help me what am i saying come on i obviously need help

Sentence Prompts

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Where are your pants?”

“I laugh because I hurt inside.”

“Please refrain from shooting her, we need her for later.”

“You look like an open autopsy.”

“That’s french for ‘go away’.“

“You know, I would help, but making fun of you is so much more satisfying.”

“No, you silly goose, it’s magic!”

“Put me down!”

“How much did someone pay you to wear that?!”

“What did you just do?!”

“Stop filming me, moron!”

“It was all me, by the way.”

“Look at this, ACTION ROLL! They’ll never see it coming!”

“You know ‘give me a warning’ means let me know BEFORE they come in here!”

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

“I may have mildly panicked…”

“Ooo, that must’ve hurt!”

“I am very, very bad under pressure!”

“Shut up, it’s fine, just chill, we’re fine, I’m fine, everything is cool, everything is good! We’re chill, nothing is happening and I am not freaking out, not at all, we’re FINE.””

“Now, not to be forward, but I love you.”

“I’m 72 different flavors of done with you.”

“Hey, on the ground there it says you’re a gullible shit.”

“It’s do or die, most likely die.”

“No it’s ‘Protect and Serve’ not ‘Get Rekt and Swerve’.”

“You make me smile.”

“Liam Neeson would do it.”

“Jail can’t stop me.”

“It’s four o'clock, don’t you think you should fuck off?”

“I remain confused.”

“As the wise Scooby Doo said; “Ruh Roh”.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I feel fabulous.”

“Can someone shoot him?”

“Well this isn’t at all like High School Musical.“ 

“Quick, blend in!”

“At the moment, it seemed like a good plan, obviously it was not.”

“Well obviously nothing is going on here!”

“Can I help you?”

“Don’t be intimidated by my bloody and battered figure.”

“Is your name Bob? You look like a Bob.”

“KILL ME! KILL ME IN THE EYES!”

“Well that was unsettling.”

“Don’t judge me, but I may have murdered someone.”

“Why is there a picture of Steve Buscemi in your bathroom?!”

“My budget is 5 dollars, what are your recommendations?”

DOCTOR DREAMY | PT.1

pt1 | pt2 | (1/?)

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, eventual smut + expecting parents au

word Count: 4,724

request: sperm donor ex-boyfriend jimin 

↠ description: Okay, maybe in hindsight asking your ex-boyfriend, who you never really got over, to be your sperm-donor wasn’t the brightest of ideas.

cr.


“I want to have your baby,” is a particular string of words that is only considered acceptable in a certain number of situations.

Maybe between two lovers getting lost in the moment of their heightened feelings, and somehow the words just slip — that’s probably the most common occurrence of the phrase. Or maybe it’s a night out, alcohol in your system, and the words just sort of spill past your lips to the most ridiculously attractive stranger you’ve ever seen before you can even think to stop them. Even that, can still be considered at least borderline passable usage of the phrase. Hell, even the instance of a teenage girl proclaiming her love for her favorite celebrity with the heavy proclamation is still considered normal for the most part.

These, along with a few far-fetched others, were the only situations you could think of that allowed for the usage of those six words to be passable, yet, here you were, uttering that exact phrase, when you were in absolutely none of them. You weren’t getting caught up in the moment with lust-glazed eyes, you weren’t drunk and spewing nonsense at a bar to some guy, and you most certainly weren’t some star struck teenage girl staring up at her celebrity crush’s poster.

No, you were none of those things.

Instead, you were sitting across from your ex-boyfriend telling him that you wanted to have his baby… Yeah, totally passable usage of the phrase, right?

Keep reading

Here’s the full transcript of Mark talking Darkiplier in the livestream

(Time approx. 3 hours, 52 minutes to 4 hours, 4 minutes into the stream. And, yes, this took forever). Thought you’d like this, maybe.

I’ve bolded stuff I find especially interesting.

~~~~~~~

Mark: Long ago, a long time ago, I liked to do these scary edits because I just felt like doing scary edits and this is how Darkiplier got born. And then what happened was over time Darkiplier became less and less about the scary figure and more about this romantic figure, and it always rubbed me the wrong way. And I kind of shied away from Darkiplier for a while. And I really really really- if I was going to bring Darkiplier, and when we thought about this, we thought, okay there should be a Darkiplier route. And that was there from the beginning, and so when I wanted to do it I wanted to do it my way, and I wanted to do it right, and I wanted to have this unending level of creepiness. And at the same time, I didn’t want to step on the toes of Antisepticeye because I know there’s a big fan base of that, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that at all and I really don’t care that there’s more than one dark personalities of people. But when I saw the opportunity to have this character here, I spent like 8 hours editing this, like just meticulously every single RBG. This is a layer, we green screened this one, I color corrected it, I separated the RBG layers I added the shakes and glitchiness every frame. I worked on the voice, too. The voice took me the longest to figure out. Like the shakes! And my computer was dying this whole time cause I put my effects on here.

Tyler: The amount of time you had to spend rendering this.

Mark: And so, the audio’s actually three separate layers. It would have been two, but Kathryn helped me out on that one to make it more clear. It’s a normal pitched layer that’s edited, echoed, reverbed, mastered, and convoluted which means it’s just thrown off to the left and right, and then it’s a deep layer of that. But then to make it really come together- it didn’t live without this center channel that wasn’t convoluted but was centered. But getting that voice right was so pinnacle, so paramount to what I wanted to come out of this. And we did like thirty minutes of shooting various versions of me talking to the camera and I wanted to pick the exact dialogue that really kind of gave away my idea of what Dark is in not a terribly obvious way.

Tyler: The other thing, this was supposed to all be one video.

Mark: But YouTube annotations, this new version doesn’t allow you to link the same video multiple times, so these are literally the old videos that I first did when Darkiplier first came about, like, these are the ones, especially this one here, and then this is my cheap knockoff Darkiplier.

Amy: Canon Darkiplier.

Mark: Canon Darkiplier. And I’m going to readily admit something. I joked about Darkiplier because it didn’t seem like something people wanted to take seriously, and I’m okay with that on certain aspects but it had diverged into multiple different facets and multiple different personalities, and everyone had their own version of Darkiplier, and I thought it was hilarious that, “Hey, here’s my version of Darkiplier, and he’s an idiot.” Like, he’s just this weird emo kid. And then I stepped back from that, like, I stepped back. And you can even- in that time, when I was doing those videos, in this era, I was not very happy. I was kind of… I was pessimistic about a lot of things. And I felt like that bled through in a lot of things I did. And that’s why even October of last year I literally made Darkiplier an emo character. And then when we were getting to this, I thought about it like very carefully and I thought back to why I did it originally, and I did it originally because, well, Darkiplier wasn’t even a thing. Darkiplier was not a thing when I was making those videos. I just wanted to make some creepy stuff. And then I thought about that, and I was like if I want to make a statement about who this is, I need to own that and I need to put something out there that is not ambiguous, because I realize that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t have a solid character so obviously, people would come up with their own versions, they would fill in the gaps where they saw fit. So, when I made this I had to embrace it fully and fine-tune it down to exactly where I wanted. When you choose the “fake” choice carrying through to this one, I really wanted that to come through, except at the end to this video, where it gets silly, but that’s because the real me comes in and the real me’s an idiot. And I’ve actually watched this over and over again because I’m listening to the takes I put in here and I’m listening to my inflection and my tone, my demeanor and I’m imagining like how to refine it better next time when I bring him back, like how to do it better.

Tyler: I remember now, I set up the table.

Mark: Yeah, you did. You set up the table we had to change it out for clear glasses because the green screen was reflecting through. But yeah, even this, like the intersplices of anger, and this is me getting real deep in the meta of Darkiplier, like if that’s even a thing that can be- let me just pause it here. I don’t read too much into this but if there’s something that I want to take seriously, I want to actually do right. So, in my mind, Darkiplier is an entirely different person from me. But, much like Warfstache, doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He exists in another world entirely and bleeds through into this one. This is sounding really nerdy of me.

Tyler: I remember the Warfstache talk.

Mark: So Completely unironically, Darkiplier is a completely separate entity from who I am. But, he admires what I’ve accomplished, and he’s very much… people picked up on this, and people thought it was really creepy, because it’s what I wanted. He’s a social manipulator. He is literally, 100% manipulative. He leads you into this false sense of security, and he wants you to trust him because he wants to take advantage of you. That is literally what I wanted for Darkiplier. And how creepy and scary that actually is from the surface. Especially in this first bit, where he says, “If dinner is what you want, then I can provide.” And I wanted this to come across in a seductive way while also masking, like, this burning rage inside that breaks through the suave nature of it. That was my clue to reveal he’s not your friend. He’s not here to help you. He’s here to use you. And that also came across when I was thinking about, like, the effects. Like, his image shatters, he separates because he’s not entirely kept together, you know what I mean? So, I wanted like the drastic impacts of the rage pulling back suddenly to the calm nature and the demeanor and this last one, I was thinking was especially telling. It’s not me trying to break through, it’s his shell cracking.

Kathryn: I love that.

Mark: Yeah? It’s my favorite of all of them.

Kathryn: That’s one’s my favorite. I have legitimately just gone and watched that bit.

Mark: Yeah?

Kathryn: It’s really good.

Mark: Oh, thank you.

Kathryn: I really like that.

Mark: Yeah. And number 1 the visuals work hard on this one, but nailing the audio- that high-pitched ringing that a lot of people were like wow that really hurts my ears, that was by design. That was supposed to hurt because listening to him- a lot if inspiration for him comes from G-man from Half-life 2 and 1, like this weird interdimensional person that seems human but is obviously not and doesn’t obey the laws of physics, and is just like this shell of a person that’s in a suit. Not a suit, literally a human suit, and is trying to figure out how to puppet it right that you believe him, but he’s really good at it. And that’s where the scariness of Darkiplier, I think, really comes from, is because he seems like someone you can trust, and he will manipulate you, and take advantage of you, and literally use you, and to me that’s terrifying. Like that’s the antithesis of what I want to be and so if I’m going to make an opposite version of me, he’s gonna be the fucking worst. Like worse than any romantic story can ever bring about. He’s fucking awful.

Amy: It was convenient, though, I like the way it goes from Relax to this, like the video “Relax,” because then people were not expecting this. But it’s so nice to have it on Valentine’s Day. It works so well.

Mark: And then came the bullshit transition that we had to do. So, this is comical in a way.

Amy: It doesn’t drag it though.

Mark: Yeah it doesn’t drag. You get the scary. Tyler’s here-

Tyler: In Mark’s suit, which I have fit in, but not the pants.

Mark: He didn’t fit, we forgot to get a tie, like, we printed out a mask, and I looked at this and was like I could try to make this creepy, and then I went, I objectively can’t. Let me throw in some punch sound effects.

Tyler: I have to make sure, cause-

Mark: He couldn’t see shoot.

Tyler: No, I couldn’t, and I had to keep moving the mask cause there was one time we did this that the mask ended up completely on the side of my head and I was just like, hey Mark, you can’t touch my face.

Amy: The convenient thing about this, though, with all the glitches is that you can hide stuff with it.

Tyler: Yeah, and there’s a reason I never let go of Mark I have no clue where anything is.

Mark: Yeah, oh man. Oh, this, oh my god. Oh, and secret Easter egg- you know who Dark is because he doesn’t have a shadow. Totally intentional and by design.

Amy: His toes are missing too, but.

Mark: Shh he doesn’t have toes he’s so scary.

