hehehehe-get-it

Ok but I scared the shit out of my parents tonight.

Me: *yelling from my room* “Hey do you guys way to see what I got in the mail?!”

Parents: “sure.”

Me: “Ok just don’t get to scared.”

*walks out with Kaneki mask and eyepatch on and my dad literally jumps at the sight of me.*

Dad: “what the..”

Mom: ….

Me: … *smiling behind mask*

Mom: “Ok Natalie. You are an official freak. But you already knew that.”

Me: “thanks mom.”

Dad: *look of horror* “why..”

Me: *smiling* “I’m just a disappointment is all.”

Oh no. The sketches have begun.
servant-of-spamano

GUUUUUUYYS! I FUCKING FINALLY TURNED 18!!11!!! whuuuuuu happy birthday to me!!! imma go sleep cause i am a lil petit peu drunk yyayx

One time I was talking to one of my European friends who didn’t understand America and she asked me “why does America love the bald eagles so much?“
And I said "because every American citizen are assigned a bald eagle they have to legally see once a year in a wildlife preserve with one big American flag for a blanket and one small one for decoration.”
And I went on, told her mine was two years old and was named Alfred, and he lived at Yellowstone.