i redrew my old sonic OCs from when i was 9-10 years old and colored them from memory
these are anastasia the echidna, rose the cat, and crystal the fox (my self insert)
rose could control the weather, crystal had psychic powers, and i guess anastasia was just real good at sports. i remember not being able to decide what crystal’s eye color should be so i made them rainbow
There are many reasons why this scene hurts so much…
It’s the end of the Doctor and Clara’s journey, they’ve discovered that they are the creature of the Hybrid prophecy and that one of them has to go. Worse still, the way in which they have to part is through a gamble over which of them will lose their memories of the other.
That’s all part of the narrative reasoning behind the emotion of this scene, but the thing that I am hyper-aware of every time I rewatch Hell Bent is the directing.
I like to call this ‘visual frustration’, where the camera is focused on two characters but they’re never properly in the same frame together.
Clara appears as a blurred figure in the background, the Doctor is shot to frequently have his back to the camera and even to us. Even when they’re facing each other, even after they mutually agree to use the neural block together, one of them is obscured in some way.
Throughout their stories, there’s been a big visual emphasis on putting the two of them in the same frame - a particular shot that comes to mind is the parallel one in The Time of the Doctor and Last Christmas, where they’re almost nose-to-nose as if they’re seeing each other for the first time (and - in the former - they are). It’s how their relationship has been visually built…
But here, there is a real, tangible divide in the scene that’s visually indicative that they can never truly be ‘whole’ again, or else risk loosing damnation upon the stars.
Even in the diner, this is a recurring visual theme - though there are a few moments throughout the retelling of the story that frames them together, the bookends of their narrative are divided.
This is it. This is the end for them, and there’s no going back.
Anyway, @racheltalalay is a genius director and I eagerly await the day that I see her name quite deservedly on something like a Star Wars film…
imagine if the Tower had Black Friday like instead of customers pushing each other to the ground you have Guardians throwing grenades and shooting people in the face just to get their hands on an Exotic for half the shards
- Jumin Han, the corporate heir, was a proud father of his 13 year old twins. They estelled in school, were star quarterbacks on their school football team, and aspired to be just like him.
- If he wasn’t invested in his work, he was invested in them and making sure they were on top, and that they knew he was supporting them.
- His 7 year old daughter waited for the moment her father would look at her and tell her all the things he tells her brothers.
- “I’m proud of you.”
- “I couldn’t ask for a better daughter.”
- “You never fail to surprise me.”
- But when she reached the age of 7, she realized that that day would never come, because daddy didn’t love her.
- Trying to talk to her daddy was close to impossible.
- He hardly ever said a few words to her, the most him ever saying was; “Obedience is what makes the perfect child.”
- She wanted to make her daddy proud so she tried to do things that she thought would make him happy like thinking of cat projects for him and feeding Elizabeth the 3rd.
- But she found her list of ideas in the recycling bin one day, and her heart dropped.
- At dinner, she listened to her twin brothers discuss their accomplishments, and she watched as her father relished in it.
- She tried to join in on the conversation, but her father, and her brothers for that matter, ignored her and just brushed her off.
- One night when she couldn’t sleep, she cried out for him hoping that he would come to her and comfort her.
- He never came.
- She went to his office, and the door was wide open, so surely he heard her.
- She knocked on the door to ask if she could come it, and it was silent for a few moments, until he said say, “Go back to bed.”
- In the Han household, she truly felt invisible.
- No one paid attention to her, and no one loved her.
- But because she loved her daddy with all her heart, she kept telling herself that deep down, he will one day love her too and realize her existence.
- There was one person, however, who she knew did love her.
- Jaehee Kang.
- Jumin gave Jaehee a large salary and the request that she be your caretaker. She was given lighter work, bigger checks, and more vacations, all so she can spend the day looking after his daughter because she was never sent to school.
- Jaehee was what made being at home so much easier. Jaehee made her feel like she truly existed, and that she was wanted.
- Jaehee always payed attention to what she had to say, and always showed interests. She always encouraged her to do what she loved, and always gave new ideas to show her love to her father. The daughter knew that without Jaehee, she would be lost, because to everyone else she didn’t exist.
- “Jaehee?” The woman with short hair and glasses hummed a response as she continued to colour with the little girl. “Why does daddy not love me?”
- She stopped, her breath hitching as she looked up at the girl in front of her waiting for an answer. “Your daddy loves you very much.”
- “No he doesn’t. He never talks to me. Do you know how I can make him love me?”
- Jaehee was speechless, and a little uncomfortable too. She didn’t know what to say. “Your daddy really does love you, honey.”
- “Then why does he act like I don’t exist?”
- “Well?… What has your father told you about your mother?”
- The girl scrunched her nose before shrugging nonchalantly. “Nothing. But I heard him once tell my brothers that she was a pretty lady.”
- Jaehee smiled. “She was, and that makes you a pretty lady too. You resemble her quite a lot. Her name was MC. She sadly died when you were very young I’m afraid, and it was very hard for your dad. He loved her very much.”
- “Was it true love?”
- “Yes, it was true love. I think… I think he becomes… sad when he looks at you and sees your mother. But do not mistaken me here; that isn’t your fault at all. You are very lucky to have the beautiful features of your mother, and your father notices that. I think he just is still recovering. Nethertheless, he should treat you more decently and take better notice of you.”
- “Will you tell him that? Can you tell him that I love him. I mean, really, really love him!”
- Jaehee smiled, letting out a soft giggle. “Yes, I will.”
- “Do you love me?”
