hell yeah this show was the shit

new show idea: anthony bourdain and gordon ramsay travel the united states visiting hole-in-the-wall dives with bomb-ass food. bourdain picks out the restaurants and spends the first however-long of the episode talking up how fucking amazing this place is. when they get there it is always in a strip mall, or a shack in the woods, or a trailer under an overpass. ramsay is constantly scared and confused. bourdain is usually also scared and confused but pretends he is actually cool with whatever, in keeping with every other show he has ever done.

shots from every episode:

  • bourdain completely terrified by ramsay’s driving
  • bonus points if ramsay refuses to just drive a normal car like a normal fucking person
  • the look of horror and resignation on ramsay’s face when he sees where they’re going to be eating
  • ramsay taking in every possible health code violation
  • bourdain’s poorly-contained sadistic glee at the look on ramsay’s face
  • at least one scene that is more censor beeps than audible dialogue
  • ramsay’s vindication when bourdain ends up trapped in the bathroom shitting his guts out
  • bourdain’s complete lack of remorse and insistence that it was completely worth it
3

You Taught Me How To Be Brave…

We climbed up to the roof drinking whiskey in the rain
But I wouldn’t let you in, my life revolved around escape
Cause I was always such a runaway
Trying to cheat my way right through the game
But when you touched me, I couldn’t get away

I have been through pain in the dark like a knife
Yeah, I’ve been betrayed, ooh
You showed me how to love like a spark in the night
And not be afraid, ooh 

- “Brave” by Zayde Wølf

More pre-Kerberos sheith. Because… damn it. Zayde Wølf made me do it.

Their cameo in s4 made me curious as hell about Shiro’s and Keith’s relationship during their time at the Galaxy Garrison. So, here’s my take on it:

  1. Shiro taking Keith to the roof for star-gazing… but somehow they always end up watching each other instead.
  2. A drunk as shit Keith “breaking into” Shiro’s dorm room (he does have a second key okay so technically it’s not breaking in- but don’t ask him how he got his hands on it) at 3 AM on a Wednesday, because he wanted some cuddles.
  3. Their first ride on a hoverbike.
mike gets a video camera

some cute headcanons involving mike recording the losers!! also this is kind of got hella long so sorry haha

  • oKAY so let’s get started…

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Revenge on homophobic dad

So I came to visit my dad on Easter and I’ve never heard so many homophobic words in 6 fucking days. He went full on how gross and disgusting and all that homophobic bullshit and then - of course - he fetishised lesbians, because “they are nice to look at”. I got really pissed when he started to wonder if Church will let him change godfather for my brother, because the one he has Come out as gay couple weeks ago… I was like “what is wrong with you? I honestly want to know?!?!?”

I tried to use reasoning but it failed so now I’m in the middle of making my revenge in couple simple steps:

1. Go on yt and watch so many gay (les too but not two attractive models making out) videos ad you can so recommendation on yt will always show gays.
2. Go to his porn account (I just happened to know his login and password to everything so that’s not a problem) and also watch gay (this time male/male only) videos and like them, comment maybe so it will also jump on in recommendation.
3. Say you are gay. Bonus: Suggest having a gf and say that “those sleepovers you let me go to were total fun”
4. Trick him into watching gay movies(:
“Brokeback mountain” may not be a good to start with, because most people knows it’s gay. Better start with some less known movies) then watch him storm out the room when he reliased what he is watching.
5. Made him read gay ff - must be slowburn. I will tell him that I wrote it and he - as a good father and shit - should support my dreams and read this. Make him fully invested before he reliase it’s gay love story.
6. Find out how many celebrities he likes are gay. Watch movies with those people and when they appear on screen say “Did you know he/she is gay?”
7. Find out how many historical figures and his idols may be gay and destroy his image of them.
8. After this he will probably start to fight: “its not important that he is gay, because he did something and he is my Idol”. Make a face and make him understand what he just said.
9. If 8 happens give him a break because he starts to get it.
10. if 8 does not work just jump straight here and be as gay as possible. Mention things about pride during meals, show how much LGBT community suffered over the time, try to make him understand something (if he doesn’t plan vacation and place him in one room with gay uncle)

MAKE HIS HOMOPHOBIC LIFE A GAY HELL, BECAUSE HE DESERVES TO KNOW WHAT BIG ASSHOLE HE IS.
(I’m currently at point 2. Revenge Is on)

UPDATE (which i should add a while ago but I’m shit so yeah): https://futurepast56.tumblr.com/post/159791268652/revenge-on-homophobic-dad

We are approaching a group of people outside the walls of the city, which is currently on fire and under attack by a dragon.

Fighter: Are they cultists or fleeing villagers?

DM: They’re still about 300 feet away and it’s dark, you can’t tell.

Fighter: I start strutting towards them like in the music video for Stayin’ Alive…actually you know what I’m gonna sing it too.

Paladin: I pull out my lute and start strumming along.

Me (Cleric): I don’t understand why this is happening but I love it. I use thaumaturgy to make like, lasers and fog and shit.

DM: So you’re gonna approach these strangers while performing a full-on 80’s rock show?

Fighter: Hell yeah!

DM: Tarun, why do you have a lute? Are you even proficient with it?

Paladin: NOPE

DM: So it’s not just an 80’s rock show, it’s a SHITTY 80’s rock show. All right.

Paladin: Think about it, if they’re friendly then they’ll realize that we’re idiots and not be threatened by us. If they’re cultists maybe they’ll be so caught off guard we’ll get a surprise round.

Me: Good point! This is the best idea we’ve ever had.

DM: sighing begrudingly All of you make performance checks.

