helmet jokes


Heith Week Day 6: Colors

Paintball team AU: They refuse to give up until someone is completely encased in paint

anonymous asked:

could you do a hc's for reddie and stenbrough going out on a double date?? :)

(i know @eddiekasp will like this so! enjoy meggie!)

ok so the date they decide on is going to the batting cages in the early evening. this is because bill and richie both have always had convoluted dreams of being baseball superstars- baseball is, of course, america’s favorite pastime, right?- and eddie and stan just want to sit by and watch their boyfriends hit shit around, though they know they’ll still get roped in

before they even go to the batting cages, they go to a cute little diner stand next to the cages and get hot dogs, listening to the hollow twang of balls against metal bats and chain link fences and the low, gruff voices of the batters as they themselves talk quietly about school and how they’ve been doing, bill with his arm looped around stan’s waist, richie with his around eddie’s shoulder. they both occasionally stop talking to whisper to their partner or turn the conversation onto eachother, but for the most part, it’s richie using stupid voices to help bill explain to the other two how batting cages work (mostly eddie, because he’s never actually played, but stan has only ever been a catcher and outfielder, so he doesn’t pay attention to batting either).

once they get there, bill goes to buy the tokens. he laughs and smiles and talks to the pretty cashier a little too much for stan’s, who is watching from a bench, taste, and when bill gets back he scowls at bill until the redhead apologizes jokingly and hands him a helmet and bat. richie jokes about it to eddie, saying how eddie would never get as jealous as stanny does, because hes more sensible and he’s not such a birdbrain, get it, eds? birdbrain? because stan likes- never mind, eds, you’re no fun

finally, at long last, they get in the cages. eddie and stan are voted to go first, and richie bustles into eddie’s cage to fix his posture before they start. he lifts eddie’s elbows, moves his feet, and, slyly, puts his hands carefully on eddie’s hips to push them down, so eddie bends his knees a little. eddie slaps at his hands and richie laughs, keeping his hands where they are and kissing a very red eddie on the cheek. eddie tells his to get out and makes as if to hit richie with his bat, and richie shrieks in his southern debutante voice about being a polite lady and how gentlemen should never hit ladies, until eddie ignores him and asks bill for his tokens

bill, meanwhile, is talking through stan’s stance- he knows stan hates being  manhandled, so he just stands behind him and kind of directs him in a soft, almost sweet voice. stan listens perfectly and tries to imitate all the things he saw other batters do as well on the diamond, and bill congratulates him with a kiss on the head and a little shoulder pat. stan glows with pride, and asks to start at the same time as eddie.

and then they’re off- stan’s pretty good, because after all, he’s got the reflexes of an angel, and eddie’s… well, eddie is less than great. he hits balls, sure, but he really struggles for a while, and he yelps several times when the balls catch him off guard, since he’s talking back to richie, who’s doing a mix of heckling and encouraging his poor boyfriend as he hangs off of the outside of the cage. bill watches stan in satisfaction, mostly enjoying watching stan bounce around and try to catch stray balls, but occasionally giving him little reminders to keep his arms up and get on the balls of his feet for this, too. 

the tokens run out, and this time richie runs to get more, and he divvies them up between him and bill, bill lets him smack them into his palm, knowing richie is excited to show off, when richie proposes a competition- whoever hits more balls by stan’s count gets to give the other a forfeit. bill, knowing how shit richie is under pressure, agrees, assuming he’ll win automatically, and they start. bill stops to comment on how big stan’s hair got, since his own heat had frizzed it up under the helmet, and stan scowls again, before bill smiles it away like he always does and steals the helmet and bat. richie just bops into the cage and plucks the helmet and bat away from a very tired, very excited to watch eddie,  who goes to sit on the bench next to stan so they can watch their idiot boyfriends compete for their favorite prize- being able to humiliate the other.

and bill does start off strong- he gets almost all of the balls on the first token, which is around twenty balls, with richie close behind. not very close, but close enough. stan, who’s holding the tokens, hands them out again, smiling at bill softly and telling him hes doing great, and eddie does the same for richie. both of the batters smile and thank their little cheerleaders, and bill slips stan his jacket. richie teases bill for it over it, asking if hes so out of shape hes already hot from just twenty rounds, which eddie chastises him for in a hushed voice. richie just grins and pretends to apologize, and bill gives him a fleeting response, saying, “sure, yuh-yuh-yeah, rich, just shut your truh-tr-trap and pl-p-play.” 

