I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving
home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t
anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas
and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise,
especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything.
Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time,
sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay
anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user
flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they
are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and
independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different
things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly.
Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your
plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation
carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money
to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include
‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond
(usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and
arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with
flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too –
getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t
like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather
than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking).
Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their
best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for
help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left
home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care
system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden
transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and
government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation
and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents,
call one of the associations below for information, advice and
Where to get help
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because
of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses,
such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
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Since I`m a kid,I wake up in the middle of the night every day. I told my parents but they said it`s nothing. What`s wrong with me?
Hi there lovely anon :)
I can understand where you’re coming from. As a child, I would have major issues sleeping (I still do). I’ve got some tips for you on sleep in general and some different ways you can help yourself fall and stay asleep plus some links :)
How to improve sleep:
Listen to calming music- Having music in the background is helpful because it allows your mind to flow into the music while you drift off to sleep.
Sleep medication- Talk to your doctor about prescribing you a natural sleep medication if you are having severe instability to sleep.
Calming scents- Having calming scents in your room
such as lavender or vanilla are helpful because those scents ease the
mind and are very nice to smell.
Comfortable temperature- If your room is too hot or
cold, it can be hard to sleep and find that just right stop. I suggest
having a fan in the summer time that can blow cool breeze at you, and in
the winter have a heater or have a plan to wear more blankets.
Limit distractions- When you’re trying to fall
asleep, having things around you that can be distracting, its best to
move those things out of the room or turn them off. You could put your
cell phone on the counter instead of your nightstand so you are not
woken up each time you get a text.
Comfort items- Having stuffed animals or blankets
can help improve your sleep because when you have those items, you feel
comfortable and in a safe place which is a must for a good nights sleep.
I have some general advice on how you can cope with having nightmares and some more links for you:
Create a playlist of music that relaxes you. Keep your music
player on your night stand so that it is available when you wake up.
Keep a journal by your bed. When you wake up, write down everything
you remember about the nightmare. This will help to focus you on a
task and distract you, plus you may start to notice trends. Writing
things down can be highly therapeutic.
As with most sleep disorders, try to keep a regular sleep-wake
cycle. Get up at the same time every day, go to sleep at the same time
every night. Having a routine before bed is important as well, as it
prepares your brain for sleep.
Reserve your bed for sleep only: no watching TV, texting, or using
your laptop.Regular exercise reduces stress and releases endorphins, and
can reduce your night terrors.
Once you’ve looked over those links (I know there are tons, but I like to go above and beyond)
Anyways, below are some general tips on how you can fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer:
Get the number of hours of sleep each night you need to function optimally. Although it varies, most individuals need between seven and eight hours of sleep every night.
When sleep-deprived, you are less efficient and focused during the
day, and may be leaving yourself open for health risks as well. Research has shown sleep
deprivation can affect appetite, weight gain, diabetes risk, the
strength of your immune system and even your chance of developing
depression. If you have been trying to get by on less sleep, try backing
up bedtime by 15 minutes each week, until you are getting the amount of
sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed in the morning.
Create a calming atmosphere in your bedroom.
If your room is cluttered with work, books that have not been read,
papers to attend to, and dirty laundry, it will be a constant reminder
of all you need to do. Take 15 minutes each day and begin clearing the
clutter and making your room one you will look forward to relaxing in at
the end of each day.
Make your bed in the morning. A straightened bed is so much more appealing to go to at night then one that is a jumble of sheets and blankets.
Reserve your bed for sleep and sex only.
This will allow your mind to associate your bed with rest and
relaxation only. Watch TV, use your computer, talk on the phone, and eat
Create a calming nighttime ritual.Turn off your computer, shut the TV, and do not answer your phone for
an hour before you want to go to sleep. Choose activities you find
calming. Take a warm bath, read a magazine or novel, have some
decaffeinated tea or cookies and milk.
Keep your bedroom cool at night. For most individuals, 65 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit will allow the dip in core body temperature you need to induce sleep.
Avoid caffeine in the later afternoon and evening. Caffeinated coffee, tea, soft drinks, chocolate and sugar-laden snacks can all keep you too wired to fall asleep at bedtime.
Avoid late night workouts.
Exercise is a great sleep aid, but a vigorous workout too late in the
day may keep you up at night. However, a leisurely walk after dinner
could be just the thing to calm your body and mind.
Avoid alcohol and spicy foods in the late evenings.
Although a nightcap may help you fall asleep, you will probably
experience fragmented sleep, and find yourself wide-awake within a few
hours. Steer clear of spicy foods or anything you know causes you
heartburn or gastric distress.
If an evening party or
celebration finds you consuming wine or cocktails, drink plenty of water
throughout the evening, and keep a water bottle by your bedside. This way, if you do wake up dehydrated, you will not need to get out of bed.
Spend a few minutes creating your “to do list” and preparing for the next day. This will allow your mind to know everything is ready and your morning will be calmer as well.
Keep a pad and pen by your bedside.
If you wake in the middle of the night, and your mind is racing with
thoughts of things you neglected to do, or need to get done, writing
them down will release your mind from worrying about forgetting in the
morning, allowing you to drift back to sleep.
If you have not fallen asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and find a relaxing spot to read.
Do not use your technology or watch TV, do anything that requires brain
work, or look at a clock. Any of these will stimulate you and increase
your anxiety. As soon as you feel sleepy, return to bed.
Go to bed and get up at the same time every day no matter how much sleep you had the night before.
The closer you can keep to a routine, the more your body will recognize
and respond appropriately to your bedtime and wake up hours. Don’t
attempt to make up for lost sleep during the week by sleeping in all