help a bro out guys

Dustin:“By the way, thanks for helping me out Gordon.”
Gordon: “Sure thing, bro. Took you guys long enough.”

Dustin: “I think my mom wasn’t ready to… I don’t know, let it go, I guess. But she still tears up every time she looks at it. It’s… not okay.”

Gordon: “Still, you could have hired someone, bro. Having to do this yourself… It’s a bit harsh, man.”
Dustin: “No, it has to be me. Man of the house, you know.”
Gordon: “Whatever, bro”
Dustin: “I just hope it’ll cheer up my mom.”

Gordon: “And if it doesn’t, Gordon knows how to cheer up lonely ladies. If you know what I mean?”
Dustin: “What did you say?”

Gordon: “Hey man, calm down. It was just a joke.”
Dustin: “Shut the fuck up! Don’t you dare talk that way about my mom!”

———————–

Head canon:
 The reason why Gordon King and Dustin got into a fight. 

Egobang sickfic

Lowkey egobang, 1,800 words (ish)

Dan is sick, Arin comes over and tries to make him feel better


Arin’s phone vibrated in his pocket in the middle of the breakfast aisle. He let the cereal he’d been holding fall into the shopping basket on the ground, and fished his phone from his jacket, looking at the screen. It was a text from Barry. Huh. Wasn’t Barry supposed to be heading to the airport right about now? He opened it up and scanned the display.

[text:BarryKramer] Hey man, can you check in on Dan? He wasn’t feeling good when I left & I’m worried

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advice of the day: Yooooooo so if a girl that you’re interested in ever asks one day “Hey this guy asked me out what should I do?” do not fear you shit, because 93% the reason is because she wants you to say no. DONT SAY “YEAH YOU SHOULD GO OUT WITH HIM"thats a red flag bro, LIKE I KID YOU NOT dont do THAT. SPREAD THIS SHIT AROUND, HELP SAVE A LIFE.

exo reacts to someone thinking you're a guy

Suho:

“Dude, watch where you’re going!” a guy angrily looked back at you as you accidentally brushed your shoulder past someone. It was a crowded street, so there wasn’t much space to walk around. “I’m a girl, you dweeb!” you shouted back, insulted as ever. Suho pulled you closer to him and just looked at you for a while, “I don’t get it, why can’t they see you’re a girl? You’re definitely not a guy. What an asshole, that guy.“

Luhan:

“Hey man, awesome shirt.” a guy tapped on your shoulder and you turned around, thanking him. “yeah, thanks! It’s my favorite.” you smiled at him and Luhan eyed him suspiciously. “Oh- you’re a girl. Wow.” the guys eyes widened before a look of disgust appeared on his face. Your jaw dropped and you looked to the side to see Luhan sigh, “yeah, she’s a girl, mate. Look at her beautiful face, you’ll see it immediately. And those are boobs on her chest, thank you very much. Goodbye.” he grabbed your hand and took you away from the flabbergasted guy.

Kyungsoo:

“Hi, hey, long time no see!” you greeted your old friend from high school as you were at the reunion. Kyungsoo had tagged along and he nodded at your old friend and shook his hand. “Y/N? Manly Y/N? I can’t believe it, some things never change. And now you have short hair, who could’ve thought.” your old friend laughed loudly and you tried your hardest to keep on smiling, although Kyungsoo was clearly glaring at your friend because he knew all about your stories from high school. “I think you can better shut up now, yeah? My girlfriend is beautiful in every way, short hair suits her nicely and she is as womanly as one can be.”

Sehun:

“I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe it.” Sehun said for the hundredth time that night. “Oppa, it’s alright. I’m used to it, believe me.” you gave him a half sad smile and cuddled into him and he shook his head, “but it’s not alright! You’re the most beautiful girl I know and he just blatantly insulted you on the spot! In front of all the members!” Sehun’s eyes widened, he just couldn’t believe it. You’d been walking around with all the members and a guy thought you were a guy. “And that’s why it was good that I had twelve boys with me. You all took care of him.” you smiled happily as you remembered them shouting at him to go away.


Baekhyun:

You were out for a meal with your friend and Baekhyun and the current topic was your friend liking a girl but she was sure that she had no chance. “I assure you, she’s single and you’re probably her type.” you tried to cheer your friend but she wouldn’t have it, “yeah, you have it easy, you look like a guy so surely she’d like you.” your friend glared at you and you were taken aback. Baekhyun who was sitting across you was looking angry by now, and he almost choked on his food. When he swallowed his food, he stood up. “Alright, we’re leaving. That’s utterly disgusting of you to say, what kind of a friend are you. And let me tell you, the girl wouldn’t like you if you act like this.” he nodded at you and you stood up too, both of you leaving your friend.

