hello 911 yes i have an emergency: these lil shits right here

ChowderWeek 2017, Day 2: Family Dinner

Bitty Doesn’t Know How To Use Chopsticks

[a reinterpretation of this]

If there was ever a moment Chowder felt that he was born for, this was it. This, right here, in his moment of utmost glory, is what he was put on this earth for. He’s even got the evil laugh to go with it. Everyone’s gotta have an evil laugh, okay? Everyone was staring at him like he’d gone mad with power, which, was not entirely inaccurate.

You see, it all started with almost-Christmas. According to Holster, Christmas means Chinese food (gotta love that Holster logic), so almost-Christmas means SMH family dinner at the Chinese restaurant off campus. Bitty, as if anyone expected anything less, whipped up some pie to bring for dessert, and this is important. This is Chekov’s pie, right here. Are you paying attention?

So there they were on their merry way, ordering up some fancy family style dishes to share. Walnut shrimp, kung pao beef, sweet and sour pork, stir fry vegetables, crispy tofu, mapo tofu, Lardo ordered a steamed fish, the eating of which is another story for another time, and winter melon soup. It was going to be a swasome dinner. And then Bitty did The Thing, he did That.

He asked for a spoon and fork.

Gasps, mock horror, chirps all around.

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