henry iv part 2

Practical Shakespeare Quotes

Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.

“What an ass am I!”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

“I am not a slut,”
As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,”
The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2

“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5

“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”

King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Making the beast with two backs,”
Othello, Act 1, Scene 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,”
As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1

“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,”
Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2
(Works great for courting hot widows.)

“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,”
Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,”
Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5

“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.”
A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5
(No judgement here.)

“My horse is my mistress,”
Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7
(Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)

“Thou dost infect my eyes,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,”
Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5
(“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)

“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,”
Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3

“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,”
Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1

“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!”
King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”
Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2
(This means exactly what you think it does.)

“And thou unfit for any place but hell,”
Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,”
Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
Othello, Act 4, Scene 2

“Out, dunghill!”
King John, Act 4, Scene 3

“This is too long.”
Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

MBTI as Shakespeare Insults

(The ones they would use, anyway.)

ENTJ - “Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows” Troilus and Cressida (Act 2, Scene I)

INTJ - “If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.”  Hamlet (Act 3, Scene I)

ESFP - “Thine face is not worth sunburning.” Henry V (Act 5, Scene II)

ISFP - “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”  The Comedy of Errors (Act 5, Scene IV)

ESTJ - “A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.”  All’s Well That Ends Well (Act 3, Scene VI)

ISTJ - “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon” Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene III)

ENTP - “If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.” The Two Gentlemen of Verona - (Act 2, Scene IV)

INTP - “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.” As You Like It (Act 2, Scene VII)

ESFJ - “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands” Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene III)

ISFJ - “I scorn you, scurvy companion.” Henry IV Part II (Act 2, Scene IV)

ENFJ - “I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.” As You Like It (Act 3, Scene V)

INFJ - “Thou art unfit for any place but hell.” Richard III (Act 1, Scene II)

ESTP - “Villain, I have done thy mother” Titus Andronicus (Act 4,  Scene II)

ISTP - “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”  The Comedy of Errors (Act 2, Scene I)

ENFP - “You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!” Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene I)

INFP - “Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee”  A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act 2, Scene I)

2

The way Hal (Jamie Parker) strokes the king’s hand in this scene (Henry IV Part 2 at The Globe) kills me. He’s like a little kid, playing with his dad’s hand while he tells him a bedtime story. It’s so familiar - so intimate and natural - one of the few times they actually make any physical contact and one of the only times the king isn’t yelling at him for being a wayward child. 

And then his dad sighs: “My Harry…” and Hal has to turn away to stop himself from crying 

Perfect scene.