Life will not always hand you exactly what you were hoping for. But with the right mindset, anything can be made into a positive. So, believe. Release good vibes. Have faith that what ever happens, something good will blossom.
[image description: a graphic featuring text laid over two boxes of different shades of blue.
the first box is smaller and contains two headings, “So your buddy’‘s disabled:” followed by “How Can I Help?” in quotation marks.
the second box is larger and contains a list of five subheadings and descriptions, which are as follows:
1. Pity parties are boring. I don’t need you to tell me how awful my life must be or how sorry you are that I have to deal with it. I don’t care. I’m doing exactly the same as everyone else - managing with what I’ve got.
2. Don’t assume I’m incapable. I can still open doors for myself and hold a conversation. Even with a crutch. Blind-blowing, I know. It’s frankly a little insulting how quickly people will rush to ‘help’ me when I’m using a mobility aide. If you’re not sure, then ask first! Or alternatively, wait for me to ask you.
3. Let me grab you on the stairs. Stairs fuckin’ suck and I may have to grab something very quickly in order to avoid collapsing. Sometimes that something may be you and I am always very grateful for your presence in this situation.
4. Meet in accessible spaces. If you choose to sit somewhere I can’t get to, i.e. upstairs, then I’m left with three options: a) I kick up a fuss and make you move, b) I get hurt by forcing myself to join you, or c) I sit on my own. None of these options are ideal for any of us but they could all be avoided if you’d sat somewhere else.
5. Listen to me. My condition and how I’m feeling with it changes from day to day, and what was fine yesterday might not be today. I will always try my best to communicate what I can and can’t manage; all you need to do is keep an open mind and listen to what I’m telling you.]
Not all of these points will apply to everyone with a disability, but certainly the 1st, 2nd and 5th should apply to almost everyone. I often find that nobody really knows what to do when they discover that I’m disabled, and I’m often asked “how can I help?” but never have much of an answer, so I finally thought I’d put together a masterlist for my friends to take a look at.
I get really angry at people who are mean to other people. Isn’t life hard enough without people making it worse for each other? I think the people who do, who set out to make others feel bad, feel bad and alone themselves and they don’t want to feel alone, so they make other people feel bad. So they’ll just feel bad but also maybe, not so alone.