hell's-spawn

my experiences with overwatch characters
  • genji: despite all the 'i need healing' memes, they're usually pretty nice. they know the entire team is watching and waiting for them to crash and burn
  • mccree: either spawn from hell or just here to have a good time (usually the latter). will probably try to say hi at the enemy spawn
  • pharah: very friendly. will almost never get their ult to go off but won't be salty about it. thanks healthpacks
  • reaper: KINKY. either cursed as shit or will say hello to anything and everything. anyone that mains reaper has dreamt of him crushing their head between his monster thighs
  • solider 76: VANILLA. it's okay though, most people want to fuck him but can't explain it
  • sombra: definitely only here to have a good time since she's basically useless until the devs give her a monster buff. if the player spams the boop voiceline you will hear that noise in your nightmares forever
  • tracer: very high chance they're gay. very high chance one of the enemy team will switch to tracer because they're annoying
  • ana: absolute sweethearts who will risk life and her other eye to keep you alive. secretly enjoys watching the person she's nanoboosted lose their fucking mind trying to make the most of it though
  • lúcio: again, really sweet. unless they're on ilios in which case he's public enemy number one and even if he's on your team you shoudn't trust him
  • mercy: probably picked healer because everyone else picked genji and hanzo. alternatively, a masochist. if the pistol is used a lot they probably mained medic in TF2 and don't fear god or death
  • zenyatta: most likely play competitive too much. another top tier picks for gays but they probably have clinical depression
  • symmetra: [flicking teleporter on and off] welcome to my reality welcome to my reality
  • reinhardt: in the top three most likely to say hi in spawn. please get behind him
  • roadhog: this one is skin dependent. normal roadhogs are like your weird uncle but roadhogs with the islander or junkenstein's monster skin are maniacs and will hook your entire ancestral line across the map
  • winston: i've only ever seen like three. cryptids
  • zarya: tied with tracer and zenyatta as a pick for gays. a good zarya will take your bullets and shove them back up your ass at mach-1 speed
  • d.va: the chaotic good of the universe. probably has play of the game before the match has even started
  • bastion: probably tried to play bastion in competitive once and that was enough. anyone that places him on that elevator thing in hollywood is a scorpio
  • hanzo: they take skirmish way too seriously
  • junkrat: THE CHAOTIC EVIL TO D.VA'S CHAOTIC GOOD. the sound of a riptire is actually an effective tactic to kill the enemy team irl because half of them will have a stroke out of stress
  • torbjörn: lava eating machine. all of them are cursed and i'm personally afraid of him
  • widowmaker: 57 shots, 1 kill. if they're using the odile skin they're probably a straight male
  • mei: fuck you to hell

i’d like to know where any of the “gabriel reyes is the boss from hell” stuff spawns from because have you listened to his actual voicelines? yeah he sounds kinda rough but like 1/3 of his lines are dead guy puns and one is him purring “haven’t i… killed you somewhere before?” like its the worlds best pickup line. gabriel seems like the kinda boss that lets you stop by a pizza place on the way back as long as you get extra breadsticks. he seems like the kinda boss that’ll let you skirt around the deadline bc he knows you’re exhausted and nobody ever turns anything in on time around this place anyways. made the blackwatch uniforms armor and whatever the hell else you wanna wear, he doesn’t give a damn.

JACK is the one with the “you didn’t make the cut” and the “thats SIR to you” lines like ???? how yall always getting this backwards

You ever notice how PLAYING overwatch ruins overwatch characters for you?

Mei
Before: Awe, she’s chubby and cute
After: FUCKING FROZEN HELL SPAWN!

Junkrat
Before: He’s so dopey looking and cute! what a precious dirt boy!
After: STOP BLOWING ME UP!

Phara
Before: So strong and dignified!
After: STOP BLOWING ME UP FROM THE SKY!

Tracer
Before: Oh she’s so cool! she’s like the flash!
After: OH MY GOD STOP MOVING SO ERRATICALLY AND JUST LET ME SHOOT YOU!  

Bastion
Before: The best baby boy! he’s just an innocent bot!
After: YOU MECHANIZED DEMON!

Symmetra
Before: Cunning, looks unassuming but has an edge.
After:

Okay on the line of Petwatch,
The McHanzos own a Chihuahua okay, they find it washed up on the side of an alley way somewhere in Dorado on a mission, it’s practically hairless has resting bitch face with a squinty stink eye, the temperament and lethargy of a cantankerous 90 yr old man and otherwise a spawn from hell.

But Hanzo loves him to McDeath and is the only one he cuddles with. He and the dragons actually get along tho because they all think they’re superior to everything.