The fighter rolls a 16, the paladin rolls a 4, and I roll a 3.

DM: You approach them and finally get close enough to see them by the glow of Rhaela’s light show. They’re villagers. They’re incredibly scared, and now incredibly confused by what they think is supposed to be music. The little boy clinging to his mother’s skirt laughs at your display. Good job.

Paladin: BUT! They’re not afraid of us.

hamilton lines i’m able to remember at 3:49 in the morning

  • i’m the general wheeEEE
  • awesome wow
  • lock up your daughters and horses ;)
  • CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME
  • whatever it is Jefferson started it
  • “she’s married to a british officer” “oh shit”
  • SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKIN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS
  • you shot him in the siDE YES HE YIELDS
  • you’re the worst, Burr
  • TURN AROUND BEND OVER I’LL SHOW YOU WHERE MY SHOE FITS
  • two virginians and an immigrant walk into a room
  • LOOK AT MY SON
  • and peggy
  • hey hey hey hEY HEY
  • “Burr you disgust me” “ah so you’ve discussed me?”
  • everyone give it up for America’s favorite fighting frenchmaN LAFAYETTE
  • hercuLES MULLIGANNN
  • is it a question of if Burr or which one
  • france
  • my god
  • John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway
  • fuuuuuuuuuuu-
  • whatever the hell it is you do in monticello
  • BAHAHAHA YEAH RIGHT
  • that’s true
  • because i’m the president
Oh Sehun//Love Thy Neighbor

Originally posted by wooyoung

Summary: You move into a new apartment after your boyfriend leaves to go abroad, making your relationship long distance. You’re tired, stressed and missing him - and your next door neighbor isn’t making life any easier. (Part 1/Part 2)
Scenario: neighbor!AU, slightly angsty
Word Count: 3,712

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Hum, I don’t remember seeing this so often, so I thought this could be cute and funny

Hope you like this! I’m glad to be back! 


RFA + Saeran in love with an oblivious MC

Zen

  • In your defense, how were you supposed to know? The guy is a flirting machine!
  • Okay, but if you paid a little more attention, you would notice Zen always finds excuses to touch your shoulders or hands
  • He also compliments not only your looks, but traces of your personality, because it’s something important to him, being able to seeing beyond appearance, you know?
  • Apparently, you don’t.  You just thank him and give a compliment back, smiling and driving him crazy for being so cute
  • And he knows he’s not being subtle at all (not even if he wanted to, he just… doesn’t know how to be subtle), he’s literally holding you by your shoulders, looking at you straight at your eyes, saying: “I love you, princess.”
  • And you’re just: “Wow Zenny! You need to warn me before getting in character! I almost believed in you for a second.”
  • D E A D
  • What does he need to do for you to understand, for Christ’s sake? Should he make a public appearance wearing a t-shirt where it’s written: “I ❤ U, MC!“
  • He should, and that’s what he does.
  • And you finally get it after his desperate move. That and his fans flooding social media begging this MC to notice him, why is she wasting such a chance? Is she crazy or whaaaat?
  • “No, just having a hard time to believe. It’s not everyday you find your celebrity crush loves you back, you know?” D E A D A G A I N

Yoosung

  • He is not exactly great at letting you know his feelings
  • Because whenever he sees you, his mind goes a little blank, he gets nervous and trips in his own words.
  • “Hi, Yoosung! How have you been?” “Thank you, so do you, MC.” WUT?
  • But when he calls you or texts you, it’s more natural. So you should have got the signs through that by now.
  • Because boy is always telling you how his day gets better after talking to you, how much he appreciates your encouraging words and how he would like to repay you one day.
  • By cooking for you, letting you beat him on LOLOL or… who knows? Taking you on a date? (he sent the text and L E A P E D away from the phone, knowing it was crazily bold of him)
  • “Okay! You better really let me beat you on LOLOL next time.” OH. MY. GOD! You can’t be real!
  • Seven is watching this PAINFUL conversation and laughing “MAY DAY! MAY DAY! WE HAVE A MAN DOWN! REPEAT! WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!” and you’re like wtf, dude?
  • But after that, he feels like really helping his bro: “Or you could really go on a date with him, MC.” “Oh… it’s fine, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to.”
  • “BUT I DO! I REALLY DO, MC!” (Yes, CAPS LOCK and everything) “See, MC? He really wants it, where are you guys going?”
  • “Well, I’ve always imagined my perfect date with Yoosung to be at…” MAN DOWN! REPEAT! WE HAVE A MAN DOWN! (from happiness this time)

Jaehee

  • She was pretty oblivious of her feelings herself for a long time
  • So she doesn’t get too frustrated you’re not aware of it, who is she to judge?
  • But once she does understand her feelings, she turns into a very different person around you.
  • Now she’s blushing much more when talking to you, always asking you to join her to hang out and discus things that aren’t related to the cafe.
  • Seriously, how could you not notice that she didn’t take her eyes off of you when the two of you were watching a Zen’s DVD together?
  • “Is there something on my face?”
  •  No, but there’s a crack on hers!
  • This poor woman… she has this urge of being honest, but at the same time, she’s so scary of doing it and messing up her first true friendship…
  •  And though she loves romantic movies and such, she’s not exactly one to expect real life to be like those and get frustrated when realizing it’s not possible. 
  • Then it hits her! Well, life isn’t exactly as fictional romance, but: “MC, remember that musical Zen played a pirate falling for the princess?” “Yeah, what about it?”
  • “I’m the pirate to your princess…” Awkward silence… “No, I’m the pirate to your princess.”


