Along those lines but not really we have an AU of the heinousstuck AU, staring heinous Dave because the design is super cool. TW for gore, experimentation, and torture, I guess. 

The lab is a really weird place. It’s government funded and it seems like everyone that works there is a little bit off, y'know? Well, whatever, who isn’t. Dirk starts working there as an intern. He’s studying science-y stuff and this look great on his resume in the future. He has to sign about a million vaguely threatening contracts and pleads saying he won’t give away secrets, he’ll tell no one about what goes on at the lab, slipping something to someone might result in death, blah blah blah. 

But it’s the government, all the contracts are like that, am I right? 

What he finds shocks him. 

Dave is the lab pet. He wasn’t always the lab pet, he was probably just a normal boy at one point that was either related to a scientists or he was just pulled off the streets, but he’s not a human boy anymore. He’s all stitched up, bloodied, he has a fucking sword through his stomach. It’s pretty clear he can’t fly with his wings but he uses them to flutter around, he never fully stands up, just kind of lopes and flutters around on all fours. He’s a marvel of science one guy claims, petting the thing’s soft black hair as it makes this weird, guttural, purring sound. 

At first he was just an experiment and it was painful and horrible for him, but he doesn’t remember that now. Nothing hurts anymore. The scientist can take the sword in his chest out and the wound heals right back up. If they stab it back in, no matter where they stab, nothing seems to happen. He doesn’t feel pain. It’s weird because he’s always covered in blood even though all of his injuries are healed. The scientists have tried cleaning it off but it somehow pops back on. They thought he was attacking people at first but no, it just appears there. None of them mind anymore. If Dave rubs against them and gets blood everywhere they just laugh. 

He’s an attention whore, like a weird cat that wants to be in everyone’s business, always headbutting people’s legs in an attempt to get pet. He does tricks. He sits and lays down on command. They don’t really know how intelligent he is, though. His tongue and voice box work fine but the never speaks. They just don’t question it. 

Dirk is so freaked out and this thing just follows him around. It’s movements are jerky and bird like and it’s so weird, always demanding to be pet and Dirk is afraid to touch him. 

He has to stay at the lab and he’s woken up quite a few times with Dave in his room, crouched over him and god damn for a guy that can keep his cool he just fucking screams and screams and screams until Dave goes scampering out of the room.

Dirk falls in love with another scientist there, Jake English, who’s studying animal life and behavior. 

Things don’t work about. Dirk’s heartbroken. 

His only comfort comes in the form of a very curious Dave who starts poking around, notices Dirk is upset, and starts doing tricks in an attempt to cheer him up. It always makes the other scientists happy! But it doesn’t make Dirk happy so in the end he just sits there, head on Dirk’s knee, and evenly Dirk figures if he just pets the damn thing it’ll leave him alone. He tires and Dave sits there making these weird cooing sounds and it’s kind of really relaxing. 

Dave speaks. Broken sentences, light mumbles of comfort, and it’s so weird and surreal and after that Dave just follows Dirk around and Dirk no longer minds it, he pets Dave like everyone else, lets Dave stick around to watch him work. When he wakes up and Dave is curled at the foot of his bed, he’s okay with it.