help i have lost control of my life

10 Things I needed after Top Surgery

1. A place to stay and someone to stay with.  Seriously, recovery is not something you can do on your own.  If you know a nurse who is willing to hang out with you it makes life 10X easier because they are used to seeing blood and helping people and cleaning up messes.  My friend even helped me wash my hair over his kitchen sink and changed my dressings for me.  No reaching, no stretching, no bending over, it’s great.

2. Something soft and comforting.  The pain meds made me woozy and a little emotional.  I couldn’t control when I slept, when I was awake, I couldn’t even keep my eyes open sometimes.  I lost track of time, started conversations I didn’t remember, etc.  Having something around that was constant like a specific blanket, a drink you like, a tv show you can binge on that you’ve watched before (you’ll fall asleep and no remember what happened), helped make me feel more stable.  I chose a blanket and pillow that I particularly like.  And have some Arizona tea always around.

3. Bendy Straws.  This is pretty common but they’re really a life saver.  I didn’t have to pick my arms up for anything really. 

4. Something to keep toilet paper closer to the toilet in the bathroom.  Whether this is a cheap toilet paper rack or even a small bucket or stool, I had issues reaching the toilet paper roll because it was either too far in front of me or on the wall behind me.  Consider where the toilet paper is in your bathroom and make adjustments if you need to.  

5. Glass cleaning cloth.  With how much I fell asleep and woke up, my glasses were constantly on and off my face, falling on the floor, and of course I had to pick them up with my toes if I was alone because I couldn’t bend them over.  At some point I was ready to safety pin a cloth to my surgery binder so I didn’t have to keep asking for one when I couldn’t see through all the smudges.  This is also helpful for computer screens and phone screens especially if you aren’t wearing normal clothing like a soft tshirt or jacket.

6. Easy access medications.  If your meds come with child locks on them, you might not be able to open them.  Find a jar or something with a really easy access lid - something that screws off with you having to push buttons or pop anything - and LABEL things according to what you use them for.  Pain meds really clogged my thoughts so seeing words like “OW” and “BLEH” on the top of bottles helped me distinguish which med was for pain and which med was for nausea.  Have fun with this one.

7. A pillow that won’t run away.  If you’re sleeping in a bed, try body pillows around you.  If you’re sleeping on a couch, make sure it’s not a couch that will swallow you between the cushions.  I spent most of my time in a recliner with a travel pillow around my neck.

8. Meditation music or something quiet.  After the first 12-24 hours I found myself holding my shoulders up trying to reduce the pain on my incisions which caused a lot of tension in my back, neck, and shoulders.  At some points they were more painful than the incisions.  Take some time to really meditate and relax your muscles or the tightness will impact everything around you - pain levels, mood, etc.  

9. Easy access snacks.  I love clementines so we found some that were easy to peel.  Chip bags that are small and easy to handle are nice too.  Light plates, bowls, plastic cups, things that don’t require a lot of coordination work well because it’s hard to get situated and then have to reach for a ton of things.  Eat food that only requires one utensil.  Etc.

10. Short Walks.  March in Michigan is cold, so we went to stores to get one or two things, I leaned over a cart and hobbled through.  It made me dizzy and painful, it sucked most of the time, but once I sat down and relaxed I felt so much better than pre-walk.  I wasn’t fidgety anymore, I felt like I could actually sit still and let myself heal rather than getting up every 10 minutes or asking for water or reading a book or scratching or painting my nails.  I slept better after walks, I ate better after walks, and I felt more emotionally stable after walks.  


Okay, those are my top 10 things.  I’m sure there are others depending on your situation.  Some people recommend cough drops for your sore throat after anesthesia, I didn’t experience this.  I also experienced a little more draining than a lot of guys do and thus needed some extra gauze and bandages.  Long phone chargers, comfy slippers, and loose-fitting clothes are often recommended too.  I used my regular 6ft charger, had some slippers but mostly only wore them when my feet were cold, and I wore shorts and my surgery binder for most of the week after because it was easier to regulate my temperature with blankets than take clothes on and off.  

If you have any questions feel free to message me.

I’m Still Yours - Chapter Twelve

SPN FanFic

~When Jared calls on you again, you go with a smile, but it’s not all fun and games anymore~

Jared x Reader

2,283 Words

Warnings: NSFW, RPF, Established D/s Relationship, Angst-travaganza

~Feedback fuels my writing.~

Series Masterlist

Jared finally heard you and immediately stopped, removing his hand from your throat and pulling away. As the air returned to your lungs and your blood flowed back into your limbs, you scrambled away, almost falling as you bolted from the bed and locked yourself in the bathroom. Shaking and weak, you fell to the floor, collapsing in a sweaty heap, out of breath and out of your mind with panic. The cool tiles stung your naked skin, but at least it was something. You could feel that, feel the pain running through you, and you knew you were alive, you would be fine.

You could hear Jared behind the door, slapping his palms to the wood and calling for you to let him in, but you couldn’t move.

“Y/N, please, let me in. I am so so sorry. Please, say something. Open the door, Baby Girl.”

You couldn’t answer him. There was nothing to say. You were not alright and it was your fault. You had pushed for something, for Jensen, selfishly, and this was your reward. Jared had already been teetering, preparing for a breakdown and instead of being his lifeline, you shoved him off of the cliff.

Eventually he moved away from the door and sat on the bed. You could hear his feet on the carpet and the mattress receiving his weight. When your heart returned to a manageable rhythm, you stood and looked at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were bloodshot, your jaw and neck already bruised in the shape of his huge hand. Lines of drying blood marred your shoulders.

“This is what you get,” you told your reflection and then ran the shower to hide your tears.

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Soulmate, My Ass: Part VI [Eric Coulter x Reader]

AN: Eeeep, I’m so excited to post this one. This one is so long, I had to divide it into three parts. This is the first one. We’re building up to something here guys. Eeeeep…

PS: This is dedicated to all 1008 of you. We did it guys, we reached 1000 followers. I honestly couldn’t have done this without you and your little messages. So, keep those reviews comin’ because they literally help with my writing. Thx so much guys. 

Now, Eric, play nice!

Originally posted by ladanvm

You’ve been avoiding Eric. It was just your coping mechanism, how you deal with problems that you have no control of. You know that it was cowardly of you but you needed time.

Time, they say, heals all wounds and you were inclined to agree. 

Charlie’s death had been a shock to you since he was your first. The first life you lost in the line of duty. That and the fact that you were close only worsen the blow. But that fight in the training room that night helped. To hell with the lie you told Eric when he asked, you were pissed at him too.

That night, you went back, took a long shower and didn’t sleep until the crack of dawn, just thinking. A few hours later, you were back to work, as sharp and efficient as ever.

And life goes on. Everything went back to normal. Well, almost everything.

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More BNHA sketches (AKA I’ve Lost All Control of My Life Please Help Me) featuring: 

  • Megane!Toshi in a big sweater for some reason?? (I’m going to color this one as soon as life allows :3c) 
  • Attempted muscle practice, and I have no idea! What!! I’m!!! Doing!!!! 
  • I realized that every time I draw Aizawa he’s always making That One Face™, so I tried to draw him smiling, and, well…. yeaahhhh
~Punishment (A.I.)~

Warnings: daddy kink,spanking ,and slight choking kink.

“Gonna have you screaming,” he breathed into my ear and I moaned.

