do u ever love someone so much you just don’t know how to describe it but thinking about them just makes you want to explode with love & joy for them & u just wanna hold them tight & never let go bc u just love everything about them & they’re just so great

over the years i learned to hate my birthday. i’ve spent 18 years watching my friends as they got their locker decorated, party’s planned even when they insisted they weren’t having one, their boyfriends showering them in flowers and love poems. while each year when my birthday comes around it’s full of twitter balloons instead of real ones, my best friend forgetting until the days half way over even though i’ve been with her since 8 am, and boys breaking my heart. why can’t just one year people treat me as though i am actually special to them. maybe it’s because i’m not.

4am

Even the good people, the ones you dream of meeting, fuck up. People aren’t perfect and loving someone means handing them a gun and trusting them not to shoot you. But we’re all human and sometimes we get scared and we panic, accidentally pulling the trigger. That doesn’t mean that they don’t love you… it just means that Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual and sometimes we do the wrong thing. So do you banish them from your life and try to forget their existence when you might have made the very same mistake if the roles were reversed? If they shot you and are begging for forgiveness, willing to do anything to make it up to you, do you give them another chance and hope that the good you see in them will overcome the bad? Or do you just shut down and walk away?
—  I guess it depends what kind of person you want to be - Jess Amelia 

It hurts, ya know. Because you were my best friend, you were my favorite part of every day, for three years. You were my sun and my moon, you were every star in my stupid dipped pink sky. And it just doesn’t matter now. Isn’t that bizarre? You put your heart and soul into someone else’s hands and then it just ends and you have to take everything back. But you can’t take everything back. But you want to. But you don’t. And you can’t. That’s the worst part, you can’t. You make them the air that you breathe and then they’re gone and you have to keep breathing whatever toxicity is left behind, and it hurts. But no one is going to save you, because they can’t. And that’s the worst part too. You just want someone to take the hurt away for a minute, just a second, but they can’t. You have to keep living until the pain gets dull. You don’t want to because they were the best part of this life and now they aren’t here anymore and they don’t even care and you can hardly bear it. But you have to keep living anyways. And it hurts. Ya know? It hurts.

It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts.

“We did meet at the right place and the right time because this was supposed to happen, we were supposed to go our separate ways and learn to live without each other. It hurts but it was supposed to happen.”

you’re still the one i want to talk to when everything goes wrong

Spilled ink