Ana knits him fashionable little sweaters and McCree bought him a sombrero and serape which the dog is usually found in if left with the cowboy.

His name is like Cerberus or Cupcake or something. Okay? Okay.

Devil-may-care

Happy birthday @snogfairy <3<3<3 Have a lovely rest of your day!


Lucy wakes up confused and warm, her head aching with what she already knows is a nasty hangover. Groaning, she rolls over, nearly falling off the couch. She catches herself at the last second, swearing under her breath before sitting up. She sniffs, squinting at the harsh light of the morning sun, and frowns when she hears something sizzling. Curious, Lucy wonders is Cana stayed the night, considering she always ends up on the couch when that happens. Lucy stands on wobbly legs, making her way to the kitchen slowly, grumbling to herself about never drinking again.

It’s not Cana in the kitchen.

Lucy freezes at the threshold, blinking rapidly when she notices a man standing in front of her stove. His back is to Lucy, and it’s a very nice, well-muscled back. Her eyes trace his form, a brow quirking when she sees pink hair something dark poking through the strands. He hums to himself and Lucy shakes her head, amused to see her supposed one-night-stand cooking breakfast.

She’s about to call out to him when she notices a weird, circular shape on her kitchen floor, chalk smeared across the tiles. Now that she’s looking, she can see that her kitchen is an absolute disaster. There’s a large crack in her table and one of the chairs is laying in a pile, completely splintered.

What the fuck?

Mystery man turns around, smiling when he sees her. “Mornin’, Sunshine!” he greets, grin revealing a row of wicked, sharp teeth. Lucy glances down at his toned chest, gaze following the outline of his stomach muscles. He clears his throat suddenly, and Lucy’s eyes snap back up. He quirks a brow and that’s when Lucy notices the spiraled horns poking out from his messy hair.

Is that some kind of roleplay thing? Did she bring home some guy with a fantasy kink?

Keep reading

Never Ever - Part 2

Summary: 

“What’s your ideal type?” Eric, one of the hosts of After School Club, asked Mark.

“Y/N,” he admitted. The other GOT7 members exchanged looks, and Eric laughed – but then his smile faltered when he realized Mark was serious.

“Wait, really? Y/N? You know the stories about her, right? What, are you looking for trouble or something?”

Now it was Mark’s turn to smile. “Definitely.”

Pairing: Mark x You (Idol!Reader) 

Genre: Humor and Angst

[Mini Masterlist]

SPECIAL FEATURE ALERT: This is a reader-interactive fic, so in the box below, if you enter a name (yours or a character’s, for example), and click “submit”, it will swap out “Y/N” for that name. Y/L/N stands for “your last name.” None of the information entered is stored. This feature does not work on dashboard/feed/mobile app unfortunately.

Your name: submit What is this?


Originally posted by marktuan-oppa

Y/N’s POV

“Y/N, you’re drooling on me.”            

You jerked awake at Jia’s voice and sat up straight in your seat, wiping your mouth and smearing your lipstick in the process. Jia sighed and rummaged through her bag for a lipstick tube, then grabbed your disoriented face and applied a fresh coat for you. You weren’t even surprised that she had your exact shade ready.

“Thanks,” you grinned when she finished, and she shot you a disapproving look.

“You knew we had an important meeting today, Y/N, and yet you only came back to the dorm at three in the morning? This is getting ridiculous.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved away her fretting. Jia was the leader of 7/11 and more of a mom to you than your own mother. You winced at the thought and dropped your head on your crossed arms resting on the mahogany table. Why, for the love of god, did Kevin have to schedule these meetings at fucking six in the morning? What kind of hell spawn was actually fully conscious at this hour? 

On Jia’s other side sat the other two members of your group, Lucy – the maknae, and Scarlett – the lead vocalist. Scarlett’s real name was Sooyoung, but since SNSD already had a member with that name, your Sooyoung had adopted this stage name.

The two of them were engrossed in their phones, Jia was now organizing her purse, and you closed your eyes again, regretting your life choices.

The office room that you were all in was fancy, the kind of room you could imagine business negotiations taking place, and the air-conditioning was such a relief from the heat of the outside world that you were just beginning to drift off again when Kevin’s nasally voice cut through your peace.

“Right this way, boys,” you heard him say, and you groaned into your arm. Maybe later tonight you would do a cover of Ain’t Not Rest for the Wicked for your SoundCloud. Maybe tonight you would actually get some sleep like a normal human. You buried your face and tried to shut out the world – and then your eyes flew open when it hit you. His scent. American cologne and laundry detergent.

Mark Tuan.

Fuck.