- “Yes, I do.”
- That night while you were fast asleep and Jumin sat at his desk finalizing work, he groaned at the vibration of his phone against his leg. He answered it coldly, “What is it Assistant Kang?”
- “Mr. Han,” the assistant’s voice was incredibly shaky. “I need to discuss an important matter with you.”
- “What is it?”
- “It’s your daughter.”
- Jumin visibly stiffened, and from the other line, Jaehee could tell by the intake of breath he was already at unease. “What about her?”
- “Do you at all realize what you are doing to her?”
- “I beg your pardon?”
- “I said do you realize what you are doing to her. Do you not see how broken she is by your actions? Do you not see that she is craving your attention? You give all your time to her brothers and you never pay attention to her, and it is weighing on her. Do you know what she said to me today?”
- “Whatever it is, you have no right to be-”
- “She asked me why you didn’t love her.”
- Jumin’s blood turned cold, his jaw clenching and his eyes squinting.
- “Of course, I told her that you did, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was lying to the poor girl.”
- “How dare you-”
- Jaehee would have none of his bullshit. “No, Mr. Han. Listen to me. Listen to me when I tell you that you’re own daughter thinks you hate her. I mean, you didn’t even tell her about her mother.”
- Jumin’s fist made heavy contact with his desk, it was enough to make the house shake. “I swear to god above if you said a thing-”
- “Of course I told her. If you wouldn’t, who would? She deserves to know like your sons. She’s your daughter too. The world can praise you because of all the good things you have done for your sons, but if only they saw the way you treated your daughter, all because she looked like your dead wife. What would MC think?”
- Was Jaehee harsh? Maybe so. But Jumin needed to hear it.
- But of course, he is too stubborn. Down in his heart he knew what Jaehee was saying was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. He doesn’t like to admit he is wrong and he doesn’t want to feel powerless or at a disadvantage, which Jaehee has made him feel. His mind is clouded with anger, and without a second’s thought, he spat through the phone at his assistant,
- “You’re fired.”
- “You’re fired. You can go to the office tomorrow afternoon to pick up your paycheck, then pack your things and get the hell out. You will no longer be in contact with my daughter either.”
- And he hung up.
- The next morning, he sent the boys off to school and waited begrudgingly at in the kitchen for the new caretaker to show up.
- He was already pissed by the fact she was thirty minutes late and he needed to get to work.
- He could hear the scribbling in the connecting room and the sound of crayon scraping abrasively was giving him a headache.
- Jumin sighed, walking into the room with his arms crossed. He didn’t want to face his daughter, not with the words of his once assistant ringing in his heads. The words were screaming at him to get a grip, to fix everything, to tell her he loved her, but he couldn’t. He was already getting grief from the RFA group chat. He couldn’t help but be cold.
- “Daddy, where is Jaehee?”
- “She’s not coming.”
- “What do you mean?”
- “I fired her. I found that she was not a suitable caretaker for you. Your new caretaker will be here in a moment and I will leave for work.”
- The girls eyes began to water and her lips quivered. No, this can’t be right. A single tear slid down her face as she stared up at her father who looked at her blankly.
- “But I want Jaehee.”
- “As your father, I make the decisions in this household. She was not a suitable caretaker. She put rubbish into your head.”
- The little girl couldn’t believe what she was hearing. None of this was Jaehee’s fault. All Jaehe ever did was support her, and love her… Jaehee loved her… So this was…
- Daddy’s fault.
- She let out a loud, ear shattering scream as she picked up a handful of crayons and chucked them at Jumin.
- Jumin was caught completely off guard, and too shocked to say anything.
- The little girl started hollering and crying on the floor, flailing her legs and arms. He had never seen anything like this.
- “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” she shouted over and over again.
- Jumin didn’t know what to do. He stood flabbergasted as his daughter continued to scream and wail on the ground. And god, it was his fault, he lead her to break down completely.
- “She was the only one who loved me! No one loves me! No one loves me!”
- He felt the strings of his heart start to tear as he couldn’t take his eyes away from the scene. He was frozen in spot before he finally managed to move towards her.
- He needed to get her to stop flailing, so he grabbed her arms and legs and held her down.
- It killed him to see her face red from tears and slobber leaking from her mouth. Those golden eyes that looked so much like her mothers, did not at that moment. Her mother’s eyes were so full of life, while the little girl’s eyes were just filled with despair and self hate.
- Although the screaming and flailing came to a stop, she still continued to cry since she was so utterly defeated.
- A seven year old should not feel like that.
- Jumin stared down at his daughter. He didn’t know what else to do but pull her to him. He let her sob into his chest as he stroked her hair, his chin resting on the top of her head. After Awhile, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back.
- She clung to him afraid that if she let go for a second, he would disappear from her grasp and she would never get to feel his warmth again.
- He was so warm. She never felt it before.
- She liked it. She wanted to feel it more.
- Finally, he found the right words to tell her. The only words that he could tell her. “I’m so sorry. I love you.”
- “No you don’t.”
- “I do love you. I will always love you.”
- They clung to each other until the caretaker finally showed up, in which Jumin dismissed her and took a week off from work. He also rang Jaehee to tell her she was not fired.
- He brought his little girl to his master bed and tucked her in. The tantrum wore her out, and she deserved to have the best at that moment.
- He didn’t dare leave her side.
- Now it was up to him to show her that he cared for her, and that he truly did love her. He would make it up to her everyday for the rest of his life, he swore it, to make her feel cherished, loved, beautiful, and wanted.