He trailed kisses down my neck, nipping as he went and listening to my breath hitch in my throat. He sucked at my collarbone before running his lips down over the top of my breast. He let his bottom lip slowly slide over my nipple before leaving an open mouth kiss. I gasped and he smirked as he glanced up at me and flicked his tongue out. I gasped as my hands sunk into his hair and he moaned. He closed his mouth around it and sucked on it. He trailed kisses to my other breast and repeated the same process and he was smirking against the skin of my stomach as he slowly moved down it, laying open mouth kisses along the way. He nipped at the inside of my left thigh and my leg jumped slightly. He laid on his stomach in between my legs, glancing up at me. He moved his arms under my knees and pushed my legs up and apart a bit further. He left his arms wrapped around my thighs before he blew cool air across my slit. My hips jerked slightly and he smiled at my reaction.

“Mmmm,” he moaned as he licked in between my folds.

I whimpered as my hand gripped ashton’s hair tightly , holding it out of the way so I could see those forest green eyes glancing up at me as he sucked my clit. I gasped in a breath as he shifted forward some, pressing his face deeper into my center. “Ashton.” I moaned as I bit my bottom lip. Then he suddenly stopped.

“No, baby,” He shook his head. “What did you just call me?” He frowned at me.

“Daddy,” I corrected myself.

“There you go, baby girl?” He laughed. “But I don’t know if I can just let that pass, love…can’t have you thinking you’ll get away with it every time.” He shook his head. “Might have to punish you.”

“But I’m sorry, daddy,” I mumbled.

“I know, I know you are.” He whispered. “But otherwise you’ll never learn, now, will you?” . He began rubbing at me again, tilting his head to the side, as if thinking about his decision for a moment.

“Come on, baby, across my knee.” He whispered.

“But daddy I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again,” I pouted, sitting on my knees and staring up at him.

“Are you arguing with daddy, baby girl?” He taunted.

“No, daddy,” I sighed as I laid down across his lap I knew that he’d only get more upset if I complained.

“Now you’re gonna be a good little girl for me Princess and take all fifteen spankings and count every single one loud and clear. If I don’t hear you and lose count, we’re gonna start all over again. Are we clear?” He said with his authoritative dominant voice and I shivered in delight as his hand massaged my bum.

”Yes Daddy.” I moaned. He continued to massage my bum with his hand and this continued for a couple of seconds, then randomly out of the blue I felt the palm of his hand land on my bum and I could feel my ass wiggle as his hand marked my skin. The sensational feeling of stinging and burning excited me. ”One.”

“We both know that this isn’t much of a punishment for you, anyway.” He whispered gently in my ear, as he caressed my bum before bringing his hand down on it harshly. “God, I love seeing my hand, imprinted on your skin.” He sighed happily. “I love it.” He brought his hand down on me a few more times, whispering loving words as he punished me and telling me how much of a good girl I was for taking my punishment.

”thirteen.” I moaned as his hand harshly landed down my lower ass cheeks, making my leg twitch as the burn roamed through the back of my thigh.

”Louder.” Ashton ordered as he spanked me on the other lower part of the ass cheek. I felt it jiggle a little as I writhed against his lap.

”fourteen!” I yelled out loud. The spankings became even harder and the stings became more and more intense. My hips wiggled but his hand soon gripped my hips to keep me still. ”fifteen!” I whimpered as his hand slammed down against my skin. It felt like my ass was on fire.

“You’re so good for me, aren’t you, love?” He hummed. “You’re such a good girl for taking your punishment so well, you deserve a reward,” he moaned. “Hm… what should be your reward” he thought out loud, then his face lit up. “Sit on my face,” he urged gently as he laid down.

I was somewhat hesitant as I edged closer to his smirking lips, watching as his bottom lip was taken between his teeth in anticipation. His huge hands guided me up and positioned me over his face as I gripped the headboard for support. I was expecting a moment, maybe two, to prepare, but Ashton clearly had other things in mind, his tongue poked out to lick a long stripe up my slit, I gasped because it was so sudden. First, he teased my clit with the tip of his tongue, then working in figure-8’s down towards my core. As soon as he met my entrance, he wasted no time in snaking his tongue into my aching heat and teasing me from there. His hands held a firm grip on my thighs, and he occasionally spanked my bum if I tried to close my legs or if I moaned too loudly. Then his tongue went completely in me and curled into my g-spot, then he sucked on my clit. I was so overwhelmed by the pleasure so I sat up but then he held my hips just buried his face even more in me. He moved his tongue down to my entrance, curving it and getting my juices on his tongue before swallowing and moaning. I carded my fingers through his hair as he slipped his tongue in and out of my entrance before moving up to suck my clit back into his mouth.

“Yea. Like that,” I moaned as I started rolling my hips down into his mouth. “Daddy!” I chanted as my body shook as my first orgasm of the night overtook me and my thighs slightly clenched around Ashton’s head. He forced my legs open and held me down on his face as he continued to suck and lick my clit, then shortly after I had my second orgasm. My legs shook as I got off of his face. He sat up and he made a show of licking his lips before wiping his chin with the back of his hand. I giggled at him because his hair was messier than usual. He looked wrecked and we had only just begun. It was one of those nights where he was going to go all night and i had no say in it. Not that I would ever complain. I crawled over to him and kissed his shoulder before kissing his neck.

“Lay down” he demanded and I obeyed and just to tease him I closed my legs, he came a bit closer to me and forced my legs apart and I giggled. He rubbed the tip of his cock against my clit and I whimpered and he smirked as my hands held on to his strong arms.

”Do you want it, princess?” he smiles and it’s a dirty, sweet smile that says ”I’m going to tease you so bad and you’re going to be begging for it.”

”Yes, daddy, I want it so much, please give it to me, please”, I grind against him but he’s having none of that and pulls his hips back the second I try to move. “Please, daddy”, I add again because fuck, he’s not touching me and I want him to fuck me and it’s frustrating. He moved his tip down to my entrance where he slowly slid it in and I whimpered. I whimpered I felt the familiar stretch of his cock  as it entered  me and I adjust – I’m so used to his cock – and I relax completely, well as much as I can, because I trust him and he makes me feel so good. He gripped my hips with both of his hands as he slowly slid into, giving me time to adjust. I locked my legs around his waist and he smirked at the way I was reacting to the pleasure he was giving me. His hands were gripping my hips but then his other hand went to pet my thigh after he buried his cock completely into me and holy shit, I see stars in front of my eyes, across his face and it’s so good, so good. Everything’s so perfect, and the lust in his eyes is everything I’ve ever wanted to see. My hands held onto his shoulders as he pounded into me, then my fingers laced through his hair at the top and back of his head. Then he stopped I whined. Then I removed my hands from his hair as he sat up.

“Ride me,” he smirked and winked as he laid down. I rolled my eyes at him as I got and got on top of him. I hovered above his cock, he ran his tip teasingly between my wet folds making my body shudder in delight then rubbed the tip of his cock against my clit then against the place I needed him the most. Then he held it there as I began to slide down on it. He grabbed my ass and helped me sink down onto his cock, the feeling of him inside of me was incomparable to anything I have ever felt in my entire life. His length was slowly stretching my walls, and the tip of his cock brushed places inside of me that I had never even dreamed of being touched. I slid down all the way and I whimpered because he was so deep inside me. I began bouncing on his cock then he randomly thrusted up into me and he continued pounding up into me, hitting my g-spot because he loved it when I lost control.


“Ugh daddy,” I whined, as his is rapid thrusts brought me closer to my orgasm third orgasm. “You feel so good inside me.” 