Jumin

  • It would be hard for you to tell because he’s not super obvious about it.
  • I mean, he does take your opinion in consideration more than everybody else’s, he allows himself not to be so stiff and formal around you, he smiles so much around you, but, well… he’s kinda like this to Elizabeth as well, lol
  •  And he’s such a gentleman, so whenever he kisses the back of your hand, offers his jacket suit to you when it’s cold and treats you like a queen, for you, he’s just being polite like he was raised to be.
  • Like Jaehee, also debating on being honest and risking to lose something great. He never had someone to understand him so deeply like you do, what if he confesses and you reject him? Farewell to the most meaningful relationship he could ever have.
  • It comes to a point everybody in RFA knows his feelings for you. Everybody except you.
  • Even Zen is feeling bad for him.
  • Like: “Come on, dude! If you have something to say to her, just say it! You’re always so willing to say the weirdest shit around here and now you’re chickening out? Ugh… coward jerk!”
  • And for the first time, Jumin takes the bait and lets himself get caught by Zen’s teasing: “I’ll show you coward.”. Zen is like: “Okay, alright, let’s see what you got!”
  • “Good evening, MC! May I ask you something?” okay, this is it, guys, here he goes… “Would you be willing to try a hypothetical exercise for me?” What the hell?
  • “Yeah, sure, I guess…” “Marvelous. What would you say if I hypothetically said I have romantic feelings for you?”
  • MC is typing… HIS HEART IS ALMOST COMING OUT THROUGH HIS MOUTH, SEND HELP! “I would hypothetically say I feel the same way.” “I see. Would you go on a non-hypothetical date with me, then?” Watch and learn, Zen, watch and learn…

 

Saeyoung

  • He tried to ignore the feelings as much as he could, until he couldn’t lie to himself anymore
  • But through this process of convincing himself he didn’t like you, he probably convinced you as well.
  • So when he hugs you timidly, calls you late at night, talks to you until you fall asleep or finds excuses to see you in the most random hours of the day, to you he’s just being… well, him.
  • He would probably be someone that says “I love you” casually.
  • Like, you’re talking about whatever, he laughs and says: “Damn, MC! I just love you so much”.
  • But you don’t take it like he means it, to you he’s just one of those people who say “I love you” as in “Man, I can’t even with you sometimes…”
  • So you just laugh whenever he says he loves you. Your laugh is everything to him, but wouldn’t it be perfect if you took this seriously?
  • Low key he thinks it’s adorable how you can’t see something he’s not even trying to hide anymore. It’s part of your charms, it’s one of the reasons it makes him love you.
  • So one night you two were hanging in one of his babies, and he was being insanely flirty, singing along with the romantic song on the radio, straight up serenading you.
  • And you’re just smiling and laughing. When the song is over, he sighs and looks straight at you: “Damn, MC… I love you so much…”
  • “I love you too.” And by the way you slip your hand to hold his over the gear shift, he knows you mean exactly what you said. Damn, he really loves you…

Saeran

  • He knows he sucks tremendously  at showing his feelings
  • But come on, the fact that he bears your presence more than anyone else’s doesn’t really click anything on you?
  • And he… says things to you, he waits for your response, he pays so much attention in every single word you say and every gesture you make. Seriously, nothing?
  • He doesn’t like going out much, but you text him about getting ice cream and he answers immediately: “I’m ready and waiting at the door for you to pick me up. Hurry!”
  • He likes watching TV with you, he likes your jokes
  • It’s not like he’ll cackle or anything, but if that soft smirk on his lips doesn’t mean “marry me”, what else could it mean, for fuck’s sake?
  • The poor boy is even thinking of going to the extremes to…  ugh… ask advice from his brother.
  • But no, he needs to figure it out how to do this by himself. It’s a great way to start having a normal life!  Like, really really great, especially if you accept his feelings…
  • And well, if he doesn’t know how to get close to you in that sense, he’ll at least make sure none other guy even tries something with you.
  • “What the hell, Saeran? Are you jealous or something?” “Y-Yeah, I am jealous! So what?”
  • You blush, clearly surprised by his honesty: “So what that… it’s very cute… please do it more often…” oh, is this your own special way of saying “marry me”? He’s super down for this, to be honest.
9

Requested: High School Stenbrough
-I feel like Stan would be such a jock. (People cheer “Stan the Man! Stan the Man!” when he plays)
-Bill is literally the “artsy teen™”
-And of course, Bill is on yearbook committee.
-when Miss Owens tells Bill he needs to take photos of the football team at games and practices, he’s reluctant.
-when she tells him she’ll give extra-credit, he gives in.
-“F-Football players are d-dicks, Richie.”
-“Bill! I’m on the football team?¿”
-“exactly..”
-“hey! Look Bill, it’s not so bad. Plus, Eddie will be there too on Monday. He’s my little luck charm.” Richie smiles.
-“ugh. You two are gross.”
-on monday, he goes to their practice and finds a comfy spot on the bleachers before pulling out his camera. (Not his Polaroid camera, he saves that for people actually worth his time.)
- he starts taking a couple photos of richie and some of the other players.
-after five minutes, Bill is bored out of his mind. Where the hell is eddie¿
-Bill’s ready to leave when luckily Eddie shows up.
-they talk about their school’s production of Romeo and Juliet and Bill gets a couple nice shots. (Eddie is a theater kid, fight me on this)
-when practice finishes, Eddie gets a call from his mom telling him that she’s here to pick him up.
-Eddie asks Bill to go fetch Richie from the locker room because as he says “there’s no way in hell I’m walking into the locker room of filth.”
-As Bill walks in, he literally has to hold his nose (eddie’s 100% right.) Bill is just glad that yearbook doesn’t have a scratch and sniff page.
-When Bill finds Richie, luckily he’s already showered and is clothed. He tells him that Eddie has to go home, so he should go say bye.
-Before leaving the locker room, Bill finds a jersey hanging up near the football bag. This would make a perfect shot for the yearbook.
-Bill tries like 5 different angles before deciding that the lower right side angle perfectly shows the football poster in the back and that the photo looks aesthetically pleasing this way.
-“You like my jersey?”
-Bill almost drops his camera from being startled. He looks up from the jersey and to his left, to see a boy with curls and a soft expression.
-‘shit, he’s hot’ Bill thinks.
-He looks at the boy frozen before finally getting a word out.
-“Y-Yeah.”
-“That’s a nice camera. I’m Stan, you’re Richie’s boyfriend uh.. Eddie? Right?”
-“w-what?” Bill says confused before laughing. “No w-way, like n-no way in h-hell. That would n-neve-“ Bill sighs before saying, “I’m B-Bill.”
-“oh alright, that makes sense. I couldn’t see richie dating someone as cute as you. That would be absurd.”
-Bill blushes and laughs. Finally someone who shares his type of comedy.
-‘maybe not all football players are dicks’ Bill thought before grinning at stan.

