help i think i just stabbed myself in the feels

Soulmates feel one anothers’ pain AUs


  • ‘I came to stop this street fight because that really big punch you just recieved made me scream at a cashier. Also are you injured?’ AU
  • ‘This public toilet has a knuckle-shaped hole in the wall, is this anything to do with you? Because five minutes ago it felt like my knuckles were on fire’ AU
  • ‘Holy shit you just got stabbed, you need help but also god my stomach feels like it’s exploding’ AU
  • ‘I think you’re my soulmate because you’re biting your lip and mine’s hurting now’ AU
  • ‘I just banged my knee on that table over there and you hissed in pain, dude I think we’re soulmates’ AU


  • ‘Please don’t touch that flame, I’m/we’re in a public place and I don’t want to scream’ AU
  • ‘Why do you insist on taking out staples by hand?’ AU
  • ‘Please don’t hurt yourself, I can’t stand seeing you in pain and nor could I stand the pain myself knowing why I feel it’ AU
  • ‘For the love of God use oven gloves next time, my boss was about to promote me when I swore in their face’ AU
  • ‘I can feel your stress headache is everything okay?’ AU
  • ‘I came to find you at work to tell you to stop knocking so violently on your coworker’s office door’ AU
  • ‘Why must you get a tattoo whilst I’m trying to sleep?’ AU

Summary: You went behind the boys’ backs in order to help them on a hunt, but you never thought that the backlash would be that bad.  
Pairing: SamxReader
Words: 1356
Warning: Language. Angst.
AN: This kinda hurt to write, but I also really enjoyed it. I wanna thank @skybinx-blog, cos it was a prompt sent in by her that inspired this one! It was originally one of my drabbles, but it seriously got away from me. But I can’t say I’m complaining. Especially since it’s Angst Day!!!  :p
Constructive Criticism Welcome!!!


It was a little scary how angry Sam was at you, considering you’d only ever seen this kind of anger from him directed at the bad guy. You’d always found it heart-warming, how passionate he got when it came to defending civilians, but this… if you didn’t know him as well as you did, it’d be terrifying.

You were sat at the head of the bed in your pyjama shorts a shirt, knees pulled up to your chest as you watched him pace up and down the foot of the bed. He’d been silent for almost five minutes, and you were starting to get worried.


“Don’t,” he snapped, not even looking up at you as he shook his head, “you don’t get to talk, Y/N.”

Making a small, huffing sound, you shifted slightly where you sat. “I think I have a right to defend myself,” you muttered, a bitter edge to your voice.

“Really? You think that?” he said, pausing in his pacing to stare down at you with nothing but rage in his eyes, you could practically feel it rolling off of his body in waves. “Cos from where I’m standing, Y/N, you just stabbed us in the back!”

“No, Sam! I was helping you and Dean out, we needed the help.”

“You went behind our backs and went to Crowley, Y/N. Freaking Crowley! Now, Dean’s got a broken leg and the goddamn Colt is missing. What the hell gave you the right to use that as a bartering chip?” He was going red in the face now, and you could feel true panic starting to rise in your chest, your heart pounding against the inside of your ribs as if it were trying to break free.

Keep reading

Let’s live for real

Reader x Kim Namjoon
Genre: Neighbor!AU
Contains: Smutt, fluff, comedy?, angst?
Warnings: Mentally abuse, depression, anxiety, low self esteem but also 18+ stuff, if you know what I mean ;)
Words: 5K+
Note: I wasn’t supposed to upload my writings here, only write for myself beacuse it’s a way for me to relax. Some things that are mentioned, I have and are going through myself (not the 18+ parts lol). It’s deep and serious but also fun and kinky. It has little bit of everything. I’m happy with the result and I enjoyed writing this so much and I even thinking of countinue writing stuff and post here. But the mainpoint is to make myself relax while writing, so we’ll see haha. And I’m sorry for any mistakes regardning the spelling and grammar, English isn’t my first language hihi :) To not make any misunderstandings, I will NOT take requests. At least not now.

You were always the quiet one. You listens, thinks and observes. To be able to figure out your mood, where your energy is and how to take the next step in life, you need alone time. You feels deep and thinks even deeper. But just beaouse your the quiet one, it dosen’t mean you’re weak. You’re strong. You sheds tears for a moment and then picks up your sword and fights again.

You have always been misunderstood at school. Either you’re bored, depressed, shy, stuck up or judgmental. People fill your silence with their own interpretation. They write their own story, not always the one that’s true to who you are.

You have just broken up with your boyfriend. Throughout the past two years, you’ve been hurt mentally by him. You have often apologized for being angry about it but he have never apologized to you for hurting you. He have never hit you but he destroyed you. He abused you but honstely, he may never realized it was abuse, beacuse it never was physical. When you broke up with him you felt all kind of emotions. You were sad, heartbroken but also very proud of yourself. You realized what your relationship were going and when you found out he was cheating, you knew that this was it. You couldn’t take it anymore. You ended it in a mature way, it was hard and you were angry at him but you had to do it. When he asked you what he could do to make things right between you two, you said-

Keep reading

It’s Going to be Okay

Request: I’ve got a request, you’re the Winchesters sister (older than Sam but younger than Dean) and she sold her soul when she was about 16 to save John, she didn’t tell anybody and 10 years later the hellhounds come to get her, she tries to be alone when she dies but it kinda failed and the boys have to see it happen (I hope it’s not too much information!)

