helplessness defined

Studying

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

… … 

Knowing you had a huge chemistry test coming up, you felt pretty helpless. Chemistry definately wasn’t your subject. You’d never been good at it nor did you like it. Stiles and Lydia were the complete opposite. Even Scott was doing good in school even though he was a part time werewolf.

You sighed as you sat down in the cafeteria. The last thing you needed right now was to fail in another subject. You grabbed your book from your backpack, found some yellow, green and red magic markers and were ready to give studying a try.

“I’m SO ready for this chemistry test! Definately gonna nail this one!” you heard coming from behind.

“Stiles, shut up.” Scott laughed as they both sat down next to you.

“Can you guys please just give me some space? I need to focus right now.” you announced.

You continued highlighting the text in your book with different colors. Everything now looked like a childish painting which was not what you inticapated.

“What does the different colors mean?” Stiles asked.
He quickly looked through your book, flipping every page you had previously been highlighting.

“What does red mean?” he asked quizically.

You clenched your jaw and took a deep breath.
“Red means I have no clue.”

“But there’s only re-“ he laughed but immediately got cut off by a kick to the leg by Scott.

You sighed and gave it one more try. Every word in the book now started to look like it was written in another language. You didn’t understand any of it.

Taking a deep breath you tried focusing one last time. Three’s a charm, right? "Ugh, I give up! I can’t do this!” you shouted, rougly closing your book and slamming it into your backpack, “I don’t understand anything!”. 

Both Stiles and Scott now looked at you with double pairs of very wide eyes. They both turned to eachother in confusion, then looked at you freaking out.

“Woah! Easy, champ” Stiles laughed, “We’ll help you.” 

“Well-” Scott started. “I have to meet up with Deaton, but you can handle this, right?” he winked at Stiles. 

Stiles and Scott were now communicating in a very foreign face-expression-language type of thing. 

“U-uh, yeah! Sure, yeah, definately, bro. It’s not like I have a life or anything.” Stiles stuttered. “I-I mean not that you take away my life or anything. You’re practically my life… N-not like that, I mean, you’re not my life, but you’re part of my life. You know?” he continued nervously, trying to discretely play it cool.

It was the middle of the day and the Stilinski’s house was completely empty. Sheriff Stilinski was working, as per usual, and you had your free period, so you figured you might as well kill some time and head over to Stiles’ house.

“You want anything to drink? Soda?” Stiles asked, entering the kitchen and heading for the refrigerator. 

“No, thanks. I’m good.” you replied, taking off your shoes and coat. 

The two of you headed to Stiles’ room. You sat down on his bed and layed out all of your books and markers. Stiles’ room looked more plain than you had expected it to be. Blue walls, red bedsheets - pretty neat, to be honest. As your eyes searched the room you noticed he had a lot of pictures on the walls attached to several different colored strings. 

“Hey, Stiles. What are those pictures?” you asked, pointing at the wall. 

He grabbed a hoodie and walked over to the bed. “Oh, those? They’re just some investigations I’m working on. You know, werewolfy stuff.” he explained. 

You noticed the majority of strings were red, and only a few of them were yellow. 

“What’s with the colours, though?” you asked, shifting your position on the bed.

“Well,” he started as he crossed his arms, “green are solved, yellow means working on it, and red means-” 

“Let me guess, ‘I have no clue’?” you smirked. 

“Pretty much.” he laughed.

You both changed positions on his bed, getting comfy as you were about to start working on chemistry.

“…composed of four carbon atoms and two nitrogen atoms, the nitrogen atoms being in the meta-position.” you mumbled. “What language is this?” you yelled in frustration. 

You were clearly upset over this. The two of you had been studying for hours on and off. Being the impatient person that you are, didn’t quite make it easer for Stiles as well.

He grabbed your pencils out of your hand and closed all your books as he laid them down on the floor. You looked at him, wondering what he was up to now. 

“How ‘bout we take a break?” he suggested. 

You gladly nodded and Stiles proceeded to grab a few movies for you to watch. 

