heartaches

Psychology claims that if two past lovers can remain just friends, it’s either they are still in love or never were.
—  Ana Stumpf

Never will I forget
the times we both shared
as we gaze the perfect sunset
sharing love and tender care.

Those cheesy late night talks,
all those slow but romantic walks.
Those long and meaningful letters
have never failed to give me shivers.

But destiny was never on our side,
and your love suddenly died.
I consoled my broken heart,
shedding tears as we part.

My heart was left astray;
I was filled with self-disdain
For you utterly walked away,
leaving me hanging and in great pain.

How could you hurt someone
after all the efforts she has done?
How could you be so heartless
to the one whose love was relentless?

You splintered my heart open,
you made me cry often.
But though you tattered me into pieces,
you’re still part of my 11:11 wishes.

Why lovers can’t be friends.

When you break up with a person, you don’t lose just one person.
You lose a lot.
You lose a lot of things, a lot of people.
They take away the moments you spent with them.
They take away that time you put in to build that kind of life.
They take away friends -their friends whom you had started liking and some who had become good friends.
They take away those songs you used to listen when you were together.
Those lanes where you used to walk.
Those movies you watched with them. And the ones which you didn’t but were going to.
They take away the person you had become when you were with them. Your identity you had associated yourself with. You were theirs for so long- being someone else’s was a part of your identity.
They take away those small things you had saved- now you have no use of the ticket from your first movie or the gift wrappers you managed to save.
They take away those smiles you smiled when someone teased you with their name.
They take away those Facebook tags and photos and status updates which are now meaningless.
They take away those tears, because you will never cry for the same things again, not for another person.
And with all this they take themselves away making sure that you hate some of the things you loved including them.
- Ridhima Shukla

“My boyfriend is looking for a job, so we have some difficulties when we go out on dates. He can’t make any money yet, so he apologizes to me often. I date him because I like him and I don’t think money is a big issue, but when my boyfriend says he’s sorry, my heart aches. So most likely for that reason, whenever I read letters from my boyfriend that end with, ‘Let’s be happy’, I get a lump in my throat.”

“(여자) 남자친구가 취업준비생이라 만날 때 어려움이 있어요. 남자친구는 자기가 아직 돈을 못 벌어서 저에게 미안하다는 말을 자주 해요. 제 입장에서는 좋아서 만나는 거니까 돈 같은 건 문제가 아니라고 생각하는데도 남자친구가 미안하다고 하면 좀 마음이 아프죠. 그래서 그런지 남자친구가 항상 편지 끝에 ‘우리 행복하자’라는 글을 쓰는데 그걸 보면 저도 모르게 울컥하게 돼요.”