. I’m slightly disappointed because I was half hoping he would be Team Mikaelson but I’m also completely not surprised. I’ve been waiting for someone to try the whole “I’m gonna become an Original” story line and I’m pretty excited to see what is gonna happen. If anyone was going to pull it off, I feel like he has the best chance (can he just not hurt Freya in the process k yes thanks). Only thing now is it is a lot more likely he is going to die *sigh* but then again maybe the spell will work and he’ll after the join the show time?
  • I feel so sorry for Kol but at the same time does he have to be a little shit 24/7?! I’m wondering if they are going to end up putting him back in a witch body before the end of season seeing as he is only going to get much worse
  • I wasn’t all that keen for a Marcel, Josh & Vincent team up but it actually worked really well.
  • So much Freya in this episode which was super nice, but hey here we go again with the Freya is in danger story line (only hopefully she isn’t actually going to be hurt). Is it so hard to allow her to be happy and safe? 
  • The Klayley feels - I love the banter these two get going, whether you ship or not you have to adore the way they interact with each other. 
  • Poor Elijah, I don’t know how he puts up with the bullshit his family forces him to deal with tbh. The man literally doesn’t get a second to himself.

okay I’m going to continue crying now, message me if anyone wants to join me and my feels

10x16 Highlights
  • Suicide by candlestick eww
  • Dean checks out a nun
  • Everyone is upset that Cas isn’t there
  • Return of the EMF meter!
  • “Dean, she’s married to Jesus.”
  • Rowena is the sassiest sass in hell
  • Strange flashbacks to the Italian nun
  • Dean’s confession literally everyone is crying
  • Destiel off the charts I mean “There’s people. Feelings. That I want to experience differently, or maybe for the first time” jfc this is hardly subtext at this point
  • Dean doesn’t want to die oh no baby
  • Rowena beats up a lady like a bamf
  • Wtf she put her finger in the painting
  • Sam likes fanfic pass it on
  • Hamster ^.^
  • Sam is driving??????
  • Super emotional talk my babies are growing up I cry

Kitty Winter

By BSB Lyndsay Faye

Sherlock Holmes is as reliable on the subject of his own opinions regarding females as John Watson is about trifling matters like chronology.  No, seriously—they’re both equally skilled humans when it comes to communicating their own facts.  Take, just to preface this piece, Holmes on the subject of women:

“Women are never to be entirely trusted—not the best of them.” –The Sign of Four

“Puurrr scritch knead hsssss prrrrrrrr, you are so awesome I can’t stand it, let’s be pals forever.” –Actual (Paraphrased) Sherlock Holmes Behavior with Several Women from the Canon

Sherlock Holmes treats women just as he treats men, for the most part—well when he thinks them honorable, poorly when he thinks them duplicitous.  Meanwhile, nowhere does Sherlock Holmes prove himself more of a gallant pussycat than when it comes to Kitty Winter, as he clearly takes every measure he can to shield her from the long arm of the law.

But this isn’t about Sherlock Holmes, and I have a confession to make.  My Baker Street Irregulars investiture (unexpected when it came, cherished today) is Kitty Winter.  I am not the first to carry this ferocious nomenclature.  ASH, BSI Maureen Green was the original, and she tragically passed before I had the opportunity of meeting her.  I regret this as I wander about with her pseudonym, hoping she approves posthumously.  Additionally, Kitty as a character (and as an emblem of the population of females she embodies) is very important to me in other ways, so let’s talk about those. 

Let’s talk about slut-shaming for a second, shall we?  Don’t do it.  Sherlock Holmes didn’t, so why should we?

If you’re clutching your pearls right now, read no further, because Sherlock “Misogynist” Holmes behaved in a much more civilized manner.  “The Illustrious Client” emphatically resides in my top five canonical cases for several reasons.  One is that we very seldom see Holmes miscalculate, so it is something of a bitter pleasure to watch his ass being handed to him after sassing five too many thugs (or simply the wrong thug, the “unlucky” thug, the one named Baron Adelbert Gruner).  When heroes are too complacent or too competent, we lose interest, so Holmes’s fallibility in this instance is extremely valuable in the storytelling sense.  Far more interesting to me, however, is the way in which he treats Kitty Winter.