Halfway in, the movie was getting more and more intenste, and you were about to pee your pants. “Stiles, that guys looks like you!” you laughed, referring to Thomas from Mazerunner. He didn’t quite understand why but laughed it off.

After a while he stood up and went to go get some more snacks. You wrapped yourself up in his big, fuzzy blanket, when you heard a weird buzzing sound. Stiles phone lid up the room. The phone was lying right next to you and you were so tempted to check his phone. You knew you shouldn’t have done it, but you finally gave in and glanced over at the bright screen. 

Scott Mccall: Did you tell her yet? How did it go? Does she like you back?

Your jaw dropped as you read it, Your heart started pounding faster than usual and you felt little butterflies appearing in your stomach. Does he like me? Is he talking about me? So many thoughts ran through your head, but just as Stiles entered the room, you quickly covered yourself in the blanket again, pretending like nothing had happened. 

“What’d I miss?” he asked, getting comfertable next to you.

“Oh, nothing. They’re just running around, screaming and stuff.” you attempted to reply in a calm voice.

Another intense scene appeared and you qickly wrapped your arms around Stiles bicep. You could feel his big muscels flexing, trying to appear larger than they actuall were. You smirked to yourself, and slowly slid your hand down to his, intertwining your fingers into his. A smile appeared on Stiles’ face aswell as yours. 

“Stiles?” you quietly asked, “I’m scared..”

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders tightly and shimmied closer to you. You turned your head to Stiles and looked at his beautiful, brown eyes. You had never noticed how good looking he was up close. At least not an inch away from you. 

An immediate thought popped into your mind. Kiss him. You already knew he liked you, so why not give it a shot. Scott probably made up an excuse to leave you and Stiles by yourself, so he could make a move on you. The adrenaline rushed through your body. You had made up your mind. Sitting up a bit, you descretely moved yourself closer to him. You placed one hand on his cheek, caressing it, and slowly turned it towards you. Stiles’ eyes were glued to the TV and he was not paying attention to your actions at all. At this point, you were so close to his face you could feel the heat from his skin. You placed a long kiss on his lips, and noticed he immediately kissed you in return.

His eyes widened as you pulled away, unsure of what and why this had happened. You laughed at his confused expression. 

“I-I just wanted to try..” you explained.
You took a deep breath,“Stiles, I saw a text on your phone from Scott,” you told him, as he reached for his phone, unlocking it and seeing the text. His eyes widened in shock.
“I didn’t mean to look. I-I mean, I did, since I in fact did look, but I don’t want you to think that I’m snooping in on your private stuff. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Well, now you know.” he awkwardly laughed.

“Yeah..” you awkwardly smiled in return. 
“I like you too, Stiles.” you smiled widely, going in for another kiss.

Ways Steeljaw is like an abusive cult leader
  • Hurts other characters and insists it’s necessary, and that at some point “they’ll understand” why he had to hurt them
  • Tries to make others feel guilty for leaving the group.
  • Hunts them down when they leave the group, despite their worries for their own safety.
  • Speaks condescendingly while acting as though “he knows better”.
  • Abandons so-called “brothers” when they disappoint him or prove useless to him despite their being comparatively helpless.
  • Defines others by their usefulness to their group and not as individuals.
  • Speaks of turning someone else’s homeworld into what is effectively a “promised land” for him and his followers despite the fact that someone else already lives there.
4

There you go. Number one, you remember what grass trimmings taste like. And two, you figured out you’re a coffee person. You’re not helpless. We’re defined by our choices. You just don’t remember yours. So, keep trying new things. See what your body remembers. Or, make new choices. The more you make, the less helpless you’ll feel. Even if nothing ever comes back you can still find yourself.

amazon.com
Super You: Release Your Inner Superhero: Emily V. Gordon: 9781580055758: Amazon.com: Books

Super You: Release Your Inner Superhero [Emily V. Gordon] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Superheroes don’t start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents’ murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham.

What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins

You can preorder my book now. I’m kinda freaking out.