help me i've lost my mind

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you had any advice on dealing with the mindset you grew up with. I struggle a lot with my own name and MY gender. My parents don't mind me dating whoever. But they believe gender has no in between, and I've been stuck in that mindset for 19 years. My friends avoid pronouns with me because they know I hate female pronouns but hearing neutral pronouns feels like acid after being told they don't exist. I feel lost because I'm not 'her' or 'him', but 'they' seems wrong now too.

I’m going to be honest I don’t really have any advice but I am very curious to see how others may be able to help, so please can people help out down below. Thank you.

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Ten sets out of numerous tweets about my Boring Modern AU for context. I know my twitter audience is different than my tumblr so…yeah…but it’s pretty much just a lighthearted thing that shouldn’t be taken too seriously. I also got some help from twitter friends with a few ideas as well.

Some other notes:

Keep reading

the signs as things I've overheard at art school
  • Aries: "You don't even have a vagina and you're crying"
  • Taurus: "There's only one rule of art school and that is 'On Wednesdays we wear pink'"
  • Gemini: "To anyone else they're just a pair of trousers but for me it's really emotional"
  • Cancer: "I don't actually like art, like I don't actually like the aesthetics of art"
  • Leo: *50 y/o tutor walking past singing Girls Aloud's 'Sound of the Underground'*
  • Virgo: "What should I name my new alter-ego?"
  • Libra: "She's going to dress up as a vagina and shoot the audience with a water pistol"
  • Scorpio: "I've lost my mind...if anyone could help me find my motivation as well that would be helpful"
  • Sagittarius: "Adam Sandler? He's honestly so attractive"
  • Capricorn: *raises hand after lecture* "Do you think this was a good use of our time?"
  • Aquarius: "Some days all I do is wake up, cry and then go nap"
  • Pisces: "I've lost my sparkle today, I've lost my wee Tinkerbell"
  • Dorian: Look at this place. Now that we have so many samples...how hard would it be to build eluvians of our own?
  • Varric: I knew this apostate in Kirkwall you would've gotten along with like a house on fire.
  • Cole: Mirrors to places, that mirror what you've seen in those places.
  • Dorian: Is that approval? Hard to tell with you.
  • Cole: You want to bring some good, a piece of the past that aches to think it's lost.
  • Dorian: After these past few years, it would just be good to create something magical that is also helpful for a change.
  • Vivienne: Or make a fruitless chase for Tevinter's lost glory?
  • Dorian: Come, now. We could visit each other on a whim! Think how much fun life would be if I were always a step away!
  • Vivienne: My dear lord Pavus, the mind practically reels.
  • Cassandra: Is that wise?
  • Dorian: If I get round to it, I'll send you an eluvian, Cassandra. Striking women can never be flattered by too many reflections.
  • Cassandra: (laughs) If you get around to it, shall I be forced to accept?
  • Dorian: If they're going to stuff me into politics, I've got to have some fun on the side.

gloriouskingsandwich  asked:

I feel like I don't want to exist. Not like I want to inflict pain on myself, not out of self-hate or disdain for my life. I just feel like I've peeled away all the layers of things around me only to find the same emptiness. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm lost in my own head. I just don't wanna wake up everyday, I don't want to talk to people. I just avoid life as much as possible. What's the point of existing? Why bother?

i am not a mental health professional, so i think it would be most helpful to you if you talked to someone more knowledgeable about what goes on in people’s minds - i’m only really equipped to talk about what goes on in my mind, and my mind is fucked.

that said; that thought, or that core feeling, has been in my head for almost half of my life now, and it still resurfaces on some days. i suspect it will never go away. and maybe everything really is pointless and empty at the very heart of it. i don’t know.

but the thing that got me out of a particularly long tunnel on that train of thought, was after almost inadvertently killing myself. several times. out of sheer stupid carelessness for my life. not even 1 near-death experience was enough for me to figure out that i truly, really want to live, regardless of meaning - it took, like, fucking 4. just to keep reminding myself because i learn so fucking slow. i kept doing stupid things that would have definitely killed me if i wasn’t so damn lucky.