#I'mstillnotoveritokay?!?!

These boys are just so much more to me in retrospect.

The pure acceptance in this friendship is just fucking awesome okay?!


-They didn’t care when Isak was acting weird, saying it was his family, they wanted to know what they could do.

-They didn’t get mad when Isak was lying to them, they were concerned.

-They didn’t care when Isak lashed out, they forgave.

-They didn’t care when he told them he was gay, “biiiiitch what? Let’s drink and talk about it. Text his ass and tell him you deserve his all. Oh shit , he’s here?! Can we meet?! No? Okay we see you tomorrow lover boy! ❤️”

-They didn’t think twice in just accepting Even into their group. “You the boyfriend? The one that kicked us out, you hottie!!” *hugs*

-They didn’t let Isak get away with leaving Even because he was Manic. “Wtf shorty?! So what, he ain’t brain dead! We didn’t raise you this way. Stop being dumb and just talk, we like him!”


-They have been there to give Isak advice, never
criticize.

-They show clear support and investment in their friends relationship. “Evak is awesome! We can sale this shit!”

-“Ya’ll moving in together?! Hell yeah! New place to chill, we help you move Kay? 👌”

- Imagine how Even must feel about not just the love of his life Isak, but the chillest group of second years who just excepted him and his ‘faults’ like “okay fam, but can we go eat & talk about getting laid now?”

This is one of the many examples of amazing friendships in this show and it’s worth talking about okay?!?!?!!

Title: Hard to Handle
Fandom: Stranger Things
Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader
Word Count: 3,425
Warnings: None
Notes: Can y’all tell that I’m on a massive “best friends turned lovers” kick? // Request from anon for “4. “I think i’m in love with you, and that terrifies me.” 75. “I want you to fight for me!” and 76. “Please don’t go.” from the prompt list for steve harrington with a side of extra large angst please 💗💗 (and if u only do a certain # of prompts then u can choose from those three :))” – (I couldn’t find a way to include number 75, so that’s why it got left out.) ♥

gif made by @v-writings

The first semester of college is always the most difficult, for an innumerable amount of reasons. Not only is it nerve-wracking to be thrust into an entirely unfamiliar situation such as college, but it is a momentous change in one’s personal life. They’re away from their family, they’ve now got to balance difficult coursework with attempting to have a social life, they’ve got to attempt to develop a social life in this new environment – there are a thousand and one things that change in someone’s life when they go to college. And any fragment of familiarity is held onto as if it were the most valuable thing in the world. Whether it be the blanket they brought that still smells like home, or a photo of their family setting on the nightstand, any sense of home is cherished.

For Steve, it wasn’t some treasured memento from home – it was you.

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That’s My Girl

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: Jensen breaks your plans for the evening but he makes it up to you.

Prompt: “That’s not a good enough reason to get married.”

Characters: Jensen x Reader

Requested: @arryn-nyx


“I can’t believe you’re bailing on me!”

“I promise I’ll make it up to you, Y/N!” Of course Jensen subjects you to his dazzling signature smile, the one that reminds you of kittens and rainbows and all of that corny shit.

He drags you in for an insanely tight hug as if that will make your moodiness disappear. Well, the joke’s on you because it’s starting to work. Damn his perfect physique. How are you supposed to stay pissed when an attractive man who smells delicious is touching you? 

You gather up enough super strength to shake those distracting thoughts away. There’s no way in hell that you’re letting him off the hook this time. Nice try, buddy.

But Jensen’s only wearing a thin, white t-shirt, allowing you to feel every one of his god damn muscles. Fuck. The man knows what he’s doing, his hotness has gotten him out of more than you’d like to admit. To be fair, it definitely works both ways. All you have to do is bite your bottom lip and he’s fucking putty in your hands. Silly boy.

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"valenTEAna" astrolotea on the ru-onion

So like, vitriolina is genuinely mean, the worst of taureans and geminis combined, a sadistic combination for the appearance of ~congeniality~ and a tight leash for shutting those down who dare come for that.

As a Taurus sun, Gemini Moon like myself I understand shutting down and goin into shock before having to do an important ass thing or presentation, and also wanting to be home, but it’s also never a damn excuse!!!!!! Like, when ya friend is reaching out, and ya don’t wanna talk, at least offer that explanation????