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During the Victorian era, it was thought decorous to cover the legs of tables lest improper thoughts arise, whilst concurrently, wicked dirty sloppy epic porn was being written (and published), probably because people thought hovercraft tables were weird and were hoping for a mahogany stem from time to time so they could picture a clawfoot ottoman when wanking in the shower. I figure people can already parse my thoughts on hypocrisy at this point, so I’ll stick to hard data.   Women fell into five categories, so far as I can tell: virtuous youth, virtuous matron/widow, not-white-so-you-don’t-count, wife, and whore.

Sherlock Holmes in “The Illustrious Client” is consulted upon an unlikely topic, as I’m fairly sure he abhors domestic squabbles and wishes he could confine himself entirely to locked rooms: Baron Gruner is about to marry Violet de Merville, a beautiful (and rich) and poised (and rich) woman whose male chaperones think it might be a bad idea for her to marry a dude who almost certainly shanked his exes.  This might have devolved pretty quickly into a revolting moral fable, but when Sherlock Holmes agrees that Violet ought not expose herself to quite so many shivs, he brings in a survivor of the identical abuse: one Kitty Winter.

It’s worth pointing out that most “Kitty Winter” pictures tagged on tumblr look like this:

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Violet is set up by the men in the consulting room as being nine hundred percent cray-cray: “To say that she loves him hardly expresses it. She dotes upon him; she is obsessed by him. Outside of him there is nothing on earth. She will not hear one word against him,” reports Colonel Damery, who gives us a clue as to the state of the sitting room by refusing to remove his gloves for the entire interview.

Holmes initially declines to approach the potential victim in person.  Instead, he visits Gruner, warns him off, is warned off in turn, and reports back to Watson.  I will paraphrase his summary of these events with the words, “I Visited Baron Gruner’s Chinese Pottery Barn and Snuff Sex Shoppe, And All I Got Was This Shitty T-Shirt.”

Enter Kitty Winter.  In Watson’s words, Shinwell Johnson was seated and:

…beside him on the settee was a brand which he had brought up in the shape of a slim, flame-like young woman with a pale, intense face, youthful, and yet so worn with sin and sorrow that one read the terrible years which had left their leprous mark upon her.

So Kitty Winter is a hooker.

Let’s make no bones about this.  We are as close as we ever, ever, ever come here to Doyle mentioning “unfortunates” existed.  Why is Kitty Winter a fallen woman?  She hasn’t done anything wrong, not that we know of.  She seems a kind, intelligent, wryly funny person.  When indirectly asked how she was found, Kitty quips, “Hell, London, gets me every time.”  Her suburb is clearly uncomfortable, her occupation the eldest one, her mind sharp and her sass factor off the charts.  Sherlock Holmes is meant to be squirrelly around the ladyfolk, meanwhile, and might presumably have shied away from this jezebel:

Holmes smiled. “I gather we have your good wishes, Miss Winter.”

Nah.  Holmes is fine.

“…well, there, she’ll speak for herself,” Shinwell “Porky” Johnson avers.

Hell yeah she will.  In the Granada adaptation, she does so without words:

If I were left to my own devices entirely, I’d quote everything Kitty Winter said throughout the entire case, but that would prove inefficient.  First off, she sits there in this room full of men—a nark, a consulting detective, and an army doctor—and tells them without any trace of shame that Baron Gruner ruined her.  She mentions, “Porky Shinwell has been telling me. He’s after some other poor fool and wants to marry her this time.”  Baron Gruner never offered to marry Kitty.  She’s confessing to three Victorian men that she had sex with the Baron and he hadn’t even proposed.  She loved him, so she slept with him—that’s what Kitty has admitted in the Baker Street sitting room.  Does Holmes throw her to the kerb (curb)?  No.

Holmes asks her, very courteously, what more she can tell them.  And she answers:

I tell you, Mr. Holmes, this man collects women, and takes a pride in his collection, as some men collect moths or butterflies. He had it all in that book. Snapshot photographs, names, details, everything about them. It was a beastly book–a book no man, even if he had come from the gutter, could have put together. But it was Adelbert Gruner’s book all the same. ‘Souls I have ruined.’ He could have put that on the outside if he had been so minded.