Keep reading

How I see certain breeds:

Pugs: adorable…little hell spawns that are impossible to restrain during a toenail trim
Labs: adorable idiots that shed like a mother
Chihuahuas: land shark
Boxers: the best sad puppy eyes EVER
Cockers: the worst ears EVER
Shar Pei: hives…I am breaking out in hives
Golden Retriever: cancer
Cavaliers: heart disease…:(
Shi Tzu: always look scared and surprised… at the same time
Bulldogs: a genetic nightmare
Huskies: too sensitive to function
Salukies: skinny…so freaking skinny
Border Collie: watching you…always watching you
Heelers: shy and a bit sketchy
Great Danes: giant babies
Malamute: giant babies who scream
Dachshund: Will bite and desperately in need of a middle set of legs
Westies: Cushing’s
Jack Russels: soo much energy
Saint Bernard: floor mat
Mastif: drool…drool everywhere

kylux fic recs

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

PRE/POST TFA:

AU:

LIGHT SIDE AU: 

MPREG:

HAUNTED HOUSE:

HUMAN AU:

HUMAN AU, ACTORS/MUSIC/DANCING:

HUMAN AU, KYLO REN WITH A SWORD:

HUMAN AU, MAFIA:

HUMAN AU, BOOKS:

HUMAN AU, BODYGUARD:

HUMAN AU, UNI:

HUMAN AU, BENARMIE:

BONUS! When Hux of one kylux universe meets another:

fic descriptions in alphabetical order under the cut - 

Keep reading

It’s so weird how potato bugs are like… normal… but also not normal? Like everyone knows what they are you see one and you’re not like “what the FUCK kinda monstrosity is that shit” you’re like “yikes a potato bug” and leave it alone and go about your day

Like have u ever just looked at one they look like hell spawn upon this earth like some deity was like “you know what I’m gonna make??? Some sort of freakish amalgamation of all the worst bugs. And I’ll make it squishy gotta have the squish” like what the fuck

Father Material (Lucifer Morningstar)

Originally posted by morningstr

Pairing: Father!Lucifer Morningstar/Child!Daughter!Reader
Words: 1400
Warning(s): Uh child reader gets lost, das it.
A/N: I think I’ve only written one other fanfic (not on here) with a child reader, so this was really different to write :D. Also I love that gif^
Request: Can I have a child reader with Daddy Lucifer Morningstar like when he’s alone with his daughter he’s just the best daddy ever and when she gets hurt he becomes a worry wart but doesn’t show his worries.


Keep reading

Breaking Myself (Demon AU Jungkook)

Originally posted by jeonbase

Type: Angst Fluff

Request: Can u do an demon au of jungkook bts, where he falls in love with a human and he’d do anything to get his love. Thank lots of love towards your work 💕💕💕


‘I wasn’t meant to love so I cannot’ you read the blood red letters on the paper in confusion. You crumpled the paper as you felt your eyes water, you were played when he promised he cared. Promised he loved. He promised you so much and now he left you alone, to wallow. All he could do was watch you beat yourself up over him. It should have brought him joy but he had grown to like you but you were to never trust a demon with the word love. They don’t know what the feeling is not anymore. 

Yet Jeongguk could feel it. And it hurt him more than anything. 

~

Your head was against the wall as you held the test in front of you. “You piece of shit” you hiss as you threw the test. “This isn’t fair” you say shakily as you smacked your head against the wall. “You keep ruining my life Jeongguk” you whisper as you laid yourself down on the floor. Your eyes grew tired as you laid there and soon you found yourself asleep on the floor. 

Jeongguk looked down at you before he picked up the test “a halfling” he whispers at the positive test. He put it down again and picked you up. He brought you to your bed and laid you down, he expected to leave right away but he remained standing there. He laid down on the bed and stared at your face “I’ll be with you” he whispers knowing you could hear him in your dreams “I do lo-ve you” he spoke as the word was hard to stay together when he truly meant it. “Be angry with me but not the baby, it has done nothing” he continues. He felt lighter as a tiny smile came to your face as you slept. 

~

You went through your days alone for the most part. Your doctor questioned how far you were because by your third month you were the size of someone 6 months along. A single baby. The features were growing as she was getting to full term so quickly.

“How far are you?” the woman with a small bulge on her asked “3 months” you responded. Her eyes looked confused as she looked at her own “so am I” she spoke as you were unsure what was wrong with you. You stroked your stomach as your daughter kicked hard. You glanced back over to see the lady texting away on her phone.

~

After your appointment they told you your child was nearly ready for birth and nothing scared you more. You still weren’t told want was wrong with you. “Excuse me ma'am” you hear as you turned you were shoved back first into the door of your car. A cross was placed against your head and the male looked confused. He opened a bottle and forced your mouth open as the liquid rapidly poured into you. You started coughing. “You’re not burning” he mumbled before he went flying backwards.