now let me make it clear that i DO NOT want you have to get that far to realize something that a therapist could maybe just talk through with you. One of my biggest regrets is that i never sought help through all the hard shit, out of some twisted sense of pride, when my life would have been so much better if i just got help from someone who knows what they’re doing. i wasted so much fucking time on having hard times that i didn’t even need to have.

what I at some point finally realized was that my body desperately wants to live. every time i would almost die, my body would fight and fight and fight saying NO NO NO NO I WANT TO LIVE I AM GOING TO FUCKING LIVE. and once i tuned into that, i realized it’s not just doing that when i’m near dying - it’s doing that literally 24/7. your heart is always, physically always pumping. there are millions of cells in you, all with their own special job, all working so hard with the one single intent of keeping you alive.

It suddenly stopped *mattering* whether anything mattered. i didn’t care whether there’s a point. or rather, i stopped caring whether i knew what the point was, because the fact that I’M ALIVE(!!) and exist is so miraculous and mysterious already. what’s more, i only get this for a super short amount of time. you don’t really think about it on a day to day basis,but you are definitely, inescapably going to die one day, and will be given absolutely no more chances after that, and then you really will be nothing. everything you’ve seen, every single image printed on your brain, will disappear forever with you. and after that you really truly will not know the Reason Why because there will be no You to think about the Reason Why.

So again, i don’t know if there’s any point, maybe there isn’t. but i do know that i have so little time to see this world and feel feelings, that it just like….it doesn’t matter whether it matters, because I already got to be alive.

anonymous asked:

Kelse: Um... Excuse me.. I'm afraid I've gotten rather lost while I was on my walk... could you help me find my way home..? *the young man is tall with curly black hair and dark tan skin. One eye is that of a demon and the other is a piercing blue. His horns resemble a broken halo. The young man had two wings: a demon wing and an angel wing. He seemed to be some sort of demon-angel hybrid* (I hope you don't mind my interacting again- -@ask-the-real-hell)

Gil: Hope you looked into who you’re asking for help.

((I don’t mind, but it isn’t me you gotta convince to play nice))

7

You glance up to catch Deacon looking, smiling to yourself. “Find anything interesting?”

He leans in close to a little battered frame with a faded photograph Sans recognizes. It’s one of you and your father, one of the few you have of him, you said. At first you hadn’t wanted to hang it up on the wall with everything else because you didn’t think it fit in with all the photos of you, Sans, Frisk, and Papyrus. But of course it does, because it’s got you, and he likes to think that if your dad was still around that he’d be part of your life and your family right now. He scanned the picture into his computer and printed a copy to store in that broken machine in his workshop out back, just in case. […]

[…] Deacon’s eyes shift to the next picture, and scans up the stairwell at the handful more that are hanging there. He arches a brow and chuckles. “You know they have these things called photo albums, right?”

– from Would That Make You Happy? Chapter 89: Working Together, by @onadacora

Pictures from the stream yesterday!! Of the actual picture wall!! I want to do even more pictures tbh, send in ideas

I couldn’t actually decide on what the picture of Hope’s dad would be. I still have so many ideas. But now he has a face!! Look at that dad. I’m fond of the first one just because you can see his hands and I imagine him with really beat up hands?? Also he’s supposed to be like. Afro-latino(?? don’t quote me on this ask Ona) but the person I had in mind trying to draw his expressions and personality is Samoan so people who commented he looks jamaican/hawaiian?? that is probably why

anonymous asked:

I've lost all motivation to do my school work etc. any tips to help?

This is a tough one :/ Usually when I lose motivation it’s because I’m not interested in what I’m doing. This frequently comes up with schoolwork, especially if it doesn’t feel rewarding. 