and play they do- they’re almost tied, until bill seems to start slowing down- a miss here, a miss there, until all the tokens are eaten up, and richie has won the pirze of choosing a forfeit. he goes easy.

all he asks bill to do is tell stan the grossest secret he can. 

bill makes a face and so does stan, and richie cackles as he usually does when he’s just caused a problem, and eddie punches richie in the arm before grabbing his hand affectionately. he apologizes to stan and bill for richie’s being a dumbass, and he leads his still cackling boyfriend to their car, waving at the two before speeding off.

richie and eddie end the night with late-hour ice cream- they buy two cones with the intentions of having their own, but end up sharing, like always, they get the rocky road and the cotton candy, and take turns licking them until they’re gone as they hold hands on the roof of richie’s piece of shit car. they kiss on the roof once more, before sliding off and getting in the car to drive slowly, reluctantly home, full of promises to see eachother tomorrow and talk on the phone later. richie drives home, radio on full blast, smiling to himself about how nice eddie looked and how often he made eddie laugh- once every five minutes, not too bad- before he reaches home and hops into bed with the same shit-eating grin.

bill and stan linger a little longer on the benches, talking in murmurs until all the lights shut off and they share a secretive, long kiss under the cover of darkness before running back to the car. they drove around the skirts of town a little, laughing at the bad news channels running 24 hour headlines and imitating the grainy voice, before they start driving back into town and bill drops than off after he ruffles stan’s curls and gives him a “stay safe, babe,” and lets him out. stan waves at him from the window until he’s out of sight, and flops back on his bed, sighing long and loud as he thinks about all he and bill talked about. bill does the same once he gets home, and they both fall asleep with their thoughts full of eachother and the day and love, practically so strong that they have hearts dancing around their heads.

the whole town seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as the four all fall asleep.

its boys are safe sound asleep once again.

always safe.

Roman Goddesses: Bellona

Salvete mihi domo est. journalisticRoman, and today I would like to talk about one of my favorite Roman goddesses: Bellona. Bellona is the Roman goddess of War, Destruction, Conquest, Blood-lust, edgy teens, etc. and who ever told you that Mars is the god of war: DOSENTFUCKINGKNOWWHATHEISTALKINGABOUTANDWILLGOTOTARTEROUSFORLYING.

gather around kiddos because I’m about to explain why this chick is fucking boss. First off her choices of weapons, she would switch between a Sword, Spear, Shield, whip, or torch. In fact in most deceptions of her by Romans the only piece of armor she would wear would be a Officers helmet. No joke. Her method of transportation would be a four horse chariot

Tbh she’s more tough than friggen Wonder Woman!

So moving unto her holiday. If you didn’t think that she wasn’t metal enough she has a special holiday called dies sanguinis (The Day of Blood (wait what)) On this holiday, special priests called Bellonarii would cut themselves and sacrifice their blood to her.

So stone cold. I love her!

Well thats all I have on the wonderful mistress Bellona until next time Valete et habere bomun die!

(P.S. Holy crud everyone took me on surprise with the last one. I think im going to start doing this regularly, until I get bored. Thank you!!!!)

Kobold, also known as the Pale Goblin. 


Request: Some smut with Officer Hale? In the clubhouse, police car or his office. Can be Jax’s sister? I would believe the club would not be happy to have her sleeping with Hale.

A/N: I tried! Never written anything with Hale so smut is slight! Hope it’s alright anon!😘