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You can call Gruner whatever you like.  Call him a serial murderer, a philanderer, a liar, a killer, a fiend, a brute eager to trample anyone in his path.  Whatever you call him, Kitty Winter had the guts to say she’d face down his fiancée as a last resort, and when Holmes offers to pay her for this service:

“None of that, Mr. Holmes,” cried the young woman. “I am not out for money. Let me see this man in the mud, and I’ve got all I’ve worked for–in the mud with my foot on his cursed face. That’s my price. I’m with you to-morrow or any other day so long as you are on his track.”

What a woman, as some have said.  What a woman!  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was passionate on the subject of divorce reform, as well he should have been.  Holmes in an uncannily Doyle-like voice protests to Violet de Merville:

But I really did plead with her with all the warmth of words that I could find in my nature. I pictured to her the awful position of the woman who only wakes to a man’s character after she is his wife–a woman who has to submit to be caressed by bloody hands and lecherous lips. I spared her nothing –the shame, the fear, the agony, the hopelessness of it all.

Of course this doesn’t work, but Kitty does Holmes one better.  This is one of the most striking feminist passages in the entire canon, because Kitty gives zero fucks about Violet, but she’s there to say her piece anyhow, and meanwhile Holmes has brought a whore to show-and-tell to serve as his evidence, so we are already waaaaaaaaaaaay outside the land of shrouded table legs here:

I am his last mistress. I am one of a hundred that he has tempted and used and ruined and thrown into the refuse heap, as he will you also. Your refuse heap is more likely to be a grave, and maybe that’s the best. I tell you, you foolish woman, if you marry this man he’ll be the death of you. It may be a broken heart or it may be a broken neck, but he’ll have you one way or the other. It’s not out of love for you I’m speaking. I don’t care a tinker’s curse whether you live or die. It’s out of hate for him and to spite him and to get back on him for what he did to me. But it’s all the same, and you needn’t look at me like that, my fine lady, for you may be lower than I am before you are through with it.

Later in the case, highly dramatic events occur.  Holmes is beaten to a pulp, Watson is devastated, Gruner gloats, and Kitty ends up throwing vitriol in her persecutor’s smug face.  Most tellingly, I think, Holmes is severely injured in act three, and he then enlists allies.  Of course he assigns Watson the essential role of affable decoy—Watson was practically gnashing his teeth over Holmes’s sickbed, which is lovely in its own right.  But then Sherlock Holmes brings Kitty along with him to burgle the house.

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Clearly, Holmes thinks she might know where the lust diary is.  But it doesn’t matter to him that she lives in Hell, London.  It doesn’t matter that she’s a prostitute.  It doesn’t matter that she rode Baron Bruner like a rodeo cowboy when only men were meant to have sex drives.  Sherlock Holmes gives nil shits on all of these topics.  And I appreciate that, because I adore Kitty Winter.  And I would argue that—despite his nasty comments on the subject of hairpins and curling-tongs—Sherlock Holmes did too.

Me: Man, Minkowski’s sass and sarcasm levels were off the charts this episode. I guess being repeatedly called a fuck-up by people who think she can’t handle her job, drowning extreme levels of self-doubt and guilt and fear, failing again after years of never being quite good enough, and then being isolated from everyone you care about will really do a number on…

Me: *looks at Eiffel*

Me: 💡

Me: (very soft) Noooo.

Me: You stop this hurtful nonsense this very minute, guys.

The CARYL "Love Story" - After All Look Far They've Come

Almost all of the best and most memorable love stories, whether we are talking history, TV or real life for that matter have something in common, something that creates adversity, separation and even ridicule by those who either don’t understand, don’t want to understand or are simply incapable of recognizing the depth one person can connect to another.

Timeless love duos are often discouraged and even ridiculed, especially when their journey includes overcoming a litany of obstacles to get to that “crucial moment” when their love and devotion reaches it’s cusp and the passion built up diminishes every grain of doubt ever thrown in their way. 

Great love or at least deep-timeless love is not something that happens immediately and while later on it might feel like the feeling swept over you in an instant I believe that by the time true love is completely acknowledged the heart simply can’t recall a time the feeling wasn’t there.