Lay:

You and your friend were having an argument and Yixing was secretly eavesdropping as he could practically hear everything because of your shouting. “I just gave you my honest opinion about that dress, you wanted me to come so that I could give my opinion, I did and now you’re upset! If you wanted that dress so badly you could’ve just bought it.” you yelled at her, pulling at your hair and sighing. “Oh, you want me to tell you everything that’s wrong with you, huh? Let me start by telling you that whatever you pick, it’s boy. You look like a fucking boy. You might as well be one if it weren’t for the obvious parts!” she screamed back at you and Lay finally turned around the corner, “wow. You call yourself her friend?” he said to your friend and she shot him a look, “stay out of this.” Yixing stepped closer towards you, wrapping his arm around your back, “no. This is my very pretty girlfriend you’ve just insulted. I suggest you apologise.”

Kai:

You were live on the V app and you were having the best time of your life with your boyfriend. You had some free time and you suggested that Kai opened it since well, fans would love it. So you did, and you were currently reading all the comments together. “Y/N and Kai, so cute!” you read one and you smiled at Kai, “thank you haha” and Kai read one too, “Y/N is such a boy- oh wait.” he stopped in his sentence, and checked it again. “Yeah, that’s what it says.” you reassured him, your smile fading a little but never really. “Alright, whomever is posting these, please stop. If it weren’t for Y/N, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place and by the way, she is definitely not a boy. Look at her pretty face, beautiful.“

Tao:

“Dude, see that chick over there? Help a bro out and be my wingman, yeah?” the guy sitting next to you on the bar suddenly asked and you turned around to look at him since Tao was busy talking to Kris who also tagged along. “Uhm, excuse me?” you found yourself asking, did he think you were a guy? “Oh fuck. You’re not a guy, are ya?” the boy asked for assurance, and you shook your head. “Man, you look like a guy. No offence.” Suddenly, Tao turned around behind you and placed his arm around your shoulder, “who are you calling a guy here, pal? Get a life, it’s pathetic how you’re hunting on girls like this.”

Kris:

“These people are so mean to you, I don’t understand.” Kris noted as he was reading through some fan letters he’d received. “Wait, they’re writing about me?” your eyes widened, shouldn’t they write about him, though? “Yeah, well.. Forget it.” he took it back and you raised your eyebrows, “no, what are they saying?” you curiously grabbed the letter from Kris’ hand and your eyes scanned the lines, describing why you looked like a guy. “Oh, that’s- nice.” you frowned, your spirit going down by the second. “Hey, Y/N, don’t believe them. You’re nothing like a guy, yeah? See, guys don’t have these.” Kris joked, squeezing your boob and you smiled a little, “thank you, oppa.“

Chen:

“I honestly couldn’t have guessed that you were a girl by the way you look, you know? I mean, your face is manly, your hair is manly, I guess your body isn’t but still… I swear you could be a guy in another life, you get?” this guy who was standing next to you struck up a conversation with you, much to Chen’s dismay and this was the final straw. He’d been taking away the time from your date night and now he was insulting you too? Nuh-uh. “And that’s coming from someone like you? Please look in the mirror first before you insult my girlfriend. Have a nice day.”

Chanyeol:

Chanyeol knew something was wrong when you came home and all you gave him was a small ‘hello’, nothing like your usual greeting. You went straight to the bathroom and he followed you suit, wanting to know why his girlfriend was sad. “They might be right,” he heard you say through the door, “I do look like a guy. Look at me. Ugly.” you muttered with a heartbreaking voice, and it shattered Chanyeol’s heart. “Jagiya, open the door.” he silently said and he heard you gasp, “Jagi, please. You don’t look like a guy. Those people are wrong and mean and bad people. You on the other hand aren’t. Now open the door so that I can kiss you like the beautiful girl you are.“

Xiumin:

“Ugh, you’re so ugly. I can’t believe you’d walk around with a face like yours. You look more like a guy than a girl.” you were waiting for Xiumin to bring the drinks you’d ordered, and now this guy was bothering you because you’d just rejected his plead for a date. You couldn’t believe it. “How desperate are you? Please stop bothering me.” you sincerely asked him once again and he chuckled, “trying to act girly now? Ain’t gonna work.” you sighed and were about to reply when you heard a voice coming from behind you. “She told you to stop bothering her.” you heard Minseok and with a sigh of relief you looked around and smiled at him. “And by the way, I can definitely assure you that she is a girl, and a very pleasing one too, if you know what I mean.” Xiumin shot the guy a look and you giggled, slightly patting his shoulder but also sending him a look of gratefulness.

anonymous asked:

Cofee Shop AU where Stiles works as a barista and Derek is a regular who he thinks is "a hundred times hotter than the coffee we serve" or so he gushes to his best friend

ahh okay so stiles works at a cute little coffee shop that’s on campus and it’s actually a great job too. the owners are friendly and it pays decently and the coffee is good and they have the best pastries anyways its a great place and stiles loves working there. 

it’s a fairly small place so they get a lot of regulars and stiles knows a lot of them by name and even knows their orders at this point and they don’t get too many new people which is why stiles is speechless when mr.tall dark brooding and handsome walks in one morning. 

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