Then he stopped and made me lay down, and I wrapped my legs around his waist so he could stay inside me. Both of his hands went to clamp onto the top of the head board as and he began pounding into me harder. He was groaning with pleasure as his name was a chant on my lips. He bent down to kiss me and I bit his bottom lip and pulled on it before letting it go. He hissed and thrusted harder into me .From how hard he was pounding into me he was literally fucking me into the mattress. Then he let go of the headboard and he held onto my hips as the head board hit the wall repeatedly but we were so lost in the pleasure we were giving each other to care.

“Daddy!” I screamed I felt a rush as my orgasm took over me. He groaned as he thrust four more times into me as he came inside me. His body shook as he gasped for breath, sweat covering both of us.

He laid on top of me and we laid there in silence for what felt like forever as we tried to calm down from our orgasms. He sat up and slowly slid out of me and his cum spilled out of me. I groaned because of the emptiness .He laid down between my legs, his head rested on my chest and I carded my fingers through his hair. Then after a couple of minutes of sitting in silence he sat up and let his hand cup between my legs and I whimpered. He rubbed over my clit and I tried to clamp my legs together but he bent his arm to prevent that. He slid his fingers down and pushed two inside of me and I shook as I bit my bottom lip and I looked up at him. He thrust two fingers in and out of me he had his thumb rubbing at my clit and I whimpered. Ashton was switching from watching my face and watching where his hand was between my legs. It didn’t take long for me to come a fourth time and he was sure to take his time dragging his hand away from my center. He leaned forward and kissed me and I kissed him back. He broke the kiss and he smiled down at me as he slipped between my legs.

“Give me time to recover Daddy.” I groaned from exhaustion.

“You’re not tapping out on me are you love?” he breathed and I shook my head no.

“I just need time to catch my breath.” I smiled up at him.

“I love you.” he smiled.

“I love you too.” I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. I was just about to doze off when I felt him kiss my neck and I groaned at him and rolled over onto my side.

“Don’t fall asleep I’m not done with you.” he whispered.

“Wait what.” I said. I was exhausted from the things we did earlier.

“I’m gonna flip you over and pound into that tight little pussy.” he breathed against into my ear then lightly spanked my bum. I looked around the sheets were ruined, and pillows were all over the floor but I knew that would happen the moment we walked through their front door earlier.Ashton grabbed a pillow and put it under my hips and I sighed. His lips connected with my shoulder and I moaned. I felt the tip of him against my sensitive entrance and I shivered before he was sliding in. I sighed when he bottomed out inside of me and my walls clenched around him and his hands came to rest by where my arms and torso met. He began slowly thrusting into to help me.

“Daddy.” I softly moaned.

He started off with slow shallow thrusts before he started picking up his pace. He was moaning, and he moved one hand onto my lower back making me arch my back and lift my ass a little bit more in the air.

“Princess you feel so good.” moaned Ashton.


I sobbed against the sheets when he began thrusting faster and harder into me. All that could be heard was the sound of skin slapping together and our moans. Then his hand slid down to start rubbing at my clit. I was so sensitive and I came pretty quickly, and I clenched around him. But he didn’t stop. He held onto my hips a bit tighter and pounded harder into me causing the headboard to slam against the wall. I sobbed against the sheets from the overwhelming pleasure. I could barely even form words as he ravaged me.

“Please daddy make me cum-.” My sentence was cut off when he pulled my hair and pulled me up to his chest and pounded me harder. My moans turned into screams of pleasure. Then he grabbed my arms and held them behind my back and he moved one hand to hold onto my neck, as he pounded into me relentlessly.

“Yeah take it” he moaned into my neck. “You’re such a good girl for daddy.” he moaned into my neck kissing it. I breathed harshly and bit my bottom lip before gasping for breath when he let go of my neck and hair, my face and torso fell back onto the mattress. My knees were barely holding me up; I was shaking, I was so close.
He kissed me as his thrusts sped up, his orgasm was approaching .I could feel his hard cock throbbing inside of me and I whined into his mouth. He slid off the bed and stood at the edge for more stability. I screamed and arched my back and he smirked down at me. I choked on his name as he moved a hand down and moved his hand to rub my clit. I clenched down on his cock as another orgasm was approaching. “Don’t you fucking dare,” he growled into my ear, “I’m not down with you yet.” I called out through the room as he attached his lips to my neck again, biting down on it and sucking, running his tongue around the spot. The bed was hitting the wall harder than it had done all night His hands were latched into the headboard above my head and he was using it as leverage. Rough. That’s all I could think. But it still wasn’t rough enough.

“Harder,” I begged in a whisper and he obliged by letting out a dark chuckle and then holding onto the headboard so hard that his knuckles turned white. He rammed into me once, so hard that my arms gave out on me. I was flat against the bed, face down, unable to hold myself up any longer. I cried out and then he started a sloppy rhythm that had the bed shaking and beating the wall with such force that I feared it might come apart at the seams. I buried my face into the pillow and screamed. He let go of the headboard and his fingers dug into my backside again, pushing down on me, he slapped my behind hard, growling. He was almost completely parallel to me, his fists bracing him under my arms, and shoving into me so hard that I was sliding up the bed. He clawed my behind with his fingernails, growling loudly through the room like an animal. He groaned about how tightly I was squeezing around him.  I heard his breath hitch, his arms shook hard as I felt his warmth inside of me and he bellowed out through the room, growling out a loud, “FUCK!” I felt his first stream of release sputter inside me. The wild animalistic groan he made triggered my orgasm. A long shaky breath left my lips as I came around him coating his cock in my arousal. His filthy words filled my mind all at once adding to the intensity. He fell to my back, pushing my hair away from my neck and the side of my face and showering me with gentle kisses.

My face is planted on one of the pillows, my body sore and pussy hurting. He slips out of me with ease, and rolls off of me and lies next to me on his back. He’s pushing his fingers through my hair. I giggle a bit, I’m tired and I want to sleep.

”Fucking hell”, he breathes. I’m looking at his side profile. He has his eyes closed for a moment but he sighs and opens them to turn his head to look at me. We share a satisfied look and he laughs happily, out of breath.

“I’m exhausted”, I mumble. I’m so close to falling asleep.

”Yea”, he agrees. Now is not a good time for talking. He grabs me and pushes me against his side. His soft and warm skin is the last thing I remember before I fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: This is my first piece of writing ,so i hope its good. Thank you so much for reading! <3 :)

Nazz’s Weight

In a flashback scene from Every Which Way but Ed, viewers were shown that Nazz was once chubby.

This did not change at how the cul-de-sac kids thought of her. They were enjoying their time with her and laughing with her when she made the cannon ball into the lake. This is so heartwarming. Seeing how the kids maliciously treat the Eds its nice to know that they’re accepting towards someone who is physically different then them.

Although Nazz was having fun and was smiling, was she really happy?

It’s implied that this episode took place in the last year seeing how the kids look younger. 

One of Nazz’s favorite past times is physical exercise. She likes aerobics, gymnastics, playing baseball, sports, dancing. Nazz was able to get into a better, more healthier mindset from doing things that she liked.

The reason I say a healthier mindset is do to my head canon that Nazz’s parents divorcing had a bad affect on her.

Whenever we see Nazz eating she gobbles down food so quickly. Nazz used to stress eat for some time and lost control of her weight. The kids may have known what was going on and helped in every way they could.