For me personally, it’s important to set small, reasonable goals and to keep in mind that baby steps are still steps. It’s easier to keep going once you’ve started. Even if you don’t finish something, or it isn’t perfect, doing something is better than doing nothing at all.

Other potential solutions:

- Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and overall taking care of yourself. Accomplishing a task is a hell of a lot easier when you actually have the energy to do it.

- Work with others (if possible). Meeting with classmates and/or friends gives you a specific time to meet and a goal to accomplish. It also means that someone is holding you accountable for doing your work. And it’s less boring than working alone!

- This sort of goes along with self-care, but remember to balance your social, mental, and physical health. If you’re studying all day then you’re going to get sick of it! Go outside, take a walk, spend time with friends, or call someone. Especially if you’re in college, you’ll burn out quickly if you’re trying to accomplish everything all at once.

- Talk to your teacher/professor/TA and see if they have any suggestions that will make it easier to study. I know it may sound crazy to tell them about your lack of motivation for their class, but trust me, they understand and it happens to everyone. They may know of studying methods that helped other students in the past.

This answer turned out a lot longer than I thought it would be. Hope it helps! x

Help, they make me put math into my programming! 😨

Funnily enough, I find math in this form almost passable? Like, I can sit down with it, figure it out, try how it works, or why some things don’t work, and finally use it for something. I still dislike and feel lost during my regular math analysis lessons (We’re doing shit that borders on absurd.), but I’d call this progress. It’s almost fun in this form. How crazy is that?

anonymous asked:

I want to change the world. But how can I change the world when I'm afraid of the sound of my own voice? How can I change the world if I can barely find the strength in me to leave the house? I'm afraid that by the time I die this life I have lead will have been meaningless. How can I be remembered when so few people know me? I feel like everything I've tried to fix myself has lead to a dead end. I feel lost.

You changed the world by sending in this message today. You changed my world by allowing me to read this. You connected with me, a stranger. Any human being who has a bit of fire in their veins, feels this exact way.

Let me tell you a little secret nobody says out loud: Help is a greater and more efficient force when we help a person at a time, instead of 20 at one go. When we help a loved one, we change their state of mind. We make them feel loved, secure and reassured. And this allows them to be better and when they’re better, they can help others be better.

If we could be ONE person’s ultimate confidant, ultimate rock, we’ve done our job as a beautiful human being. Giving part of yourself away to even ONE person you love gives the world hope. They now know at AT LEAST one person out there wants to love and fight for them. 

If you can make ONE person feel special and confident that you won’t leave rain or shine, you’ve done well. We all need this one person.

You don’t need to help millions, just one. And trust me, your existence alone already has. Thank you for reminding me this very important lesson.

ITS CONFIRMED ITS OFFICIAL… Written in the stars whatever tf you wanna call it EOS IS A GOING TO BE A BLOODBATH… Heartbreak is Coming and we may not survive it ….WHO TF AM I KIDDING PENCIL IN SEPTEMBER 6th AS THE DAY YOU DIE FROM THE FEEL BISHES … Excuse me while I mentally prepare for September 6th…

( btw ebritter2 = Emily Ritter who works at Bloomburys and reads alllll of sjm book months before publishing and is always in Sarahs acknowledgements)

  • <p> <b>What I say:</b> I'm fine<p/><b>What I mean:</b> BIGHIT just released Ma City and it was pretty fucking great between the raps and the vocals I may or may not be literally in fucking tears rn because I am so fucking whipped for BTS and BIGHIT releasing more and more teasers every single day isn't fucking helping my situation and my family thinks I've lost my fucking mind<p/></p>
My grades this semester: 1989 edition
  • Welcome To New York: Everybody here wanted something more.
  • Blank Space: It's gonna go down in flames.
  • Style: We go crashing down...
  • Out Of The Woods: When you started crying', baby, I did, too.
  • All You Had To Do Was Stay: You were all I wanted...but not like this.
  • Shake It Off: I got this music in my mind saying, "It's gonna be alright."
  • I Wish You Would: Makes you wanna run and hide.
  • Bad Blood: *the whole song*
  • Wildest Dreams: I thought heaven can't help me now.
  • How You Get The Girl: Tell her how you must've lost your mind.
  • This Love: Been losing grip, oh, sinking ships.
  • I Know Places: It's a bad sign, bad sign.
  • Clean: Hung my head, as I lost the war, and the sky turn black like a perfect storm.