“Hasn’t anyone taught you to respect a pregnant woman” a voice hissed as you knew exactly who’s it was. It was the voice you had been hearing every night now. “Your your a” the man stuttered at Jeongguk who’s eyes shifted “and that’s my baby” he hissed as he moved towards the male who took off running in fear as Jeongguk turned to you with his black eyes. Your back was already planted against the car so you had no where to go.

He stepped forward and your eyes shut in fear before his hands lightly touched your shoulders. “You’re fine correct” he asked as he went to wipe your mouth. His skin started to singe as you looked confused watching the smoke rise off. “I’m not human” he told you calmly as the burning sensation stopped. “That baby. Is half of a damned being” he continued. “What-ah” you tried to say as you clutched your stomach. His arms went around you as he brought your head to his chest and when you were pulled back you were in a completely different place.

“Jeongguk why did you bring a human-” the male stopped as he took on your appearance. “Just help” Jeongguk spoke as he brought you to an old bed. “This is not a sanitary place to have her give birth” the male said as he began undoing your pants. You tried to move back as he laughed “pregnant doesn’t do it for me honey” he spoke as he tugged them off. He grabbed ahold of your underwear as you backed away again. “He’s helping” Jeongguk nearly yelled as he took your face into his hands “just do as he says” he spoke as your body loosed and he proceeded to help you.

~

You let out a harsh sob as Jeongguk held both of your hands. He had moved behind you and allowed you to push against him as you pushed out the hell spawn. “I can’t” you sob out as the pain kept getting worse. “Your daughter needs you to” he whispers into your ear “one more hard push” he continued as he squeezed your hands. You let out a yell as so your body screamed for you to stop before cries graced the room. You felt light headed as you laid back onto him. “Thank you Yoongi” Jeongguk spoke as Yoongi held the newborn “I can’t cut the cord at the moment” he said as Jeongguk gestured for him to bring his daughter to you. Your arms quickly took hold of the tiny baby.

Your daughter opened her eyes as you smiled “Sinwoo” Jeongguk spoke. You simply nodded it having a name in mind yourself. He stared down for a moment before he felt something falling down his tanned cheek. A fresh tear. It wasn’t fake, it was a genuine emotional tear. It reminded Jeongguk that he was once a human like you. He was once able to understand every emotion. But he knew that it was a tear of love and pride falling from his eye. Soon Yoongi returned to the room holding medical equipment “just be lucky I know how to do this” he mumbles as Jeongguk nods. “I’ll clean her up” Jeongguk told you as you grabbed his face with your free hand and kissed him deeply.

~

“Who would have guessed Jeungguk would father anything” Hoseok spoke as he glanced down at the sleeping infant. “Don’t touch it. Who knows what modern day babies carry” Taehyung spoke as Hoseok rolled his eyes. “Piss and vomit” Hoseok comments as he reached down touching the child’s stomach lightly. The eyes opened and he quickly saw the black clear as day before they shifted back to their brown they pair shared a look before glancing down at the newborn. Cries soon left Sinwoo as Jeongguk smashed the two males heads together before shoving them away. He carefully picked her up before he appeared beside you. You tiredly took her from him after Yoongi fixed you up Jeongguk had been taking care of you. You cooed as Sinwoo curled into you “I love you” he spoke without a single stutter. “I really do” he continues. “I know” you whisper as he glanced down at his daughter again

Okay, so, according to the SNK wiki, in the KOF universe:

-A 16 year old girl can be a combat officer in a world class military squadron.

-The most feared and unpredictable member of said squadron is an 18 year old girl.

-Said military squadron employs the combat assistance of a 14 year old girl and a 16 year old boy.

-A mad science corporation hires a 19 year old girl and a 16 year old boy to assassinate said 14 year old.

-A 19 year old girl is a pirate captain of a crew of mostly middle aged men.

-A 14 year old boy and a 16 year old boy, on separate occasions, were killed after being possessed or engulfed by an evil entity as a result of entering the fighting tournament.

-The guy who has historically dominated this tournament is 20 years old, below the American drinking age.  If we are intended to believe the tournament is annual (considering Antonov mentions there’s been a long interval between tournaments in KOF14), this means he started competing at age 10.

Why is this game full of children?  Why are these kids fighting each other?  Where are their parents?  Do any of them know that this incredibly dangerous tournament has a history of blood, death, and battles against actual hell spawn?  Antonov also mentions that 2.5 billion people watch the tournament, so does that mean that many people in this universe are oblivious or sadistic enough to want to watch children duel to the death? Dear god, why is any of this legal?