hellrens

#SayingGoodbyeAndReturningHome

The day I lost Wellsie and our young was the day I lost everything including my will to live. Finding her in our driveway inside her car all shot up broke me to a million pieces. My one job as her hellren was to protect her and I failed. Unable to face life without her I ran. I had not gone far from the brothers and perhaps that is why they did not come searching for me. They knew I was alive and nearby but they also knew I needed my time to grieve my loss. I knew now why the brothers had never mated before. Without a mate the brothers could focus on their purpose, defending the race against our enemy. The very enemy that had taken my Wellsie from me but without her I had no will to fight. I held onto her and refused to let go. I was living like a wild animal on the blood of animals and not a female of my kind. Of course this new diet did little in the way of nourishing me as it simply prolonged my mourning. Days turned to weeks and weeks had turned to months. I was feeling my end coming. I would be joining my Wellsie in the fade. Just as all was fading into a darkness there was a light, a blinding light. I thought my end had finally come for me but instead it was a burger toting angel. His name was Lassiter and he claimed my Wellsie had sent him. He told me all sorts of horrors about how our young had been lost to the nothingness because I was holding on and if I didn’t let go I would lose Wellsie to it as well. I didn’t want to believe him at first and then he had told me something only my female would have known. So here I was in the brotherhood compound once more. I was weak and too skinny, much like Z had been before he found Bella. I was saying goodbye to my Wellsie and letting her go. I was not prepared for the next part but it had to be done for the ceremony to be complete. I held onto Lassiter for strength and support as my brothers made cut after cut through my shellan’s name across my back. And with a final cut by Wrath it was done. I told the brother’s to go ahead to the feast, that I would be in shortly. I even sent Lassiter away so I could slip out the front doors and use the last of my strength to dematerialize home. I walked into the front door of the house Wellsie had made our home and collapsed on the floor.

The Serpent Divided/ Ahlexandra & Eric:

AHLEXANDA: {Those females were slowly poisoning my soul. ‘’Glymera does & don’ts.’’ ‘’Pearls 4U because you are worth it.’’ and no other than ‘’How to meet your hellren in 10 days!’’ popped in my head like a 4th of July fireworks. But instead of joy they spread chemical clouds. Along with a faint chant of ‘One Of Us. One Of Us.’

They wanted to recruit me into their inner circle and they wouldn’t stop until we became the Sisterhood of the Glymera Pantihose. With matching SGP t-shirts.

They all smiled at me with perfectly brush painted red lips, chatting my ears till blood oozed out of them. While one of them kept pouring that dreadful hot piss of tea in cups that worth more than my kidneys in the black market. Disliked them and the tea with the same passion. Had to keep in mind why I was here, replay the cassette ten times per minute just to make it from one smile to the other. Was here for the greater good of ‘The Ouroboros’ company, for ‘The Hand Of hope’ project  and for my family. Having the glymera on our side was crucial.

All those fine reasons didn’t stop me from wanting to SCREAM. And while at it to plant my heel into their chilli black hearts. Had to replay the cassette one more time, remind myself that this was business. And I had to do my part as one of the three owners of our company, despite the dread in my heart. I screwed on tight my smile, and, kept talking about the duck green egg color Louboutin reinforced into the fashion world, hellrens the same as age as methuselah and what would be next week’s meal plan. With every month that passed, I felt more and more lost in an ocean of formalities. A life that was passing me by while I was entertaining guests, put on dresses that were prettier to look at than wear because of how tight they felt and hide deep under the make up my darkest desires. Slowly becoming what my soul despised most, a ragged doll ready to perform whenever she was asked to. This wasn’t how I wanted to live my life}

I need a little retouch. {I excused myself to the restroom, when the clacking sound of heels reached my ears I locked the door for good measure. I as the King needed our privacy when it came to bathroom activities. Phone to ear, BEEP BEEP} C’mon Blondie, pick up. {Muttering I turned on the faucets, just in case anyone was eavesdropping}

‘’Hey, wats up, still alive I see.’’ {Eric sounded cheerful. And why shouldn’t  he be, I was the one trapped with the heins not him}

I don’t care what you do or who you are doin’ it with. 15 minutes. Or I am running out. Bye. {Ended the call, washed my hands and wished I had ten Xanax to help me throughout this social convention} Oh, God. {Gasped as Rehm’s child bride shellan smiled at me. She had been waiting for me right outside the bathroom. A blonde over polished gollum. Never thought of myself as somebody who suffered from anxiety. Guess there is always time to develop new brain crises. Barbie, faked an apology for why she was there, wrapped her arm around mine and like a slave dragged me back to the living room}

‘’I am so glad to finally have you with us Ahlexandra.’’ One said.