Kevin is her biggest supporter. He hardly remembered that Nazz was once chubby. The reason why Kevin and Nazz are so close is due to how they both have divorced parents and they relate to one another. He helped Nazz during a difficult time in her life to gain a more positive mindset, and body.

Nazz’s journey with her weight is important to her character. Nazz was an underwritten character who deserved development and a backstory. And to show this in a way that was not mocking or insulting anybody is so beautiful.

 Ed, Edd n Eddy payed close attention to the serious moments on the show. They showed their viewers what friendship was. It never mattered what you weighed to have a friendship. Everybody can be different. The messages are always a blessing to learn from this series.

Bruises, part 6 : Looking at you makes it harder

Word count : 1039

Author note : I know that it’s slow, but I want to take my time for that story. Also, I think I’m failing at making it a drabble series. Domestic violence is not normal, don’t let that happen even once because it’ll happen again, run away or go to the police or call special numbers for domestic violence.

Warnings : Tony being a worried big brother, I’m not even sure that this is a warning.

Song of the title : Already Gone, Kelly Clarkson

Masterlist

Bruises masterlist 

Part 5



Originally posted by xborntobemybabyx

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anonymous asked:

What motivates you in Life ?

I wasted my 20s getting drunk, failing out of college twice, dropping out of grad school after my first year, and losing job after job after that. 29 was spent playing video games essentially all day and staying at home. I called in a lot. I was super depressed. I fucked up a lot. Earlier this year after my break up and right after my rediagnosis, I decided to start writing again. I lost an entire decade because I was too drunk or depressed to listen to myself and what I really wanted to do. So what motivates me in life is my writing. It’s the only thing I have total control over and it seems to be helping people.

I’ve lost all control of my life to the swap brothers. It’s even bleeding into my other favorite AUs. Oh well. Have a ReaperSwap design~

Reapertale belongs to @renrink

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Today marks my 1 year surgiversary of my #verticalsleevegastrectomy! Those who are not familiar VSG is surgery to help with weightloss. A large portion of my stomach was removed & helps me feel full faster. This surgery can help you lose weight but will not instantly cure your obesity. It’s the push you might need to help change your lifestyle. Eating healthy foods. Working out, using portion control are a must after weight loss surgery. You WILL NOT lose weight if you don’t follow directions! My beginning BMI (body mass index) was 47.9 & it is now 31.8. I have gone from 288 lbs at my highest to 191 lbs. I have lost 97 lbs! I am not where I want to be but I am closer than I have ever been in my entire life! This journey has saved my life, and has helped me make so many new friends. I am eternally grateful! Thank you ALL for motivating me and pushing me to become a better version of myself! I couldn’t have done it without your support!

anonymous asked:

I have a fucked up GI tract and since I've been eating healthier, I've felt a lot better overall. Like my GI tract still seems like Satan set it on fire. But I feel lighter and not as sluggish. I could never do paleo. But I started eating veggies instead of grains at lunch and I've lost ten pounds. I watch my calories, sugar content of food, and portion control everything and let me tell you, it has made life a lot easier.

It’s surprising how much changing your diet can help you. You might want to try the Fodmap diet which is a 2 week elimination diet for IBS suffers and then you slowly introduce foods again and figure out which foods cause GI troubles and which don’t. I’m sort of trying that now. Some foods are hard to digest for people with digestive issues so limiting or avoiding those ingredients/foods can help alleviate problems.

Just Stick With Me

You comfort diablo when he runs home after a horrible mission incident occurs.

Warning: Profanity usage.

▪️▪️▪️

There was the slamming of a door and lots of crashing. You run out of the kitchen to see what’s going on. He’s kicking stuff over, pulling all the pictures of you and him off the wall.

“CHATO!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!”

He turns to you, his eyes bloodshot red, tears streaming down his face. There’s a pain in your chest. You begin to walk over to him.

“Stay away from me! Please!” He begs you.

“W-what happened Chato…”, you know something terrible must have happened. Taking a few more steps towards him, he screams at you again. You flinch.

“I SAID STAY AWAY FROM ME!!”, his hands light up. His voice cracks, “I KILLED TWO”, his voice cracks again, “TWO INNOCENT PEOPLE TODAY.” He hands his head, his fire dying out on his hands. “Two innocent people, mom and daughter.” You hear the cries escape his lips, sobs wracking over his whole body.

You run up to him, “baby it’s okay. Please, just talk to me.” Your arms wrap around his strong frame, you can feel him shaking.

“I…I can’t keep doing this. I can’t stand this” he cries in the crook of your neck. You rub his back. Only imagining the pain he was feeling, flashbacks of killing his girlfriend and kids a few years back. “I lost control babe.”

You sigh, feeling his tears fall down your shoulders. “Please don’t, don’t beat yourself up over this. You have devoted your life to helping people, and sometimes mistakes happen.” You rub his back.

“But, but they shouldn’t. I don’t want to kill nobody. I’m tired of hurting every time I cause pain to somebody that didn’t deserve it. I was doing so good amor, I-I hadn’t hurt nobody, then today, I got pissed, and I couldn’t control my powers. And, and they were too slow and I was too fast. When I saw it happening I snapped out of it immediately, but it was too late.” You feel him getting hotter.

You rub his back, tears filling your own eyes. You hated when he hurt, he had changed his life for the better, and you couldn’t stand when he talked badly about himself the way he did.

“Baby, you save people everyday, risking your life for them. You can’t beat yourself up over this. We are going to keep working on helping you control your powers. You have been doing so good, my love.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t risk it, I can’t hurt other people, and I can’t, I can’t lose you, but I don’t want to hurt you either. It’s like I’m stuck battling these demons in my head and I just…I don’t know…” he holds you tighter.

“You are not going to lose me, and you won’t hurt me. I know you won’t. I am going to keep attending every training session for your control with you. I’m going to be right by your side, because I love you. I can’t lose you either, I won’t give up on you. You have come so, so far. Please, I believe in you. I need you to believe in yourself”.

He nods, standing up. You wipe his tears from his face and he does the same to yours. “I love you, please, just stick with me until I get this right”

You lean forward, taking his soft lips onto your own. “I will, forever and always.”