Word Count: 2818

Warnings: some swearing, a little bit gorey when she’s getting ripped to shreds by the hellhounds, just a heads up I almost made myself cry

A/N: ok so heads up I made myself want to curl up into a ball and die on the floor so im almost sorry for writing this but I couldn’t help myself its probably not even that emotional but still and whatever you do make sure that you do not listen to Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE bc I did and now im dead wow im making such a big deal out of this its probably because its like 1am but still
I hope this is what you wanted and sorry that it came out so late, but I just kind of got caught up in other stuff and couldn’t think of what to write soo yeah (btw I got the info for how to treat stab wounds from here and here should you guys ever feel the urge to know what to do in these scenarios)

I reposted this because some people had difficulties getting access to this. Hopefully it works. hmu if not!

“Dad!” Y/N heard Dean scream as the werewolf snuck behind John. She watched as the blade sank into his stomach, one hand stifling his grunt of pain.

“No,” she whispered. “No!” Quickly, she shot the monster in the back, running over to where Dean was trying to support his father.

“Y/N,” he snapped. “Bring the car around back. We’re taking him back to the motel and stitching him back up. Go,” he added when she didn’t move.
Nodding slowly, she ran to the impala. Not wasting any time, she swung open the door and opened the driver’s door. She had to hurry, had to be fast. They could fix dad, he’d be fine. Otherwise…


He’d be fine.

“Open the back door,” he grunted, helping his father to the car. “Sit back there with him. I’m going to drive.”

Quickly they moved, wary of the precious time they had left. Y/N had barely sat down on the seat beside John when the car lurched forward. She gasped, closing the car door and glaring at Dean.

“Y/N,” her father’s voice sounded pained. She checked the wound. It was bad. “Y/N.”

“Yeah?” she responded, not paying much attention to his words. She was too busy trying to figure out what to do while they were driving.

“Don’t…” he coughed. “Don’t let the boys do anything stupid, okay?”

“You’re going to have to hold me to that,” she grunted, ripping off her flannel to use it to stop the blood flow. “You’re not dying on me. Not now.”

“Y/N-” he tried again.

“Dean,” she interrupted. “Step on it. He’s bleeding through everything I can give him.”

“Got it.” The car accelerated, blurring the lights of passing storefronts and homes as they sped towards the motel.

Y/N closed her eyes, pre-planning the next steps. She’d have to first get him inside without shifting him so he’d bleed harder, and then find gauze to stop the bleeding. Once that was finished, she’d clean the wound, sterilize it, and-

“Y/N!” Dean called back to her. “We’re here. Get Sam!” Y/N scrambled to get out of the car, racing inside.

“Y/N?” Sam asked, standing up from his position on the bed. “What-”

“Dad’s hurt,” Dean interrupted, half-carrying him through the door. “Y/N, what do we do?” Sam and Dean looked to her, awaiting orders. She had always been the one to stitch them all back up, even when she herself was injured. It was like they all had a role: Dad was the leader; Dean was the soldier who made sure all the orders were carried out; Sammy did the research; and Y/N was the medic. Together, they kicked ass.

Until now.

“Y/N!” Dean yelled at her, shaking her from her thoughts. “What do we do?”

“Lay him down on the bed,” she ordered. “Sam, apply pressure. Dean, sterilize it. Do not touch the knife. Leave it in. It’s stopping most of the blood flow, and any movement could cause further damage.”

They all scrambled in haste to attend her orders. She tore his clothes to further inspect his wound.

“Y/N,” John coughed. She immediately shoved a pillow beneath his head. “Y/N, remember what I said-”

“No,” she said sternly, looking him in the eye. “You are not dying. I am not becoming an orphan, not today. Sam! Where are you?”

“Coming!” he called rushing over to the bed with his cloth. Y/N scrambled back, letting Sam fill in her spot. Dean followed close behind, following the procedure that she had drilled into his brain from the numerous times she had performed them on him.

She turned to the bathroom, washing her hands and splashing some water on her face. Come on, Y/N, she thought to herself. Dad’s… face it. Dad’s dying, and you don’t know what to do. How can you save him?

Then it hit her.

She vaguely remembered seeing a crossroads on the way here. She knew the moment the knife had plunged into her father’s abdomen that she wasn’t nearly well trained enough to deal with this; not with the supplies she had. There was only one way to save him at this point.

Y/N ran out of the bathroom, snatching her jacket and racing out the door.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed for her, but she kept sprinting. “Y/N, get your ass back in here! Dad’s-” his voice broke off. He was unable to say it. She had to act fast.

Y/N always knew this day would come. That was why she carried a premade box around with her, inside her jacket when they hunted should the occasion ever arise. Quickly she made her way to the gravel road, stopping dead center in the parking lot. Checking to see she wasn’t being followed, she planted the box. Scooping the dirt back over it, she stood up.