‘’We must have called you a thousand times.’’ Then another.

‘’It must be so boring to be kept behind a desk like you are.’’

‘’You must not deny our next invitation. Look what a lovely time we are having.’’ Bla bla bla bla. Their mouths kept going, and as it appeared mine too. Because they kept smiling at me and the conversation didn’t die.

After thirty minutes my hope of salvation suffered a painful death. There was no sign of prince charming fang coming to my rescue. One by one the females started to raise, it was time they pretended to eat, with impeccable manners they would chew 40 times a tiny piece of lettuce. Push around food with silver cutlery, count the drops of water; because even an excess of water could be fetale with the too tight dresses they had pushed themselves into.

To not own the latest Birkin, when you were part of the glymera-female-clique was a sin of omission. To be fat on the other hand…was simply unacceptable and you could NOT sit with us.

I wanted to scream, now more than ever. Run for dear life and never look back. Pressed play on the cassette, again and again. It was so easy to forget as the bell jar of anxiety kept creeping up on me, like a pendulum above my head, lowering and sucking up all the air, until it completely box me into a life that I didn’t want to be part of. Each one of us had to pull our weight; Dreadh leaded the company, Eric the security and I was the prime and proper face of The Ouroboros.

Smile. Breath. Smile. .don’t slip now, 50 years will go to waste if you give up now. Think how hard you all have worked to get here and how many sacrifices. .

Had it always be this warm? I unrolled the beige, probably egyptian cotton, napkin and dabbed the corners of my mouth with it. Had a sip of water, the four pieces of arugula  had felt more like a stone in my stomach. Regulated my breath, showing weakness afore them was like dangling a steak in front of lions. Deadly in both cases}

ERIC:  [Eric was about to deal with the King Monster himself and the fucking ticking bomb inside his head wouldn’t shut up. Something wasn’t right with Ahlex. She was bossy lady 24/7, nothing shocking in having her call him to come pick her up. But that ping of despair in her tone and her latest working obsession were unusual. Surely she loved her work but she wasn’t the work.

Nowadays, she would finish at the company, go straight home where locked herself into the office and keep working throughout the daylight hours. Skip first meal, be the first and last to leave the The Ouroboros headquarters. Repeat. The only breaks she seemed to take were those awful events were the company needed to be represented. Which weren’t much of a break if he was honest. Eric and Dreadh lingered in the shadows, far from the glymera, while Ahlex was dealing with the aristocratic plague. And lately something was eating her up. He should talk to her.

He would, once he had five free fucking minutes to do so.

ZeroSum with its the black on black sign erected from the ground. Eric’s dear diary moment was up. He parked the car in front of the club and got his ass out. A female spoke into her watch. Xhex, Eric thought. If his homework was as correct as always, this six feet tall amazonian female with  jet-black hair must be Xhex.

‘’Right on time.’’ Dark gray eyes hovered as he walked through the club’s doors. ‘’You won’t mind if I give a little pat pat all over once we are in, yes?’’ Before he could even issue an answer, long-strong-fingers did what she had said. Eric let her do what Rempoon paid her for. The faster they were done with this the better]

‘’Anywhere else you have to be?’’ Her dark brow arched.

Where is your boss? [Eyes locked for a second before she led the way. Security in this place was as tight as the pentagon’s, consider him impressed. Behind a massive desk was sitting an even more massive male. The Reverend of Caldwell resembled what humans called, The King of hell]

‘’You flattery me.’’ [A smile that was more shark than anything else. They had been talking of nothing else for a fortnight. There was no more time for beating around the bush] I know that are a symphath. And I am sure you already know why I am here for. [Rehvenge motioned him to sit. To elaborate further before he snapped all the bones in his body. There are two types of anger. One is dry and the other is wet. Eric, suffered from permanent dry anger. There were no tears for him for the past that couldn’t change or the future that was so uncertain. Tonight was just an episode 3246 of a show named ‘’Things going to hell.’’ And at the end of it you didn’t get what you deserve you would get what you had fight for] If you have any doubts when I am done talking, break all my bones. [So Eric started to talk, you couldn’t hide from a symphath, even if you tried. Once on his radar the game would never again be in your favor. He explain who they truly are. Why they had come to the new country. How Ahlex had found that piece of paper, in Rehm’s house, that claimed the truth about Rehvenge Rempoon. And the on truth Eric betted all his money on] The male was tailing Ehlena. He’s in our house basement.