~~~~~~

.

Undercover - Jughead Jones

Hi! Could I get a Jughead x Reader imagine where the reader and Jughead are best friends, but the reader has feelings for Jughead but doesn’t tell him. One day she goes “undercover” to get info about Jason’s death for Jughead and he sees her undercover and realizes he has feelings for her, and then there’s some rated T action and fluff between them? Thanks!

I kinda twisted the meaning of it but it lead to *high pitched screaming*

Originally posted by squintlovely


Being best friends with Jughead Jones isn’t the easiest thing in the world. He’s not the friendliest person to begin with, but some can easily look past that, like yourself. You and Jughead had been close every since you could remember, but the summer before Sophomore year changed things. Jughead became more reclusive and less in touch with you. It all happened after Jason Blossoms’ death. The day before school started up again, you invited yourself over to his house. Needless to say, Jughead was surprised.

“Y/N?” He asked, the bags under his eyes telling you he must’ve just woken up. Despite the normal summer heat, he was wearing a loose sweater and sweatpants. Just seeing him again, after so long, made your heart flutter. You quickly pushed it down and regained your angry composure. “I haven’t seen you in months, Jug!” You said, obviously breaking him out of his tired state. He quickly pulled you inside his house, and you accidently bumped into his chest. It was so tempting to hug him, but you fought the urge and watched as he closed the door behind you. When he faced you, you saw how intense his gaze was. “I’m sorry about that, Y/N, I am.” He said, his tone serious. “I’ve been working on something,” he said as he walked past you, beckoning you to follow him. He lead you to his room then to his desk where an open laptop rested. Pages of text cluttered the screen and just by skimming through the document the words ‘Summer’, ‘Jason Blossom’, and ‘presumed dead’ caught your eye. You turned to face Jughead who stood, unmoving, next to you. “This is what you were doing?” You asked, turning back to study the words he had typed.

“Yeah, ever since I heard he was missing.” He muttered, but you couldn’t help but be amazed by your friend. His drive and dedication to his writing was eye-opening. You faced him once more with a grin on your features. “Do you need help?”

Keep reading

A very long time ago @jennthereaper and @simplyn2deep both sent me this prompt, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long, but the other day I was finally inspired to take a stab at it. I hope you enjoy!

From The Way You Said “I Love You” 

#26 Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

Stiles shakes his head stiffly.

The Stiles on the floor is still pleading with him around tears, but the noises of his despair are starting to fade, as if Derek were now hearing him from a distance. Even his heartbeat, a sound that Derek has been clinging to as an anchor for what feels like forever, begins to disappear.

Derek swallows and steels himself against feeling anything more than determination to get through this newest mess.

“What now?” he asks, tone clinical and firm.

Stiles answers him in a similar tone, his expression betraying nothing about what’s going on in his own head. A far cry from the Stiles that Derek first met a couple years ago, terrified and mouthy and young. “Now you wake up.”

Keep reading

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

“God, someone shut him up,” Erica groans. They’re all kind of at their breaking point by now; they’ve been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it’s just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it’s hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he’s just gotten so fed up with them all that it’s either storm out or kill someone, and he’s just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It’s a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. “Oh my god, is that what I think it is?”

Derek holds it up over his head. “Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own.”

“Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs.” Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek’s grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

“Why don’t I get a meatball sub?” Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. “You didn’t ask.”

“You just like Stilinski better,” she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can’t help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

“Mmm,” Stiles says. “Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me.”

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, “Okay.”

Keep reading

Sharing Is Caring

Originally posted by knightlley


Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request: “Hey! Can you write a JeffxReader? Where the reader is Clay sister (and have a secret crush on Jeff), someday she was going to sleep in Hanna’s house, but for some reason she didn’t stay to sleep and when she go home she find Jeff slepping in her bed. You can choose how it ends. Thank you! :D”

Words: 1.247

A/N: I am happy that I received a Jeff imagine! Although I didn’t want to leave Hannah alone, because I can imagine the reader being on the tapes after because of it. Yup, I am a little bit paranoid. Sorry. Anyways, I hope you like it and I would be grateful if you send other requests!
Thank you.

- G. x

Warning: (Y/H/C) is Your Hair Colour.


“Oh my God, you seriously like Jeff Atkins?” Hannah exclaimed excitedly and energetically as she knew the secret you’ve been keeping for years.

“Who wouldn’t like him?” You stated as if it was normal to like Jeff. Well, he was good looking, kind and funny. He had the characteristics you were looking for a boy and you knew that he was the one when you met him.

“Aw, I hope he likes you back.” Hannah honestly said as she played with your (Y/H/C) hair while you both sat on her comfortable double bed. You decided to have a sleepover because it has been awhile since you last spent time together. She was one of your close friends and you loved her presence.

“Well, he’s older than me and I am out of his league.” You shrugged your shoulders as you felt a little bit down for what you’ve just said.

“Oh, cut it off! You are beautiful, intelligent and sweet, it is impossible to not fall in love with you.” Hannah comforted you as she praised you with her sincere words.

“Aw, Hannah.” You looked at her with a wide smile and you hugged her. “Thank you.”

“It was the truth.” She hugged you back as a nice friend she was.

“Talking of these boys,” You started as you broke the hug and she hid her face behind her hands as she already knew the next question. “how are you and my older brother, Clay?” You flashed a smirk and you saw her cheeks turned red.

“Oh my God, I knew it.” She laughed, still having her face hidden. “We’re friends, (Y/N). We work at the movie theatre and we talk at school, that’s it.”

“Jesus, Clay never asked you out?” You shook your head for your disappointment because you rooted for them being together. You considered Clay and Hannah as a perfect couple.

“He’s shy.” Hannah shortly answered.

“But it’s not an excuse! I would slap that dork silly, seriously.” You unleashed a long and deep sigh because Hannah seemed disappointed too and her being dismayed was one of the things you wouldn’t want to see. “I’ll talk to him, because I know that he likes you too, a lot!”

“Geez, really?” Hannah smiled widely and you nodded happily as her happiness came back once again.

“You can count on that!” You winked at her and she bit her lower lip. You stared at each other and you both let out some soft giggles for no reason, but it was interrupted as you heard some noise coming from the living room.

There was a discussion happening between Hannah’s parents and you could tell that she felt embarrassed for it. She hated it when they fought and having a friend hearing their complaints wasn’t one of the things that she wanted to happen.

“Are you okay, Hannah?” You worriedly asked and she just shook it off, obviously avoiding herself to ask you some help.

“(Y/N), do you mind if we cancel this sleepover?” She fidgeted with her warm blankets as she was nervous for your possible reaction.

“Oh no, it’s fine for me if you don’t feel comfortable. I mean, I would stay to cheer you up, but I will give you space if you want.” You sympathetically said as you understood her situation.

“I am fine, really.” She assured you. “I will call you if I ever need some help. Thank you.”

“Don’t bother to call me, okay?” You reminded her once again as you got up from her bed. You gathered your things and you put them in your backpack.

“Noted.” She smiled widely at you, not minding her parents anymore. She got up too and you both went outside her room as she led you to the house’s front door. Her parents stopped throwing shit at each other as they saw you going away and you could say that they felt guilty because of it.

“Good night, Hannah.” You sweetly greeted. “Call me or text me, okay? I am always here.”

“I know and I thank you for that.” She hugged you and you responded to it by hugging her back. “Good night.” She then let you go.

“Good night, see you tomorrow.” You said as you unlocked your bike’s chains. You then rode it as you said goodbye to Hannah once again. She watched you as you started to pedal way back home.

During your journey, you thought of Hannah’s family situation and you knew that it wasn’t your business but you wanted to help her. You wanted to help her, because you didn’t want for it to be one of the reasons she would feel sad or disappointed. Her life was already hard and you didn’t want for her to carry another problem on her back.

Once you arrived home, you silently went to your room, not wanting to wake anybody up. You plopped your things on your desk and you let yourself fall on the bed carelessly.

“What the fuck, Clay?!” You heard a deep voice complaining and you were shocked, mostly scared, for a moment. You were afraid to move, but you quickly searched for the lamp that rested on your bedside table and you turned the lights on. “Oh, it’s you (Y/N)!”

“What the hell are you doing in my room, Jeff?” You corrugated your forehead as you wondered why. You liked Jeff, but you knew that you had the right to be furious after what happened.

“Clay said that you were staying at Hannah’s!” Jeff sat up as he covered his shirtless body. “Boys can have sleepover too, duh!”

“Jeez!” You laughed even though you were annoyed. “I am sleeping on the couch downstairs then.”

“No, I am sleeping there. This is your bed and it’s not okay to let a woman sleep uncomfortably.” He ranted as he searched for his shirt and wore it soon after.

“It’s okay, Jeff. Stay here.” You flashed him a smile and you got up from your bed, ready to go out of the room.

“No!” Jeff protested. “We can share! It’s a double bed and I can sleep on one side and you on the other.”

“Hmm?” You raised an eyebrow as you considered his proposal.

“Only if it’s okay with you. If not, I am sleeping on the couch.” He smiled as he scratched his nape.