As a relationship develops, the bond between two people grows and while the pace varies greatly from person to person, the transition of what one means to the other - friends, best friends, allies, lovers, soulmates - is a journey that encompasses all the moments and shared experiences that make that love story something to remember.
Like everything else in life, love that doesn’t come easy or love that is “messy” or complicated is the love that can inspire a greater appreciation and greater meaning to both those experiencing it and those on the sidelines cheering it on.

The CARYL connection has gone through the “slow burn” development for four seasons and as such features a significant number of meaningful moments that show Carol and Daryl overcoming, surviving and ultimately connecting together despite the odds being very much stacked against them, and doing so in a calculated but clearly progressive manner.

So much emotional baggage has been rehashed between Carol and Daryl and like other major “loves” they continued coming together one way or another no matter how painful or intense their moments happened to be. Obviously working through the rough times was important to both since they continued seeking each other out instinctively, choosing each other’s presence repeatedly and very consistently.

This natural pull to the comfort and acceptance of each other’s presence has always been there and despite the complications of Season 4 it looks like not much will have changed in that aspect in Season 5 either.
The reconciliation of both Carol and Daryl has always been clear within the CARYL boundaries because together they bring out the best “versions” of themselves AND spur each other to want more and expect more for themselves.

After being separated I believe that it is exactly that aspect of their relationship that’s going to resonate the most to both them and the others in the group.
CARYL has always been about the journey and not about the endgame - their story is already about LOVE but what makes it beautiful and compelling is watching them get there and allowing it to happen!

Season 1 CARYL - Introductions

At the beginning of TWD series Carol and Daryl appeared to have become aware of each other’s presence at the quarry just outside of Atlanta.

Carol arrived there with her husband (aka despicable excuse for a man) and only daughter Sophia in the same group with Shane, Lori and CarlDaryl on the other hand was there with his older brother Merle Dixon who eventually gets left behind in Atlanta and disappears very early on in the Season.

We don’t know exactly how much interaction Carol and Daryl back then but it’s safe to say that they definitively knew of each other and seeing how it was Daryl to hand Carol the pickaxe so she could stop Ed’s re-animations we know that SHE left a BIG impression on HIM.

Chances are Daryl knew about Ed’s abusive ways and as he is extremely observant I bet he took note of Carols tendency to always protect Sophia and keep her close to her at all times. Carol, on the other hand, was more than likely aware of Daryl in the camp not just because of his volatile temper but also because he was the hunter-the provider and she was most likely one of the women responsible for meal preparation.
They saw each other, knew of each other and chances are both already knew that they had painful things in common.

Knowing both of their history now I presume Daryl would have noticed and admired her mothering and Carol would have known that he was troubled but inherently good and kind despite the Dixon temper.
The pickaxe scene is most likely something that Daryl never forgot and it most likely was the moment he realized and decided that she was worth watching-out for!

Season 2 CARYL - Recognition

Their initial “real” interaction started out with the search for Sophia and evolved through both of their attempts to keep the other from “slipping away” into their emotionally-damaging patterns of living and existing in this world.

Their abusive pasts allowed them to completely understand each other’s limits and form a relationship based entirely on unconditional acceptance, understanding, support and complete freedom to be the person they were never allowed to be in the first place.

Carol recognized the abused little boy who was still trying to prove his manhood and who was as unsure of his worth as she herself was in the very same group. Daryl recognized Carol’s need for hope to keep believing Sophia could still be found and he desperately wanted to be the one to make that happen - in her he saw how a mother should react to a child in danger and having never had that on his own he wanted to preserve it and keep it going till the very end.

Sophia’s fate while tragic was also a stepping stone for their connection to grow in a different way because after the barn it was Daryl that needed hope to continue believing he was worthy of having a place in the group AND in her heart despite the perceived failure he was battling.

While painful to watch at times the foundation of the depth of their relationship was essentially hatched during those emotionally charged battles with neither willing to let the other go to backpedal to the start.

They recognized each others pain on the Greene farm and very quickly saw that it was one and the same - Daryl stayed in the group because of Carol while Carol didn’t get consumed by her own grief after Sophia death because Daryl needed her and because he cared for her in an honest way.

Neither had expectation of the other and that seemed to be a new thing for them both.

