help the city eat a rat


Pendleton’s drinking problem, there might be more than one reason for it.

Corvo is rescuing Dunwall from the plague in all ways possible. Eat them rats, Corvo, plenty of protein, mana too. Also pest control. Very pro-social.

I didn’t like Treavor at first, but now he is growing on me.

Prisoner 701

Sometimes I feel like me life is simply just a Dream.

Because its just too perfect.

I have a Dream job. One where I hold all the power and authority over others.

To be a policeman and prison warden makes me so hard inside. I wake up every morning and don my uniform with a giant hard on as I wonder which prisoner I will degrade and insult during the the day. 

I get to do whatever I want with my prisoners.

I simply enjoy how I can degrade and crush them for my own pleasure.

Is there anything more amazing than making a fellow man submit to your authority and rule by robbing them of their manhood? 

I have a Dream body that every man is jealous of and every woman wants to have the honor of being fucked in the mouth, pussy and butt hole. 

I’m naturally of a tall stature and broad shoudered which helps me to be the intimidating and charmingly suave policeman job i have.

But hey! I work hard in the gym for the body I have

Though I eat like a mother fucking monster (Yes, even junk food like donuts) but I never get fat. Don’t blame me, police chaps like me love donuts!

 And drink protein shakes like the gym rat I am for all that crazy gains

I have a Dream lifestyle that only so many people can barely Dream of themselves. As the hottest fitness cop in the city I’m featured on the cover of countless of magazines and advertisements.

I get invited to all the popular summer parties where i get to show off my adonis body and cocky smug handsome face.

And I easily become member of the most exclusive clubs and events where I get to wear my swanky tailored suits to show off my hunky body silhouette in style.

But my most treasured possession is my Dreamy smile.

Could you ever say no to someone with a smile like this?

At the end of every day I Iook at myself in the mirror while still wearing my hot cop uniform and think to myself.

My life Is so great….

Its almost like a dream.

First time doing a double twist story. Lemme know if you don’t get it so I can improve the story in future!

How to make explosives 101

(First time doing this and this was a little while ago so the details are sketchy)

So me and a group of friends started playing dnd and we were off to a great start. Our team consisted of a Ranger (me), a rouge that duel-wields crossbows, a sorcerer, a barbarian, and a paladin that kept looking at her reflection in her sword.

We met up in a library, left a city without a fight, killed a bunch of goblins, and convinced the new goblin leader to provide protection to travelers instead of killing them. 

So, after all that, we camped for the night and an old lady came over. She asked us to help her with a ‘rat problem’ and, while I said that it was probably a trap (and that she was probably gonna eat us), we went to her house anyway. Long story short, we get stuck in the basement and find out that she was a necromancer. The last thing you need to know is that our sorcerer had cast several fireballs to destroy the door and failed every single time.

[Rouge] “Hey Ranger! Do you have flour on you?”

[Ranger] *Surprised by the question* “Uh…yea why?”

[Rouge] “Can you give me some?”

I said sure and gave them the pack of flour. Their turn comes up…

[Rouge] “I put the pack of flour by the door and set it on fire to blow it up.”

Our entire party goes silent for a moment before we all start to laugh.

[DM] “Wait what?”

[Rouge] “Look it up. Flour is explosive.”

Sure enough, flour was indeed explosive. So the dm allowed it and the rouge blew up the door with the flour.

[Rouge] “See Sorcerer. That’s how you blow up a door!”

[Sorcerer] “I swear I’m gonna kill you.”

Afterwards, we killed the witch and, from that moment onward, the ranger (me) and the rouge weaponize the flour into explosive grenades and arrows.