Gettlefish
  • Anontisemite: Whether or not you're willing to admit it, whether or not you even realize it, you are oppressed. I mean look at the ridiculous dress code, being forced to cover everything from toes to hair, just put on some pants already and don't wear long sleeves when it's too hot, it's not healthy! Being forced to be a housewife and bear children, you're living like it's 1950. You are supporting patriarchy and holding back feminism by adhering to a patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: I’m being oppressed by dressing how I want you guuuyyyzzzzz…. :( I don’t know how I stand it.
  • Also, literally nobody is making me get married? I’ll get married and have children because that’s what I want out of life, but those aren’t the only things I want, for crying down the sink! My ambitions won’t end the moment I get engaged, because I’m an actual human being, not a weird cause for you to champion without my say-so. Get lost, I’m not interested.
  • Anontisemite: Look honey, it's not your fault that you don't recognize your own oppression but you and other women like you need help. Religion is merely a farce created by men to control women. The feminist cause wants to help you, that's what we're here for. Of course you think you're husband will let you chase your ambitions once your married but that's not how religious marriage works. You'll be nothing but a trussed slave and that's a tragedy.
  • Gentileproblems: Can someone please tell Jacob he is oppressing me he still hasn’t messaged me back and I’m thinking this is to do with our horrible patriarchal religion.
  • Arothejew: Jacob! Young man, what do you have to say for yourself
  • Jacob-the-pianist: I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white, I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white
  • Anontisemite: Oh you poor girl. I hope one day you'll realizing how vile and silly the Jewish religion is because you need help. You could have such a full, happy life but instead you've confined yourself to misery and you don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: 1/10 trolling try harder next time
  • Anontisemite: I assure you I am not trolling, I want to help you and women like you. I have no problems with Jews but I do have a problem with Judaism and organized religions that inherently oppress women.
  • Gentileproblems: Kay sure… how about you help by listening to us, rather than fighting for us? I’m not feeling particularly oppressed, here. Are you?
  • Gentileproblems (general): did anon seriously think sending me anonymous messages telling me my entire culture was Wrong would make me want to convert? Oh, goyim…
  • Satirenon 1: breaking news an anti semitic anon has caused jews everywhere to decide to be atheists OH NO IT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE *all memory of anything relating to judaism in my life is suddenly gone and i am now a free un oppressed woman*
  • Gentileproblems: oh, teach me your ways, un-oppressed one! is there hope for one such as me, comfortable in her religion and proud of her people? or will i have to moulder in the cave of deluded yidden… only time will tell.
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, I don't want you to convert. I want you to be a secular, free independent woman who doesn't rely on a misogynistic culture of lies and rules designed to keep you oppressed. Surely deep down you realize organized religion is a farce created by men? It's so obvious. If you weren't tied to a backwards culture that didn't allow women education you'd be able to comprehend better. I'm so sorry, please learn to accept help when it's extended. That is what feminism is here for.
  • Gentileproblems: white feminism has reached its zenith
  • Anontisemite: I am not certainly not antisemitic, I do not hate Jews, I want to help their women. What I hate Judaism, Islam and any organized religion. They are forms of misogynistic, systematic oppression.
  • Gentileproblems: 'I'm not raaaaaacist, I just hate these two heavily racialised religions…'
  • Anontisemite: though i too was once proud of my religion and my people i have seen the light and become a truely liberated woman 100% of anti semitic feminists agree that it is the right course of action so let go of the misogynistic tethers of religion and truely free yourself from your harmful self oppression like i did
  • Gentileproblems: assimilate and let go of your culture i a random anon know far more about it than you do
  • Satirenon 1: HELP THE SECOND STAGE IS HAPPENING I FEEL MYSELF BECOMING KNOWLEDGEABLE I NOW UNDERSTAND MY WROOONGS OH THE LIGHT OF SEEING THE WORLD FREE FROM THE HORRIBLE LIES THAT RELIGION TOLD ME I NOW AM EDUCATEEED
  • Gentileproblems: at the third stage, you ascend to a higher plane of existence, like on the original Stargate show.
  • Commentanon 1: i hate judaism but im teeeechiiincally not anti semitic right? -actual quote from the anon
  • Gentileproblems: i know, like how do you even rationalise that what even
  • Anontisemite: I am not antisemitic, I am antireligion. All I want is to end the systematic oppression of women inherent to Judaism and Islam. It is my life's mission and one day I hope to save all of the women like you, women who trapped and hurting and don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: Did you know Judaism and Islam are the only perpetrators of misogyny ever? GREYFACE TELLS ALL!
  • Commentanon 2: oh g-d of course anon doesnt include christianity just islam and judaism yet somehow aren't anti semitic or islamaphobic right? anti religion yet only against the two religions with the most hate and violence directed towards them? totally just looking out for women right?
  • Gentileproblems: i know, right? noooo bias there, no siree….
  • Anontisemite: You can still be a Jew, you can eat bagels and gettlefish and all of that, but you should be able to wear regular clothes without having rocks thrown at you, have intercourse without needing to do it through a cloth with a hole, not be forced to live separately from other people once a month. It's barbaric. Help me help you. Help me help women like you. This is going to be my career, rescuing the downtrodden women of archaic religious cults.
  • Gentileproblems: Okay, this is actually genuinely offensive. Where on Earth did you learn about Judaism, Stormfront? For G-d’s sake, choose another career at the very least- nobody will want to be rescued by you.
  • Commentanon 3: These anons today are even more ludicrous than last week's neo-nazis. Seriously talk about being so "open-minded" that your brains fall out and your mind closes again behind them.
  • Gentileproblems: Tell me about it, I have a permanent look of disgust etched onto my face by now.
  • Commentanon 4: Don't let them bother you. That one is literally a xtian-atheist religious missionary. Just treat them like you would any other xtian missionary.
  • Gentileproblems: 'Nope, I don't want your holy book… I've already got one…. it's vintage…'
  • Commentanon 5: wtf anon and ur stiiiiill not anti semitic? i'm waiting for what exactly anons definition of anti semitism is or does it even exist since how can you oppress someone who wants to oppressed or whatever they are trying to say jewish women are doing
  • Gentileproblems: it’s a horrible, horrible journey of ‘not antisemitic i swear’ and i can’t get off
  • Satirenon 2: I want to be offended but all I can focus on now is gettlefish. Seriously. GETTLEFISH
  • Gentileproblems: It’s like kettle crisps mixed with gefilte fish, I assume.
  • Commentanon 6: anon is just jealous of the way i work this super cute skirt with my bright colorful tights and that my marriage will be more emotionally fulfilling because it's not about sex all the time (it's also been proven that because a husband and wife can't have each other sexually all the time they appreciate it more when they do)
  • Gentileproblems: Oh my gosh, talk frum fashion to me! And I’ve never heard of that second point- I shall Google at once!
  • Commentanon 7: is gettlefish like non kosher gefilte fish?
  • Gentileproblems: I think this is one of those things that ‘everyone knows’ about Jews except for Jews
  • Commentanon 7: oh like hanukkah trees? (always spelled that way because fuck the original hebrew spellings lets at 2 k's for the hell of it because goyim)
  • Gentileproblems: yep, that’s totally A Thing, because judaism is christianity in a funny hat.
  • Anontisemite: I don't know what Stormfront, I'm a New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist. As I've already explained to you I am not antisemitic or islamaphobic, I am anti-Judaism and anti-Islam. Goodness, I wish you were allowed an education where they teach you these things. I don't have a problem with the secular women and I want to help the poor souls who are 'religious' (rapped). It's the men I take issue with, for forcing girls with potential into little more than slaves.
  • Gentileproblems: Rapped? Did Tupac put you up to this or something? And good grief, that first sentence is the most white-goy line I have ever read.
  • Satirenon 3: help i think i actually got second hand white goy from that first sentence im dying
  • Gentileproblems: do you have a weird urge to get a backwards hebrew tattoo? we’ll find a cure, i swear
  • Satirenon 4: Before your anon I was living my life as a poor, oppressed woman, trapped by the men in my life forcing me to observe archaic rules. This, despite the fact I am a baalat teshuva who was inspired by women and doesn't actually have any men in my life. Not married and absent non-Jewish dad, but they're both oppressing me quite a lot. Thanks to the anon I've realized I can again be free. I will give up my meaningful and beautiful culture that I love. I shall eat gettlefish and run wild.
  • Gentileproblems: The sarky responses to my anons are the actual best thing. And seriously, someone needs to come up with a recipe for gettlefish, pronto.
  • Satirenon 5: for gettlefish you should first go to your local store and pick up a few things, gefilte fish, matzo ball mix, latke mix, bagels, lox, chopped liver and cream cheese (just to make sure it isn't kosher). Now go home, and get out a very large mixing bowl and put all of the ingredients into it and mix thoroughly. Place in a large casserole dish and bake until crispy and then eat because it is the single most jewish food in the world according to goyim, add some bacon if you really want to
  • Gentileproblems: That’s so disgusting I dare someone to make it
