heartaches

Psychology claims that if two past lovers can remain just friends, it’s either they are still in love or never were.
—  Ana Stumpf
Why lovers can’t be friends.

When you break up with a person, you don’t lose just one person.
You lose a lot.
You lose a lot of things, a lot of people.
They take away the moments you spent with them.
They take away that time you put in to build that kind of life.
They take away friends -their friends whom you had started liking and some who had become good friends.
They take away those songs you used to listen when you were together.
Those lanes where you used to walk.
Those movies you watched with them. And the ones which you didn’t but were going to.
They take away the person you had become when you were with them. Your identity you had associated yourself with. You were theirs for so long- being someone else’s was a part of your identity.
They take away those small things you had saved- now you have no use of the ticket from your first movie or the gift wrappers you managed to save.
They take away those smiles you smiled when someone teased you with their name.
They take away those Facebook tags and photos and status updates which are now meaningless.
They take away those tears, because you will never cry for the same things again, not for another person.
And with all this they take themselves away making sure that you hate some of the things you loved including them.
- Ridhima Shukla

“My boyfriend is looking for a job, so we have some difficulties when we go out on dates. He can’t make any money yet, so he apologizes to me often. I date him because I like him and I don’t think money is a big issue, but when my boyfriend says he’s sorry, my heart aches. So most likely for that reason, whenever I read letters from my boyfriend that end with, ‘Let’s be happy’, I get a lump in my throat.”

“(여자) 남자친구가 취업준비생이라 만날 때 어려움이 있어요. 남자친구는 자기가 아직 돈을 못 벌어서 저에게 미안하다는 말을 자주 해요. 제 입장에서는 좋아서 만나는 거니까 돈 같은 건 문제가 아니라고 생각하는데도 남자친구가 미안하다고 하면 좀 마음이 아프죠. 그래서 그런지 남자친구가 항상 편지 끝에 ‘우리 행복하자’라는 글을 쓰는데 그걸 보면 저도 모르게 울컥하게 돼요.”

HARRY IS THAT GUY THAT DANCES WITH THE LITTLE KIDS AT HIS LEGS AND ONE OR TWO BABIES IN HIS ARMS AND HE LAUGHS AS THEY IMITATE HIS WEIRD RETRAINED WIGGLING AND EVERYONE IS IN AWE OF THIS CHARMING GIANT KEEPING THEIR KIDS ENTERTAINED BUT IN RETROSPECT HARRY REALLY ENJOYS IT AND HE NOTICES A SHORTER AND DAPPER MAN SMILING OFF IN THE DISTANCE AND LATER SAID DAPPER MAN APPROACHES THE KIDS AND SAYS “sorry kids, I’m gonna borrow him for a minute, yeah?” AND THEY DANCE TOGETHER AND HARRY HAD NEVER FELT HIS HEART FLUTTER THIS MUCH IN HIS LIFE AND THIS BOY IS JUST SO ENCHANTING AND LOUIS IS JUST AS CAPTIVATED WITH HIS QUIRKY CHARM AND CHARISMA AS ANYONE THERE WOW GOODBYE EVERYONE

My heart is a tide
that rises when
you are close
& falls the further
away you go.
I have been
writing your initials
on my wrist
for nearly as long
as it’s been
since the last time
you said something.
I can’t even hear
the waves anymore,
but I wonder if
it’s just as hard
for you to not think
of my lips instead
when hers are
pressed against
your own, as it is
for me with him &
I wonder how many
days on the calender
I have to cross off
to reach the highest
part of the shore again
& gather the seashells
of mutual forgiveness.
All I ever wanted
was to try until
we got it right.
You with your
moonlight & me
with my tidal wave
soul that still
hasn’t stopped
trying to call you
back home.
—  Moriah Pearson (mooneyedandglowing)