“C’mon,” she tapped her foot impatiently. “Come on, you stupid son of a-”

“I’d watch that tongue, sweetie,” a voice from behind her. She whipped around, coming face to face with a young woman. She had dark features and wore black clothing. Not that it mattered to Y/N.

“Save my dad,” she practically yelled. The demon raised an eyebrow. She collected herself, taking a deep breath. “Please.”

“You know the terms, I assume?” the demon asked slowly. Too slowly for Y/N’s liking. “Ten long, good-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Y/N said, striding over to her. “Ten years. I know. Now shut up and take my soul.” With that, she planted her lips on the demon’s. She was shocked at first, but quickly responded.

“See you then,” she smirked before leaving Y/N to walk back to the motel, still in shock from what she had just done. She had barely walked back inside the motel room when Dean was in her face.

“What the hell, Y/N?” he nearly shouted. She frowned, confused as to why he wasn’t screaming, until she saw her father. His chest was gently rising and falling, as though he had just taken a nap and not been stabbed. The blood was hardly flowing, and he was… snoring? Y/N didn’t think that she’d ever heard her father snore before.

“He’s fine.” She shrugged him off, going to sit on her bed. She put her head in her hands.

“He wasn’t when you left!” he spat at her. Sam didn’t even look at his sister.

“Y/N, he could have died, and you left. Next time you decide to bail on family, go ahead and stay away.”

“Dean,” she whispered. “Please. I was-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he snapped. “Now that no one is dead, I’m going for a walk. Because I actually tried to help, so I deserve that.” With that, he left.

“Y/N,” Sam said after a minute of silence. “You did know… you did know that dad was going to be okay, right? Before you left?” She smiled wearily, trying not to memorize every feature of her little brother’s face. She attempted to not memorize his soft eyes, his optimistic tone, his mussy hair and innocence.

“Of course, Sam. I had it all under control.”

Ten Years Later

Y/N drank down the last of her whiskey as she glanced at the clock on her phone. It flashed 11:56pm in the faint light the screen provided. She sat down on the curb, watching as the cars drove by. She waited, ever so calm and patient, for it to come.

For them to come.

She had been experiencing the symptoms recently: visions; sounds; the whole shebang. Y/N thought she had done a fairly good job at hiding them from her brothers, but they weren’t totally convinced. That was why they were watching her from far away. Not that she knew.

It was ten years exactly. Ten years since the deal. Though Sam left and dad did die eventually, she didn’t regret it. There was some sort of a calm washing over her. She was going to die for a good cause, and her brothers wouldn’t see it.

A twig snapped behind her.

She didn’t even turn around. She sighed, standing up.

“I’ll come into the alley. Make it easier to clean up.”

Silently she walked into the alleyway, taking one last swig of alcohol before setting it on the ground. She reached into her pocket, pulling out a letter. She laid it by her canteen. A single tear slipped. I love you, Sam and Dean, she thought to herself. I love you boys.

“Take me away,” she whispered. Then hot breath blew against her neck, and she was knocked to the ground. She didn’t put up a fight.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed, sprinting towards her. Sam was close behind. “Y/N!”
She turned her head around, a sad smile plastered on her face.

“Sam, Dean,” she coughed out, body being torn to shreds by some invisible force. “I-”

Her throat was slashed. She spoke no more.

After a moment, the slicing stopped.

The boys ran to her side, tears streaming down their faces. Sam clutched her jacket front, sobbing openly into her chest. There was no heartbeat, no warmth, no nothing expect the cold and metallic scent of her blood and body tissue that made him want to throw up.

“Y/N!” Dean screamed. “No, you selfish- how could you- why?” His body wracked with cries, leaning his forehead against hers, trying to will her to come back. It was nearly an hour before either of them saw the flask and folded paper beside it. Sam moved to it first. He read it, fresh tears springing to his eyes.

“Dean,” he croaked. “Dean.”

“What?” his brother snapped.

“She… she left a note.”

“… What?”

“Here. Read it.”

He thrust the paper out to Dean, who hesitantly took it. Taking a shuddering breath, he opened the letter.

Dear Sam and Dean,

I know I should have told you, but when I tried it couldn’t come out. There were so many times when I tried to memorize your face, your voice, your everything, that I figured you shouldn’t be burdened with it. It was my weight to carry, and I have never welcomed a trouble more.

Remember that hunt we went on, ten years ago to this date? It was a werewolf case. It got dad. I just couldn’t let him die. So, I sold my soul. I suppose it doesn’t matter much now that he’s gone anyways, but I’m glad I did it. He lived so we could have a parent an adult to watch over us. I did it so Dean wouldn’t have to be the oldest, watch out for his younger siblings. I don’t regret it.

