A/N this has been linked to tumblr before and then deleted. It’s such good fun though and it’s in need of an edit (cos it was like the third multi fic I ever wrote) so I’m reposting it!
Reid x reader
“Guys I’m out. Going without sex or orgasms for this long is not worth a grand or the bragging rights in my opinion,” Emily handed her two hundred dollars to Derek with a defeated look on her face. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a very handsome fella over there that just offered to buy me a drink. I’m fairly certain he’s gonna be taking me home tonight.” She downed her drink before sauntering across the dance floor to where a dusky haired male had been sat intently watching her for the last hour.
“So it’s just Y/N and Pretty Boy left,” Derek grinned at the pair of you, adding the money to the envelope already containing his own and Garcia’s buy outs.
“You just wanna give in now Y/N?” Spencer looked over at you, a smirk on his face.
“Nope. I’ve got this. I can beat you. I will prove that guys need sexual intimacy more than girls.”
“Oh Y/N come on. We knew it was a long shot any of us beating Reid, but if it was gonna be any of us then it was going to be Prentiss just because of her sheer determination. Just give in now, I saw you eyeing up that bartender.” Morgan raised his eyes at you, glancing over to where the hot bartender was leant over restocking the chillers. Oh my, he had a nice ass. You could definitely sink your teeth into that. You’d bet he had something nice he could sink into you as well.
Reid shifted in his chair, following your glance and leaning into you whispering, “Do it, do it, do it.“
You punched him on the arm, glaring at him.
“You’re not helping Spencer.”
“I’m not meant to be helping, I’m trying to win here. Plus, which one of you was it that paid that escort to come on to me when we first started this little bet?”
“No idea what you’re talking about,” you averted your gaze to the ceiling.
What? It had been the only way you’d initially thought any of you could beat Reid.
Now it’s not like you were suggesting that the only way he could get laid was with a hooker. In fact when this whole thing had started you’d been as surprised as the rest of the team when Spencer had wanted in, you’d all kinda assumed he was a virgin, shocked when he’d revealed that actually his numbers were not that far below your own.
You’d just thought that if you could crack him first, then the rest of them would be easy pickings. So you may have contacted a local escort agency. May have suggested she come on to your friend and colleague and just pretend she’d noticed him across the room. May have offered to pick up the tab for whatever else happened afterwards.
Yet Spencer had recognised her as someone the team had questioned in a local case before you’d joined the team.
This had all started three months ago when Garcia had shown you all that ridiculous story of the 27 year old sex addict who gone along to a group therapy meeting, only for it to end up turning into an orgy.
You’d all laughed finding it hilarious initially until Emily had said, “And let me guess. It’s a man.”
“What makes you assume it would be a guy?” Derek had been offended on behalf of his gender.
“Statistically speaking it is more likely to be a male. Only 12 percent of women have openly admitted to actually being addicted to sexual activities,” the genius of the group had pointed out.
“Yeah but for it to turn into an orgy there had to have been some women in that group right. Other wise wouldn’t it have just been a load of guys beating themselves off together,” Derek stated.
“I agree with that. There had to have been some women there right? But you can bet it was the men that initiated it. Women find it easier to take care of their own needs without guys, whereas men prefer to have their needs taken care off by another person.” Emily’s come back had had you shaking your head, just waiting for Reid’s next comment.
“Actually, that’s not true either. Studies show that men and women have pretty much the same statistical preference when it comes to either engaging in intercourse with another person or masturbating alone. Around 65 percent of both sexes prefer sex with someone else as opposed to doing it alone.”
“And where do you stand on that preference Spencer?” You saw an evil glint in Derek’s eyes, him spotting an opportunity to make Reid feel uncomfortable.
“Depends what mood I’m in. If I’m feeling lazy then I’ll do it myself. If not then, I find someone to assist and to share pleasure with.”
You’d all turned to stare at him then, everyone’s jaws dropping.
“I’m not a virgin you know. Just cos I don’t come into work bragging about who I spent the weekend doing like Morgan or Emily do, doesn’t mean I’m not actually doing it.”
“Nicely said my friend, nicely said,” you held up your hand to him and he high fived it, a slight grin on his face.
“Hey, what about Y/N? She does it too. We all watched her walk of shame the other week,” Morgan looked directly at you and you shrugged.
“I don’t go into explicit detail like you though. And neither does Garcia.”
“Yet you two were happily discussing what new ‘toys’ you’d bought the other week.“
"What’s your point Morgan?” You were failing to see where this conversation was going.
“I just don’t like the assumption that it had to have been a guy, who initiated the orgy. Women are just as into sex as men.”
“Yes we are my handsome chocolate muffin, but I bet we could go longer without it,” Garcia patted Derek’s arm before looking around at the rest of you. You were all sat at around JJ’s desk, minus Rossi and Hotch who were at a lecture off site.
“You’re on then,” Morgan offered his hand out to Penelope who just gawked at it confused.
“Yep. Because I don’t think you could. So we’ll have a wager shall we. Which one of us can go the longest without any sexual activity.”
Penelope thought for a second before declaring, "I’m in. If these guys are.“
And so your little bet was born. You’d all agreed to be 100 percent honest with each other, and although you’d agreed never to profile each other, this was the one and only time you’d all allow it.
