too many to count (that doesn’t mean I won’t try though)
- Heather Chandler is the self-proclaimed social media queen. Duke creates an Instagram and exceeds Chandler’s follower account within days, so Chandler hacks into her account and deletes it because she’s salty af
- kurt and ram run one of those ‘hottest girls @ westerburg [insert like seventeen eggplant/fire/muscle emojis]’ accounts. its super gross and they think its a secret but everyone knows it’s them
- Veronica works at Starbucks. she is constantly disgusted by the amount of weird frappuccinos(??) she has to make for customers. Martha is currently personal offender #1 because she ordered the unicorn frap five times before it went out of season and made sure that she ordered it from Veronica every time
- JD has Pokemon Go and is still very Into It™ even though its not popular anymore. He has a 2000 cp umbreon that he loves very much. Veronica will deny it if you ask her but she also still has the app and has an espeon to match.
“Grow up Heather, Bulimia is so ‘87.” Heather Chandler says to Heather Duke as she vomits today’s lunch into the toilet.
The day is almost over and I still haven’t invited them over to my place, and I’m not sure that I want to. I still have a bad feeling about all of this. I look over to Heather Chandler and McNamara as they fix their hair and makeup in the mirror. I just stare at them as I try to decide what to do. Then, Heather McNamara asks me something weird.
“So Veronica, what are you going to do when we’re gone?”
“What do you mean?” I ask. When do the Heathers ever leave me alone?
“Well,” Heather Chandler explains, “they finally finished constructing the new high school. You know, the one inside the sanctuary.”
At this point, Heather Duke flushes the toilet comes out of the stall. “Yeah, now we’ll practically never have to leave.” she says as she starts to rinse out her mouth.
“Today is our last day in this dump.” Heather Chandler says.
Corn nuts. I completely forgot about the new school. If I don’t invite them now, I might never get the chance. Plus, this gives me the perfect excuse. “You guys should come over for a game of Croquet before I never see you again!” I blurt out before I lose my nerve.
Heather Chandler glances over at me like I’m insane. Did I sound unnatural? Did she suspect that something was off?
Finally she says, “Sure, whatever. It probably will be the last time we see you before you turn into a zombie.”
And with that, we all leave the bathroom and head to class. Now it’s up to JD to do the rest.