Dean, after reading this and thinking about our argument, I know you’re going to blame yourself. Please, try not to. I know you will anyways, but I love you and don’t want you to go through that. God, I can’t say that enough. I love you. I love you. I love you. Don’t you dare ever forget it or think otherwise. I will kick your ass from beyond the grave so help me. All I ask is that you accept this, don’t do what I did, and move on. Don’t forget me, but accept what has happened and move on. I don’t want you to suffer. I love you. Accept my passing and move forwards. Don’t be afraid to cry. Don’t be afraid to fear. To be afraid to experience emotions. Taking care of yourself takes care of more than yourself. I love you. The only thing I ask you to be strong for is Sam. I know he can take care of himself, but I still worry about the kid. I love you. More than you’ll ever know. I’ll miss you. I’ll miss your stupid jokes and the way your jaw sets when you’re trying to hold in your emotions and I’ll miss your eyes that remind me of second grade when I climbed up in the tree and played with the leaves after the bully pushed me to the ground and you sat with me, saying that you loved me and that nothing would ever happen to me. Nothing ever did. Know that. You couldn’t have stopped me, even if you wanted to. I love you. I love you so much.

Sammy, my not-so-little brother. You never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. I can never repay you for that. Please, I know you are going to find some way to blame yourself, and so will Dean. I just need you to be there for him. Remember all those times where the world was trying to tear us apart, and remember how we said, “Screw you. We’re a family.” I know you’re going to hurt, and I know you’re going to hurt bad. And that’s okay. It’s okay for you to want to cry, to scream, to break everything until there is nothing left and your knuckles bleed. It’s okay for you to fall to your knees, as long as you get back up again. Please, know I love you. I’ll never tell you enough. I never told you enough. I love you. I love your long hair (don’t tell Dean, but it always made me happy when you let me run my fingers through it). I love your eyes that I can never quite describe, the way they always seem to change colours but never fail to turn back to my favourite shade of sunshine through whiskey, copper against sage and honey and when they glow I never fail to smile because even when I felt like calling the hounds early, you always carried me forwards. You never even knew it. I love you. I’m going to miss your quirkiness and love for learning and the way that you always would light up when you knew the answer to a question or saw that we were proud of you. I’ll never stop being proud of you. I’ll never stop loving you.

All the way through hell, I’ll remember you boys and be okay. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to remember how much I love you two, how much I love the way that you’re always bickering to make me laugh and the way that Dean smells like gun smoke and whiskey that I can call home, the way that Sam always tries to look for the best in things, the way that even though life has thrown him every curveball it has that he still hasn’t backed down.

I’m going to try to stop writing how proud I am of you boys before I tear up and ruin this page like I did with the others. Please, be there for each other. Don’t drink away your pain. Remember me. Know I love you. I love you so much. God, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop writing it down. I love you. I love you. I love you. You two have always been there for me, so I ask that you be there for each other. I know you’ll both want to take the impala and drive away from each other and not speak about this incident for days, weeks- hell, probably not even years if I know anything about you two- but please, stay with each other. That’s all I want for you two. I love you. Please, help each other. Be available for each other. Don’t go through this alone. Always keep fighting for me. I love you both so much. More than I can say, more than I can write. I’d do this all again if I knew it meant that you two would at least grow up off the streets, with some sort of food in your stomachs on a somewhat regular basis.

I love you both. Please, carry on. I love you. Don’t worry. Hopefully, we won’t see each other anytime soon. When you go to heaven, think of me. Think of our family. We’ll be alright. You’ll be alright. And don’t bother trying to save me. I made sure with the demon that you two couldn’t bring me back.

I love you. So, so much.

Love from your sister,


There was a short funeral.

Bobby showed up. Rufus showed up. Every single hunter they’d met showed up. Y/N had impacted a lot of people. She’d saved a lot of lives.

The body was up in flames before the sun set. Sam and Dean were at the front, where no one could see the tears on their faces. Not that anyone would have the audacity to mention it. Not when there were streaks on their own.

“I love you too, Y/N,” Sam whispered. His voice cracked, even though he barely was heard.

“More than you’ll ever know,” Dean finished. He looked to the sky. “I love you. We all do. I promise, no one will ever forget you. You have my word, sister.”

Ellie Goulding {Sentence Starters}
  • "Every day I feel this pain, but you just turn and walk away!"
  • "You were like home to me."
  • "But there's trouble ahead, I can feel it!"
  • "Can't you see, can't you see?"
  • "Reassure me that you'll wait for me, wait for me as long as it takes!"
  • "I've figured out that joy is not in your arms."
  • "I just don't know what is wrong, with you and me."
  • "I don't know when you'll break, but it's gonna be soon."
  • "You are the risk I'll always take."
  • "You're as bright as the sun and as calm as the moon."
  • "You know, this is your biggest mistake."
  • "Maybe we forgot all the things we are."
  • "I've seen you in a fight you lost."
  • "I know you better than I ever have before."
  • "I really thought that we'd go further."
  • "And I'm not sleeping, now. The dark is too hard to beat."
  • "You move so fast, makes me feel lazy."
  • "I had a heart then, but the queen has been overthrown."
  • "You show me what it feels like to be lonely."
  • "Oh, I don't think you know me much at all."
  • "And so I tell myself that I'll be strong-!"
  • "I'll give you everything you need, but I don't think I need you."
  • "It's time that we found out who we are."
  • "You're stabbed in the back, but you feel no pain."
  • "I know you care. I know it is always been there."
  • "I know I'm fooled. I can't help it."
  • "Tell me if you feel this pain."
  • "'Cause this is how things ought to have been."
  • "I've never met anyone like you."
  • "I'll wait for you. Maybe."
  • "I just can't keep hanging on, to you and me."