The rules were clarified, no sexual activity with another person and no self relief. Kissing would be allowed, but nothing further than that. The stake was set. Two hundred dollars from each of you, the winner taking the pot as well as bragging rights.
“Just to check…… Is this just sex with a member of the opposite sex? Or are we saying that all sex is off the table?” Both Spencer and Derek’s heads quickly turned in your direction, and you spotted a smirk on Emily’s face.
“All sex, regardless of gender….. But when this is over, please feel free to have as much girl on girl action as you like and to fill me in in explicit detail.”
“Haha not a chance Derek, what me and my lady friends get up to, stays between us,” you replied hearing him groan.
Penelope had been the first to cave only four weeks in. She and Kevin had been on a break when the bet was originally made, but now they were back together. She walked into work one sunny morning, an even brighter smile than usual across her face and a floral scarf round her neck despite the rising temperature.
She’d taken one look at us all staring at her quizzically before digging into her purse and pulling out four fifty dollar bills, sheepishly handing them over.
Derek had lasted another five weeks, him becoming increasingly cranky at work. It was hilarious watching him shifting uncomfortably whenever Garcia discussed her previous nights antics with Kevin.
Emily had suggested that you both wear skirts to the office the following day in order to break him, and so you both rocked up in tight fitting A line skirts with long slits up the side, finding every reason possible to have to bend over in front of him.
By the time he’d left for the day you’d both been certain he was going to explode. He sent a group text four hours later, a photo of himself lying next to a hot redhead.
And now three weeks after that Prentiss had declared defeat and from your view across the room it looked very much like she’d be getting her fix within a matter of hours.
You really wanted to win this, but you were also very, very frustrated. Sure you could cheat and go home and browse through a few choice videos on porn hub whilst having a good old intimate chat with your friend Ryan (Reynolds not Gosling, yes you’d named your rabbit. What of it?) but you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide it from the rest of the team the next day. As good a profiler you were, you were a horrendous liar when it came to personal matters.
But now it was down to you and Spencer…….and although the boy wonder had surprised everyone with his confession that he wasn’t a virgin and actually had had an arrangement with a bartender he’d met on a case, he’d already gone eight months without it and didn’t appear to be struggling at all.
Where as you weren’t used to going a few days without at least having a chat with Ryan. Poor old neglected Ryan, gathering dust in the back of your drawer. You’d make it up to him when this was over, maybe even buy him a friend to keep him company.
An idea sprung to mind,“Guys what if this was a draw?"
"What so you both admit defeat now together. That’s no fun. If you do that then it doesn’t prove anything,” Morgan shook his head at you.
“Oh come on, we’re long past making a point now.”
Garcia’s eyes suddenly lit up and she pulled Derek to her, whispering excitedly into his ear, a grin spreading over his face.
“Baby Girl I love it. But they are so not going to go for it.”
Spencer’s eyes narrowed at them, “Go For what exactly.”
“Trust me kid, what she’s suggesting is way out of your comfort zone. No way will you be down for it. Y/N maybe but not you. You just don’t got it in you Kid.”
“Haven’t got what in me?”
You watched the two of them wondering what the hell was running through their sadistic little minds.
“Penelope was suggesting that we change the bet now it’s just you two left…..And instead it becomes a contest to see which one of you can break the other.”
“Break the other? Why would I want to break Y/N? What would I even be breaking, I don’t understand.”
You did, you knew exactly what they were getting at. But you weren’t going to say anything….. Yet.
“Break her newly regrown hymen Reid,” Derek chuckled.
“Hymens don’t regrow, that’s a myth. It doesn’t matter how long a woman goes without sex it doesn’t grow………… Wait what?” he spluttered as his brain finally processed what Derek and Garcia were suggesting.
They fell apart laughing.
But…… It wasn’t actually a bad idea. And it would be seriously fun. You’d formed a friendship outside of work with Reid, but that definitely didn’t stop you thinking he was hot. And watching him getting flustered was the most adorable thing ever. And it would save you having to go out and find someone to fuck when the was all over. You could remain professional at work. It would just be sex after all.
“How would that even work? Like I have to convince Y/N to go to bed with me? Or she convinces me to go with her?” Reid interrupted their laughing and your train of thought and now it was your turn to exclaim.
"Essentially yes,” Morgan clarified when he’d regained his composure.
You and Reid looked at each other, each wondering what the other was thinking.
“Oh guys, it’s no secret that you two like each other. That night we played truth or dare….. You both admitted it and we’ve been waiting patiently for something to happen between you…. But you’re not giving us anything!”
Ugh, you’d drank so much that night it was a wonder your liver had not demanded removal from your body. And you’d been so embarrassed the next day when you recalled some of the questions you’d been made to answer, but also pleasantly surprised at some of the answers Spencer had given. But nothing had ever come of you admitting your mutual attraction to each other.
“So would we actually have to do the deed with each other? Or just get the other to admit that they wanted to? And how would you know which one of us won?”
“Either one is good with us, although of course you actually doing it would be mutually beneficial…. Especially after all this pent up sexual tension. And we’d just have to rely on you being honest with us.”
You took a deep breath turning to your friend. Were you going to regret asking this?
“What do you think Spencer? Think you can wear me down? I’m game if you are.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment.
“You know what, I think I can.”