help me get a friend

sometimes you need to accept that yes i may have been a little bit manipulative. yes i worded something in a specific way that would make my friend/fp/SO feel a bit guilty. yes i could have handled that situation in a much better way. yes i am wrong.

reblog and write in the tags how you got into mass effect 🌌

i did this in my old fandom and i read some amazing stories - i’d love to read about your stories as well !!

“I hated you,” Laurent says, tracing the scars with his fingertips.

Damen starts, then goes still under Laurent’s touch. “I know,” he says after a long moment, his voice slow and rough.

Damen tends to doze off after sex, in the interval between his climax and Laurent returning to their bed, molding himself against Damen’s warm pliant body. Maybe he’d already been asleep.

Maybe Laurent should’ve kept his mouth shut.

“I hated you so badly,” he says. “I’d been hating you so badly for so long. I couldn’t—”

Damen doesn’t move. He stays exactly where he is, curled up on his side with his back to Laurent. Head bent forward, resting on his hands. The curve of his neck looks both appealing and achingly vulnerable. Laurent wants to touch it, wants to kiss it. Wants to cover it with his mouth and his hands to shield it from the world.

“I fixated on you,” Laurent says. He doesn’t want to say these words. He needs to say these words. He’s been holding them inside for too long. They’ve been growing larger in the space between them, even if Damen hasn’t noticed. “People die in war, in battle. In honest combat. I must’ve known, on some level, that it was foolish to hold you—you personally—responsible, but I did. It was easier, blaming you.”

Damianos, prince-killer. The image of his face forever etched into Laurent’s memory. The whisper of his name. All those years Laurent had carried it with him, a maddening undercurrent to his pulse. Damianos, prince-killer. Damianos, who had slain the man Laurent loved more than anyone.

“And then they brought you in front of me,” Laurent says, “trapped, chained, forced down onto your knees, utterly unable to make sense of what was happening to you. Refusing to believe it.”

The way Laurent had felt, after Auguste’s death.

Damianos, prince-killer, who had unwittingly removed the last obstacle standing between Laurent and his uncle.

Damen is breathing hard, Laurent realizes. Curled up on his side, holding still, taking deep shuddering breaths that make his back tremble under Laurent’s hand.

Laurent should’ve kept his mouth shut, but it’s too late now.

“I hated you for so long,” Laurent says, as his fingertips find a thick, ragged line of scar tissue that runs diagonally down one of Damen’s shoulder blades. The lash must’ve cut especially deep here. Too deep for Paschal’s healing salves to assuage it. “If I hadn’t—”

I would never have been able to forgive you.

I would never have been able to forgive myself for forgiving you.

“I had to,” he says, “I’m sorry,” and he leans down to press his lips to the scar, feels Damen shudder under him.

  • me: *trying to write a paper due in nine hours*
  • my brain: hey remember that show Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
  • me: please don't start this I have work to do
  • my brain, utterly ignoring me: In the show, most of the characters we see were imagined by children who just wanted a friend to play with, but others were imagined by children with ulterior motives in mind, such as the monstrous ones kept chained up in the back or the ones imagined to look like food by children at weight loss camps who were on restricted diets. This has many existentialist implications about the purpose and nature of imaginary friends, as well as prompting questions about their society and culture.
  • me: please stop
  • my brain: How much of an imaginary friend's personality, by the time they are taken to Foster's, is shaped by the child who created them vs the culture in which they existed afterwards? Can an imaginary friend be taken forcibly by authorities and placed in custody of Foster's if they become a distraction to others or a threat to society at large? Can imaginary friends be specifically created for a certain purpose, eg with qualities that would make them suitable for thievery, etc? Can they change their purpose or personality, or are they forever trapped in how they were imagined? What about the nature of the imaginary friends themselves? This has broader implications about the existence and nature of the concept known as the "soul." If we presume that a soul exists, do imaginary friends have a soul? Is their soul wholly unique, or does it come from the human who imagined them, ie does the human impart part of their soul into the imaginary friend? Branching off from that, what is the religious structure like in the world of Foster's? Are there places where imaginary friends are worshiped as deities? Are gods just imaginary friends with supernatural powers?

Suddenly I felt very bad for Andrew Hussie because he worked so hard all these years and got scammed and his fanbase left him and he tried to quietly dig himself out of a hole he’s not having fun in anymore while HS’ fans were getting impatient and snappy, and and I deeply enjoyed his comics and I want to know more about his ideas and concepts and I want him to be happy but he’s not and I kinda cried anyway

anonymous asked:

I'm really happy to see you enjoyed the episode. I kind of hated it myself. Or at least the Emma parts. Im disappointed in her writing, and I was wondering how you see it?

The way I see it is Emma has a long history with abandonment. Like an entire life’s worth of it. And the one person she’s finally certain would never abandon her suddenly ups and leaves? After she told him to basically go until he could be who she needed him to be? It’s her ugly history of ‘not being worthy for anyone’ rearing it’s ugly head… and what’s interesting is Gideon was ready for this. He literally used Emma’s biggest weakness against her (while exploiting Killian’s last episode).

You know how even the littlest, seemingly innocuous things can set off someone’s long history with trauma (and abandonment is a trauma - one I know all too well, honestly. A big portion of my own emotional problems stem from that)? The argument between Captain Swan might not has seemed like much, but we know it upset Emma and then Killian’s just gone afterwards? No indication of where he was going, with multiple people having seen him at the docks ready to leave? That’s gonna trigger Emma’s abandonment issues. That’s gonna bring her walls right up.

You wanna know what I think was a perfect indication that she was projecting all these feelings onto this one seemingly ‘minor’ fight they had? The instant she heard Killian’s voice, her walls came down. She didn’t doubt what he was saying. She trusted him right off the start that he hadn’t meant to leave and that he never would. Because she knows that. Only her lifetime of being left behind and not being good enough clouded that and made her react in a way that might have seemed unfair to Killian. Trauma and a long history of something causing you to feel lesser than good enough is insidious. 

That’s how I look at Emma all this episode and why her reaction to the situation didn’t bother me… I hope my explanation helps a little? I’m sorry you were disappointed with how she was portrayed.