“Alright, I’ll share my bed with you.” You went back on the bed and you sat on your space. “Only because I don’t want for you to be uncomfortable, okay?”

“Alright, (Y/N).” You could bet that you saw him smirking before you turned the lights off.

“No malice, Jeff!” You slapped his muscular arm and he just let out a laugh. Oh, how much you loved that laughter. “Thank my parents because they taught us that sharing is caring.”

“I’m thanking Lainie and Matt tomorrow, don’t worry.” He jokingly answered and you just giggled because of it. “Good night, (Y/N).”

“Good night, Jeff.” You smiled while you had your eyes closed. You couldn’t believe it, so you had a hard time drifting in your sleep, same for Jeff.

You were happy that you had a chance to share the bed with your ultimate crush and both knew that you would wake up hugging each other, but who cares? You both liked each other, you just had no guts to admit it and this is a great coincidence to show the affection to each other.


anonymous asked:

IDK if you saw the post about how, before the Death Star plans were captured, the asset Bail was sending was *Leia herself* to Obi-Wan. But I'd like an AU based on that. No Death Star Plans, only a 19-year-old-girl strong in the Force, trying to beat the Empire.

She didn’t—

Luke cocked his head, watching the girl in white move through the marketplace. He couldn’t figure out what it was about her, why one minute he had been engrossed in Waing’s new shipment of power converters and the next he was staring at her, totally unable to tear his eyes away. He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d gone from one to the other, except he had, and now he was watching her. It was important he watch her, he knew it was important, though he couldn’t figure out how he knew that, or why.

It wasn’t that she stood out—sure, no one wore robes of that clean white, not unless they had a lot of slaves or droids to do the laundry for them, and yeah, she was the sort of pale you generally only saw in traders, who spent more time in artificial grav than sunslight. But she could be a water merchant’s daughter slumming it in Toshe, or an off-worlder, taking in the sights. (Not that they had many sights to see in Toshe, Luke thought with a snort.) And nobody else seemed to notice her; she stopped at Kinqua’s stall and dipped her fingers into the bowl Kinqua left out for tasting, and lifted it to her lips, licked the droplets away.

Luke had seen Kinqua casually lop off a child’s hand for that.

Skywalker,” Waing said, startling Luke out of his thoughts. “You made a decision? Or are you just going to keep feeling up my tech until it agrees to go home with you?”

“Cool your drives, Waing,” Luke said mildly, but he was still staring at the girl in white. She had two droids trundling after her, he realized belatedly—an astromech and a protocol droid, though he couldn’t make out what they were saying at this distance. Their lights were flashing, though, and he wished he could read visual binary.

“Oh, I see,” Waing said after a minute, and Luke could hear them smirking. “My tech isn’t all you’re hoping to take back to the Whitesun-Lars homestead.”

Luke felt his face go hot, and he forced himself to look back at Waing. They were smirking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said coolly, but he couldn’t focus on the power converters anymore. The girl in white, had she—

“Pardon me.”

This close it was abundantly obvious that she wasn’t from Tatooine—no one from this planet carried that air of interestingness with them, like they had a secret that might change the whole course of your life. She must be an off-worlder. “I’m looking for Obi-Wan Kenobi. Do you know where I might find him? I was told he lives near here—”

“Old Ben?” Luke cut in, before Waing could answer. “Do you mean Old Ben?”

The girl in white looked at him for a long moment, and Luke felt the back of his neck heating up. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “Is he near here?”

“Oh, sure,” Luke laughed, more out of relief than anything else. “Old Ben’s just a few klicks from here, he lives near the western gorge—I could take you, if you want,” Luke said quickly, because she looked increasingly put-out, and he felt something in his chest twinge in answer to it.

But she shook her head. “Thank you for the offer, but this is a personal matter.”

“It’ll cost you serious credits if you charter a speeder,” Luke said. “I’m headed that way anyway, let me take you. And your droids. Really,” he said, because she still looked uncertain. “It’s no trouble.”

She looked at him for a long moment, and her dark eyes were very serious. (He liked her eyes, for no particular reason he could figure out.) “My name is Leia,” she finally said, sticking her hand out. 

“Luke,” Luke laughed, taking it and shaking it. It was cool and smooth, and if he’d needed any confirmation she was from off-world, that was it. “Skywalker. My uncle owns a moisture farm in the eastern hemisphere.”

“I’m—not from around here,” she said, and Luke almost laughed because—well, obviously.

“Consider yourself lucky,” Luke said, and something of her tiredness and tightness (why did he know she was tired, down to her bones?) eased. She smiled back, a small smile. Luke counted it as a victory.

“I am C-3PO,” the protocol droid cut in, sticking his head between them as though it would stop them from looking at one another. He was burnished gold, and in the high sunslight it hurt to look at him. “And this is my companion, R2-D2.”

The astromech whistled a greeting, and Luke laughed. “Pleasure to meet—all of you. My speeder’s docked by the Ithorian, if you want…?”

“Hey, Skywalker, aren’t you going to buy anything?” Waing interrupted, and Luke winced, barely managing to tear his eyes away from Leia, who was still smiling, very slightly.

“Sorry, uh—maybe next week?” Luke offered lamely, but he was already ushering Leia and her droids away, and he could hear her laugh, very softly. (His chest fell too full, hearing it.)

It felt strange, formal and right, to help her into the speeder. Her hand in his was a kind of symmetry, inexplicable, the way he knew how a speeder was supposed to fit together, how a full tank of moisture sounded when you rapped it with a knuckle. Organic and totally without reason, their hands fitting together. She still hadn’t told him her surname, if she had a surname. Where she was from. What she was doing here. What her droids were doing here.

Luke couldn’t help but trust her utterly. Otherwise, why did her hand feel like that, resting in his?

What do you need to see Old Ben for?” Luke shouted over the rush of air around the speeder.

I told you,” Leia shouted back. The white hood she wore had fallen back, and her hair was dark. Even carefully styled, those loops over her ears, strands came loose, whipping around her face. “It’s personal!”

They stopped at the farm first, just to refuel and drop off the handful of things Luke did buy—rations, holonews downloads, some sucrose-candies for Aunt Beru. But when they touched down, Owen went white beneath his sunsburn, staring at Leia like she was a creature from another galaxy. “Your Highness,” he breathed, and Luke had to correct him, just an off-worlder looking for Old Ben; don’t pay her any mind. Look, Uncle Owen, I brought you your Almanac—

Leia was silent; picking at a loose thread in her white, white robes.

(Afterwards, she was silent, her arms crossed over her waist. They sped across the desert, which was gathering dark by the armful. “Sorry,” Luke said, trying to keep himself from shivering, “I know it gets cold at night.”

“It’s all right,” Leia said. “On—my planet, it snowed. We had mountains, and we would build whole castles out if it, out of snow. It was beautiful.”

“I’d like to see snow,” Luke said, but he thought it was lost in the sound of the speeder, because she didn’t reply.)

By the time they reached Old Ben’s place, it was dark enough for a lamp to be burning, the light spilling beneath the door and out the window. Luke watched as Leia knocked on the daub doorframe, shivering.

Still, it was worth staying just to watch the flicker of Old Ben’s expression from surprise to shock when he greeted her. He called her by a name that was definitely not ‘leia’ and Luke watched her shoulders hitch. “No,” Leia said finally. “I am Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan. I am the daughter of Queen Breha Organa and Viceroy Bail Organa, and I am—I am here to beg your aid for the rebellion.”

Luke wasn’t so surprised that he didn’t notice Ben’s eyes cut to him, and then away.

“Princess,” Ben said finally, with an awful heaviness. Luke had brought him ration packs and listened to his stories he had never sounded like that before, like it was something awful and deep beyond saying. “If they sent you to find me, they must be very desperate.”

“No,” she said quickly, and Luke knew she was lying. “No, but—we need Jedi. We cannot go forward, we cannot fight, if the Force is not with us.”

This time, Old Ben’s stare lingered on Leia, then on Luke. He seemed to be making up his mind about something, though Luke couldn’t say what. Old Ben had always struck him as a sort of harmless religious sort; in another world he might have been a Jedi like in the stories, but instead he was a desert madman, talking to the air and clutching at a bit of carbon tubing like it was a lightsaber.

There was nothing harmless about the way he was looking at them now.

“I’ve been happy here,” Old Ben muttered, quietly, like an apology.

“Fine,” Leia said, almost a snarl. Luke could only see her in silhouette, against the light from Old Ben’s hut. He thought suddenly of a predator, something that could leap on the unsuspecting. “But no one ever promised us happiness.”

Luke could see Old Ben’s throat work. “Come in,” he said at last. His gaze darted to Luke, and Luke caught his breath. “What I have to say is—for both of you, now.”

Luke shut off the speeder.

(He had followed Leia into Old Ben’s hut, and didn’t come out the same man. No, not the same man at all.)

The Ultimate Guide to POT Dates

POT
noun, (pronounced: pē-oh-tē)
A potential Sugar Daddy. This is a man you have not met yet, but are considering starting an arrangement with, or have been on a date with, but haven’t established anything solid yet. In short, a man who you think could potentially be your sugar daddy, but aren’t quite sure yet.

So you’ve checked out his profile, messaged with him a little, decided he could be the one for you; the main question asked now is - what do I do next?

