help i cant stop wont stop

borderline nightmares

- message delivered
- message read
- when ur fave “needs space”
- when ppl pick on u for being dramatic
- when u just gotta
- explaining splitting to nt friends
- anyone finding ur journal
- when ppl ask why youre “copying them”
- when ppl ask why you are “so clingy”
- when ppl say they will listen and stay and ur like o god i know it isn’t true but u still end up believing the same bullshit
- when u cant help but forgive people who have pushed u passed ur boundries and fucked u over
- when u cant feel
- when u can feel
- when u wanna disassociate but ppl wont stop talking to u
- when u cant stop disassociating
- disassociating during lectures/class/tests
- “tell me about yourself”
- “whats your sexuality?”
-“ha! every1 does that… ur normal dont WORRY”

fixed the ask for u anon, since you made such a silly mistake 😘😘😘😘😘

whispers if u like slow build zutara with a+ character development, a side of azula that will make you shriek (with joy) (also rage), and a hella engaging plot, you should read once around the sun 10/10 would cry over again

Any do ppl not believe me when i say putting a band aid over my finger wont help me stop picking the skin like,, cant they just stop it and leave me alone

I mean i really appreciate the concern and i love knowing ppl care, especially bc i make my finger bleed really often, but when i say i dont want to put a band aid on my finger, i mean it. I shouldnt be required to explain that i have dermatillomania and have had it since i can remember. If i mention the word ill have to explain its a mental disease that makes me pick. Its a habit. I dont want to do that.

And i shouldnt have to explain more than “i’ll pick at the band aid”. They should leave at that. I dont want to say the full reason because i dont want to. I shouldnt be forced to say i wont put on a band aid because it makes me extremely anxious in multiple ways.

And sure im self conscious about picking, but if it keeps my anxiety and ADD at bay im going to do it. Im not going to put on a band aid.

Deep Down

Deep down she knows the truth. She has always known it. Thinking back it may be the underlying reason she tempted herself with the past. Her thoughts are interrupted by the clicking of Donna’s Jimmy Choos.

“Fancy meeting you here- again” Rachel sniffs.

Donna takes a seat next to her friend. “You know Harvey had to do that, he was…. Look, Harvey has this ability to just shut off and not see you as a person anymore,” 

“Donna, I get that. I do, but this… this is different.”

“Different how?” the usually fiery red head asks.

“I get it now.”

Rachel turns to her; waiting to see Donna’s intuition come to life. Instead she finds a blank look, so rehearsed it looks almost plastic. She sadly chuckles to herself softly as the truth settles in her bones. “You already know don’t you?”

“Know what? Rachel honey, I cant help if you wont…”

“Stop. Just stop. I can see it all over your face. I know that you know that Harvey is in love with him.” Donna doesn’t move. 

“Truth be told I think I knew it  too somewhere deep down. But I was never more sure than I am now. When he asked me about being faithful about what happened with Logan. That wasn’t a ploy, that was personal.”

Donna stays silent, hoping her mask is still firmly in place. How can she tell her friend that Harvey has been in love with her fiance’ since the moment Mike walked into the interview room. Of course being the idiotic man Harvey could sometimes be, he couldn’t even admit it to himself until last year. Even now he wont act on his feelings despite the fact the puppy loves him just as much. 

“But I love him Donna..” she sobs, tears once again falling from her eyes.

“I know you do sweetheart, and he loves you too” Donna coos taking the woman in her arms. And she knows she isn’t lying. Mike does love Rachel, but it’s nothing compared to the feelings he has for Harvey.

“But its not the same. I mean have you seen the way they look at each other. Like they are each others whole world. Mike never looks at me that way. Donna…”  turning to face her friend,  “…what am I going to do?”

“Right now, you are going to get up and get cleaned up. Don’t make any decisions this moment, there will be time to deal with this after the trial is over. Right now, he needs you.” 

Donna watches her friend go knowing that no matter what happens next, the die has already been cast. Sometimes love is fleeting, other times it has a long shelf life. Then there is love that grows in ways unimaginable; one that is tempered by fire; solidified through pain, and strong enough to withstand any odds. That’s what she sees when she looks at Harvey and Mike. Donna smiles to herself in the mirror and makes herself a promise. When they get through this, no matter what it takes, no matter what happens next, she is locking them both in a closet until they come out with some damn sense- preferably engaged.

So I know it’s just a number that doesn’t really mean anything but gosh dang it if I’m not super happy that over 1000 of you want to stick it out with me and my art. Thanks so much guys, it’s been an awesome journey so far and I’m just getting started! Shutout specifically to @gastrictank @zoestanleyarts @rollingplunder @bonecoke @ianoquinnzel @2d-dungeon @kaitlynmarieart for being cool pals that have helped me feel like I’m part of a real awesome community. Thanks for making me feel welcome guys!