When I’m busy or preoccupied, I often miss tags, so I’m sorry if you tagged me, and I didn’t respond. I did see a tag from the charming and intelligent @misteridiot for the Lemme Get to Know You meme. I’ve already done that one, so I’m going to give another stab to 5 things I like about myself. I did this once before as well, but I made a quick 5 word list with no elaboration, because I just wasn’t feeling myself. I’m not now either, but I think I need to. So thanks for the push, Felix!

Disclaimer: I did get help from my 15 year old on this.

1) I am not a helicopter parent. I let/make my kids do a lot for themselves, and for the most part they can make their own choices. I thought this was how most parents are, but Phia has recently expressed gratitude. Her best friend’s mom won’t let her leave the house in certain outfits, because she has to portray a certain image. She has other friends who can’t cook a simple meal or do their own laundry. I expect my kids to work hard at school and sports, because we make education a top priority, but other than that, I encourage them to be independent. It did take a little better with my oldest than with my son, but they’ll all get there.

2) I am resilient. I think life beats up most of us at one time or another, so I’m not unique. But I’ve had a therapist say she was impressed that I just got up and was functional every day. Um…thanks? I’ve had my fair share of traumatic experiences and have dealt with PTSD. But I think I’ve come out the other side of most of that. Sometimes I don’t think about those things for weeks at a time. I’m never going to be “normal”, and I may never function at 100%, but I’m doing pretty damn well.

3) I am always curious. If I go on a walk, I’m not fast, because I have to stop and examine each toadstool, poppy blossom, or unusual cloud formation. Then I end up googling the item in question and finding out all about it. If something comes up at work, I don’t just take care of it; I look up more information. This week, among other things, I learned about sound abatement in flooring and that not using “split verbs” is a fake grammar rule. I don’t understand how anyone can be bored with so much information available to us.

4) I like my hair. Everything else on me seems to be breaking down, but my hair has stayed healthy. It’s still (mostly) red, and I can grow it long. I don’t have a lot of patience or skill when it comes to hair and makeup routines, so I feel lucky that my hair usually behaves without much work.

5) I am a great junker and bargain hunter. I don’t have much time for it anymore, but I still enjoy the hunt. I could give a lot of examples, but here are just a few of my favorite finds:

• Years ago I bought a crystal dish in a blackened metal frame for $1.50-It turned out to be an antique Austrian crystal and sterling silver salt cellar.

• I found a plum colored Yves Saint Lauren gown from the 70’s at the Salvation Army for $6.99.

• A couple of weeks ago I found the cutest little Victorian calling card tray in sterling for .99 cents at the Goodwill. Usually they catch the good stuff and auction it off online, so that was very fun.

• Last week, I found a green pottery 1950s TV lamp for $7.99. It’s not particularly rare, but it’s in perfect condition, it features a leaping deer, the original bulb still works, and it has pockets that fit our remote controls. I adore it.

• This week I scored a Jackie O style coat with nubby black fabric, an antimacassar, and red lining throughout. In that same haul, I got a vintage crew neck sweater with a pocket watch appliqué, a vintage black pleated skirt, and two beautiful velvet skirts. I think my total was $17.

I don’t want anyone to feel obliged, but if you’d like to do it for the first (or second or third) time, I tag: @neurotic-rob, @whiteelephantintheroom, @pukeskywalker, @sarcasticjess, @bedside-manner, @justbudfox, @bariatricbutterfly, @drethecajun, @pandoranora, and @butterflystar007. And anyone else who wants to do it. ❤

You only like me, You Love her

Request:  Can you do #6 with Stiles, I understand if you can’t but if you do, can you make it so that the reader loves Stiles, but he’s too obsessed with Lydia to notice, thank you and I love your blog 💕

Pairing:Stiles x Reader(Warning there is swearing)

A/N:Please read its very important. So I haven’t been updating because I’ve been very stressed because my mom is pregnant and today she just went to the hospital(she’s fine) and the doctors are going to preform an emergency C section. So my sister is going to be born today. My parents are at the hospital while I’m home babysitting my 4 year old sister. I hope you guys understand, love you!

I was at Stiles house staring at the board. We were trying to discover this new creature in Beacon Hills. The whole pack and us were at a lost. All you could see was red string covering the whole thing.

You could tell Stiles was very stressed and annoyed. I tried to help as much as I could but we were stuck. We fell in a hole(haha;). But it seemed as if Stiles was distracted.

“Hey Stiles, are you okay?” I ask with a soft voice.

“Yeah, I’m totally fine. I’m fine with a new creature running around town killing people” He said in his sarcastic manner. I let out a sigh.

“Here, take a break-” He cut me off.

“No, Y/N, I can’t just take a break, do you want people dead”

That’s how Stiles has been acting, he’s been very snippy. Very over the edge. The pack wasn’t saying anything and nobody would say anything. But I decided I’d say something.

“Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?” I question. You can tell something triggered something in him, but I had no regrets in this act.