  • Satirenon 5: make it and send to the anon
  • Gentileproblems: Where do I send it? The Castle of Denial?
  • Commentanon 8: I literally can't stop laughing. They probably mean to write trapped but I prefer to think they put 'rapped' in parentheses because they want everything in that sentence to be rapped out loud as you read. Break it down now, rap about helping the poor souls.
  • Gentileproblems: lay me some tasty beats, jumblr. “I don’t like your people but I’m not racist, I swear…”
  • Satirenon 6: I think your anon is magic. I was a happily oppressed religious women but then I read everything she wrote and
  • suddenly the world is new, suddenly I am new. My curly hair became straight! My skirt disappeared and was replaced by skinny jeans! I don't know if I can handle all of this freedom yet though, not without a man to guide me. Change me back, oh powerful saviour anon! I'm not ready!
  • Gentileproblems: Please, we need you to be our white saviour! Oh, whatever shall we do?
  • Commentanon 9: What the actual fuck is a "New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist"? Is that a thing?
  • Gentileproblems: Apparently so… oy.
  • Satirenon 7: HELP! I chose to practice modesty by covering my hair on holy days and I think I've oppressed myself! Already men are making me little more than a slave although I have an education and so much potential. Damn my religious choices!
  • Gentileproblems: Gosh darn it straight to heck! Deciding for yourself how you want to be seen, how dare you! That’s for the New Age Christian Buddhist whateveritwas to do!
  • Anontisemite: I'm sorry to see that you and your friends have resorted to making fun of good intentions. You may not think you need my help but me and other feminists will continue fighting for you nonetheless. I promise that one day we will create a world where you can be free from the bonds of oppressive misogynist religious law and archaic cultural traditions. You are only using negativity to lash out because you fear change, as your religion has taught you. But change is good and it will free you.
  • Gentileproblems: ngl i laughed
  • Commentanon 10: I feel like calling you honey just makes the whole thing so patronizing like stop listening to that religion that tells you what to do, I'm going to tell you what to do instead.
  • Gentileproblems: i knooow! like they don’t even know me! it’s gross as heck frankly- but i’m glad my followers are finding it funny.
  • Satirenon 8: help though im a lesbian my religion is compelling me to marry a man and become his subservient wife saaavee meeeeee
  • Gentileproblems: Must…. resist….. anon’s interpretation…. of my religion!
  • Satirenon 9: Oh..oh my goodness, my magen david necklace was sooo tight and it was choking me but that anon magically broke it and now i can breathe thank g-d or wait am i not supposed to do that anymore
  • Gentileproblems: Thank Richard Dawkins, probably.
  • Satirenon 10: anon nooo even though my religion teaches to question our laws and to change with the times it is suddenly morphing into everything you say it iiisss
  • Gentileproblems: Anon is, in fact, Haruhi Suzumiya
  • Anontisemite: Laughing is only a defense mechanism but one day you will be grateful for our movement :). There is an ever growling movement of feminist women against organized religion like yours whose mission is to save women like you. We are very well educated about Judaism and your culture and we will help you to adjust to the modern world. Misogyny and systematic oppression of women through forced dress codes and throwing rocks won't happen to you, no one will hurt you. You don't have to fear change.
  • Gentileproblems: Seriously, who keeps spreading the idea that religious women can’t be feminists? This is frankly depressing, and why we need to educate goyim to free them from their horrible, misogynistic, blinkered ideologies :(
  • Commentanon 11: It's hard to be convincing when they're sending asks on Anon. Like that's the least personal thing you could do.
  • Gentileproblems: I know, eh? When it started, I was actually pretty sure they were that ‘women don’t need feminism’ blog from a couple of hours ago, but now I’m not so sure…
  • Satirenon 11: white feminist goy barbie, she talks! you pull her string and she spouts nonsense!! (idk if anon is actually a she but like you get my point)
  • Gentileproblems: I kind of hope so, actually, because think of how much more creepy and paternalistic it would be if anon was male.
  • Commentanon 12: As opposed to cultural Christian atheist Buddhism, which is entirely disorganized.
  • Gentileproblems: *sniggering* Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the Dalai Lama very much against converts to Buddhism?
  • Satirenon 12: I somehow seem to have put on a long skirt. Someone please send a secular white "feminist" to help me.
  • Gentileproblems: I keep thinking of that Monty Python skit, you know, with the peasant shouting ‘Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!’
  • Anontisemite: Honey, you're being silly! I already have an education because in out free feminist culture women are allowed to learn. You can do it too! And of course a religious women can't be a feminist, it's the exact opposite of feminist. Religion, especially Judaism and Islam, is the source of all misogyny in the world.
  • Gentileproblems: To be honest there are so many people mocking you in my inbox I thought this was a parody. I am still not quite sure. And.. so do I? Dad’s a university professor, and I got early admission to his uni- had my first class yesterday, actually- where I’m reading Sociology and History. Also, pretty sure a good definition of feminism is that women can do as they please, whatever that means to them.
  • Satirenon 13: It's all a lie! You've been taught lies your entire life! White goyishé feminists know more than you do about the tradition you were raised in again and again for the past 3326 years. Definitely.
  • Gentileproblems: No, what are you talking about, they skim-read a Rationalwiki article once! They’re totally qualified to tell me how to live my life!
  • Satirenon 14: I'm wearing a kippah and a mini skirt at the same time. I'm only have oppressed on my mothers side.
  • Gentileproblems: :D but oppression is passed down through the mother, donchaknow
  • Satirenon 11: yeah for all you know anon is a really creepy guy looking to harass jewish feminists and give feminists a bad name
  • Gentileproblems: yeah p much
  • Commentanon 13: thats religious misogyny at work, the only true feminist religion is spiritual christian influenced combined with a bastardized eastern """"spiritual"""" religion entirely divorced from from it's actual source and rules and replaced with new ageyness and a hint of racism :)
  • Gentileproblems: 'Hey, mum and dad! I'm rebelling against you by converting to a watered-down version of a religion I barely understand!'
  • Satirenon 15: *sighs* Now I have to go tell the three female Rabbis I know personally that none of them should have received an education, because a got on the intertextuality knows Judaism better than us
  • Gentileproblems: It’s such a drag being oppressed like this, no?
  • Commentanon 14: Wtf the fuck is "free feminist culture"? I'm laughing so hard. Also kinda offended that anon is equating education with knowledge. Like a lot of people can't afford college or have learning disabilities but they're their own people, fuck off.
  • Gentileproblems: anon is patronising as heck- go ask them, I don’t know.
  • Anontisemite: Yes, I see you and the many people mocking me on your blog but I really don't mind because I know that you don't know better. I'm not a man or looking to undermine feminism - why would you even think that? You're a bit paranoid aren't you? Feminism is about female freedom and my life is dedicated to helping women achieve that. Judaism inherently undermines female freedom and that is want to eradicate it and rescue women from it. It's not antisemitism.
  • Gentileproblems: Alongside Jews, there are atheists, Muslims, and Christians mocking you. Quit while you’re… well, I can’t actually say ‘ahead’, really.
  • Anontisemite: I don't mind the mockery. I have my cause my cause is you and your fellow oppressed females or Judaism. It doesn't matter if you think you don't need it, a feminist fights for the freedom of all women no matter what. You haven't been taught this but you are woman who has value. You deserve a life without men who shame you for existing and think you have no worth except that which comes forth from your womb.
  • Gentileproblems: but… you are the only one saying this… can you save me from *you*, please?
  • Satirenon 16: for $8000 a month i will stop oppressing myself anon
  • Gentileproblems: yes please anon pay my uni fees
  • Satirenon 17: I am a Jewish feminist am I causing global warming
  • Gentileproblems: I want to make a joke about Moses and rising sea levels here….
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, let feminism help you be truly free from the bonds of patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: we’ve been around a few thousand years, your patronising wheedling isn’t gonna stop that.
  • Commentanon 15: In all seriousness, what I find most fascinating about the anon is that for someone who claims to want to free me from those telling me what to do etc., she/he is telling me exactly what to do! For someone who claims to want everyone to be free, she/he is not allowing me the freedom to do what I want. In other words, hypocrites will be hypocrites.
  • Gentileproblems: Goyim gonna goy
  • Commentanon 16: Anon does know that Judaism is a matriarchal religion, correct? That women are revered and are incredibly valued by Jewish society?
  • Gentileproblems: what are you talking about religion is BAD forever
  • Commentanon 17: For all who are trying to say that she is not free while being Jewish is the worst thing you could say. Being free means she can choose what religion she follows. Also the Jewish faith is not oppressive I actually know a female cantor/rabbi who is amazing at what she does. You are being oppressive by telling her she can't be what she wants and saying that you are not being racist even though all your support is stereotypes and from the 1900's get with the time! Take this as a warning
  • Gentileproblems: Thanks so much, anon! I mean I’m opinionated as all heck, if I didn’t think i was being respected I’d leave, believe me.
Why I Write