The answer is simple, but for the Sugar Babies who are new, it’s often terrifying. Using the experience I’ve gotten after being a Sugar Baby for a while, I’ve put together a complete guide on how to handle that very first date, so that maybe it goes a little smoother than mine did! xo

Before You Meet

  • Get a feel for him over messaging/text - There’s nothing worse than being stuck for an hour or two with a man who has an attitude, is full of himself, or is just salty, that’s why it’s important to work out what type of person he is. 
                    ‣ Identifying Factors:
                            - He has a sleezy username on SA: if his username is ‘CunnilingusMaster69′ or something along those lines, it’s blatantly obvious what’s he looking for.
                            - His responses don’t mirror yours: think about conversational mirroring and use it to help you gauge the success of your conversation. It’s a form of social psychology that is pretty important to how anyone is perceived. If you’re typing out paragraph after paragraph and he is replying with short responses (or vice versa), it’s obvious one party is more interested than the other.
                            - He asks for sexual photos: if he’s asking for sexual photos without even met with you for the first time, then he’s got one thing on his mind and it’s probably pay per play. However, most Sugar Daddy’s will ask for extra photo’s, to make sure you’re not catfishing them, so be ready for that request and have extra photo’s you can send that aren’t on your profile (I usually send one cute selfie and a second full body pic in a nice outfit.) Please note: Snapchat ‘puppy’ filter selfies are not appropriate to send as an additional selfie, maybe once you’ve met him a few times, but not prior to a first meet. You’re already younger than him, there is no need to make yourself seem even younger.
                            - He asks you questions of a sexual nature (ie: your favorite position, sexual history, what you’re into, kinkiest desires, etc): there is absolutely no need for tacky sexual questions, especially if you two haven’t met before. It is important to understand that yes, sugaring is based on sex, sugaring is sex work, but it’s not only sex. Sugaring is about companionship, chemistry, new experiences, and then sex. If he requires a detailed list of what you will or will not do sexually just to meet you for the first time, then he is obviously not looking for a sugar arrangement, he’s just looking for pay per play (which is fine if pay per play is what you’re looking for, each sugar baby is entitled to her own wants and desires out of an arrangement).
                   ‣ Tip:
                           - Whenever an SD asks me “what i am willing to do”, i always reply with this. It’s elegant, polite, and successfully moves the conversation to other topics.
  • Get as many details about him as you can - Meeting someone off the internet is always a little unnerving, especially when it’s a man twice or three times your age. To feel safer, ask for as many details from him as you can, then reverse search the information you have (ie: his phone number, email, name, etc.) to find out his address, income, family members, and other information of the sort. The same goes with photo’s, reverse search them to find out company info, criminal history, and if he’s on any other sites (this helps cross-check age, location, and other facts he has listed on his profile).
  • Choose an identity and stick to it - Think about the type of person you want to convey (ie: the struggling but motivated university student, the driven twenty-something, the educated single mother, the urban socialite, etc) and build yourself up around that image. If you don’t feel comfortable using your real name with POT’s, use a fake name. Invent fake facts and stories or recall certain facts and stories from your life that correspond to the type of person you want to be. Remember, the more you have, the better. Most POT’s will ask you to some extent, some more than others, about you (ie: your job, your likes/dislikes, your upbringing, your dreams/aspirations, your background, your parents/their occupation, etc) and you will need to be prepared to answer. On the other hand, be prepped with questions to ask him, this date is about getting to know each other, it’s a waste of time if you leave knowing nothing about him.
                  ‣ Tip:
                           - If you’re struggling with coming up with questions, check out this and this, there’s a large variety of questions that you could use.
  • Make sure he understands that absolutely nothing sexual will happen on this date - There should be no sex on a first date, absolutely nothing sexual. If your POT believes that coffee/lunch/dinner/drinks and a hundred dollars should equal sex in the hotel down the block, then you leave him right there and then. We are ladies looking for gentlemen with the means to provide for us and support us. If he’s only interested in sex in exchange for money, then he’s looking for an escort, not a sugar baby. (Note: if sex in exchange for money is what you’re looking for, then go right ahead and make that cash, every girl is allowed to make her own choices!)
  • Agree to meet in a PUBLIC place - Always meet for the first time in a public place (A restaurant, coffee shop, bar, hotel lounge/lobby, etc) because your safety and comfort comes first! If he invites you up to his hotel room for a drink, decline by saying that is something you would love to do sometime, but would feel better meeting in a public space first. If you starts arguing or does not agree to this, drop him. You don’t need to waste your time on an asshole like him. 
                 ‣ Additionally: 
                          - Have your own transportation to and from your meet! Do not get into his car thinking you’ll save a little cash, even if he was kind and definitely legitimate! Personally: I don’t let POT’s get me an Uber home either, I don’t feel comfortable with them knowing my exact address.
  • Ask for a gift - While this isn’t something that is necessary to do, it’s something that I do. If you’re aiming for a gift, make sure to ask after you have made plans to meet or at least a day before you meet, this gives the POT time to either go shopping for you or go to an ATM for some cash. If you’re aiming for travel compensation, then feel free to ask a few hours before or even during the date, travel compensation is something usually all POT’s will agree to. This or this are the ways I use to ask, either one usually work flawlessly.
                 ‣  Keep in mind
                         - It is not a red flag if he declines to bring you a gift! At this point in your relationship, he owes you just as much as you owe him, which is nothing. If he declines, just say that’s it’s okay and then (if you still want a little cash) try the travel compensation method.
  • Text to confirm - One of the worst things is dolling yourself up and then coming out to meet, only to find that your POT actually couldn’t make it. That’s why it’s important to confirm your meeting a few hours before in a quick little text.
  • Stay SAFE - Safety has always and will always be the number one thing in the sugar bowl which is why you need to make sure you have at least one person who know’s who you’re meeting, where, and when. If you don’t feel comfortable telling anyone you know in real life, message me and I will gladly be your safety contact. In addition to having a safety contact, it is always a good idea to carry around a bottle of mace with you, for creepy POT’s and creepy men in general.

During Your Meet

  • Make an entrance - Often,the first part of the conversation happens before you open your mouth, sometimes it happens before you’ve even laid eyes on them. When you enter any room, have your head up and your shoulders down. Don’t strut, but walk gracefully, swaying your hips gently, you can even look up videos of models on catwalks and learn how to walk like they do. Be dramatic, walk like you’re the center of attention - you’re a sugar baby: you’re young, stunning, and seductive. Pause in the entrance and survey the room slowly, let your eyes to travel from one side of the room to the other, until you locate your POT. It may sound a little silly, but a proper entrance will captivate anyone, especially your POT. Knowing how to walk properly and make an entrance is useful in practically every aspect of your life, not just in sugaring. 
  • Keep the focus on them - I’ve noticed that POT’s (and SD’s in general really) love to talk about themselves, some SB’s will even go as far as to say that these men don’t care about the things you say unless it directly relates to them (in my experience this isn’t always true, it depends on the man). Try to find a way to refocus the conversation about him, you will easily become his favorite person to speak to.
                ‣ Additionally:
                         - If he shows pride, you give praise. If he says something, then pauses, and looks at you significantly, he’s waiting for the applause. Be there to give it to him. You don’t even have to think what he did was impressive. You just have to be there ready to dispense a pat on the back  Do not be over dramatic, smile, look impressed, and stroke his ego.
  • Pay attention when he speaks - Be engaged in the conversation: ask questions to further your understanding of the topic, make comments to indicate that you are paying attention, laugh a little to signal that you are having fun, smile to show that you enjoy being in his company, and make eye contact! If you look a person in the eye, it signals that you not only hear what they’re saying but are interested in it. If you have to look away do it slowly, this reinforces your interest and enjoyment of what you’re hearing.
  • Don’t fidget - It ruins your credibility. Often, stillness is compared with integrity. Those that can look someone in the eye and sit still are usually believed over those that try to say something while squirming in their seat. It’s important to have good posture as well, don’t slump in your seat and if you do, catch yourself and correct your posture. 
               ‣  Don’t worry:
                        - Your hair looks fine, your clothing fits you well, and your phone will not explode if you don’t check it for an hour. Your main focus should be your POT, not the little things about your appearance.
  • Relax - You might be a little nervous over the first date, but chances are, he probably is too! Some SD’s are nervous the first time meeting, this might be due to the fact that you’re much younger than he is or he might be downright intimidated because of your looks. Your job is to make him feel at ease and the easiest way to help him feel at ease is to be at ease yourself. People play off each other’s energies and your body language speaks volumes, so try your best to just relax.
  • End on a good note - End the date with a hug or a handshake (or a kiss on the cheek, if you like him), something physical so that you touch and it leaves him wanting a little more. If you went out for lunch/dinner, tell him how thankful you are for taking you out, how much you loved the food, and how he has great taste in restaurants

After Your Meet

  • Assessing him - A person’s appearance and demeanor speaks volumes about them. Observe not his wallet, his cufflinks, or his shoes, but his mannerisms, his eloquence, and his overall conduct. Many good sugar daddies may not look the part, but they will act it. There’s no forcing chemistry, so it’s best to figure that out right away before delving deeper.
                  ‣ Questions to think about:
                         
    - Does he ask you first what you want to eat?
                         - Is he interested in what you’re saying?
                         - How does he talk about his family, his employees?
                         - Is he nice to the waitstaff?
                         - How much is he tipping?
                         - Were your personalities compatible?
                         - Did you have a lot in common?
                         - Was it easy to hold a conversation with him, or were there awkward silences?
                         - Is this someone you’d be comfortable being seen in public with, going on vacations with, and generally spending time with?
  • Send a follow up text - If the date went well, shortly after you meet (a few hours or a day, at most), send the POT/SD a text saying that it was a pleasure meeting him and you’d love to see him again. When (or if) he responds, you might be able to schedule your next date!
  • Think about your loses - If the date didn’t go so well, you got a free coffee/lunch/dinner/gift. If your POT contacts you and asks you out again, decline politely and wish him luck finding what he’s looking for.

Allowance Talk - Yes Or No?

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether or not you should speak about allowance with your POT on a first date. I’ve had POT’s bring up numbers over text/on the phone/email (prior to meeting and after meeting) and during coffee/lunch/dinner/drinks. In my opinion, let him bring up the allowance talk.

  • If he does, express your desires concerning allowances, gifts, and how the arrangement will work. Most arrangements end due to schedule conflicts and misunderstanding expectations, be clear about what you want. 
  • If he doesn’t, that’s completely fine too. You’ll most likely speak about it on your second date or over some electronic format.
  • If you touch on the subject but you notice he’s not too keen on delving into it at the moment, leave it alone. This sends your POT the message that you’re more interested in a suitable arrangement than the money, as well as that you are nowhere near desperate and while you are interested in him, not overly so. This lack of overt interest gives you more control of the relationship from the get-go. It also shows that he cannot control you or gain your interest with his money alone. This makes it easier for you to discuss the terms of the relationship, set boundaries, and negotiate your allowance later on.

What to Wear

Men are visual creatures, they love eye-catching arm candy, but most prefer elegance or casual classy to outright flashy. However, showing all your goods on the first meeting is not a good idea. Choose one thing to show off, this leaves his imagining and wanting more. Keep in mind where you’re meeting, as well. There’s no need to go all out if you’re just meeting for coffee.