anonymous asked:

PLEASE HELP-- You answered an ask I had the other day...but more doubt was put in to my mind recently. I'm more comfortable and confident living as male (I'm 16) but my psychologist told me that I have a gentile and soft nature/personality, and implied he doesn't think I'm a guy. He's not a gender therapist. I've just felt like crap the past couple days because I'm lost and don't know what I am. Him saying it made me realize that no one sees me as a guy. I feel like I'm just faking.

Jay says:

Hello! I see you as a guy. If someone doubts your gender just because you’re “gentle”, they’re trash as hell. You are the manliest man!

anonymous asked:

Hi um I was wondering if you could help me out? I've been trying to catch up on Marvel comics but I'm so lost with this whole Incursions/mindwipe storyline? Could you tell me what all things I should read to get the backstory? Does it go all way back to New Avengers in 2012? Does it include all the Age of Ultron & Infinity plots? :s

First I’ll point you over to my two 616 “superhusbands supercanon” posts:

that should give you a good summary of what’s happening, if you don’t want to read stuff/want the spark notes version before you go diving in. As for cold-hard “What to reads”

THINGS YOU DON’T NEED

First of all, Age of Ultron is a whole other thing. Don’t read that for mind wipe. That’s a plot Bendis is doing that is tied into some of the X-Books shit right now and will probably have big Marvel ramifications but NO, it’s not HICKMANVENGERS, so you don’t need to worry about it.

Second, New Avengers Vol 1 or 2 are NOT part of this. New Avengers Vol 3 (which yeah, would be 2012) IS. Read the New Avengers HICKMAN wrote, for this stuff.

THINGS YOU NEED TO READ

  • New Avengers, Vol 3
  • Avengers, Vol 5
  • Infinity Event book

Within the Avengers Vol 5 series, make sure you read the 24.NOW issue (super important plot-wise)

And I recommend the Christmas Edition/Annual because it was just super fucking cute.

READING ORDER:

I recommend you alternative Avengers/New Avengers books at a 2:1 ratio, because it’ll ROUGHLY keep you on the right track plot-wise. So read Avengers 1 and 2, then New Avengers issue 1, then Avengers issue 3 and 4, then New Avengers issue 2, &c. You’ll start to see Infinity gear up in both books. Kinda aim for hitting Infinity at the same time in both books. There’s actually charts… here:

That should keep you on track for the event. Follow the chart!

That’s it! That’s all you need. Just 2 books and 1 event so far, basically. Oh, and then:

UPCOMING STUFF:

  • Original Sin

Stick it on your pull-list (if you’ve got one) because this is the next step in the whole THING.

Hope this helps! Lemme know if any of this was confusing or if you have more questions!

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For my london followers:

My lovely little calico cat Sugi is missing. She’s round about 7 months old and wee, very friendly and inquisitive. Sometime in the night she managed to escape, and as she’s been a house cat since I got her I’m worried that she won’t be able to find her way back to me as it’s all new and unknown.

She’s ginger, white and brown, with an Anakin Skywalker-esque marking across her left eye, and a smudge marking on her lower lip like she just stole all of the chocolate.

She has a big shaved patch with a healing scar on her hind frrom her recent spaying, and smaller shaved patches on her foreleg and under her chin.

As she’s a housecat she has no collar, but she is microchipped.

Last seen in the SW16 area of London, any signal boost would be much appreciated. It hasn’t been especially long since she went awol but my mind is throwing endless worst case scenarios at me and she is such an important bright spark in my life. I just want my cat back.