“What crawled up my ass? Y/N you’ve been doing nothing, here I am doing all the research and your complaining about my attitude.” He said standing up facing me. I got up from the bed.

“You know damn well that I’ve been doing everything I can”

“Well its not enough!” He shouted. That hurt me. I just stayed silent, he didn’t say anything, nor did I. We just watched each other. He was the first to break eye contact and rubbed his forehead, “God, I knew I should’ve just told Lydia to come, she would’ve been more help”

And that was a stab, “What?” I cruse myself for letting my voice crack. He looked up surprised like he didn’t think he said that out loud. I noticed a wetness on my face, I quickly wiped it away.

“Y/N…” He said trying to take a step towards me, I just stepped back. “No Stiles, its okay, at least I know how you feel” I said walking across the room past him to grab my bag about to leave.

“That’s not how I feel” He said grabbing my arm.

“Stiles, just stop. Its always Lydia this, Lydia that. and I see where I stand”

“No, Y/N” He trailed off. I nodded my head and walked out his room door. I walked down the stairs and almost at the front door but was stopped when I heard heavy footstep right behind me. I felt my body be turned around, Stiles firm hands on both of my cheeks.

“Just stay please” He whispered, I shook my head. This was he hardest things I’ve ever done, telling the boy that I’ve loved since freshman year. “NO Stiles”

“Don’t you get it? I’m tired of loving someone that doesn’t love me. Or feeling that I’m not enough because I’m not her”

His facial expression changed like realization. Some tears fell from his face,

“Y/N, I do love you” He tried to say.

“Stiles…we both know you only like me, you love Lydia” I said trying to walk past him.

“No Y/N its you”

“Stiles..make this easier on both of us” I whispered, I took a breathe, “And if you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for me” 

He just kept cupping my cheeks, He slightly nodded before kissing my nose. “Bye Stiles” I whispered closing my eyes.

With that said I walked out the door.

A/N:Im sorry its not that good but I hope you somewhat enjoy.

So… um… yeah, where should I start…

Today is a… well… sad milestone in Cosplay Blog’s life, because today we received our first copyright infrigement letter. And I don’t think I should hide it from you, you deserve to know everything about it. I’ll hide holder’s name because… well… just because.

So… what’s the point of this post? Okay, the most important one is that I want to explain myself, explain the situation, explain the Cosplay Blog policy and describe our own internal mechanisms for creators to remove content they don’t want to see in this blog. Let’s begin.

When I started Cosplay Blog my first thought was “Damn, I want to share content with people, I want to show them cosplay and I want them to know what the characters are!”. But then I realized that behind beautiful picture there’s also a colossal amount of work done by cosplayer, photographers and their assistants. I’ve changed.

And also, back in time I was really overwhelmed by amounts of posts I had to make to keep this blog up and running. I just didn’t have time to go through “write a letter to author -> wait few days -> post a photo” process, I really didn’t. I was young, I was a little bit rush-y, I wanted to share. I’ve changed.

That’s why I decided to create something that would honour authors by mentioning their social profiles, lots of them! The more the better! My thought was “I’m doing bad things, I’m feeling myself like I am a thief, I am a terrible being… but what if I link to the authors? What if I will be not like those sites that post photos without a single backlink? Maybe I’ll be a little bit better than them?”

A little bit after I started to make connections with creative people. I sent them letters about permissions, I got the positive (and few negative) answers, I posted their works. I even did a collab with Adam Patrick Murray and made a whole week of his unreleased photos with his own comments on them! Days were pretty bright, it seemed that content creators were pretty pleased with credits underline I added to every single post, even when there wasn’t any backlinks on dA or FB. I lurked for photographers, I lurked for cosplayers, I wanted every single person be credited. I don’t want to feel myself a… thief.

I’m not excusing myself, no. Just don’t think that I write this up so I could just say “Hey guys, look at me not giving a fuck about all of this! I stole, I’m stealing and I’m going to steal again!” It’s been 5 years and still every photo that I post stabs me in the back with the “you’re stealing content, you bastard, you are thief!” thing whispering in my ear.

I’m feeling terrible and awful right now. I just don’t know how many posts’ authors are waiting to write an abuse about their rights violated back in 2011 or 2010. I can’t help myself and stop thinking that even if now I start to post content only from those ones which permission I got, I have a backlog of 2000+ posts and anyone can go back in our archive, see their post and write an abuse about it. And you know the rules: few more abuses and you can say good bye to Cosplay Blog. So maybe you’re witnessing the beginning of the Cosplay Blog’s dawn, I don’t know.

If I lose the blog, I just can’t imagine how to… how to continue to do anything. Like, okay, I’ll make a new blog and… and how will you know about it? How I’ll tell you that that one is the new Cosplay Blog risen from the dead? I don’t know.

This situation is pretty ironic, because this year I decided to “officialize” Cosplay Blog by gathering permissions from lots of photographers and cosplayers about their content

I was always opened for a chat. Have you seen CB’s title? Especially this part:

All the photos on this blog remain the property of their respective owners. If you see something that’s yours (your cosplay or your photo) and you would like it removed or credited differently, just let me know. You can visit the source by clicking pictures.