I am SO glad it was the earth Signs who clocked her. Aja, Capricorn with a libra moon, saw unjust, and delivered her!!

And I am glad miss Virgo Farrah Cancer Moon, assisted by her sentient wig, pulled out those fuckin receipts on Valentina. That’s real Gemini moon of Val to be dismissive like… which sucks? Because it was also Gemini moon as hell to see her give Farrah that pep talk before she had to lip sync on the show. (What’s the truth)

“Can’t navigate” social media my ass, Shea’s psychic Pisces moon saw those lies??? “Can’t navigate” social media with a GEMINI MOON, THE MOST SOCIAL BUTTERFLY OF SIGNS. Okay yeah, NEXT.

And then JUST now addressing shit on Instagram trying to do some crowd control, but not when ya libra sis is callin you in tears, or when your cancer sis has to go private on IG, I see you sis. I’m a Taurus sun Gemini moon too and I know what we’re capable of. The worst kind of mean is the one that doesn’t admit it. It’s toxic.

Anyway, Shea or Peppermint deserve to win. Period. The. End. (Somebody get me peppermint’s birthday please).

p.s. Astrology is real, and I’m so glad that old hag of a Scorpio RuPaul let everyone expose Valentina on Television. That was a lesson she needed to learn.

Some “back then” Headcanons nobody really needs.

1) When Hunk just got into Garrison he was really shy and had a hard time socializing since most people were intimidated by his appearence.

-  One day he was at the cafeteria and some guy named Lance sat in front of him and said “Hey, can I pretend to be talking to you, that Foreman guy was being a dick so I stole his pudding. If anyone asks, I’ve been sitting here the whole time, ok?” so they shared the pudding and ended up talking for real for like an hour. 


 2)  During her early days at Garrison, Pidge used to get bullied for being short (and also for being kind of a little shit).

-  One day some boys cornered her at the corridor and started calling her names, but Lance showed up and told them to “leave his teammate alone”. The boys were all like “Yeah? You and who else?”, but when Hunk appeared from behind Lance with a super menacing look, they almost shit their pants and ran for it. Lance and Hunk started laughing their asses off and Lance was like “Nice acting, bro”. That was the first time Pidge actually smiled in front of them and thought: “Maybe spending time with these idiots once in a while won’t hurt”

- Also, Hunk started showing up at her dorm with homemade cookies, so it became really hard to refuse. They were peanut butter, how the hell did he know.


3) The first time Lance saw Keith was in a common flight practice, and he actually thought he was cool and a great pilot. 

- He approached him after practice and said “Hey, I’m Lance. That rolling maneuver you did back there was awesome. You think you can teach it to me some time?” But Keith blatantly ignored him and walked out of the room. Lance was so ofended he inmediately came to hate him. He set as a personal goal to become better than him and teach his rude ass a lesson. 

THOR : RAGNAROK THOUGHTS (SPOILER ALERT)

literally the visuals of the damn film were great, A+++

- first of all THANK YOU TAIKA FOR DIRECTING THIS BEAUTY 

- he literally added all of his little touches from Rachel House as Topaz from The Hunt for the Wilderpeople (there was an easter egg in the first trailer with reference to the movie through graffiti of the Skux Life) to Luke Hemsworth and Matt Damon impersonating Thor and Loki on stage

- THOR TALKING TO A DAMN SKELETON 

- you’re probably wondering how i ended up like this cliche

- THANKS FOR BRINGING IN MY MAN KARL URBAN TO PLAY SKURGE who has a pretty decent character arc from replacing Heimdall to collecting knick knacks from the nine realms (machine guns named ‘Des’ and ‘Troy’, together they’re ‘Destroy’) and trying to impress ladies to temporarily becoming Hela’s Executioner although he hasn’t the heart to kill his own people to trying to be a stowaway (some would call this cowardly but wait) to deciding to fight for Asgard and giving his life as a result, he got his recognition 

- Thor’s hammer antics, putting it in the dragon’s mouth and setting it on Loki’s chest like, “Stay!” and “OW OW OW” yeah that hammer is a real gem, pity Hela had to destroy it, makes sense that she would be able to do so since she wielded it before Thor was ever born when she and Odin had their fun rampaging the realms

- HELA IS THOR’S (and technically Loki’s) OLDER SISTER????????????? WHAT THE HELL????

- Loki as Odin was bloody hilarious, going “Oh shit” the moment his brother shows up (plus the giant statue of himself in gold, really??? a bit much???)

- LOKI LEAVING ODIN IN AN ELDERLY HOME HAH (the damn thing was being demolished like HELLO) 

- Loki having to outdo Thor in some way aka FULL BLACK SUIT, SHIRT AND TIE FROM HEAD TO TOE while Thor is literally in jeans and a jacket (his face when Thor was asked for a selfie though, like how is that ever possible

- THANKS FOR BRINGING IN BENEDICT TOO LIKE I NEEDED ME SOME STEPHEN STRANGE BEING SUPER EXTRA AND TELEPORTING(???) EVERYWHERE MAKING THOR WHOOZY (honestly i laughed so hard when Loki said he’d been falling for thirty minutes since Strange opened a portal for him to fall into and then reopned it much later, loved it) 

- Thor disguising his hammer as a damn umbrella and it completely wrecking the New York Sanctum as it flies to him 

- Sentimental bros when Odin passed on IN FRIGGING NORWAY

- The clouds and thunder mirroring Thor’s grief and anger and the sparks crackling like the perfect foreshadowing 

- Thor being a dramatic dork with the most unnecessary costume change of the century, a lightning strike *rolls eyes to the moon and back* 

- CATE BLANCETT IS SO HOT HOLY SHIT 

- HER HAIR TURNS INTO HER HEADDRESS????? WHAAAAA?????

