henry-vIII

One time Henry VIII had a book when he was little and he wrote in really massive writing on the first page “this boke is myne” and I just find it so funny because that’s such a Henry VIII thing to do

Omg okay so in 1527 Henry VIII was negotiating a marriage between Mary and Francis, the King of France. Francis asked for a portrait of Mary because, you know, he wanted to see what his new wife looked like. Henry obliged, except he also sent Francis a portrait of himself which literally no one had asked for and I find it hilarious. “Oh, you want a picture of my daughter? Sure, but more importantly, here’s a picture of ME”

How the Tragedies Could Have Been Fixed
  • Hamlet: Hamlet, Laertes and Horatio go on a six-month vacation in France.
  • Romeo and Juliet: Better mail service.
  • Othello: IF EVERYONE JUST FREAKING LISTENED TO EMILIA FOR GOD'S SAKE
  • Macbeth: Less death more naps (or if he killed a guy as practice to see if he could Handle It)
  • Julius Caesar: Debate club
  • Antony and Cleopatra: Idk man this play was doomed from the start
  • King Lear: Don't let Edmund do things
  • Titus Andronicus: Everyone chilling out for like ten seconds seriously
  • Richard III: Kill Richard
  • Richard II: Don't kill Richard
  • Henry VIII: Kill Henry (was this even a tragedy?)
  • Henry VI: Fire Henry on day one and move on
  • Coriolanus: Tape Coriolanus's mouth shut
  • Timon of Athens: I don't even remember what happened in this play. All I remember is he became a Woods Hermit so rock on I guess
You can’t read The Six Wives Of Henry VIII by Antonia Fraser and NOT feel the worst for Katherine Howard out of all of them.

Granted, Anne got killed too, but at least she was smart and savvy and old enough to know what she was getting into.

Katherine Howard was just a ditsy, silly, unintelligent teenage girl in way over her head.  That’s why her story is so sad. 

If Henry had been one bit of the good Christian he claimed to be, he’d have just had her banished or sent to a convent.  

That he insisted on her death basically tells you what a frigging sociopath he was.