I never said that I owned a photos, nor that I was locked away when it comes to “You! Remove my photo and don’t post anything from me again!”. You write – I apologize and remove. I just thought that authors that weren’t happy to see their works on CB won’t start a war against us ASAP, I thought that these authors will come to me, telling me that I am a disgusting thief and demanding to remove their photos from my blog. I was wrong.

So now I want to apologize to every single person which works were posted in CB without their permission. It won’t work, I know, but still, I’m sorry that I used your content without your consent. I never had a thought to use it to make myself rich with it, I never was about selling your stuff, I don’t have ads in my blog, it was always about sharing, I never wanted to abuse you and disvalue your work. I only was a little bit lightheaded with my desire to share your works.

And (what’s very important to me) I want to apologize to every single Cosplay Blog’s follower who now can easily lose CB (I don’t know, maybe you liked it, maybe you thought that we were awesome). I won’t judge you if you’ll unfollow us right now because you thought that we were good, but we are assholes just like the others.

So… for now… I still have few posts in the queue.

But I need to come up with something.

I’m feeling very awful.

I’m sorry, guys.

in-spirational  asked:

cs au- doctor!killian & patient!emma

A/N: I’m 150% sure this is not exactly what you had in mind, but this is what my muse came up with. I hope you like it anyway! 

When Dr. Killian Jones walks into his newest patient’s hospital room, she is nothing like he expects. He is floored instantly, not just because she’s undeniably beautiful — and she is, she’s got these eyes that he can’t help but stare into, and everything about her seems to glow— but because she’s so young. 

He admits that he hasn’t read her file yet, because she’s the twentieth patient he’s had in the last four hours and he’s exhausted, but he still feels guilty. He should have read the file, he should have known more about her before he walked into the room, because he realizes he’s been staring at her for nearly ten full seconds. 

“I’m Doctor Jones,” he says, trying to get ahold of himself, and he holds out his hand for her to shake. 

She’s staring at him warily, and it’s a few seconds before she shakes his hand. He desperately tries to ignore the spark he feels at her touch, knowing that this is absolutely not the time or the place.

Keep reading

The Only Reason (Song Preference)

all of them are in Y/N POV except for Calum


Don’t talk, let me think it over. How are we gonna fix this?

“Mike, please talk to me.” You begged your boyfriend Michael, pulling on his arm to try to get him to look at you. He hadn’t looked at you since you’d told him and you couldn’t tell what was going through his mind at the moment.

“What the fuck do you want me to say Y/N?! That it’s okay? Because it’s not fucking okay!” He pulled at the ends of his newly dyed white hair and finally turned to look at you, you saw the streaks that the tears had made down his face and your heart broke even more, if that was even possible.

“Mikey please calm down.”

“ I will not calm down! You fucking cheated on me,Y/N! How the hell do you expect me to respond?” He screamed at you, the vein in his neck popping out from the over use of his voice.

“It was a mistake! I was drunk and lonely and you were on tour!”

“You are not using that as an excuse! You can’t somehow make it my fault! You knew how long we would be apart and you still choose to stay with me! I didn’t even look at any other girls because I knew I had you and I love you so fucking much it physically hurts!” Tears were now streaming down your face; Michaels face was contorted in pain and pure anger. You had never seen him like this and didn’t think you ever would, it hurt even more to know that you were the cause behind it.

You didn’t know what to say, no apology could fix this, you knew that, but there was nothing else you could say. He was right, there is no excuse for what you did.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered, knowing it would do more harm then good but not being able to keep your mouth shut.

“Oh, you’re sorry?! Gee that’s great Y/N, that makes up for it.” His voice was laced with sarcasm and it felt like a slap to the face. He was pacing the living room now, running his hands over his face and just repeating no over and over again. He suddenly grabbed a vase his mother had given you two when you’d moved in together and sent it flying against the wall.

Fuck!” He screamed and you flinched against the anger in his voice.

There had to be some way you two could fix this, you were Micahel and Y/N, you got through everything together, you can’t just leave this broken.

“Michael, please calm down so we can fix this.” you begged him, trying to get ahold of his arm but he just pulled it out of your grasp, pulling at the ends of his hair again.

He gave an exasperated sigh and started walking towards the door.

“Mikey, please-“

“Just, don’t talk, let me think it over. How’re we gonna fix this, Y/N?” He didn’t even turn to look at you before opening the door and leaving.


Even though my dizzy head is numb I swear my heart is never giving up.

3 months. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve talked to her. Heard her voice. Seen her.

And it’s been 3 months of absolute hell.

I thought I was getting over it, slowly but surely. I’d started laughing again, granted not as much as before, but I wasn’t sulking in my room like I had been the previous months. I was starting to be fine again. Until I came home.

As soon as I stepped off of the plane memories just came crashing back, there wasn’t a single place I could go to or think of that didn’t remind me of her in some small way.

I could feel myself going into the hole again, so I did the only thing I thought would help, went to a bar and got wasted.

I honestly wasn’t planning on drinking this much, but as soon as I had one drink I needed more, they helped numb the pain, it was now a dull throbbing instead of feeling like someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the chest like it had felt all day. 

