hearts in my eyes for youuuu

Time - Erik Durm ft. Marco Reus

Time doesn’t love you anymore

“Marcooooo!” I sang, launching myself into my brother’s arms.

“Siiiiiiis!” Marco sang back, equally enthusiastic with a huge grin on his face, catching me and spinning me around. “Jesus, you’ve gotten so heavy now,” he joked, finally setting me down.

I punched his shoulder playfully, rolling my eyes. 5 years since I’d seen my brother and he was still his dorky self.

Marco had never gotten along with our dad, and so the moment he’d been signed by Dortmund he’d left us. He’d tried to contact me, but Dad had always found a way to dodge his letters and phone calls, too afraid that he would lose me too.

But then after he’d realised time wasn’t on my side, he himself had tracked down Marco for me. After months of Skype calls and texts, I’d finally been able to fly out to see him. And so here I was in Dortmund, at Brackel and finally reunited with my brother. For as long as I could be, of course.

“Come on, let me introduce you to the team,” Marco announced, putting his arm around my shoulder and walking me out to the pitch, where a bunch of men stood in black and yellow.

The blue eyes were the first thing I saw, the air around me becoming thick and electric as I found it difficult to breathe. It was like a slap to the face, a face I hadn’t seen in 4 years, a face that haunted my dreams and was the root of my solitude right there in front of me.

Erik Durm’s eyebrows frowned over his deep-set eyes, his pink lips parted in shock as he too recognised me. Nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks, the park around me disappearing as our last moments together ran their course through my mind.

“You’re making a mistake- Come on, Y/N, think about this,” he begged me, as I grabbed the few items of mine that had taken a place in his home.

“Erik, just don’t-” I managed to say, holding it together in front of him.

He grabbed hold of my hands, pinning them to my sides and stopping me.

“I’m not letting you leave like this. If this is about your brother, we can talk about it, I’m not him, I won’t leave you-”

“This isn’t about him, Erik. I just can’t do this with you, not now, not ever,” I spoke, shaking with the contained sorrow inside of me. My need for him battling with my love for him.

“Y/N, come on, we were going so well, I don’t understand-” he spoke helplessly as I pushed him away, making my way towards the door.

“That’s exactly the thing - you don’t understand, Erik. So the sooner you get it through your head that this is over, the better it’ll be for you.” I announced, not even once taking a final look at him before walking out of his life.

“Y/N? Were you even listening?” Marco’s voice sounded, bringing me back down to earth.

I looked up at him and forced a smile upon his frown, turning to look at the Borussia Dortmund boys.

“It’s nice to meet you all - Marco talks a lot about you!”

And yet somehow he’d failed to mention there was a player who went by the name of Erik Durm in his club. Wonderful.

I avoided Erik’s hard gaze on me, keeping my eyes glued either to the grass or to Marco as I sat in the bleachers, watching them all train. After 30 minutes of suicide drills, Klopp finally gave them a time out.

“Wow, tough life,” I laughed as Marco dramatically sighed and dropped onto the bench beside me, pretending to fall on me. “You smell bad, get awayyyy!”

“Aww, but I love youuuu,” Marco teased.

I squealed as his pulled me into his sweaty arms, purposely rubbing his head against my cheek as I groaned and swatted him away. Finally getting rid of him only to be met with Erik standing in front of me.

My grin faltered, my heart racing at the sight of him. Clad in shorts and a black Dortmund tank that displayed his muscular arms, Erik Durm was everything that a girl could ever ask for. And at that moment, his blue eyes were full of betrayal and hurt as he looked at me.

“Y/N.”

My name fell off his lips with a malicious caress and had we been alone, I would’ve pushed him on to the grass right there and made sure he never uttered any other girl’s name ever again. But I held it together.

“Erik.”

“I didn’t know that Marco was your brother.” He spoke, a fake smile plastered on his face.

“I didn’t know that Marco was your teammate,” I replied, not bothering to return it.

My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing because I didn’t want to have this conversation with him. I didn’t want to answer any of his questions because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it together. Not that he would even care, but I wasn’t ready for neither him nor Marco to find out the real reason behind my rash decisions.

“Um - is there something I’m missing here?” Marco asked.

I tore my gaze away from Erik to look at my brother, sighing.

“Erik and I know each other…we were together, a long time ago.” I answered, praying that it wouldn’t change their relationship in any way.

Marco’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, not uttering a word as he looked at Erik.

“So you banged my sister?”

“Marco - it wasn’t like that at all,” I began to reason with him, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting up.

Erik shook his head, raising his hands up in defense.

“I had no idea she was your sister up until 30 minutes ago,” Erik defended himself.

“Did you break up with her? What the hell happened?” Marco spoke, turning to me. He was now stood up, his hands fisted at his sides.

“Marco, no! I ended it-” I managed to get out, my chest tightening. No, no, no this wasn’t happening. Not now.

“Wait - why?” Marco then asked, frowning.

I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out, the world around me suddenly spinning. I knew all too well what was happening and reached my hand out to grab a hold of something - anything - but missed as everything suddenly went dark.

- - - - - - 

“Y/N?”