  • If you’re meeting for coffee - Jeans and a pretty blouse will be just fine, top it off with flats or boots and you’ll be good to go. If it’s warmer out, a sundress is perfectly acceptable too.
                ‣  Keep in mind
                        - Meeting a POT for the first time in shorts is not appropriate, there is no need to play up the age difference between the two of you, even if it is hot outside.
  • If you’re meeting for lunch/dinner/drinks - A formfitting dress will do you good, especially if it’s dinner or drinks. Complete the look with a nice pair of heels and some jewelry, if you’re having trouble figuring out which jewelry to wear with what, check out this!
  • Makeup - Keep the makeup light and natural, opt for neutral colors rather than darker ones. Get your nails done, fill in your brows, foundation, mascara, light colored eye shadow, and lipstick/lip-gloss is all you’ll need. I prefer to top up my look with a slightly red nude lip (since my lips are full and the color makes them pop more), even though most SB’s suggest to stay away from all red’s.

So there you have it dolls, an ultimate guide to POT dates. Feel free to add on your own tips! Keep sugaring, dolly xoxo

Give Me Polyamorous Power Couple Hamliza Or Give Me Death

~Eliza growing up having constant crushes on both men and women and trying to articulate what she wanted to Angelica but never being able to explain it the way she wanted

~When she’s in a relationship: “I want her” “But you’re dating Peter” “I want him too” “But you have to choose” “Why do I have to choose?” When she’s not in a relationship: “Ooh, Liza’s got a crush! Spill it!” “Well, there’s Arthur and his girlfriend, and Sally and her girlfriend, and Jason, and Mary…” “Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, how many crushes can you have?” “Shush, I’m not done”

~When she meets Alexander and quickly falls into her most serious relationship ever she expects the multiple crush thing to stop (Spoiler alert: it doesn’t)

~Eliza feels like a horrible girlfriend because she’s so happy with Alex but then Susan from work will start up a conversation with her in the break room and she’s instantly all heart eyes

~Tearfully she admits it to Alex one night and he’s thrilled because “no there’s nothing wrong with you I promise!!!! You’re just polyamorous!!!!”

~They spend the rest of the night talking about it

~Eliza needs some time to adjust since she’s spent so much time trying to push it aside that she doesn’t really know what else to do but Alex is very helpful

~The first time she tells him about Susan he’s instantly chanting ask her out over and over until she’s laughing and blushing at his antics

~Half a year later and Eliza is subtly sending Alex updates from her dates while he sends her multiple thumbs up emojis and does the same with his own

~She also sets up him and Angelica and when Angelica gets confused about it she’s like you need to stop sacrificing yourself, let yourself be happy

~They share embarrassing stories about him with each other

~He meets John and them after Eliza in this one and it’s all separately

~Hercules comes first because Eliza’s father invited them to a fancy dinner party and Alex needs a suit and since he’s not well educated on these things yet she comes along to help

~Hercules is instantly smitten with Alex and Alex is instantly 😍 because “Eliza look at him!!! He looks like a damn quarterback but he’s so sweet and gentle!!!!” “Either you ask him out or I will”

~Hercules not-so-subtly likes guiding Alex around even though he thinks he’s being smooth

~“Alex there was really no point for him to put his hands on your waist like that, he could’ve told you to just move to the side one step” “… Yeah but did you see how well they fit there he could probably lift me up so easily” “Wow you’re so easy” “Do I need to bring up that cute barista the other day” “pLEASE DO WE HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND”

~By the end of the time there Alex is going out to lunch with a pleased but confused Hercules and Eliza is eagerly awaiting every cute picture and text

~From then on he has to deal with both Eliza and Alex stealing his clothes but he can’t really fight since they both look so cute in his sweaters

~The rest come really quickly after that

~Lafayette meets Hercules before the others because they come in requesting a special dress to be made and Hercules is Gone

~“You… You want a dress with a full skirt… But when you pick at a stitch on it the dress falls down into a ball gown?” “Yes, exactly!” “Can I ask why?” “Why? Well, chéri, it’s because I must ensure that I always am prepared for any eventuality and at the top of that list is a need to always look beautiful but entirely unattainable. Oh, that reminds me! It needs to be floor length with my being in eight-inch heels, I have a pair with me so you can measure accurately” “Oh holy shit”

~It takes them exactly one weekend to be brought into the relationship (Alex sees them and instantly is stunned into silence, Eliza flirts and within two minutes they’re already co-conspirators)

~John is next and he struggles with his sexuality and anything that comes from it so he’s very much in the closet when they meet

~John and Alex immediately are best friends and Alex tries asking him out but John very quickly refuses him and Alex takes a step back

~The combined power of the four of them helps to bring John out of his shell even though he’s very shy about it all so they’re respectful and let him suggest everything and move their relationship forward in his own time

~The first time he asks to spend the night with all of them there’s a little fight over who gets to sleep next to him

~Eliza and Hercules win, Lafayette and Alex pout

~Aaron and Theodosia Burr AKA Theo, Eliza, and Lafayette kill and the rest of them are literally powerless against them

~Dates are really fun with them because now there’s enough people to go on group dates and everyone can have a supposed other instead of it being just the mess of them (They still do it as the whole of them, its just more fun to have the people think they’re all separate couples then watch as they get more affectionate as the night goes on)

~Don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Washingtons

~George favors Alex and Laf, Martha favors Eliza, Angelica, and Theo, George is platonic with John, Hercules, Aaron, and the girls, Martha is platonic with everyone but her girls and sometimes Alex and Lafayette (She likes showing off that she’s perfectly capable of stealing them away from him but is graciously letting them stay with him. George jokes back and tries to rally Laf and Alex to joke too but they need time to come back to that plane of existence)

~WEEKEND TRIPS AT MOUNT VERNON WITH EVERYONE

~Eliza and Alex get so many kisses and cuddles since they’re the heart of it all

~Alex dragging everyone outside to look at the stars

~Lots of hot chocolate when Alex drags them outside

~Lots of spiked hot chocolate when they think Martha isn’t looking

~She totally knows since John keeps giggling but she let’s them have fun

~THOMAS JEFFERSON

~Eliza starts flirting with him to bug Alex

~Eventually she starts flirting with him for Alex no matter what he says

~“Look at the tension good god” “Betsey I swear…”

~Eliza has a near constant stream of frustrated texts from George

~“Eliza I’m suffering” “What is it this time, dear?” “They’re arguing again and they look two seconds away from making out” “I’m working on it. Have patience” “I can’t have patience anymore I can’t have meetings because this happens in every one”

~All the hate sex

~All the Jeffmads+Alex hate sex (I would include Aaron but the frustrations are over Washington but Aaron knows why Alex is favored by him and has worked out his own balance with George so he’s not jealous)

~Alex pulls them into the dynamic and they finally understand

~George doesn’t mind them finding out, he’s just glad the tension is gone (Though he has cut more than a few work days short because he walked in on them fucking on his desk because Alex wanted to tease him and he can’t handle that so he just walks out)

~There’s multiple incidents where they try to tease Angelica but she is Not Having It and takes great joy in showing them why

~Angelica Schuyler is my queen she wouldn’t handle any bullshit from them

~MARIA REYNOLDS PROTECTION SQUAD

~Elizabeth “If you touch one hair on my girl’s head I will personally kick your ass from here to California don’t test me” Schuyler

~Obviously she moves in with them immediately and spends every night sleeping between Alex and Eliza

~When things become too much in the city Eliza and her take a trip down to Mount Vernon for a girls-only retreat

~Maria and John never start a romantic relationship but they hit it off very quickly since they’re both abuse survivors (Her with James, him with his father) and John is more healed than she is but there’s wounds he’s still licking and sometimes its nice to just spend the day in silence with someone who understands that company is more important than conversation

~Eliza and Alex creating a crazy huge family for themselves which has confusing interconnecting romantic and platonic relationships but they love it so much they can’t describe it

~Whenever anyone asks about it Alex shows them the graph he’s made for them all

~Everyone has a specific color and one poor soul asks why he chose those colors and spends the next 45 minutes listening to him talking about why each of his signifs was given that very color choice

A cage of golden glass

Synopsis: There was you. An ordinary human girl, wrong place, wrong time. Then there was Loki. God of Mischief, war criminal. When Thor brings you to Asgard to ensure your safety, there is nobody else you come to hate more passionately than his evil foster brother. Then Odin finally decides on a new and much more effective kind of punishment for Loki, causing your whole world to fall apart. He would simply marry him off to a mortal, someone who is, by all means, “beneath” him. You.

Pairing: Loki x Reader
Rating: M
Chapter: 1/1 (Oneshot)
Words: 7217
Warnings: smut, forced marriage

Read it on AO3!

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MC as a Barista

I thought of this while in star bucks one day. What if MC worked at a coffee shop part time before meeting the RFA and continued to work there after joining and one of the members walked in and ordered a drink without realizing it was MC. So she obviously recognized  them from chat so she wrote a little message on their cups, only for them to realize it after they left. ? 

I apologize if this is kind OOC? Feed back is appreciated!

Yoosung

  • Stands there for awhile before heading to the counter
  • MC smiles brightly at him as she recognized him.
  • Orders a Venti Hot chocolate
  • MC nods and says “Coming right up, can I get your name for the order?”
  • a small giggle escaped her as she nodded and walked away with his cup before writing down a special note for him.
  • “ It was nice to see you in person, Superman Yoosung! ^3^. Since I made you this drink…you got to return the favor remember? - MC ❤ ”
  • He thinks she’s cute but he can’t fall for the barista right? He’s already talking to MC via messenger!
  • They exchange thank you’s and he walks out.
  • Notices the little note on the side of his cup as he got to the bus stop to head to the University.
  • NON STOP SMILES FOR THE REST OF THE DAY
  • sends a text message to MC
  • “MC!!! Why didn’t you tell me you worked there?!! I can’t bring myself to throw this cup away now! It’s just a reminder that we are really under the same sky!

