i was digging through my old school bag just now and i realised how accurately the contents describe me

  1. a small wooden engraved pot full of salt and glitter
  2. bubbles
  3. novelty rubber and paperclip
  4. emotional haiku written for me by my friend
  5. glitter

i also found a piece of paper on which i’d written down the two most innuendo filled sentences ever spoken to me by a teacher in succession :

“it’s the hardest thing i’ve ever had in my mouth”


“it’s in my mouth an i don’t know what to do”

i know a lot of people don’t enjoy their time at high school but if these few items from my bag are anything to go on, i think mine was pretty damn good.