Season 3 CARYL - Testing the Waters

While Season 2 cemented the deep emotional friendship between Carol and Daryl the transition to Season 3 showed a slight shift in their relationship.

In the premiere it becomes obvious very quickly that things were different between them and that they’ve gotten much closer since leaving the farm. The comfort level was certainly much higher than how Season 2 ended - so much so that we have a lighter yet stronger Carol shooting up the place alongside Daryl and we even see her tease a very flustered and much milder Daryl about “screwing around” and “going down first”.

There were some spectacularly emotionally charged CARYL moments in Season 3 - “Cherokee Rose on the Grave”, “Rescue”, “Stay Safe”, “She’ll Understand”, “Don’t Underestimate Me”, “Glad You Are Back”… Several times I was even predicting “canon” status updates!

However ultimately Merle’s Return and then Merle’s Death (sob) disrupted the CARYL evolution or at the very least put it on pause until the rest of the emotional baggage is handled and both are ready to stop “testing the waters” and just “take the plunge” already!

Season 4 CARYL - Finding Comfort and Finding Courage

We started season 4 full of expectation, positivity, enthusiasm and renewed gusto of hopefulness for both Carol & Daryl and their “special relationship”.

The first couple of episodes featured significant CARYL moments - “I liked you first”, “you gotta learn to live with the love”, “Pookie”, “Gotta Be”…all of which reinforced the connection shared but also strongly spotlighted the dynamic to the audience.

Today we know that we got so “lucky” at the start because Scott Gimple wanted to make sure Carol and Daryl went through a little extra bonding because they would be separated for a huge chunk of Season 4! Not an ideal situation for Carylers but it’s important to note that while light on physical scenes we did get some strong CARYL-related moments, media coverage and CARYL parallels in the second half that were meant to keep the relationship going until the upcoming CARYL reunion in Season 5.

The Carol and Daryl of 4A were portrayed as a lot more comfortable with each other, there is fun banter thrown around and Carols signature sass has gotten even bolder when it comes to teasing a visibly more relaxed Daryl Dixon - Pookie. Their dynamic and off-the-chart chemistry paints them as a very successful duo who work together very well and we even see Daryl being the one comforting Carol and reaching out to her without her encouraging it or inviting it in any way.

There is absolutely nothing good I can say on the 4B plot twist or the supposed “reason” Carol was exiled BUT it’s important to mention that this move has/had the potential of driving the CARYL dynamic further because it created an emotionally charged situation that needed addressing.

Essentially by removing Carol from the prison the show was able to set up a “day of reckoning” for CARYL because it forced Daryl to face what his life could be or what he might feel like if “his person” was no longer there.

It created a situation where feelings had to be involved and Daryl who fears feelings was forced into examining what Carol meant to him and what he would be willing to do to keep her if he ever saw her again. The guiding relationship in his life was once again ripped away from him and her being gone may have acted as a catalyst for him to realize that complacency and taking her for granted is not something he could afford to do anymore.

Daryl essentially needs to find some courage and man up when it comes to his relationship and whatever feelings he might be harboring for Carol OR risk losing her for good - there is only so many second chances a person gets.

TWD has been dropping hints and allusions to CARYL’s deep bond and designing moments where developing feelings on both sides are heavily implied - for four seasons now without any clear-cut labeling of what the “something” between them really is.
Naturally Carylers expectations are and always will be geared toward further development of this connection or at the very least a clearer definition of what they really mean to each other!

CARYL has the potential to be a truly epic kind of love - all the fundamental, building blocks are there, the spark is definitively there, the emotional obstacles needed to break through are there and we now even have the physical separation of the “lovers” in place as well!
The reunion to follow could very well ignite the “slow-burning” fire we have kept vigil over for so long and the CARYL canon moment could become a reality now more than ever!

Carylers have a HUGE chance of seeing Daryl and Carol finally admitting their ever present feelings for each other!
Carylers have a HUGE chance of seeing a moment of true happiness in the lives of two people who have endured so much and lost so much already!

The odds are in our favour this time! And apparently filming spoilers…

The culmination of all the evidence, all my interpretations and my determined optimism all point to a happy CARYL resolution!

CARYL On My Lovelies - After All Look How Far They’ve Come