AHLEXANDRA: {The doorbell rang while the doggen served strawberry panna cotta. A gorgeous dessert that would go back to the kitchen untouched, such a shame. Mine at least would have the honor of being eaten. Annette, Rehm’s oh so not lovely shellan, got up to properly greet the guest. Or as in this case, guests. My spoon stopped mid air to my mouth as trio stougers walked back into the dinning room} ‘’Sorry, sweetheart. Traffic.’’ {Eric leaned and kissed the top of my head. While my eyes and everybody’s else were fixed on no other than Rehvenge Rempoon. Only Annette seamed to be eyes glued on Eric} It’s okay. We just finished.

‘’Ladies.’’ {Rempoon spoke up and my dear brother followed. Charming the shit out of the stepford wives. Closed my eyes for a second, processing everything that happened in my life. My twin lost in his own world. Eric and the bastards. A male chained up in the basement of our house. A revenge that was similar to a very long engagement. And now Eric with a symphath. The bell jar lowered further, suddenly I couldn’t breath, gripping the hem of my dress. The need to scream crawled back as the room started to spin like a broken carousel. I wanted down of that damn thing. Better said I wanted my life back} ‘’Shall we?’’ {Opened my eyes, one moment we were at the table and the other we were standing at the open door, coat on, Eric’s hand wrap around my waist waiting for me to…respond} Yes, of course. {And like that the most unconventional trio disappeared into the night}

Do we have to keep him caged like an animal, Eric? {My lips twitched and curled in their own accord. Whilst my hands felt desperate to clutch the pearls I never wore.

Conversation between Eric and Rehvenge was flowing like a river in springtime while they were monitoring the hostage. Which the two males would soon torture. Another typical night in the Ouroboros house.

Eric with a click zoomed in, four big screen shed their lights, Michael was chained. Steel heavy manacles at his arms and legs} He’s a male of our race and we are about to . . {Couldn’t finish my words. What would happen in that room wasn’t far from what had happened to us all those years before}

‘’Would it help your conscience if the male was a criminal?’’ {Eric’s golden brows perked upwards silently as Rempoon addressed me} ‘’This isn’t the time to pity anyone, Ahlex.’’ {Eric added.

The spoken words were sharp enough to make me draw in my cheeks. Rehvenge had a point. Eric also had a point. He never did something that he didn’t absolutely have to. And yet it didn’t change the fact of what we were about to do. It wasn’t my hand that would do it but I felt equal parts guilty and shamed}

Actually it would. {Took a sit  into a chair and crossed my legs} How a male like you didn’t figure out he was being followed? {Perched my glasses on the forehead, eyes still focused on the monitor}

‘’What makes you so sure the male was tailing me?’’ {Our eyes met, no malice or anger in his voice. Rehvenge could be Mona Lisa with his thin smile right now. Then again even the angel of death was silent and pleasant, that didn’t mean it wouldn’t kill what he had came here for}

ERIC: Michael looks pretty much clean on every base. What made him turn into a feverish stalker? [Eric’s fingers kept dancing over the keyboard] Has Ehlena dumped the guy for you Rehvenge? [Eric asked and a growl echoed in the room. When males bonded, their possessiveness carried a scent. And something was definitely perfuming the air in this room. Had Rempoon bonded with the nurse? If the answer to that was a yes, then poor Michael was about to have the pleasure of a symphath nightmare]

‘’You think the guy crossed the line because of that?’’ [The teeth grinding that came from the mohawked male were the nails to Michael’s coffin, as humans liked to say. With every second that passed Eric became more and more sure that Michael wouldn’t walk out of this room. A body bag was more likely. If the asshole, Michael, was or wasn’t a good guy, didn’t matter. SOB had decided to obsess and stalk the wrong female. First rule of survival: NEVER sniff too close to a female that has already been claimed. Especially, if the male is a motherfucking symphath. But, hey, nobody said life was fair]

From what I know about him from the research I made. The answer to your question is yes. Ehlena was his trigger. [Eric shook his head as if dismissing the idea] No, offense, Rehvenge, I am sure Ehlena is wonderful, but this is crazy. Stalking around a female for simply saying no to you.

