I have googled “What do I do with my life without Rick Santorum?” and “How to move one now that Santorum’s gone” and it’s not been at all helpful. Like, what do I do? I can still make fun of Mittens R-Money but Santorum was just so ridiculous. This is even worse than when Rick Perry dropped out and sent me into a spiraling depression for weeks (just kidding, that didn’t really happen but it was unfortunate.)
How do I move on from Rick “Don’t Google Me. I Want to Ban Porn” Santorum??