Zen

  • Walks in, obviously thinks the barista is cute
  • MC smiles as friendly as she could. She didn’t want to make it obvious.
  • His ego get’s the best of him
  • “I bet you’re a fan, You want a autograph? How about a Selca with me?”
  • She nods and takes out her phone real quickly. Takes the photo
  • he’s now grinning. she’s so cute ~
  • Orders a grande Tea.
  • MC nods as she turned to start his order.
  • Writes
  • “You were right, you are more handsome in person. Also I managed to get your fan club to come to the party ~ Hopefully I can get my hands on you too, Zenny ~ MC  ❤ “
  • After they exchange thank you’s he flashed her a playful smirk and winked.
  • Quickly she logged onto the messenger to leave the selca they took together with the caption
  • “…I ran into my favorite actor today hehe ~ !
  • [ photo attachment of her and Zen together ]
  • As Zen left he took a drink only to see the note in the corner of his eye
  • turning the cup. He read it
  • CUE HIM SPITTING OUT HIS HOT DRINK
  • debates to turn back or not
  • hears his messenger go off
  • reads what MC says and laughs as he seen her sign off real fast.
  • decides to send a text message to her
  • “You know I will be coming over here every day now to see my princess ~

Jaehee

  • She decided to go to a different cafe today
  • walks into MC’s work place.
  • Looks at the beverage board for a few minutes
  • MC standing there with a huge grin on her face
  • tries so hard to not say her name out loud.
  • as Jaehee walks up to the counter she orders
  • 1 for her boss. A espresso with 2 shots for him
  • 1 for her. A Venti coffee for her. ( 3 creams 4 sugars )
  • MC Nodded as she asked which cup is her drink.
  • Quickly writes a small note on her cup
  • “You can do this Jaehee! Remember I am here for you if you ever need support ~ Cheer up! - MC  ❤  “
  • and writes another note on Jumin’s cup
  • “…you better be nice to Jaehee today, She’s human too. - MC”
  • As she put the cup in the cup holders she smiled towards Jaehee
  • “…I hope you have a nice day, Miss. Jaehee ~”
  • That’s when Jaehee smiled and nodded, walking out she went back to the car. Passing one cup to Jumin.
  • a small pause
  • “Assistant Kang?”
  • Oh no… he doesn’t like it does he??
  • “…MC wrote some strange note on my cup”
  • looks at it. Gasps lightly as she noticed there was writing on her cup as well.
  • Smiles brightly as they drove past the cafe
  • NOW SHE CAN’T STOP SMILING
  • ALL DAY ALL SMILES. HAPPY BAEHEE
  • and a confused Jumin

Jumin

  • RARELY goes to a cafe on his own.
  • ASSISTANT KANG HELP
  • walks in on his own, instantly regrets it.
  • how does one order a drink? do they walk up?
  • do they come to him?
  • MC can’t help but suppress the giggling and smiling she’s doing
  • C & R Director is in her coffee shop looking so lost.
  • Decides to walk up to him with a pen and paper in hand
  • “…Excuse me J—Sir?”
  • a commoner walking up to him? so he was right they walk up to you
  • “…you seem out of place. You need help?”
  • a flash smile touched his lips before walking up to the counter with her
  • Asks which drink is the best.
  • “…you seem like the type of man who’d enjoy a regular type of drink. I can make you a grande french vanilla?”
  • nods as he paid and left a reasonable tip
  • LET’S JUST SAY HE LIKED THE HELP
  • AND MAYBE HER FACE
  • AND THAT NO-ONE TOOK TIME TO HELP
  • he’s waiting for his cup on the other side so she took liberty to write a small note
  • “…I cannot help but think you’re so cute while all flustered. Please say hello to Elizabeth 3rd for me. I hope you have a good day at work. - MC ❤ “
  • After she was done she passed it over to him
  • “Have a nice day, Mr. Jumin, sir ~ “
  • turns around and nods before walking to his car.
  • As he got in he noticed the small note on the side
  • reading it he couldn’t help but chuckle
  • “…Driver Kim. I want to come to this exact place every day at the same time.”

Luciel / 707 / defender of justice ….[Saeyoung]

  • Already knew she worked there. But since he was rare to post selca’s in chat
  • he decided to have fun with this.
  • Walks in and decides to grab a smoothie for the day.
  • RIGHT SOMETHING HEALTHY FOR ONCE
  • What Saeyoung forgot is that he recently posted a photo of himself in chat
  • MC knew who he was. Seven knew who she was
  • LET THE GAMES BEGIN
  • “…what’s your healthiest smoothie?”
  • “…I’d have to say the orange mango smoothie. It hits the taste buds”
  • “…okay can I get a hot chocolate”
  • 707 that little shit
  • “can I get a name for this order?”
  • “Tom”
  • MC snorts as she nods, grabbing his cup she wrote a small note
  • “using your friend’s name huh? well it was nice to see you in person, God seven! now go save the earth!  ~ 606 ❤ “
  • they exchange thank you’s and good byes before he walked away
  • he looked down at his cup and couldn’t help but laugh.
  • “my 606 ~ “
Remorse.

or… harry regrets breaking y/n’s heart

category: angst

I miss you.

His mouth is dry as he stares down at his phone, thumb hovering over the arrow that’ll send the text he’s longing to mail. With another deep breath, he studies the message over again, then begins to question himself. Should I write more? She deserves an apology. Maybe the word crave instead of miss. Yearn for? He deletes the text but retypes it in the same moment.

He’s never felt guilt this deeply before, he’s never so desperately wanted to turn back time and change everything– rephrase all of his words differently. Do things differently. The thought of him not being able to go back and change things hits him like a ton of bricks, sending his short nails into the palm of his hand.

A clap on his shoulder wakes him from his thoughts, and he looks up with attentive eyes. “Ready to go?” Jeff laughs, tucking his heel into the back of his shoe. “Reservations don’t hold themselves.”

“No, yeah.” he rushes, tucking the locked phone into the back pocket of his jeans. “Let’s go.”

“It’s my fucking job, y’know that, we’ve been through this a million times before. Get over it, angel.”

She scoffs in disbelief, untying the silk scarf from around her neck. “Get over it? Get over it. Over my boyfriend of nearly a year not telling anyone about our relationship—?“

“The media would go insane I- fuck I told y’this—”

“I’m not asking you to tell the world, Harry! Maybe your mom, your sister? My family? I’ve been lying to them for way too long, keeping an enormous part of my life away from them how’s that supposed to make me feel? Do you know how distressing it is to be introduced as a friend to you? To not tell anyone, not even my best friend how much you mean to me?”

“Y’do know it’s like that for me as well? A relationship is consists of two people—”

“Not that I’d know.”

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Maid For A Day - Dave Hodgman

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Dave Hodgman/Reader

Word Count: 4345

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Oral (both receiving in a way), Master Kink

Notes: I blame Persona 5 for this idea. It was just a funny idea and I can see Dave’s friends trying to get him laid. This is kinda just pure silliness that leads to fucking a hot guy.

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One example of how an exchange with a spirit works for mutual benefit

As a spirit worker of some years of experience, this is how I would personally go through contacting a spirit in order to receive help from the spirit world.

PEN AND PAPER For a serious working I will take a piece of paper and write things down and organize them just as if I was planning them for a spell. What I want to happen, what I would not like to happen, and so on. Then I will also plan my offerings to the spirit. This does not always mean physical items like candles, incense, or bread. This can regularly mean offerings of service. For example some nature spirits may request you spend a certain number of hours doing litter removal or conservation work. Another type of spirit may request that you make a post about it, to increase its fame so it may work with more humans. An important part of this step is what you are not willing to give. 

If I am in a more informal setting or doing a less serious act of magic I will often do this phase of planning in my head.

PREPARATIONS Depending on the type of spirit being called there must be certain preparations in place. For a certain type of ritual (which you can find under my articles tag called “spirit worker’s spell”) I will call the quarters and see which spirit of the elements is best suited for the job. To prepare for that I would want my ritual tools to represent the quarters as well as a simple offering to thank the spirits for showing up. If it were a Goetic demon there would be very formal preparations, for example. Just be prepared for your guest.

In general: Work in nature or a clean space (clean space = respectful of your guest). Incense is nice because it is pleasing, especially if you can determine a scent your guest might like. In my path it is polite to have a simple offering of incense to thank a guest just for arriving. Then if you anticipate the spirit will require other physical offerings, have them close at hand. Also have things you regularly rely on such as your grimoire, tarot deck for communication, and so on.

Extra Safety: Work within magic circles. Cast one around yourself with the specific intent to keep out all negative energies and any spirit which wishes you harm or ill-intent. Then, summon the spirit in to a second protected circle, from which it may return home but otherwise cannot leave. (This is assuming the spirit is summoned, as opposed to walking up to it in nature and saying hello). Besides your magic circle have with you a strong amulet of protection (excellent practice if you don’t have one yet!!) and special banishing and “emergency” tools like banishing powders, flying devil oil, salt, and highly uplifting and banishing incenses such as frankincense, rosemary, and bay leaf.

If I am doing a very serious spell I will take a full purifying bath. In general I make sure to never go in to spirit communication with too much “gunk” on me and I often do small or large purifying rituals before spirit work. If your spirit contact made you feel uneasy in any way, consider a purifying and protective bath afterwords (try rosemary, bay leaf, and a heap of basil in salt water!).

CONTACT If I am seeking the help of a specific nature spirit I will go to that place and simply say hello and initiate conversation. Another way to work with nature spirits is having a piece of that natural thing, like some bark, a stone from a mountain, or a jar of water. Use this smaller element to contact the larger spirit! The way I perceive spirits is through the platform of my imagination. A being will appear in my mind’s eye, and I will speak to it through words, visions, and feelings. Other people will have different experiences. “Seeing spirits” is a Golden Standard ™ that distracts people from real communication. A big hint for me is that the energy changes around me when a “real” spirit is near. I really recommend just talking with plants and stones and trees to learn what spirit communication is for you. Don’t compare your experiences to that of others. Don’t you want your own beautiful and unique way speaking with spirits, true to you and your true nature?

If I am instead summoning a spirit I will go through the steps to do that. Usually I can feel the energy change around me before I perceive the spirit. Nature spirits can still be dangerous but especially if summoning ensure you have the proper protective steps such as those mentioned in italics above.