There are several reasons why I write. The first is because it’s my ultimate passion; I love creating original worlds and characters, or writing my interpretation of already existing characters and expanding their worlds, or placing them in new and interesting scenarios. Writing helps me to drown out the rest of the world for a while, and has given me a sense of control at times where everything in my life seemed to be spinning viciously out of control, I’d truly be lost without it.

The second reason is because it gives me an outlet; through writing I can explore and really delve deep into personal issues. I can bring to light situations, events and experiences that have affected me and present them in a way that can sometimes give me closer, as well as potentially help someone else going through the same or a similar thing, or perhaps even give someone with differing views or experiences a different insight. I really hope to make some sort of positive change through my writing.   

And finally, the third reason is a purely selfish one. I write for validation. I have a deep rooted need to be acknowledged and appreciated, I’m not sure what that says about me. But I desperately need to know when I’ve done right and when I’ve done wrong, and there is nothing that makes me happier than either hearing how I can improve my work, having someone compliment it, or being told that it resonated with or moved them in some way. That’s definitely one of the best feelings in the world. 

So now that I’ve stated my reasons, I’m curious to know what other peoples reasons are for writing? Feel free to say so in the comments if you’d like. :)

Valkubus Fanfic Recs

x94

Title: The lies you fake

Author: Wayward Dreamer

Rating: M

Plot: When Bo is in dire need of healing, she finds an unexpected savior in everyone’s favorite stubborn Valkyrie, but things take an unexpected turn when feelings develop.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Out of the Woods

Author: SpicyCheese

Rating: M

Plot: What starts as a simple case, turns out to be anything but. And the woods reveal more secrets than anyone is prepared for. Set Post 4x08, but veers off on its own after that.

Status: Complete

Title: Once Again

Author: neffititi

Rating: M

Plot: “No matter what we do, there can be only one ending, the one that I was afraid of and running away from.” Set after 3x10, and will not follow the story in the show. Valkubus. Rated M for a reason.

Status: Ongoing

Title: By Your Side

Author: neffititi

Rating: M

Plot: - “ We all have to make choices.” - “ I choose to fight, by your side.” Set after 3x13. Valkubus. Rated M for a reason.

Status: Complete

Title: Losing Your Heart

Author: Caliber13

Rating: M

Plot: This story picks up right after the Season 4 finale. This story will be about Bo and Tamsin and their fight to bring Kenzi back from Valhalla. It’s going to be a Valkubus endgame but there will be Dyson and Lauren moments in it. The story is going to be about the fight to bring back everyone’s favorite Russian. Secrets revealed, with love, action, comedy and adventure.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Renewed, Reborn, and Ready

Author: Caliber13

Rating: M

Plot: This is the sequel to my first Lost Girl fanfic, Facing the Impossible. It picks up right where the first story left off. Tamsin and Bo bonded while expecting the first Valkyrie-Succubus baby in fae history, Kenzi as a fire fae and told she’ll need to pass her Dawning, and Alex (Tamsin’s little sister) has just been reborn. Adventures await the four in this new story…

Status: Ongoing

Title: Facing the Impossible

Author: Caliber13

Rating: M

Plot: This story takes place after Groundhog Fae in season 4 of Lost Girl. Bo wakes up dealing with the many problems in her life and decisions she must make. Tamsin has someone come back from her past to help the “Sunshine Gang” defeat the fight that’s rapidly approaching. This is my rendition of season 4 and what I thought would have been a great way for the show to go! Valkubus!

Status: Ongoing

Title: Resistance is Futile

Author: shipallllltheships

Rating: M Plot: Valkubus. Bo and Tamsin can’t control the tension between them and decide to channel it into something more fun. But they are determined to keep it a secret from their friends.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Little Games

Author: RiverAri

Rating: M

Plot: Valkubus. There’s no way to really write a summary for this story, as it will more than likely change periodically. Post 3x6 with no hearty drama, no Dawning, no Wanderer, etc.. Only difference, Doccubus has already ended. Rated M for the most magical of reasons in later chapters.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Every Inch

Author: RiverAri

Rating: M

Plot: When a ghost from Tamsin’s past shows up at the Dal with some interesting information, the Valkyrie’s world is thrown into turmoil. Will Bo be her savior as she takes on this difficult situation? Read and find out.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Demons Inside

Author: not4u2no2

Rating: M

Plot: Valkubus. H/C, OC. - Occurs after 3x13 Tamsin is punished for her insubordination to deliver Bo to the Wanderer/Odin. How will this affect her relationships with the happy sunshine gang? More importantly, how does this affect her relationship with Bo? Rated M in later chapters (after chapter 4) for a reason.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Broken Hearts and Broken Wings

Author: UnalignedSuccubus

Rating: T

Plot: Kenzi is very protective over her young Valkyrie and decides that she needs to have the ‘break her heart and I’ll break your neck’ conversation with Bo. Valkubus and more Valkubus with a side helping of Momma Kenz.

Status: Complete

Title: I Surrender

Author: UnalignedSuccubus

Rating: T

Plot: Grief affects everyone in different ways. Bo lost her heart, Dyson lost his friend, Tamsin lost her everything. To get Kenzi back Bo needs Tamsin, she needs her to fight. Can Bo make Tamsin realise that she’s not alone. My take on what should happen in Season 5, eventual Valkubus pairing.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Lost in You

Author: UnalignedSuccubus

Rating: M

Plot: Set around season 4. Can the Succubus and the Valkyrie finally put aside their fears and realise how right they are for each other? Valkubus endgame, if you don’t like it don’t read it.