Being the daughter of Clay Marrow and Gemma Teller, the last thing they’d expect was for you to end up with a cop. When they caught wind I was with David Hale, they haven’t shut up about it since.
Finishing up my makeup, I grabbed my purse and headed out to the diner in town. Pulling into the parking lot I saw David leaning against his patrol car had me blushing, he was so handsome. I jumped out of the car and made my way towards him,
“Good morning honey” David said, greeting me with a long kiss.
“Hi babe” I say, getting on my tippy toes to reach his face, he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Come on babe, let’s get breakfast” David says, squeezing my hand as we walked towards the building.
“Follow me home quick?” I shyly ask David as we exit the diner.
“Of course, is something wrong love?” David asks me with concern his eyes. Truth was, I want some alone time with my man.
“Nope, just follow me!” I giggle as entering my car, David following me as I exit the diner.
Pulling into my driveway, David was right behind me. I walk towards his opened car door.
“So y/n is there any reason I needed to follow you home?” David inquires with a smirk on his face, his hand brushing against my thigh.
“Actually yes…officer Hale, I think we should take things to the backseat…you know I’m a criminal” I flirted, pulling up my dress. David eyes hungrily watched you get in the car and take your panties off.
David leaned in and start kissing me as hard as he could. Small moans escaping my mouth, making his member grow.
“Y/N what the fuck?” I heard a angry sounding jax outside the car, rolling my eyes, I got off David and got out.
“What Jackson?” I ask, Jax hasn’t seen you in seven months, since the night I told everyone I was serious with David.
“First off, do that shit inside. Second, you need to come with me” Jax says, going to grab my arm. David getting annoyed.
“Why Jax?” David angrily asked Jax who only rolled his eyes at what he said.
“Were on lockdown, you might be in danger. Clay don’t want you out here” Jax tells us, giving a faint smile.
“Are you serious? I can’t I have school, I’ll stay with David” I protested, David standing close by my side.
“Please just do this for ma and clay y/n, all I am asking” swallowing my pride, I looked towards David.
“You’ll be safe, yeah?” I ask, giving him a kiss on the lips, he nodded, handing you a phone.
“Always babe, call me if anything , and I mean anything happens” David demanded, and I nodded in agreement. Jax making a silent laugh. He could never take David serious.
“Look, I even got your old helmet y/n” jax joked while handing me my helmet.
“Jax, I love you but please accept David” I begged my big brother, getting on the bike.
“That’s a talk for another day.” Jackson said, driving off to the clubhouse.

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In Episode 3, when Obi-Wan and Yoda had to fight their way into the Temple, I wonder if it bothered Obi-Wan to kill the clones.

Think about it.

These were guys from the 501st: who knows how many campaigns he’s served alongside them? How did he push that thought away? This is directly before he discovers the true depths of Anakin’s descent into darkness, was he scared for him even as he cut down clone after clone?

Did he recognize the differences in the paint jobs, see familiar faces as helmets flew off, remember jokes they’d told as he beheaded this one, remember the time that one saved his life even as the life is draining from those signature golden eyes?

Did their faces haunt him in the quiet of the desert, in the loneliness of the Wastes? Did he see their faces 5, 10, and 20 years after their deaths?

I think he did.

I Hear a Studio Audience At All Times, and They’re Getting Creepier

This is going to sound like a farce, but ever since I suffered a concussion last summer, I’ve been hearing a live studio audience around me 24/7. The doctors reassured me they were merely auditory hallucinations brought on by the bump to my noggin, and that they’d eventually go away on their own once my brain healed. It was actually kind of funny at first. I mean, once I got over the initial shock and fear of hearing the unsolicited reactions of a bunch of strangers. They started off more entertaining than disturbing, but that balance eventually shifted, and I’m afraid of them now.

The very first time it happened was the day I was discharged from the hospital. It was a beautiful August day, and I was psyched to finally go out in the warm sun. Eric, my boyfriend, picked me up from the hospital to take me back to our apartment. I was in high spirits, despite a persistent headache, which had followed me since the bike accident. (Kids, wear your helmets!) Eric made a joke, and suddenly, a flurry of hysterical laugher came flooding in from every corner of the car. I screamed at Eric to turn off his surround sound system, covering my ears to drown out the noise, but the laugher only got louder. I could tell by the freaked-out look in Eric’s eyes that he hadn’t been playing a practical joke on me. Once the chuckles subsided, I explained what happened. Eric turned the car around and drove me straight back to the medical facility.

A brain scan, a few blood tests, and countless hours later, the doctors assured me it was a harmless side-effect of the concussion, and not a case of sudden onset schizophrenia, as I had feared. It was perfectly normal. Well, as normal as hearing a room full of easily-entertained spectators could be. They told me to go home and rest.

It took me a few days to adjust to the auditory hallucinations, but I eventually started to see the humor in my predicament. Meetings at work were a lot more entertaining, what with the peanut gallery projecting annoyed groans whenever my boss slipped into a boring tangent. I didn’t even have to secretly roll my eyes: the voices in my head were the perfect vessel through which I could express my innermost feelings without getting in trouble. At home, my captive audience laughed at each of my jokes, even when Eric failed to react to the punch line. When I went to bed, they’d “awwww” as I wrapped my arms around Eric, and again when my cat curled up between us for warmth. The voices even became a sort of early-detection system, warning me of unseen dangers through a series of suspenseful gasps.