‘’You mean Cora crazy? Like vandalize a car and an office Cora crazy ‘cause you never called her again? [Ahlex shrugged casually as she deadpanned Eric. Silently telling him to open his eyes] ‘’People do crazy things when their feelings are hurt.’’ [A heavy-browed scowled Ahlex looked between him and Rehvenge]

‘’The female is right.’’ [Rehvenge agreed, while his distress climbed to a new level. Eric rubbed at his forehead. Their family’s secrets were unravelling one by one at the feet of a mind roden. Who by the arch of his brow said ‘I hear you asshole.’ fuckintastic.

A long exhale, he changed the subject. He had other serious things on his hands to deal with] I think it would be for the best to go upstairs, Ahlex. [A sigh left her lips as Ahlex opened the door]  ‘’Don’t push it too far, please.’’

AHLEXANDRA: {My eyes pleaded them both to stop before it was too late. No lines had been crossed, yet. Still time to put the past to rest and move forward untainted. If I couldn’t bear the thought of anybody being tortured under the same roof as me…The idea of someone dying was even more repelling.

Had been tortured while other died few meters away from me. I knew the gruesome aspects of life and death. What it took to keep living with the weight of horror on my back. And once again we were walking down a very dangerous path. Which probably we wouldn’t be able to come back from this time.

The bell jar was hovering closer and closer to the ground, very soon it would trap me in. Could feel the buzz in my ears as the terror spread through me}

‘’We will just ask a couple of questions. That is all. Don’t stress over it.’’ {Eric said those words as reassuring as he could. And what happens if he doesn’t answer your questions? I never asked, so like that Eric wouldn’t have to lie to me. He didn’t had that soft spot that I had in my soul. No coffin which anxiety pushed him in. Eric would simply do what he had to do. Michael would give Eric answers. One way of the other. While Rehvenge Rempoon will be the grim ripper. The male turned his head, eyes on me, as if he had heard his name being called} ‘’Forget about being a princess lost in the woods. Be the wolf, female. It sees better. Hears better. And can survive this.’’ {Needed out of this basement. A single thought kept drowning me as I made my solitary way up the stairs. The promise I had made the night we left from the Old Country. ‘I will forever be the female that I was under my parents roof, while they were alive. I will never become like our enemies.’

Didn’t know who I was anymore. What mask had I slipped on to accommodate the situation I was into, to survive the storm which was threatening us. A single promise we all had made to ourselves…

And a millions reasons to be as broken as we were. Justice comes with price. The macabre comes with many. There is a saying… ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I say those people haven’t been truly wounded. Or it was my own weakness that didn’t allow to me heal.

Where would this journey take us? The possibilities were an endless chain. And when the dust settled, would they still be standing?

At the third floor, where our bedrooms were, my heels had pinched my feet so much I decided to take them off and walk the remaining distance barefoot. The door of my twin’s room was partially open so perhaps he was still in} Dreadh? {Asked as I pushed further the door to open} Dreadh are you here? {When no answer came back that thin smile vanished completely from my face. Despite the carpet under my feet, the echo from the shoes that fell from my hands sounded like a bomb had been detonated}

You just forgot to close the door behind you, didn’t you Dreadh? {Speaking to the empty room I felt more alone than ever. Memories of the past six months did a nasty flashback. The twin link we shared from birth was like a door that kept being slammed at my face. Dreadh’s absence wasn’t only physical it was emotional as well. Eric wasn’t any better with the stupidly crazy things he got himself into. But at at least I knew what he was doing, most of the times. Dreadh on the other hand had become a island. And he allowed to no one to come near him. Consoled myself that I  had Eric and very soon Dreadh would come back to us.