- HELA WHY YOU KILL MY WARRIORS THREE SOBS 

- heimdall the fugitive, cue the mission impossible theme song (completely necessary i assure you) 

- the amount of humour littered throughout the film is ridiculously fantastic so much so that i can’t possibly go through all of it but kudos to Drunk!Valkyrie, that is a mood i can totally agree with

- Loki and Thor arguing like a bunch of children good lord (CAN I JUST, THE GRANDMASTER SUBTLY FLIRTING WITH LOKI AND THOR JUST LOOKING COMPLETELY CONFUSED LIKE ????? GOLD!!!)

- SPARKLESSSSS

- “What’s the word we use for her that start’s with B?” “Trash.” 

- Valkyrie sassing her way through the film, everywhere from speaking to Thor to Topaz and Loki like, what a boss

- Thor getting his hair cut by Stan Lee with a robotic arm (he’s so damn attached to his hair like woah)

- TAIKA VOICING KORG LIKE WHAT A PRECIOUS BEAN THAT GIANT STONE MONSTER IS I LOVE HIM ( he’s so precious “I tried to start a revolution but couldn’t print enough pamplets” + “We’re going to get out of here on that ship, want to join us?” + “I accidentally stepped on [Meek] on the Bridge and I felt so bad, I’ve been carrying him around all day” + Meek wakes up, “HEY EVERYONE MEEK’S ALIVE”) also the subtle explicit jokes did not go unnoticed ahem ahem -.-

- Loki’s projections being a recurring theme throughout the whole movie from the start where he visit’s Thor in the contender’s holding area, “to try and help him” and Thor keeps throwing stuff through him because his brother won’t even try to come and meet him face to face (Korg attacking supposed ‘ghost’ was also adorable), to when Loki is chained up in Valkyrie’s room and Thor throws something at him (it hits him in the head) to check if he’s really present, to when they try to escape and Thor figures out the trick because Loki’s inherent selfishness tips him off, and finally the ending when Lokis shows up after throwing Surtur’s crown into the fire, Thor not even daring to believe his brother is there in the room, “I would hug you if you were here,” and he tosses something at supposed projection only to have Loki catch it, “I’m here”, that was a tender scene between the brothers and I love Taika all the more for executing it as such (he could easily have had Tom miss the object and allowed it to hit him but he kept the moment an intimate one, bless him for that) 

- the classic “HE’S A FRIEND FROM WORK” and Loki’s face when he saw the Hulk, “I NEED TO GET OFF THIS PLANET” *flashbacks to PUNY GOD

- Thor’s lightning being triggered by Odin and the Hulk’s punches though, the lightning is so flipping amazing and it’s honestly really cool to watch?????

- Bruce was the Hulk for TWO YEARS????? and Nat is the one to trigger the switch back (also his and Thor’s little frienship squabble was pretty cute, not to mention the Quinjet recognising Thor as POINTBREAK BAHAHAHA)

- Bruce in Tony’s clothes (can i get a little SCIENCE BROS up in here) 

- Valkyrie and Bruce being so damn oblivious 

- “Loki turned into a snake and I liked snakes and then he changed back into himself and stabbed me with a knife WHEN WE WERE EIGHT” and Loki still has the guts to smile, devious little bastard

- “Let’s do ‘GET HELP’!” “No, that’s embarrasing” proceed to Thor literally TOSSING Loki at the guards

- “It’s a leisure ship, the Grandmaster uses it for his orgys” oh lord bless me 

- I don’t have much to say about Heimdall or Hela to be very honest, because we were only briefly introduced to Hela and Heimdall was barely touched on except as a fugitive getting the Asgardians to evacuate. Hela was mostly just stipulated as the villain and sister goddess, though her ability to produce swords continuously is fantastic and nicely presented 

- Valkyrie’s past was cleverly dealt with instead of having a cheesy heart to heart, with Loki showcasing his magic abilities to pluck the memory from her mind and see for himself what really happened that turned her into a drunken scavenger 

- Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie growing up then realising they were all women

- Bruce has 7 PhDs, good to know (none of them are for flying alien spacecraft though, also good to know) 

- LOKI IS ACTUALLY RELATIVELY GOOD IN THIS ONE (although he does halt by the Tesseract and we all can guess that he takes it since he has it in Infinity War) 

- Taika handled the missing Gauntlet fantastically with Hela tipping the relic over in Odin’s vault, calling it a fake, which alludes to the real one being missing, really nice segway right there (she also hovers by the Tesseract and recognises it’s power)

- Thor losing an eye, Loki thinking his new eye patch suits him and Hela saying he looks like their ‘dad’ 

- VENTRESS AKA THE REALLY CUTE AND SCARY GIANT WOLF THAT HELA CALLS HER PET IS SO COOL but also undead so yeah ….

- Asgard is a people (and Thor being their king, decides to take them to earth…) 

- Ragnarok having a completely different meaning by the end of the film 

- “Let me rephrase, how do you think the people will react to you bringing ME back?” “They wouldn’t be very pleased.” and cue what supposedly looks like a giant ass ship from Thanos 

- second post credits scene was mostly for the laughs 

- NO SOUL STONE IN THIS ONE FOLKS 

- things were just a tad rushed in this one but the graphics and fight sequences were gracefully done and i’m satisfied

“Who cares if Tony is upset that Bucky killed his parents, he was brainwashed, Tony doesn’t have any reason to be upset, he should realize this.”

EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME.

Ok.

Let’s take a guy, brainwash him, and then have him kill your parents and record the whole thing. Then, let’s tell YOU it was just a car crash and let that stew for thirty some years. Then we will tell a close friend the truth about their deaths, but oh, not you. AND THEN FORCE you to watch it when you are ALREADY EMOTIONALLY STRUNG OUT BECAUSE

1. Your girlfriend left you
2. You’re trying to make amends for completely fucking up when you made a murder bot that destroyed a city
3. You have the government up your ass
4. You have the Avengers up your ass
5. You’re worried about your best friend who may never fucking walk again in his life and you blame yourself for it
6. You’re trying to find the most peaceful way to protect the Avengers from having a political storm reign down up them with no help from anyone while getting hate and antagonized for it the whole time BY THE PEOPLE YOU ARE TRYING TO PROTECT, while your so called “friends” turn against you and fight you the entire way.

Oh boy.

And then.

AND THEN

Make you WATCH as the man standing right behind you, the man you are trying to help, beats your father to death in cold blood while listening to him BEG for your mother to be spared, only to then watch him strangle your mother (the only parental figure who showed you any fucking love in your entire fucking life) just for BEING THERE. Oh. By the way. Find out your so called “friend” knew about it for a couple years now and didn’t tell you shit. THEN let’s see how rationally YOU are thinking.

Was Bucky brainwashed? Yes. But did Bucky kill Tony’s parents? Yes. Did he want to? Probably not. But he did. Does Bucky feel guilty as hell? Yes. Do I, personally, blame Bucky Barnes? No. Is it probably eating Bucky alive? Hell yeah, definitely is.

Did Tony have a reason to be upset? YES. He just watched Bucky murder his parents. Was Tony’s anger warranted? Yes. Was Tony thinking rationally? No. Should Tony have tried to kill Bucky? No. Could Tony have handled that waaaaay better? Yes. But do I blame Tony for reacting the way he did? Hell fucking no.

Everyone has their breaking point. Tony’s was building through the whole movie, you could SEE it, and that was Tony’s breaking point. Unfortunately Bucky was the closest thing to him that he could project all that anger, frustration, grief, hurt, pain, devastation on. Because brainwashed or not, Bucky still killed Tony’s parents.

Is it Bucky’s fault? No.

Should Tony have tried to kill Bucky? No.

Do I blame him for trying? No.

anonymous asked:

Can i please have a warren worthington imagine where he acts very macho in front of his friends but when he is with the reader he is like putty in their hands. Just a lot of fluff and shy and in love warren 😭😭

Of course!!!!!!! I’m sorry it’s taken me fourteen years to get to this (sometimes I forget I have a side blog) but I hope this is okay!

I’m using s/o (and y/n instead of an actual name, but that’s a normal thing I think) instead of girlfriend/boyfriend because I try to keep things gender neutral! I hope that’s okay, because that’s how I like to write!

Warnings? Maybe some cursing but that’s about it (also mentions of dogs getting their lil baby paws stepped on and peter getting beat up?)

“Scott, don’t even try to act like you didn’t cry when you stepped on that dogs foot.” Peter said, crossing his arms.

Warren, Peter, Kurt, and Scott were sat in a circle. A bro circle, of course.

“Of course I cried, Peter. I have a soul. You nearly cried when Kurt bamfed in front of you and your pizza slice almost dropped onto the floor.” Scott snapped back, frowning.

“It was quite amusing, Peter.” Kurt smiled gently at him, causing Peter to smile to.

“Well, Warren cried last night when his-”

“I did what now, speedy?” Warren cut him off, his wings flicking out as a warning.

“You almost cried last night, when y/n started tearing up because Scott stepped on the dogs foot.” Peter said, raising his eyebrows at him.

“No,” Warren scoffed, his wings tightening up “I did not. I don’t have enough emotion for that, Petey.”

“Yes, you literally did. I saw the tears in your eyes. Warren’s a crier.” Peter grinned at him and dived when Warren launched his boot at his head.

“Shut it, speedo.” He snapped, glaring at him “I could, like, beat you up. So, fuck off with that shit.”

“Who’re we beating up?”

Warren sat up immediately, blushing “Hey baby”

He smiled, his arm wrapping around you gently, his wings fluffing up as you kissed his cheek in a greeting.

“We’re beating up Peter.” He said, softly.

“Awh, hell yeah. I’ve been waiting forever for a reason to beat up banana hammock.” You said, grinning at him.

“Banana hammock?”

Warren ignores Peter and smiled again, rubbing your cheek with his thumb, humming “We can tag team him.”

“I’m gonna go find Jean, I wanna show her the dog we found yesterday.” Scott left the room, dragging Peter behind him, who was pulling Kurt with him.

“Why do we wanna beat him up?” You asked, giggling as he said “He was telling everyone how I cried yesterday because you started crying and for some reason I couldn’t help it but start crying with you.”

“It was precious, really.” You said, smiling as he placed his forehead against yours. “You’re a very doting boyfriend. Very emotional… Very empathetic? That’s a better word. Empathetic.”

“It’s only because I love you.”

You could feel your heart stutter, thinking in the back of your mind that’s not healthy, grinning as you responded “I love you, Warren. My angel.”

“I love you, doll. Cupcake. Honey. My sweet baby love. Love of my life. Darling. Pumpkin.” He pressed little kisses to your cheeks as he went on, leaving you in fits of giggles.

“Are you done?” You asked, looking up at him.

“With loving you?” He asked, smiling “Never.”

“Get a room, you nasties!”