PLEASANTRIES I don’t go straight to business unless I am working with an entity who is known for not liking small talk. I don’t sit down and have a cup of coffee with a spirit and catch up about the kids, but I introduce myself with my magical name, say why I have asked them to come, and ask them if they are agreeable to continue. Sometimes spirits will have certain questions, such as, “why am I in this circle?” I will answer honestly (don’t lie!!!!) and say, “this circle is for my personal protection.” Often, spirits congratulate my forethought on safety. Another spirit may ask if they may first have a glass of water, which is alright by me. I do consider it a red flag if a spirit asks for a big offering right away, as this is not proper protocol. Just as we treat them with etiquette, they should treat us with etiquette.

At this time I also begin reading this spirit in a polite way (not trying to force my way in to their mind; like reading body language). I want to know if the spirit is uncomfortable or gives of bad vibes, or if they seem pleasant and helpful. To do this I pay special attention to my emotions and “back of the mind” thoughts that often slip by unnoticed.

In general once the spirit has finished asking questions, if they even have any, most seem willing to get right down to work. This is after all a business meeting.

THE CONTRACT I will state plainly what I wish to be done. There is no need to say why; I don’t think it’s the spirit’s business, and I don’t think most would care! “I need to ensure my credit card is paid off by June.” “I need my friend’s day at work to go smoothly and quickly.” “I need a teacher in meditation.” Whatever it is I have to say I am clear about it, using carefully thought out language so I am not confusing or vague in the slightest.

There’s a caveat I put in, somewhere, along the line. It sounds like this: “If you are able to accomplish this task for me, then…” You want to make sure you actually state that you expect RESULTS. Anyway, moving on.

Right away, without pause, I roll in to what I have to offer the spirit. If I am working with a certain spirit or type of spirit I have worked with before and I know what they usually like I will come out and say, “I have prepared for you the best wine and cakes” or whatever. Otherwise I will say, “I wish to know what I may pay you in return for this great service.”

This is the moment the spirit may reject this contract. If they have heard what you want and aren’t interested in helping, they’ll make it known to you and either leave immediately or wait for you to say goodbye. Sometimes your first offering wasn’t what they were looking for and that “hold up” feeling you are experiencing could just be the spirit looking for something else. If you get this “woah pause” feeling, try asking the spirit if it prefers a different payment and go from there.

Spirits are sometimes quite clear in what they want in terms of offerings and will tell me immediately, perhaps through a vision of what they want to occur, or maybe through words. Other spirits are a little more reserved and want to know their options; obviously I can’t offer everything, so what’s on the table?

NEGOTIATE In general we settle what the payment is quite quickly. Then comes the negotiation! You are in a business deal. Unless you’re working with some high level systems that tell you otherwise, never give the entire payment up front. If I expect this task to be performed quickly, in a matter of days or a week or two, I say I will give a small offering now to thank them for their arrival, and the full payment will be delivered when the task has been complete. Spirits so far have not had a problem with this. Sometimes I feel reservation as the spirit thinks it through. Don’t worry if you get “pause” emotions or messages like this. You are communicating with another being. Give them space to think.

If you’re asking for something that will take a while to manifest, work out a payment plan. “I propose that I will give you a portion of this payment every time I see X manifest. Is that agreeable to you?” and let them respond. Most spirits I work with tend to prefer simpler arrangements. They will tell you what they can deliver, and expect fair pay for it. A spirit may request payment on a time table (such as partial payment once a week) and I find this to be an alright deal as long as I see results manifesting. Like put your foot down. You are expecting something out of this… you are paying for a job to be done.

Talk about what might happen if the job is not done. In general I just consider all terms to be broken and we walk away. Don’t go in to punishment land. If the spirit fails to uphold their end of the job, their payment is denied. Walk away. On the other hand, if they do the job and you don’t pay…. that’s a whole other ball game. PAY THE SPIRITS. Like omg don’t even go there.

Once the payment has been agreed on, and the payment method has been agreed on, I proceed to the “handshake deal.”

BROKERING THE DEAL No need to sign contracts in blood. You can, however, have a written contract which I think is a great idea, especially for longer “jobs”. Write out the terms clearly. Sign your magical name, then ask the spirit to put its energetic imprint on the page as a symbol of your deal. I rarely bother to do this but it may be preferable for some people.

Generally, I just say, “I am Crann, offering you X and Y payment to help me get my credit card paid by June. I will pay you in full once the job is complete in June. Do you accept this agreement?”

I will then get a word of “yes” or “I agree”, or a vision of a handshake or some other symbol which means “we are in a contract”, or an emotion of acceptance.

SAYING GOODBYE Once the deal is done I often light a candle and incense in honor of the deal agreed upon. I ask the spirit to stay and enjoy the incense as long as it wishes to, which usually is not long. I usually ground out right away by cooking, watching television, and talking to friends.  

MONITORING THE DEAL I will keep an eye on things and make sure it all seems to be going according to plan. If it’s an “easy” deal I generally expect to see results immediately; within the day or so. If it’s a big working with big goals I would not be surprised if I had to wait many days or even a period of weeks before I see the results I desire. However, in my opinion there should be signs your spirit agreement is working out. If you make an agreement with a spirit and within a week or two nothing is really happening, there is a possibility that spirit was taking advantage of you or something in your contract imploded.

PAYING THE SPIRIT When the correct time(s) come I will do a small ritual to give payment, partial (according to a ‘payment plan’) or whole, to the spirit. I will typically use a candle as a monument to the occasion as well as pleasing incense. If it is a physical offering I will present it and call the spirit and ask it to partake of its payment. If it is a nonphysical offering I will contact the spirit and tell them I am going to begin my end of the payment, and they can expect to see my end of the deal be performed shortly.

Once you believe you have fully paid the spirit, contact the spirit again and ensure that everything is even-Steven. If it is a physical offering ask them, “are you satisfied and pleased with this agreed upon payment?” Don’t let a spirit weasel you in to even greater payments; if you provided what you agreed upon, you are good. If it is a nonphysical offering I believe it’s good to check in just to make sure there is no misunderstanding of what you are supposed to provide, and to ensure that you are carrying out your payment as you need to.

Here’s a word of advice: Don’t forget to pay them. If you are neuroatypical like me, if you forget things, if you get distracted, if you cannot GUARANTEE you will give the payment, don’t enter in to contracts. Use alerts on your phone, journals, calendars, written contracts, whatever you need to do to remember. But if you are at risk of not remembering, don’t make deals.

BITS AND BOBS There is a fine line when it comes to working with spirits that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a being is just so powerful that our little instincts go AHHHHHH and that’s not necessarily negative. But then sometimes, the spirit does mean us malicious intent and the feelings can be similar. In general I would just advise people to work with spirits that do not give them any feelings of discomfort; many of these spirits exists, and there are times to work with more intimidating spirits up ahead :)

You do not need the MOST POWERFUL ULTRA MEGA SPIRIT to get the job done. The more powerful a spirit is, the more you will have to pay it, and the more experience you will need to manage your encounters with it so you remain safe (this doesn’t even mean negative entities… encountering a huge power wave from a positive entity is something you have to know how to control and handle. I have almost passed out from encountering powerful, positive energies.)

Think about nature. Do you need a problem swept away? Ask a stream spirit. Do you need something burned away? Ask a fire elemental. Do you need something glamoured? Ask a fae. Don’t start with encyclopedias of powerful, named spirits. Start small and local :)

If you need magic done, make a deal. But in general it’s really polite and positive and just a good thing to befriend spirits before you ask them for help. This is in my opinion only!!!! For example I have good connections with many species of magical plant spirits. I am known to them and they are known to me, and in the past some have state they will help me when I need it. If you are a stranger knocking on a door a spirit may help you for pay, but if you are knocking on a friend’s door in need, imagine how much better they may care for you and see your needs are met. This is also why it’s important to give back as much as you can. Take care of the spirit world and nature when you can, and be polite and respectful as often as you can. The spirit world really does take notice.

The Old College Try (Lin/Reader roommate AU)

Summary: You spent the summer before your freshman year of college thinking your roommate was going to be a girl named Lin. When you get to campus, that’s not what you find.

Part One: In which there are rooming assignment mishaps, salsa dancing, and Lunchables.  

You can find Part Two here!

Note: Write-a-thon Day 1! This can probably stand alone, but I’m tentatively calling it Part 1 out of 3. College!Lin is hard to walk away from, and I have plans for him.

Rating: T

Words: 2803

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Not-Date

Pairings: T’Challa x F!Reader, Tony x Science

Request:

hi can you write something that the reader is watching harry potter WITH tchalla in secret and EVERYONE finds out and ship it - and then tchalla confess his love for her in a harry potter way like “muggle in the streets but a wizard in the sheets” PLEASE, I LOVE YOU i know that is a little cliché BUT t'challa is everything to me meow 😻 BYE 😺 


Bucky has created a chatroom.

Bucky has invited Y/N.

Bucky: Tell Thor to hand over Mjolnir!

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: I WANT HIS CAPE, Y/N.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: Lady Y/N, please save me from these men!

Bucky: GIVE IT

Sam: GIVEEEEEEE

Thor: Absolutely not!

Bucky: Scared I might actually be worthy? Maybe I can lift Mjolnir. Since my hand is no longer organic, maybe the elevator rule applies to me.

Sam: Damn, I’ve never thought about that.

Thor: That is nonsense!

Sam: Can I have your cape now?

Thor: Why do you want it?!

Sam: it is warm, i am cold.

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“Can Confirm” [Daveed x Reader]

Prompt: If you’re still taking request can I ask for a daveed x reader? Where Daveed loses his voice after a show and the reader had to take care of him? Thank you, I appreciate it.

A/N: so it’s been like 20 years since I posted an imagine? I’m sorry my loves, I hope you all forgive me and enjoy this!! xoxox

T/W: having a cold?

A/U: modern

Words: 2539

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You pulled your coat closer around your body as you stepped outside into the winter snow, rushing to hail a taxi to take you to your workplace. You had been off of work and on holiday for a week, and were excited to get back to your job. 

You were a dresser for a few of the cast members in the musical Hamilton, a job that doesn’t sound all that amazing but filled you with immense happiness. Being that close to the buzzing energy of an acclaimed theatre show made you tingle with excitement every night – and it didn’t hurt that virtually every cast member was incredibly amazing to both hang out with and to look at. You never understood how they could sustain enough energy for a two-hour show, let alone doing it eight times a week. Nonetheless, every member made you feel apart of the Hamilton family. 