But every hope vanished after the night Cora smashed my office. From there things had got from bad to worse. And somewhere along those nights I had lost Eric too} I am so tired of being worried. {No idea why but I had spoke those words out loud. Tired and worried were the two new religions I worshiped and they kept me permanently on my knees. Laying on Dreadh’s bed, toes touching the carpet. I wondered when it was the last time that I had slept peacefully. No daymares, just a good REM cycle} Since you slept the with Trahian. {The night he had come looking for me at the apartment. And that had been two months ago. Yes, we communicated daily, multiple times, but a phone cannot fill the void a person felt. Tears rolled from the corners of my eyes. I wanted to forsake my name and start anew. Wanted that feeling of being boxed, trapped, by the current situations to go away. If only for a single night. Eyes flicked up, blurry vision from the salty liquid that kept drowning them. An orange flicker caught their curiosity of the side corner of my eyes. Dapping away the tears with the back of my hand, I rolled on my side. What I had thought as an orange flicker happened to be a bottle with a white cap on my twins night table. Crawling on top of the bed until I was close enough to hold it in my hand and read the label. A pill bottle with a name prescription I didn’t recognized. Curiosity overtook me, had to find out what this pills were, why they were in Dreadh’s room. I took out my phone from my pocket, and Google searched the name. A second later I knew exactly what they were. Pain medication. Was Dreadh in pain? Brows deeped into a dive, forming a V  that almost touched my nose. What else I didn’t know about him or Eric? Was our family taking its separate way? Each on their long agonizing road, drowning in solitude, divided.

Divided.

Alone.

Drowning.

The words carried me away, further into the abyss that was crooking its finger for me to follow. For a long time I had tried to escape it, wear a warrior’s armor, make myself believe I am stronger than the storms of my life. Whenever I felt defeated all I had to do was to look around me for my brothers courage, hope and strength. Now, all I saw was absence and the daymares jaw ready to snap me in half. When had I lost all my strength?

No longer in Dreadh’s room but in mine, somewhere along my thoughts I must have walked here. Looking down my at hands I saw a glass of amber liquor which couldn’t remember when I had poured it and a pill. Bringing the pill to my mouth and then the glass with the promise of peace. Mental silence, a cycle of sleep were my dreams would belong only to me. No past-present or future haunting me.

I would find peace, even if it was only for a night.

ERIC: [Eric’s eyes were hooded watching the screen, the blue in them two iced lagoons. Rehvenge Rempoon wasn’t toying around. After they had finished with the interrogation, Rehvenge had asked Eric to step outside]

‘’You now know everything that interests you. Give me five minutes.’’ Rempoon had said.

‘’What princess is he talking about?’’ Eric, had asked because his brain couldn’t do the math. Michael had kept mumbling about a princess that had promised him the return of ‘his Ehlena’. Which was that female Michael kept bringing up? What was cloaked for Eric seemed to be transparent for Rehvenge. And by the grim look on his face the female was nothing but an omen of bad luck.

‘’Out, now.’’ Their last words as Eric left the room]

Kill before you get killed. Be the predator or run forever as a pray. [Eric found himself saying the words out loud as he kept watching the grim ripper. A feral predator that walked on two legs. And Eric had offered flesh and blood to it on a silver platter. There was nothing grotesque, though, as Rehvenge worked the male with a blade. The vengeful beauty behind every slash.  A wish formed inside Eric’s soul, one day he too would work the people that wronged his family in the same way as the other male was doing now. Michael had made a choice, a wrong choice, now he knew it. Soon, Eric’s enemies would know their wrongs and meet their end]

These are yours. [Later into the night when order was restored, Eric handed Rehvenge the papers they found in Rehm’s house. The ones that said Rehvenge Rempoon was a symphath] We are not enemies of yours. I hope tonight proves this. You don’t speak of us and we don’t speak of you. [Eric extended his hand, a male’s word is worth more than gold.

Blue ice locked on amethyst. Both males were on agreement, tonight. Tomorrow was different story… Another bridge to dhundh that they would have to cross when the time came.

Close to dawn Dreadh appeared, bruised and bloodied like every other night. Words were once easy for them, tonight they all stood in silence. Not like brothers that were comfortable in each other’s presence, but like inanimate objects that simply breathed from the same source of air. They knew each other well, one exchanged look was enough to know they had stooped low today.

Darkness of soul wasn’t something one could easily share, even with family. Maybe, especially with family. For if they didn’t understand your reasons one could end up without what mattered most.

Secrets, sustained the illusion. Like so, silence prevailed. Each went on their own way. Doors closed.