“Oh fuck off Peter!”

anonymous asked:

Could you do a Jeff Atkins imagine of being Clay's twin sister and a good player on the girls soccer team and like Monty and Bryce keep harassing you because you're good looking but you can't stand them because they're jerks and Jeff comes to you're rescue when they get aggressive because he considers Clay and you friends and most of all he likes you (and you obviously like him back)??

title: i am lying in wait

word count: 1143

note: it took me writing this fic to realize how much i actually love jeff atkins he’s a cinnamon roll can i just like……. save him……….


Most of the time, attention had never bothered you. In fact, you were used to having all eyes on you. Being one of the best players on the Liberty High girls’ soccer team had proven time and time again that having people notice you all the time just came with the skill. You could, however, discern which attention was unwanted.

High school boys, for the most part, were really fucking stupid. You’d come to this conclusion on your third day of freshman year when Bryce Walker and Justin Foley had come into school smelling of weed and obviously very high. You made a mental note to never get involved with a boy until you were out of high school and into the world of college; you changed your mind when your twin brother, Clay, introduced you to Jeff Atkins, a boy in your grade whom Clay had met in his World History class.

Three years of flirting with one another had led nowhere. It was obvious that you liked Jeff and he liked you back, but it never happened. You were too shy to say anything to him about it and he wasn’t sure if he could bring it up on his own, so there you were, stuck in an endless flirtationship.

Soccer practice was always during the same time basketball practice was, but the basketball players were always done and out before the soccer kids were. You were running defense drills when the boys showed up to sit in the bleachers that lined the field; Bryce and Montgomery were there, as usual, with those shit-eating grins ever ingrained on to their face.

“Looking good, [Name],” Bryce shouted after you.

“Hell yeah, babe! Those shorts are extra short today,” Monty added.

If your face hadn’t already been burning from the effort you were putting into today’s practice, you’d be flushed from embarrassment. Thankfully, your coach came to your rescue the first time, yelling at them to not distract her players. It kept them from making remarks for a while until she left to get some more soccer balls from the gym to practice passing.

As the remarks went on, they grew more and more aggressive. It was obvious these guys were creeps, they always had been, but it made you feel like shit when they objectified you like that. You had to focus extra hard on passing to your partner to block out the comments. Nevertheless, they persisted.

Jeff was just leaving the library, his backpack slung carelessly over his shoulder as he made his way to the soccer field. He always stayed for your practices so he could drive you home and talk with you. Tutoring with Clay was getting done just as the coach was clearing the field, telling the girls to rest up for the game that weekend. He could have sworn he’d be able to hear those sickening catcalls from two of the biggest jerks on campus from three miles away.

As the bleachers came into view, he could see you seated on the very edge of the bottom row, your head down and your eyes focused on switching into a more comfortable pair of shoes instead of your cleats. Bryce and Monty had moved to sit in the two seats above you, and it was clear you were as uncomfortable as could be. With no signs of the two stopping, Jeff approached.

“Come on, [Name], we just think you’re really sexy,” Bryce was throwing down endless nicknames that made you feel worse by the second.

“Hey, Jensen!” Jeff called, smiling brightly in your direction; he could clearly see how relieved you were when he showed up. He grew closer and you stood up, focusing your attention on him instead of the two assholes behind you in the bleachers. The baseball player wrapped a protective arm around your shoulder as he glared up at them. “These guys giving you trouble?”

“Just a little,” you said, shrinking against his side.

“Aw, come on, babe. We were just complimenting you,” Monty supplied, a sickening smirk on his face, one that mirrored the one on Bryce.

You wanted to fold in on yourself, melt into a puddle right there on the sidelines, do anything that would get you away from the two basketball players who made your life a living hell when they were around. What they said was gross, something that really shouldn’t ever be said, yet here they were, clearly making you uncomfortable.

“Listen, de la Cruz. She’s not your babe. I suggest you stop treating her like she’s some piece of meat you can have. She’s clearly uncomfortable with what you’re saying to her and it needs to stop. Learn how to treat a girl and maybe you’ll finally get one,” Jeff retorted quickly, his free hand clenching into a fist.

He didn’t even wait for them to respond; they looked dumbfounded. As they stared, Jeff grabbed your duffel bag, slung it over his other shoulder and coaxed you to his car, a sympathetic look on his face.

“Sorry if what I said back there seemed possessive or something like that,” he apologized as he tossed your bag in the back seat and opened the passenger door for you. “I just know that they’ve been harassing you for a while now and I was getting really mad about it.”

“Thanks. I didn’t have the courage to tell them to stop and even if I did, I don’t think they would have taken no for an answer.”

“It’s no problem.”

The car was silent as Jeff pulled out of the student parking lot. You turned to look at him and rested your hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Seriously. That was really nice of you to do for me.”

He didn’t turn to look at you, but you could see the smile that pulled at the corners of his lips as you spoke your second thanks. When your hand pulled away from his shoulder and you looked back to the road in front of you, his right hand reached overs to grab yours.

“It’s not right that he was calling you babe and all that. Those are reserved for, like, boyfriends.”

You raised an eyebrow and glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. “Really? Are you trying to tell me something, Jeff?”

The blush creeped adorably fast onto his cheeks and you giggled quietly, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Am I?”

“You know, if you wanna call me nicknames like that, I’m okay with it.”

The roses bloomed an even deeper shade of red, adorning his cheeks with an adorable flush that made him look heavenly in the golden sunshine.

“Alright.”

Silence.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You think if we go to Rosie’s right now, we could consider it a first date?”

“Gonna ask me out, Atkins?”

“Maybe.”

“Finally.”