hellstorm

Moses had a son named Aaron, who himself had two sons named Nadab and Abihu: They appear only briefly in Leviticus when Moses is showing the priests how to priest properly. Following the rules prescribed by God, Aaron slaughters some animals, cuts off the bits he’s supposed to cut off, lays the offerings down on the altar in the correct way, lights up some incense, and waits. God approves of the ritual and makes a big light show to tell Aaron that he did well, and all the priests celebrate a job well done.

Next, Nadab and Abihu do the exact same thing. Only this time, God instantly incinerates the brothers in a furious hellstorm right in front of their horrified father.

Now, there’s been a lot of debate among Bible scholars about what exactly Nadab and Abihu did wrong. Some have suggested they used the wrong incense (“Is that that pine bullshit? Nobody likes that pine bullshit!”), while others think they may have lit the fire wrong. Either way, Moses puts his arm around Aaron and basically tells him, “Yeah, your kids explode sometimes. C'est la vie!”

Aaron’s surviving children and nephews then have to bury the dead brothers, but Moses warns them to be doubly careful because if they make God any angrier by complaining, or even not combing their hair properly, he’ll probably kill everyone in Israel. Why? Well, you’ve guided all your Sims to the pool and then removed the ladder. You know why.

6 Bible Stories Where The Moral Was ‘Haha F*ck You, I’m God’