You jumped out of the taxi as it pulled up to the Richard Rogers theatre, thanking the driver and giving him some cash before hurrying into the heated venue. You looked up as you heard someone laugh at you shaking small bits of snow out of your hair. 

“Good afternoon, Y/N. Snowing outside?”

“Very observant of you, Lin,” you smiled back, giving him a hug hello and answering all his questions about your holiday, before making your way to the boys’ dressing room to help them get ready for the first show of a two-show day. 

You said a few more hellos on your way down the hall, slowing down as you neared Oak, Anthony, and Daveed’s communal dressing room to catch the end of their conversation.

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Sweet Tooth- A Remus Lupin Imagine

A/N: Another two posts in one night! This is a little tribute to the fact that I already have reached over 100 followers on here, which is baffling?? Thank you all so much for supporting me so much in the very short time I have been on here. I’m so very glad that I have done this and I hope to be getting to some requests that I have received recently, as well! I digress. I hope you enjoy this Remus smut in celebration. This is my very first attempt at writing anything of the sort so sorry if it is no good! Enjoy~

Warning: SMUT 

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

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The Girlfriend Tag

Originally posted by arophan

Imagine: You and Dan decide to give the fans what they want, and cute video of the internents favourite couple

A/N: I know this isn’t any thing about marvel but I couldn’t help myself, I’ve been watching all of Dan and hil’s videos and getting so many feelis. I just had to. Also I really should be doinf my German coursework, bit too late, Dan is more important

Warnings: Some swearing, implied smut but just fluff really

Word Count: 1955 (got a little carried away)


“Hello internet” Dan starts off with his iconic opener

“Today, I am joined by the wonderful Y/N, who you may also know as my girlfriend!” He exclaimed, giving out a laugh as your cue to jump into the camera view.

“Hey guys” You giggled, getting comfortable next to Dan

“Now you may be wondering what original video I have for you today, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get more original than this”

“We are doing the girlfriend tag!” You almost shouted, causing Dan to let out a rather loud groan.

“Jeez, lets tone it now my channel isn’t used to your happy attitude just yet” He joked, covering his ears

“Just because you literally only have the feeling of embarrassment, doesn’t mean I can’t be happy” You fire back, sending a smirk in his direction.

“Oh God, too much sass. I want Phil back” Your dork of a boyfriend joked

“Shut up, we kind of have a part of Phil with us now” You explained

“Really how so?” Dan played along

“Well, he did do the questions for us to answer”

“God knows what kind of weird stuff he has put in here; I don’t know if you guys have noticed but Phil is like obsessed with sharing our relationship with others. If he isn’t taking sneaky photos of us and tweeting them, then he is jumping into a room when we are together doing a live stream of us.”

As Dan continued to talk about his best friend, you couldn’t help but admire his perfect features. His big, wide smile that would light up a room. His unusually large dimple that you found so adorable. How he is constantly touching and checking if his hair looks okay, which of course it does. And his dark drowns eyes, that you could stare into for days.

“..Y/n?” You were abruptly ripped out of your thoughts by Dan waving a hand in front of your face

“Sorry” You blushed, red staining your cheeks as you realised Dan caught you staring at him and will most definitely keep this part in his video, because, well let’s face it, a bit of an arse.

“What were you so caught up about?”

“Just admiring the view” You jokingly sent back and big wink. Now it was Dan’s’ turn to blush, whist also letting out a laugh

“That was so cringe, I might just have to take it out of the video.” Dan spoke to the camera; he was definitely not taking that part out.

“Right so to start this video I’m going to put my hand into the hat and pull out a question. The questions are basically letting you guys know even more about our relationship and hopefully teaching us a bit more about each other” Dan explained.

“Ohhhh can I go first?” You excitedly asked. You couldn’t help it, there was something so fun about doing a video with your boyfriend.

“Of course”

You dove your hand into the hat, grabbing the first folded piece of paper you felt and pulled it out.

“Alright it says, ‘Where was our first kiss?’” For the second time you felt your cheeks heat up.

“I’m going to be so red this whole video, reckon you could like put a filter on me to make me look better?” You joked, however it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Dan laughed, before saying

“So do you want to answer or me?”

“You do it” You always loved hearing Dan talk about your relationship

“Alright, I remember it was our second date and we were just hanging in the living room eating pizza talking after just finishing up on the X-box. I was so nervous, just thinking about leaning in and possibly facing rejection and ruining it all. But then you made a joke out about anime and I knew I had to do it before someone else snatched you away” Dan smiled at the memory, you beaming right back at him.

“Then he just leant in and kissed me, obviously I didn’t turn down that face and now here we are two years later” You finished, butterflies erupting in your stomach at the fond memory.

“OK, next question” Dan stuck his hand in the hat rather ungracefully causing a few questions to topple out.

“Shit” he mumbled, throwing back three in the hat and reading out the remaining one on the floor.

“Finish this sentence ‘My girlfriend is a complete…..’” Dan stopped to think for a minute, you couldn’t help but anxiously wait for what he was going to say

“…..twat” He finally spoke. This caused you both to simultaneous burst out into a fit of laughter, clutching your stomach you couldn’t be surprised at what Dan said, it was so him. You knew Dan loved you with everything he had, it was very obvious. You guys didn’t have a mushy gushy relationship, it was more full of lots of jokes and banter, you guys were basically best friends,

“You are such and arse, why am I dating you?” You tried to sound upset, but the smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face gave it all away.

“You loveeeeee me really” He rather obnoxiously sung

“Actually Babe, I’m secretly in love with Phil and I only come round to your house on the chance that I will see my one true love” You lied, not helping but feel a bit weird by saying you like Phil, who was basically like a brother to you.

“That’s just mean, and a little gross” He complained

“Yeah I know; I have no clue why I said it” you giggled

“Right, my turn” You plunged your hand into the hat, pulling one out to read.

“‘Who wears the pants in the relationship?’ Ohh that’s hard” You thought.

“I know my answer” Dan said confidently

“Really? Alright let’s say our answers on three. One, two, three.”

This caused both of you to say ‘me’ at the same time.

“You’re kidding me right?” You said in disbelief to Dan

“What? Love, I’m always making the decisions”

“Babe, I literally always have to order for us at the cinema because you’re ‘too awkward to talk to new people’”

“Alright, alright I’ll give you that one, no need to share all my secrets on my channel”

Dan took out another piece of paper from the hat, causing yet again one to fall out.

“God, it’s clear to see who the clumsiest one of us is. And that’s hard because I could fall over standing still” You poked out at Dan.
“Leave me alone, you are so mean. So it says, ohhh this is interesting, ‘who is more jealous’?” Dan read.

“Ohhh, that is” You both took a minute to think about it, recalling moments when the other has been jealous. Most of these moments resulting in some seriously fun times together, and just by looking at Dan and the lazy smirk he wore you knew he was thinking about them. You kicked him in the shins, under the view of the camera causing him to jump a little, then answering.

“I feel like you get jealous more often, but it’s not as intense as when I get jealous.”
“Hmmm, yeah I reckon that’s fair to say.” You repeated, it wasn’t hard constantly having beautiful girls running up to your boyfriend, telling him how hot and sometimes the daring ones flirting with him. However, it had happened a few times when we were hanging around with Dan’s friends and one flirts with you, he gets mad.

“We only have a couple questions left” You sadly exclaimed, not wanting this video to be over.

“Let’s hope we haven’t saved the weirdest till last then!” Dan deadpanned

Grabbing one of the last pieces of paper you unfold it and read,

“‘what do I find really fun, that no one else really does?’” You laughed lightly at this weird question, thinking Dan would need a while on this one.

“You watch pimple popping videos” He answered straight away. You sat there with your mouth hanging open, a blush adorned on your cheeks,

“How did you know that? I always try to keep it on the down low” You exclaimed, shocked and slightly embarrassed that he knew

“Sweetheart, we’ve been going out for 2 years, we’ve been living together for 1, there is little that I don’t know about you”

“That’s kind of creepy and really cute at the same time. I knew I chose you for a reason” You hummed

“I’m not some Pokémon woman, don’t objectify me like that” He fired back

“Shut up and read the last question. Because as much as I love doing videos with you I need to cook us dinner, and get it done so it’s ready when Phil comes back from visiting his family.

“Aw look at you, you are literally the only reason we have survived this long. Anyway, here we go and I won’t knock out another question this time.” He took his time in dramatically picking out the question.

“Oh for god’s sake Phil, he’s such a child. It says ‘when did the two of you first sleep together?’”

A deep shade of red engulfs your face and you looked over at Dan with your mouth wide.

“What the hell, he did not just ask that?” You said shocked.

“Yeah you’re right, I’m joking. Lol” Dan admits, handing over the question for you to read aloud.

“It says, ‘Who/When fist said I love You?’ Now that is a cute question” You cooed, recalled that cherished memory that you held very close to your heart.

“Well, I don’t want to spill all the beans about our relationship just yet, so all that you guys will be knowing is that, Y/N said it first. Maybe we can do another gushy relationship story about that some other time. But for now that’s it.” Dan finished off the video and looked at you to continue.

“Thanks guys for watching hope you enjoyed it, and if you did please subscribe and request some more ideas of what we can do next. Byeeee” You finished

“That was so much fun” You turned to Dan, who was already lovingly gazing at you.

“You know I love you right?” He spoke

“Of course, and you know I love you too, so much” You replied inching your face closer to his.

“You know when you told me you loved me, when we were just lying in bed cuddling watching Breaking Bad, I think that that’s the happiest I’ve ever felt.” He confessed. As much as you loved the banter and jokes in this relationship, nothing felt better than Dan confessing his feelings to your, he really did complete you.

“I was so nervous that I had said it too soon, but I’m so glad one of us plucked up the courage to say it” You murmured, now lips a mere centimeter away from each other.

Dan quickly closed the gap between the two of you and soon had his hand on the back of your head pulling you closer. Automatically you brought your hands up to caress his cheeks and you two shared one of the most passionate kisses in your relationship.

Dan gently pushed you back onto the bed and slipped his hand down to your waist, when you suddenly remembered something.

“Dan the camera is still on!”

“Oh fuck yeah, thank God it isn’t a live stream” He jumped up to turn the camera off, leaving it on the side to edit later.

But he only had one thought on his mind now. You. Jumping back next to you on the bed you two finished off what you had started