heartaches

I wish I hadn’t met him. If so, I wish we hadn’t had a complicated relationship. Maybe I wouldn’t be like this, isang tangang babae waiting for him to comfort me and say every thing is going to be just okay. Pero hindi. The feeling that you saw the proof na pinaglaruan ka talaga, na ginamit ka lang. I’ve been living a lie, or made-up-lie. Why have I given him so many chances? I shouldn’t have been so stubborn on myself, dapat hindi ko na siya pinagbigyan pa. He is not worthy of any chances. Ganun pala kasakit yun kapag nalaman mong iba ang iniisip niya kapag magkasama kayo. And then you’ll see a proof of unfaithfulness. Well, I can’t say he is unfaithful because we really don’t have a formal relationship. But I told him if there is already someone he’s courting then I’ll leave him. Pero wala siyang sinabe. And I, making myself believe na he doesn’t want me to leave him, stayed. Kahit alam kong katangahan.And the hardest part is to accept the things that you hoped to do with him na ginawa niya with the other one. At ako pa ngayon ang mukang kabit nang hindi ko alam. I’m an idiot for loving him. I’m a smart girl, and everyone thinks I’m smarter than I thought but love ruins all sanity. Ilang beses na nangyare ‘to e pero here I am, going to get over with him na naman. But this is the last. One last cry. I’ve had enough, a proof of photos is enough. I just hate the fact that I’ll leave him but he’s happy with someone else and I’ll be sobbing all night thinking that the happily ever after I hoped for is just a dream, and will always be a dream.