The bar tender kicked me out close to 3 am because I was a sobbing mess and wouldn’t stop yelling at any one who tried to help.

Before I could process what I was doing or where I was going I was at her door, banging on it and screaming her name.

I was still banging when the door flew open and my eyes landed on her. She was in pajamas and her eyes were puffy from sleep. 

“Calum? What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s three in the morning, Calum.” I could tell she was irritated, her eyebrows always scrunched together when she was.

“I know.”

“Okay, I’m going to go to bed now.” She went to close the door but my hand flew out to stop it.

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“You’re drunk.” She sighed, but stepped out of the way so I could walk in.

She led me to the living room and made me sit on the couch while she got me a glass of water and a blanket. 

“You can’t go home like this, Mali will kill you. Sleep on the couch, you can leave in the morning.” Her voice had an almost uninterested tone to it but I could see the sadness behind her eyes.

“Thank you.”

She nodded and headed back to her room; I laid down and was almost asleep when I heard her quietly whisper, “I missed you too, Cal.” 

I was asleep before I could answer.


Bitter words spoken, everything broken.

You and Luke had been dating for 2 years; you’d been there from the start of 5SOS and had supported him in everything he did. Now that they were joining One Direction on their TMH Tour Luke had been trying to get you to go with him, but you had said no every time. You were still in school and wanted to finish your last year with your friends. It had been a constant argument for the past few days and he had brought it up once again tonight during your movie night.

“I’m not going Luke, I told you I’d visit you once school’s finished.” You kept your eyes glued to the TV but felt Luke shift to look at you lying on his chest.

“That means we won’t see each other for over half a year! I can’t deal with that, Y/N. Please just say you’ll come with me.” You sat up and he grabbed your hand and held tight, his eyes pleading with you to say yes.

You sighed and shook your head, getting up and heading to the kitchen to make some tea.

 “What’s so bad about going with me? Do you not want to spend every day with me? Is that it?” His voice was full of anger and hurt and you rolled your eyes before turning to face him in the doorway.

“You know that’s not true. But that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to go. I’ll miss you like crazy but I need to finish school.” 

“You’re lying, you’ve been distant ever since I told you I was leaving.” He crossed his arms over his chest and you felt tears prick at your eyes.

“That’s not true.” You shook your head, a tear falling down your cheek.

“You know it is! You’ve never really been happy for me and the band, all you care about is me getting back to school.” His words slashed straight through your heart and you couldn’t believe he was saying them.

“That’s bullshit, Luke and you know it! I’ve been nothing but supportive of you and now you’re being the exact opposite with me!”

“Well if I’m being such a bullshit boyfriend then why don’t we just break up and you won’t even have to decide if you want to come with me or not?!” He screamed in your face.

“Maybe we should!” Your cheeks were now stained in tears and you couldn’t believe you had just agreed to that.

Luke looked as surprised as you did about the three words you had just screamed at him, he ran his fingers through his blonde quiff trying to figure out what just happened. Before either of you could say anything he turned and walked out of your house, slamming the door behind him.


Is it too late to bring us back to life?

You put the last pair of jeans into your bag and zipped it, you stepped back and took in the sad sight of the now half empty closet. 

You had been planning this for a few days; you didn’t know how you were every going to be able to leave your boyfriend of four years. You knew that if he was there when you left you wouldn’t be able to go, so you decided to do it while he was at work. He wouldn’t be home until late; it had become something usual now. He would go rehearse or record with the boys and then go out afterwards, not coming home until late, he never came home drunk though, you were grateful for that.

You were planning on leaving a simple note on the kitchen counter and were just setting it down when you heard the front door open and Ashtons voice ring through the quiet house, “Babe? Where are you?” You heard him walk down the hall and stop at the stairs, “Why is your briefcase down here?” his voice was laced with confusion and you quickly wiped the tears that fell onto your cheeks.

Ashton walked into the kitchen and took in your appearance his eyebrows crinkling together, “What’s wrong?”

You took a breath and said the three words that you knew were going to tear your world apart, “I’m leaving, Ash.”

His eyes widened in understanding and he ran the rest of the way to you, grabbing your arms and looking into your tear filled eyes with his own hazel ones. 

“You can’t do that Y/N. I love you, you can’t leave me.” He slowly shook his head repeatedly and you saw his eyes fill with tears.

You pushed his arms off of you slightly and walked around him, “Oh come on Ashton, you had to have seen this coming, we don’t even see each other anymore and when we do we don’t even talk, you spend all your time with the boys or in the basement with your drums. We’ve been apart for a long time, we’re just making it official now.” You made your way out of the kitchen and grabbed your bag.

“Please Y/N, I can fix this. You know the bands just taking off and I have to put in my energy there, but I promise I can be better. We can work through this. Please don’t leave me.” He whispered the last four words and it took everything in you no to turn around and hug him and tell him that yes, you could fix this and it would all be fine. But you knew that was a lie, this couldn’t be fixed.

“I’m sorry.” You opened the door and stepped outside, “Goodbye, Ashton.”

I’m thinking of doing a part II, would anyone want that?

please let me know what you think :)