Status: Complete

Title: It’s Not Enough

Author: Clloneclub

Rating: M

Plot: Takes place after 4x08; The first few times it happens Tamsin doesn’t mind, because it feels promising in a way, like maybe if they do it enough Tamsin can convince Bo to love her…

Status: Ongoing

Title: Asunder

Author: UberFaenatic

Rating: T

Plot: When Bo’s Dawning ends catastrophically, the most improbable member of the gang travels to the unlikeliest of places in search of the only person capable of helping make things right again. Valkubus. *IMPORTANT NOTICE* This story has been completed. I’m just working on a short epilogue and will post daily updates. I love reviews! So please comment if you like what you see. :)

Status: Ongoing

Title: A Warrior’s Bond

Author: InsertCleverThoughtHere

Rating: T

Plot: The past that Tamsin has been running from for nearly a century finally catches up to her and she has nowhere to run. Her worst nightmare is coming true and she’s forced to keep Bo away…even if it’s against her new nature.

Status: Ongoing

Title: A Dangerous Predicament

Author: Fangirloutlet Rating: T

Plot: Tamsin, having “betrayed” her orders to the mysterious “Him,” is met with multiple dangerous foes, finding solace and help in Bo. Includes interactions with the rest of the gang. Rated T now.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Tragedy Remains

Author: Shannen13

Rating: M

Plot: Follows straight after the end scene of 4x11. Valkubus is my OTP (their the main focus;development of their relationship will ensue in this fic) Hard to write a summary, kind of make it up as random thoughts pop into my head; so multiple story arcs that interlink. First Fanfic, please let me know what you think, feel free to rant. Rated ’M’ because of Chapters 13 and onwards.

Status: Ongoing

Title: where the ships of pine wood pass between the dark cliffs

Author: SweetandUnknown

Rating: T

Plot: “You are grateful you have not seen the black cloud again, but there is now a permanent weight in your chest. You wish Bo were with you because when she touched you, called you incredible, everything was lighter, despite all the heavy darkness inside that sits cruel and silent.” — one-shot, Lost Girl, Valkubus, post-'Goundhog Fae’

Status: Complete

Title: I Need Your Heart Beating (Next to My Heart)

Author: jhccl

Rating: M

Plot: Valkubus one-shot set directly after the events of 4x08.

Status: Complete

Title: Light and Dark

Author: firewings86

Rating: T

Plot: Bo goes to find Tamsin after the Yule party, figuring they’ve both got to sleep somewhere. Oneshot. Valkubus.

Status: Complete

Title: The River

Author: firewings86

Rating: T

Plot: Tamsin gets her memories back and Bo is the only one home to see her through it. Short, will probably continue later. T for future content. Slight references to my first valkubus fic but nothing too important. Eventual valkubus.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Red Leather and Blue Eyes

Author: radar7189

Rating: M

Plot: Tamsin centric fic. Tamsin’s backstory with Legend of the Seeker shoutouts, in the form of Cara Mason, in ALL her glory. (smut and s/m included). Many EPIC feels in mostly behind the scenes of S4 of Lost Girl. Leading to hilarity and adorableness in my version of S5, including lots of of EPIC Fluff-y Valkubus and sexy, sexy Valkubanging (SMUT).

Status: Ongoing

Title: The End of the Road

Author: UnalignedSuccubus

Rating: T

Plot: All her life she thought she knew just who she was, then someone changes all that. Can Tamsin fight through everything she needs to, keep everyone safe and return Kenzi to where she should be while finally letting go of everything that has held her back? Valkubus

Status: Ongoing

Title: Feathers

Author: Chrmdpoet

Rating: T

Plot: "I’m not sick,“ Tamsin told her, sighing. "I’m molting.” Bo froze at that, her face scrunching and her mouth moving wordlessly for several seconds. “O-oh,” she finally stammered out. “Um…like a bird?”

Status: Complete

Title: Unexpected

Author: VanillaVice

Rating: M

Plot: Set in a post-apocalyptic world, the Fae and humans alike must learn to survive in a world full of the undead. Tamsin, a lone valkyrie, is surviving just fine until she encounters Bo, a succubus with quite the appetite. Valkubus. May or may not incorporate other characters from the show in the future. Rated M.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Lost In Desire: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9204426/1/Lost-in-Desire

Author: girlblue81

Rating: M

Plot: The evolution of Tamsin and Bo’s relationship after Bo finds out Tamsin’s true intentions. Can they ever be together? Told from Tamsin’s point of view.References events from episodes 12 and 13 of Season 3. Valkubus.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Shattered: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10984724/1/Shattered

Author: UnalignedSuccubus

Rating: T

Plot: Set after 507. Possibly strays into M on language but nothing else. This was a one shot, but a lot of people asked me to continue, so I did.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Where Are You?: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987070/1/Where-Are-You

Author: alkyrie

Rating: M

Plot: Set two years after Season 5x07. This is me torturing Bo because of her decision to hurt our baby Tammy. Valkubus endgame eventually. First fanfic! Give it a shot :) ENJOY! Rated M for language teehee

Status: Ongoing

Title: Something Far Beyond Myself: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987164/1/Something-Far-Beyond-Myself

Author: Chrmdpoet

Rating: M

Plot: Her hands clench in and out of fists at her sides, her palms beginning to bead with sweat, as the shock and tension of the moment leak rapidly out of her body and leave nothing behind but the frigid and frightening reality that Tamsin is gone, gone, gone. “What did I just do?”

Status: Ongoing

Title: It’s Never Enough: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10987403/1/It-s-Never-Enough

Author: Rachxfacex94

Rating: M

Plot: Tamsin is trying to deal with the heart break. Post 5x07

Status: Ongoing

Title: When Valkubanging Leads To A Baby: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10264992/1/When-Valkubanging-Leads-to-a-Baby

Author: BNewfang

Rating: T

Plot: Almost 2 months after a one night stand with Bo, Tamsin starts to feel sick and instantly knows something’s up. Little does she know she’s about to be thrown into a situation that she never could have predicted. Somewhat of a slowburn fic. Eventual Valkubus and obviously Valkubaby.

Status: Ongoing

Title: My Love, My Life, My Warrior: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10990712/1/My-Love-My-Life-My-Warrior

Author: Restless Goddess

Rating: M

Plot: Season 4 AU set before “Groundhog Fae.” The Wanderer has rallied an ancient force that threatens all Fae, Light and Dark, and plans to strike on the day that the veil between worlds is thinnest. Tamsin, meanwhile, is forced into a choice that only Bo can make. Valkubus endgame.

Status: Ongoing

Title: Out of the Dark: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10294210/1/Out-of-the-Dark

Author: The Decent into Chaos

Rating: M

Plot: This Valkubus fanfic is at the request of a reader. It begins at the start of S1 E1 of Lost Girl when Bo is captured and taken to The Ash’s compound. After being examined by Lauren and learning what she truly is, Bo is again taken to be given The Test, to choose a side. While waiting in custody, The Morrigan visits Bo to get her to join the Dark, and this is where the story begins.

Status: Ongoing

My Only Love

Originally posted by negandarylsatisfaction

Pairing: Negan x Reader
Word count: 1,454
Warnings: Smut, oral

Part 3 of Violent Desires Meet Violent Ends


There was this unspoken agreement between the two of you that neither of you would speak your real names. As if keeping them a secret kept this alive, like uttering them would shatter this…whatever this was.

You found yourself falling for the rugged man in leather, gone from Alexandria more and more. When you were back, you heard the whispers. Rumors of people causing trouble for people out scavenging for goods. You’d never had an issue, so you brushed it off.

Slipping through the broken fence, you smiled to yourself. Your last couple meetings had been cut short, just before you could truly enjoy him. This time, he promised you all his attention. Said he would threaten them if they bothered him for any reason.


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