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I saw the post by s17s17 and the-meta and had to make this happen.  If I ever draw Felix’s armor again, it’ll be too soon.

I couldn’t resist imagining the float up to get stuck to the dang ship.

For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about the earlier days of the WOY fandom, and we had some pretty good times IMO

  • Shipping characters before the show even properly began
  • Tons of creative ship names (skeleton dance, black eye, wandering eye) for like everything except Sylander
  • Wander, Sylvia, Lord Hater, Commander Peepers and Emperor Awesome being paired together in an infinite number of combinations
  • The term “star nomad” for Wander’s species (which was actually ascended to canon in season 2)
  • Everyone having star nomad OCs, or star-sonas
  • The rise and fall of Watchdog roleplay blogs (I’m honestly really glad they’re making a comeback)
  • The tragedy of Minnie the watchdog
  • Also everyone freaking out when a watchdog with the same name as her fiance (Teddy) showed up in an episode
  • Like 40 Peepers rp blogs
  • RP/ask blogs for body parts/props of random characters
  • I wish I was joking there were blogs for Sylvia’s mane, Hater’s right arm, Wander’s banjo (which I think people shipped with Hater’s electric guitar?) and Peepers’ helmet. Among others
  • Running jokes about the fandom being unable to handle hiatuses
  • Using the Galactic Greetings postcard maker in ways it was never meant to be used
  • Craig McCracken liking everyone’s fan art
  • Craig McCracken commenting on posts
  • Just Craig being awesome in general
  • People drawing fan art of random smears from the show
  • People drawing Wander as a terrifying, multi-eyed serpent because of this frame (that was on screen for a split second):

(I tried so hard but I couldn’t find any pictures of Wandersnake and I’m honestly not convinced I didn’t hallucinate all of them)

  • Lots of fake episode ideas (most of which were actually really good)
  • My personal favorite will always be “Wander gets a hold of Hater’s gloves and their evil magic starts to take control of him (a la Ice King) so Sylvia and a very whiny and powerless Lord Hater have to talk some sense into him”
  • A bunch of fanart for that premise
  • Everyone predicting Sylvia’s past as a bounty hunter
  • Fanfics of Sylvia having a bunch of older brothers and a dad who basically forced her to learn to fight
  • Surprisingly few origin fanfics for Wander
  • Dark!Wander
  • Wander and Hater role switch AU
  • Wander and Sylvia role switch AU
  • Tons of crossover art (mainly with Gravity Falls)
  • Horrible, horrible eye puns. Everywhere.

That’s all I can think of for now but by all means feel free to add to this (tbh I made this post specifically so I could remind everyone of Wandersnake)

Hobby: Looking for the fanciest helmets in Japanese history.

You have fancy stuff like Tokugawa Ieyasu’s helmet that looks less ready for battle and more ready for prom:

You have simultaneously iconic and madman stuff like Ii Naomasa’s helmet that had no joke, legit horns as long as his torso pointing upwards because he really needed to catch that TV reception in the middle of feudal combat:

And then you have outright Whatever Mom-tier stuff like Naoe Kanetsugu outright writing “Love” on his helmet, and by “writing” I mean forging a metal fixture of the character for “Love” and slapping that bad boy right on his forehead:

In Japanese feudal warfare, knowing was half the battle. The other half was fashion.

I Really Thought Everyone Did This Growing Up
  • Ralph (looking at the staircase in my childhood home): "When you were growing up, did you ever wish those stairs were a slide?"
  • Me: "Well, yeah, that's why we'd ride a mattress down them, duh."
  • Ralph: "You rode a *mattress* down the stairs? When?"
  • Me: "All the time. Like for fun on a Friday night...I actually thought everyone tried this at some point."
  • Ralph: "No, no--definitely not. My Dad would have killed us if we took the mattress off the bed."
  • Me: "Really? My Dad usually helped by taking it off in the first place."
  • Ralph: "And then what?"
  • Me: "And then the three of us held on while he or my mom pushed it down the stairs. It was awesome."
  • Ralph: "Did you wear helmets?"
  • Me: "Don't be ridiculous. We only wore helmets if we were doing it without the mattress."
  • Ralph: "So then how did you stop??"
  • Me: "With the hidden mattress brake. Ralph--we hit the wall and rolled off."
  • Ralph: ...
  • Me: "Sorry. We didn't have Nintendos."
  • Ralph: "You grew up in a movie."