“Y/N open your eyes!”

“Everyone give her some space, let the medical team handle this.”

“Y/N, if you can hear us, give my finger a squeeze.”

So many different voices called out at once. It was way too bright when I opened my eyes and someone’s finger was shoved in my hand. I heard shouts of relief and blinked several times, faces above me coming into view.

“Thank God,” Marco sighed, the foreign finger leaving my hand, Marco pulling me up into a sitting position.

“You scared the hell out of me,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, giving him a reassuring smile, whilst I was filled with dread on the inside. I knew this was coming, but I’d never thought it would be so soon.

“Let the docs run some tests on you, maybe you’re anemic or something-” Marco began, but I shook my head.

“I’m fine, Marco, don’t worry about it.”

“You heard the girl, she’s fine. All of you go change now, training’s over for the day,” I heard Klopp announce, and was silently thankful.

I stood up as everyone walked off the field, only to find Erik standing there. His arms crossed over his chest, his jaw set firm, his eyes accusing.

- - - - - -

I stood in the pitch as I waited for Marco to return from getting changed. Upon hearing footsteps, I turned around to find him walking towards me.

“All set to go?” I asked, setting aside the dread in me to focus on the moments with my brother, determined I wasn’t going to let my bad luck ruin this for me.

Marco set his things down, crossing his arms.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.” He replied.

“Th-there’s nothing going on.” I answered him, plastering a smile on my face.

“Bullshit. You’ve always been a shit liar, Y/N.”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“Then what are you hiding from me? Because I know there’s no way Dad just woke up one morning and decided to track me down for you. I know exactly how persuasive you are, and if you were able to you would’ve gotten him to do it long before.”

I swallowed back the lump in my throat, shaking my head and turning away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears that were threatening to spill over.

But of course he wouldn’t have any of that. He marched over and stood in front of me, tipping my chin up to meet his gaze.

“I’m your older brother - I can help, Y/N,” he tried to persuade me, his tone so much more softer now.

“You can’t, Marco. No one can - I-I’m dying, Marco.”

Marco shook his head, unbelieving.

“You- you’re exaggerating. You can’t just-”

“Marco - I have stage 4 leukemia.”

This time, it was he who needed something to hold on to.

He took a step back from me, shaking his head, his hands running over his face.

“No.”

“Marco…”

“No. You can’t- You don’t- This isn’t happening-”

“Marco, listen to me-”

“I just got you back Y/N! God dammit!” He roared, angrily kicking his duffel bag that went flying from the force of his kick.

I sighed, taking a hold of his hands and making him look at me.

“Marco, please, get a hold of yourself,” I told him, tears running down my cheeks. A sight that seemed to steady him as he sighed, shaking his head.

“How long have you known?” he asked me.

“4 years.”

“You-you hid this from me for 4 years?” he demanded, appalled.

“I thought I had time, it was at stage 3 and they thought that the chemo would work…”

“But it didn’t.”

“So I asked Dad to track you down. I just- I needed you back for whatever time I had left.”

“Fuck.”

I’d never seen my brother cry, yet at this point his eyes were red as he paced back and forth, listening to me.

“Is that..is that why you and Erik ended?” he asked me, and I nodded.

“I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to have to be with someone who was sick, Marco. So I decided it would be best if I left him,” I replied, closing my eyes shut.

“That wasn’t your decision to make, Y/N.” Erik’s voice called out from behind me.

3

Bewitched, you witch,
One thing is for sure.
That stuff you pitch,
Just hasn’t got a cure.
My heart was under lock and key,
But somehow it got unhitched.
I never thought my heart could be had
But now I’m caught and I’m kinda glad that you, you do, that crazy boo-doo, and I’m bewitched by youuuu! ✨

(The name of this lipstick is Bewitched, by the way, which is why I’m singing the song 😂)

Hannnnnaaaaaaaaaah HI \☺️/
Idk if your ask is open or not so im just gonna send this to you this way!! I just wanted to say thanks so much for just being you, I love your blog and absolutely everything you’ve written and you followed me on twitter in April of 2012 and I screamed so loud while in study section of the library at uni 🙈. I love Harry with all my heart, as do youuuu, but I also appreciate other things you post and it’s really opened my eyes and I just really wanna say thanks so much girl!
Creeping your blog has become apart of my morning routine before getting out of bed, and when I was in Essex last fall for 4 months completing my internship, i was so upset when i’d go on tumblr at 6:30 am and you wouldn’t have reblogged anything bc it was the first time in my life we lived in the same time zone, which made me soooo incredibly happy but so sad in the mornings lol 😂😂💚 Anyways, I hope we do get to see more of your writing in the near future bc i really fuckin can’t wait 💚💚
Happy Easter Hannah 🐰🐰🌷🌷
PS: HARRY IS LITERALLY BUNNY AKA AB HARRY AND IT DOES THINGS TO MY HEART (💜u💜)

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for not replying/posting earlier. I read this around Easter and it was such a lovely message to wake up to, but I forgot to post it!! :( You’re the reason I’ve created a queue, so wherever all you lovely people are in the world there’ll always be something new on my blog! 

xx