April 9, 1993

Bo Jackson, in his first at-bat after eighteen months of rehab following his hip replacement surgery, connects for a home run with his first swing of the season in the team’s 11-6 Opening Day loss to New York at Comiskey Park. The 1985 Heisman Trophy winner, en route to being named the AL Comeback Player of the Year, will hit 16 home runs and collect 45 RBIs in 85 games, contributing to the White Sox’s American League West Division title.

Heisman Trophy finalists Ki-Jana Carter and Kerry Collins of Penn State, Rashaan Salaam of Colorado, Steve McNair of Alcorn State, and Warren Sapp of Miami pose together on the Staten Island Ferry on Dec. 10, 1994 in New York City. Heisman winner Rashaan Salaam was found dead in a park in Boulder, Colo., on Monday night. There were no signs of foul play. He was 42.  (John Iacono)

Too many feelings right now. Way too many.

I just finished watching The Hunting Ground. A documentary I’ve been dying to see since I found out about it’s existence last Spring. 

I was expecting to be fired up; I’m a raging feminist, I was expecting to get angry, get mad, and be sick to my stomach at people’s ignorance. And I was.

But I didn’t expect to have my heart absolutely shattered. I didn’t expect to be sitting here shaking, still, and to be crying on my couch over mint chocolate chip ice cream and Sun Chips.

I thought this would be easier to watch. I know the statistics. I know that 1 in 4 will be assaulted, and I know about the amount of schools currently in violation of Title IX. Women in my life that I am so, so close to, have had this happen to them. One of them is currently in the process of reporting (and if I understand Title IX right, our University is three days away from being in violation- trust me, I’m counting because I will NOT let this fucker get away with this). 

But I’m still shaking. I’m 26 days away from graduating from Central Michigan University, and I have never once genuinely felt unsafe on campus, or at my apartment in Mt. Pleasant. But there are hundreds of thousands of students, men and women, across the country who feel unsafe every. single. day. because their attackers are still on campus. Or, if their attackers are not on campus, those who support the attacker still are. College has been the best four a half years of my life, and for these women in The Hunting Ground and for the hundreds of thousands more just like them, college has been the worst years of their lives. I absolutely cannot imagine living like that. 

I am so grateful for this movie for putting the names and faces of assailants and piece of shit University officials out in the public, but I am so enraged by the way things were handled when it came to athletes. The post-interview special is on now, and they’re talking about Jameis Winston. Fuck your Heisman Trophy. Fuck your celebrity status. None of that is even relevant when you look at the choice you made to rape her. I don’t care how much fame, success, or glory you have. It means nothing in comparison to the felony you committed. And it’s absolutely deplorable the way that the police officer and school stood behind someone just because they can run fast and throw a ball. Fuck. That.

I want to speak to the piece about Fraternities. I won’t say “not all fraternity men are rapists” because that’s unproductive and we know that. But it does kill me to see that there are Universities where active chapters are known as the date rape fraternities… and I thank the Lord that the fraternity on Central’s campus who partook in such things has been shut down (don’t get me started on the fact that their National’s still recognizes them). These campuses are so different from the one I’ve experienced, but I look at it and all I can see is entitlement. These fraternities partake in these actions because they feel entitled to girls, and entitlement (to anything) is an overall issue that needs to be shifted within all Greek communities. 

Now I’m rambling. But I am a ball of emotions who is so, so upset by so many things. Upset by the number of Tweets about The Walking Dead and AMAs when something so much more important was happening. Upset when I look at Central- I am so grateful for things like SAPA, but then I think of last year when someone who assaulted a professor was only banned from certain academic buildings. Upset by the fact that so many schools knowingly violate Title IX by waiting too long. Upset by how many athletes continue to play for two more seasons despite being accused of sexual assault. And upset that I am only one person, and it takes many more of us to make an impact.

anonymous asked:

Can you maybe write something alone the lines of Niall making fun of you for being really emotional? I cry over the simplest things, pregnancy reveals, people saying their wedding vows, people expressing their loves, hell even watching videos of dogs getting adopted

I’m not sure he’d make fun of you necessarily.  He’s not a total dick - especially when he knows you can’t help it.  Butttttttt…….he’d probably get pretty desensitized to it.  

“Oh no, what’s wrong?  Are you upset?  Lemme get tissues!”  

Visiting Ben and Meri and baby Ruby had seemed like a good idea at the time. But the minute you got a whiff of that precious newborn smell, you were done for.  The beauty and innocence of this new life was overwhelming.  You were so happy for the new parents and filled with hope and joy for this little girl.  She was already so loved and so lucky.

Meredith was rushing through the living room looking for tissues, or at least a clean burp rag.  “I’m fine, seriously, I’m just so happy for you!”  These situations were always embarrassing with people you didn’t know well.  Meri sat down and patted your knee gently, clearly not sure what would set you off next.

Niall and Ben strolled into the room, after Ben had been showing Niall some new video clips he was working on in his office.  Niall took one look at you and with a straight face asked, “Baby smell or tiny fingers?”  Ben’s head swiveled around and gaped at Niall like he’d lost his marbles.  Meredith glared at Niall and scolded him.  “Jesus Niall, what’s your problem?”

Niall just rolled his eyes and huffed out a sigh.  “No no, she’s fine, I swear!  She’s just got kind of a low threshold for emotion s’all.”  He shrugs and looks to you to bail him out of the angry mom glare Meri had perfected in the week since Ruby was born.

You sniffle and smile.  “Baby smell.  But seriously, he’s right.  I’m just so happy for you guys and she’s so beautiful.  I’ll be fine.  I’ve been this way my whole life.  Last week I cried at the Heisman Trophy commercial on ESPN because the candidates have overcome some really amazing obstacles.”  Ben’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he stifled a laugh.  Niall waved his hand out and said smugly, “Told ya.”